Florida safe for trans kids?

[TJPARMAL]

HI all, Very excited about a family cruise coming up next month. We wanted to spend a few days in the sand and sun before the cruise, but I am starting to get nervous.  Is Miami a safe place for trans kids?  My NB 14 year old loves fashion, jewelry and designer bags. I don't want them to feel they have to tone down their fabulousness. But I am worried we might get arrested for crying out loud, or that we will be unsafe.  Has anyone cruised recently with trans kids and was Florida a safe port?  We are also going to Bahamas, San Jaun and Puerto Playa.  Any thoughts or experiences are welcome!  Thanks

[Guest]

Hi.Grew up in Pittsford.Retired to Fort Lauderdale.Dont really understand the trans life,but will try.Is your child androgynous looking. You didnt say what sex they were born at birth.If hes a boy,I would worry.I would not get off in The Bahamas.

Edited March 4, 2023 by garsny

[Giveitatry2023]

I have no advice. I just wanted to say you’re a great parent, and it’s truly mind numbing and I’m so angry for you that you have to ask this. 
 

I hope your 14 year old gets to be their fabulous self for your whole vacation. ❤️

[TJPARMAL]

On 3/5/2023 at 12:34 PM, Giveitatry2023 said:

I have no advice. I just wanted to say you’re a great parent, and it’s truly mind numbing and I’m so angry for you that you have to ask this. 
 

I hope your 14 year old gets to be their fabulous self for your whole vacation. ❤️

Thanks for the encouragement, I hope so too. I teach a college class on Family Law and we talked about this last night. We talked about how we all have a responsibility to come up with solutions, so over their spring break I asked them to brainstorm how to turn the tide on this - through law, education, social media, or some other creative solution - but that it's immoral to throw up your hands and say, "there's noting I can do." I am trying to turn my anger/sadness/fear into action for safety.  

[TJPARMAL]

On 3/4/2023 at 5:40 PM, Vibe said:

Even though the Florida governor has been in the headlines promoting hateful legislation, you’re kid will be able to be them self and be fabulous, especially in Miami. I would avoid the Bahamas enjoy the empty ship, unless it’s the cruise line private beach. San Juan is ok.  Don’t know much about Puerto Playa.

 

It’s awesome that you are a caring and supportive parent,🥰

Thanks for the information and encouragement.  We are taking your thoughts into account and plan to stay on the ship at Nassau.  Our other excursions will be extremely active/strenuous, so hopefully people will be too busy catching their breath to be judgmental. 🙂 

[Giveitatry2023]

1 hour ago, TJPARMAL said:

Thanks for the encouragement, I hope so too. I teach a college class on Family Law and we talked about this last night. We talked about how we all have a responsibility to come up with solutions, so over their spring break I asked them to brainstorm how to turn the tide on this - through law, education, social media, or some other creative solution - but that it's immoral to throw up your hands and say, "there's noting I can do." I am trying to turn my anger/sadness/fear into action for safety.  

That’s amazing. I hope they come up with something great. In my experience the biggest changes in people who are “opposed” is them interacting with someone outside their narrow viewpoint and suddenly realizing there’s an actual lovely person who is real. 
 

My personal life policy is see something say something so rest assured there are people like me who will speak up if your child is being treated poorly when your around, and many children who will do the same.

[Vibe]

5 hours ago, TJPARMAL said:

Thanks for the information and encouragement.  We are taking your thoughts into account and plan to stay on the ship at Nassau.  Our other excursions will be extremely active/strenuous, so hopefully people will be too busy catching their breath to be judgmental. 🙂 

Hope that your family has a great vacation and creates many wonderful memories 

Edited March 7, 2023 by Vibe

[RICHARD@SEA]

As far as your children I've found that its not what one is ...it's how one behaves.  Certainly Miami Beach is a tourist area w all types of fabulousness...quite the scene to say the least - no matter who /what you are as long as one is not in your face or combative they should be fine.

 

Saying that - after years of visiting the Miami / Ft Lauderdale area & last year renting an apartment for a year  on the beach in Ft Lauderdale  - everyone needs to be very careful of the drugs & crime in the Miami to Palm Beach corridor.

Even friends that live in Florida are very concerned as locals & tourists are targeted by groups - dropping drugs into drinks, prostitution, guns used in robberies & random acts of criminal behavior.  The problem of illegal immigrants has caused an even bigger concern as there is not enough social services to handle the incoming flow.  The gun situation is also out of control.

 

Those that fly in, get on the ship & then fly home are pretty safe.  Those staying in hotels etc are  another story.  In the Miami & FLL area SPRING BREAK is a nightmare like I've never seen  the kids were so out of control & the police can't keep up with it. 

 

I'm from NYC & seen plenty in my time but last year was the first time I was ever concerned about my safety.  I won't be going back.

[Guest]

I guess it all depends on your age.I live right near Port Everglades.I find it a very safe area.It has to be to keep up it's reputation.I can walk around this neighborhood with no problems.I don't go out at night and am over 60.

[CruiserLucas]

1) First, I wanted to echo the sentiment as well that you're an awesome parent thinking of how to keep your kiddo safe!

 

2) Miami for the most part, especially for a 14 year old in the care and supervision of the family, is going to be perfectly safe. If you're all going out together, shopping, etc. no one is going to care or bat an eye. I'd disagree on not getting off in the Bahamas. Just like Miami, your child under your care in the port/shopping area is going to be safe. This isn't you dropping them in the middle of the city alone to figure it out. Plus there are plenty of family-themed excursions in the Bahamas (I'm guess Nassau is where you'll be?) like Atlantis/Paradise Island that you can choose something that gives you a bigger group of other families to be around. Same with Puerto Plata (I think that was a typo when you put Puerto Playa). There are going to be very touristy and safe areas to experience - just find an excursion or stick to the port and you'll be fine. I've been to the Amber Cove area (Carnival's exclusive port) of Puerto Plata, and the people and other tourists were fine. There will be plenty of time in the day to head back to the ship early enough to enjoy it mostly empty. I think it would be a bigger regret to not get off and see new places, than think you missed out on an empty ship.

 

Enjoy your cruise! Maybe come back and let us know how it went!

[CDNPolar]

As far as the ports of call, I would suggest that especially if you are participating in a cruise organized group excursion that you should get off the ship and experience the culture and the country.  Eyes are on the group in these kinds of excursions and you blend in to the group and are safer in my opinion in that group.  I have very strong opinions about certain countries and ports that are not open and inclusive, and although I would never travel there on our own as a gay couple, I will participate in group excursions and have always felt safe.

[CDNPolar]

I have been thinking about this discussion for a few days now and have to make another comment that may not be popular with all...

 

I am 61 years old and went through the 80's and AIDS and all kinds of discrimination in my life.  I survived and "it got better", it really did.

 

I personally am out and proud, but I am out and proud in a quiet sense.  I don't hide who I am, but I don't advertise it.  I will talk openly about my husband in any conversation with anyone.

 

I am all for someone being out and proud in their own way, but we have to understand that sometimes being too out and proud can garner attention that we don't want.

 

We will never (I do hope that one day I don't have to say never) completely eliminate ignorance, bigotry, racism, and discrimination, so we have to be responsible for how we present ourselves to the world.

 

Be out.  Be proud.  At some point however we have to understand that we are not always going to be accepted in open society.

[CruiseAholic]

Your children should be fine. As for those talking about the governor and the don’t say gay bill.  It does not say gay and only related to gender identity in school nrgore 3rd grade. 

[starri]

On 3/16/2023 at 5:14 AM, CDNPolar said:

I am all for someone being out and proud in their own way, but we have to understand that sometimes being too out and proud can garner attention that we don't want.

Any time you make a statement of "I'm all for....but..." you're basically saying you're not for it.

 

I'm 45, so a generation ahead of you.  I wasn't cognizant of the worst of AIDS, but I did manage to be there for Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and the Defense of Marriage Act.

 

Your generation gave us "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!"  Being open and unapologetic about who we are is what got us to where we are now.  The need for that hasn't changed.  No one who's anywhere on the rainbow should be forced to diminish themselves for the comfort of the normies.

[RICHARD@SEA]

On 3/20/2023 at 7:44 AM, starri said:

Any time you make a statement of "I'm all for....but..." you're basically saying you're not for it.

 

I'm 45, so a generation ahead of you.  I wasn't cognizant of the worst of AIDS, but I did manage to be there for Don't Ask, Don't Tell, and the Defense of Marriage Act.

 

Your generation gave us "We're here, we're queer, get used to it!"  Being open and unapologetic about who we are is what got us to where we are now.  The need for that hasn't changed.  No one who's anywhere on the rainbow should be forced to diminish themselves for the comfort of the normies.

Whether a person is on a ship or anywhere else the most important factor is respect.  I am in my mid 60's now & lived in NYC for 40 + years ....I've lived through & seen ALOT!!!!  In all my years I have never encountered  a problem onboard any ship, whether I was travelling solo or with my partner - this is going back to the 1970's.  I've met people from all over the world gay, straight & every combination imaginable.  How people behaved & how considerate of others was  most important.  It was no one's business if I was sleeping w man, dancing w my partner or just having a gay old time. Officers & crew have always been professional, efficient & even fun....all respectfully.

 

One point I think is also important is relevance.  I recently went for my annual physical.  One of the nurses( a 20 something yo) started a conversation about being a transgender person.  All I could think was what does this all have to do with performing their job - I don't care about orientation as long as the person is a professional, well educated in their field & do their job well.

On a cruise & in life most times, its behavior that  educates & earns respect.  The OP should certainly expect their child to be safe.  As far as the term "normies" this just adds fuel to fire - who is "normie" 

whether part of the rainbow or not!!!

[Brgoescruising]

back to OP's original point, I'd suggest checking some of the pflag or pflag type groups in the area and see if perhaps they have any suggestions on cool places(or places to avoid) I'm sure you're not the first to ask these questions in a local FB group for such a big city....also - if there's name stuff involved, at least carnival will give you an alternate cruise card, they did for my partner.  OH and choose a fun alternate title at check in, i like to surprised my BF and pick a new different outlandish title instead of mr everytime, it's a running gag between us.

[TJPARMAL]

Thanks everyone for your thoughts and advice, I appreciate it more than you know! We leave in a week and we are getting our last bits of planning and packing done. My fabulous and kind hearted polite child is respectful of others every day. Yesterday they told me another teen at school insulted him and he said, "you are only humiliating yourself because you know nothing about fashion. I look good!" ❤️ That level of confidence is aspirational! I only wish I could be so confident. As we pack, we are planning outfits that are swim trunks and swim shorts/ he has one skirt outfit he loves and we still don't have an idea for gala night. He can't decide. But I came here to say that if he decides to wear a tux or a cocktail dress, he will be the best dressed individual in the restaurant. I hope no one thinks that he is being disrespectful of others by glamming it up. Being beautiful in your own skin and taking pride in who you are is a fundamental need for all of us. So if some people out there think that by being true to his self is somehow disrespectful, I hope they realize how harmful that thinking could be. I will come back after our trip and let you know how it went! 

[RICHARD@SEA]

FYI - they recently brought in the National Guard to stop out of control people at spring break & today the Gov announced plans to cancel spring break - its out of control from Miami to Daytona.

[TJPARMAL]

Hi everyone - I just came back to tell you we had an amazing trip!  Miami was great - we spent days on the beach/at the pool and nights walking up and down mid-beach and north beach. We had only one bad experience where a shopkeeper asked us to leave. She didn't come right out and say she didn't like how my child was presenting themselves, but it seemed like ie to us. Other than that, lots of smiles. The cruise was amazing. We stayed on ship at the Bahamas, but we got off in Puerto Rico and Dominican Republic. We explored the countryside in DR, jumped off waterfalls, wet to a tobacco farm and ate at a local roadside restaurant - all with my kiddo being themselves. On the ship, my kids made tons of friends in the teen club and made lasting friendships with teens from Germany, Spain, Italy and Brazil. On Gala night, he glammed it up and wore an amazing white sequence shrug. No one made us feel unwelcome or unsafe.  So thanks for your encouragement and I guess the best part of the trip for me was remembering that so many people are good hearted and have no malice towards strangers. 

 

[Dobby36]

So glad to hear, and thanks for sharing back with us!

[Vibe]

Thanks for reporting back, glad your family enjoyed their vacation

[9tee2Sea]

Miami is just like any other place.  You are likely to run into at least 1 jerk somewhere.  Happens even in Los Angeles where I live.