Best Jokes Heard On Celebrity Cruise..

[hommebronze]

1. saw a man crying in front of a headstone,'...why did you die, why did you die", he weeped. I asked him, "must have been someone important for you to cry so much?"

 

He replied, "he was my wife's first husband!

 

2. what do get when you cross an owl with an oyster?

 

a mussel that stays up all night!

 

3. my impression of barbara streisand....nice voice, big nose!

 

Please add on fellow travelers upon the sea!

 

ralph in san diego

[frchteaze]

Please tell me these jokes came from a child on the cruise and not the comedian. :eek:

[Shirley and Les]

The shower in this cabin is so small I just soap the walls and spin around a couple of times. :D

[momofmeg]

The shower in this cabin is so small I just soap the walls and spin around a couple of times. :D

 

 

I found that VERY funny when we were on the Mariner of the Seas last fall and VERY true on that ship.

 

Our last cruise on the Zenith we actually had a very nice sized shower-so it would not had been so funny then.

 

The comedian did have one great joke about HAL. He told of a son taking his father on a cruise and the "son" was 80! We laughed and laughed about that-because on our one HAL cruise 75% of the PAX were WELL over 65. We were in our 40's at the time and we felt like spring chickens in comparision!

Others may not have found the joke so funny but for hubby and I-it was so true of our HAL cruise- we could not help but laugh and laugh.

[goldmom]

The food is so good that you may come on as passengers, but you go off as cargo.

[uktog]

the best joke I heard was my DHs attempt to explain why his debits to the account from the Martini lounge - he had stayed there rather than spending money on expensive cigars on Deck 10

[tomatopa]

X is very concerned about your teeth. they have dental floss in the shower....

[Susan-M]

X is very concerned about your teeth. they have dental floss in the shower....

 

That went over my head :confused:

[Sky Sweet]

In Alcapulca, there is no need to go to a mall, because the mall will come to you, no matter where you are in the city.

[ldoc31]

What happened to the wine box thread? It was funnier than any of these jokes. I think it was here yesterday.

[Shirley and Les]

X is very concerned about your teeth. they have dental floss in the shower....

Over my head, also??????

[Shirley and Les]

This is a bit "off topic" for the best joke thread. A few years ago, DW and I had lunch with the comedian on the Horizon. He was a Canadian who had a summer home on Lake Ontario. During the winter, he liked to board up his house and find a cruise gig for the winter months. He was also a digital camera enthusiast and had a secondary ship job as a lecturer on digital photography.

During our lunch, I asked him why the Celebrity stage crews were so excited about their smoke machines. It seems that Celebrity always has smoke during its stage scenes. They also do it during the late stages of the bingo contest (just kidding). Anyway, the comedian went into a tirade about the Celebrity smoke.

Does anyone else notice this?

Les

[CaliforniaDreamin]

X is very concerned about your teeth. they have dental floss in the shower....

 

Susan, Shirley & Less,

 

It's actually the pull out clothsline at top of shower curtain. The comedians use this a lot.