Cruise and Stay, Grand Lucayan - underwhelming.

pr8hd · June 21, 2023

Cruise and Stay (C/S) basics. One night onboard, 2/4/6 nights at a 'resort' of your choice. Then and another night on the way home. Hotel transportation vouchers are delivered to your cabin in the evening. You depart the ship around 1000 or so, check-in with Bahamian authorities, then board a Taxi (Most likely a full passenger van) to the hotel. You check in, they drop a hold on your credit card, get you room keys, wristbands (For your grade of 'All Inclusive'.) and towel cards. Lunch is already being served when you arrive. Rooms are not ready until 1300 or later, plan accordingly. Resort and shipboard gratuities are included with your C/S fare. Taxi Driver/Bag Handling gratuities are not included. On the day of check out, another van returns you to the ship around 1100 or so. Back through Bahamian customs, security and check-in. There is no luggage service when returning to the ship.

I would not consider the Grand Lucayan a 'resort'. It is a hotel with a beach, bars and dining. The Grand Lucayan Hotel consists of the only two operational buildings in what was once a large scale resort. The resort was hit hard in 2016 and 2019 by Hurricanes Dorian and Matthew.

Knowing this going in, we still feel that we greatly overpaid for what was offered. Rooms are located in Building 8 at the North end of the property. You can walk South on the beach and see how badly the hurricanes damaged the resort. There is a beach access path at that end of the property that takes you out by the marketplace.

'All Inclusive' does not include 'top shelf' brands at the bars. Their definition of 'top shelf' oddly includes Smirnoff Vodka and Kahlua brand liqueur. I'm not making this up - We ordered Black Russians and watched them made with rail Vodka (no surprise) and generic coffee liqueur.

Even though your stay is all inclusive, you sign receipts for meals and drink service. You may enter tips on the receipt, although your gratuities are prepaid using C/S. Please initial the tip amount or it will not be paid. Apparently a former employee’s actions triggered this requirement. Cash is always welcome. US dollars are accepted anywhere and are on par with Bahamian currency.

Every staff member encountered always had a smile for the guests.

The Grand bills itself as having four dining options. Portofino’s, Wave's Beach Bar & Grill, Pizzaria Capri and Aroma Cafe coffee bar. This is not exactly an accurate self assessment.

· Portofino’s: During our stay ALL meals here were buffet style with limited selection and variety. No menu orders or table service at dinner. Expected to see more offerings of Bahamian or other island cuisine. A lunchtime walkthrough on the first day prompted us to head to Daddy Brown’s for various forms of Conch with some Kalik beer. Kalik not being served at the hotel. Breakfast was rather generic with little variety – no eggs to order/omelet station in place. No bars are open during breakfast for a Bloody Mary or Mimosa. Buffet only was not what was advertised or expected.

· Wave’s Beach Bar and Grill: offers the usual lunchtime outdoor buffet menu of burgers, fries, dogs, chicken strips and so on. No complaints here. Service here was efficient and served with a smile – THANKS! Many of the Boat Drinks are pre-mixed for speed of service. Bar closes at 1800.

· Pizzeria Capri - We eat pretty much anything that can call itself pizza. That said, what was offered here was disappointing as it resembled house-brand frozen pizza. The Capri had very recently opened before our stay. I’m hoping things have improved since.

· Aroma Café – The property coffee bar opens at 0900. Huh, what? That said, they made pretty good coffee.

Property: Pool and beach are closed at 1800. The beach area isn’t particularly large but it’s nice enough with plenty of shade options. Pool is large with loungers over the water. The hot tub was plenty warm. The ‘No Kids’ sign is thoroughly ignored by day-pass guests. A few local vendors come by with crafts from the markets or selling seashells by the seashore. If you aren’t interested, they leave you be after a simple ‘No thank you’.

While there is a poolside DJ during the day, the property offers no other entertainment options beyond the TV in your room. Pretty much eat, drink, beach, sleep and repeat. If that is what suits you, this may be the perfect place. We prefer to be active and not have the sidewalks rolled up at dusk. No water sports or other activities are available. A lending library and selection of board games would be a great addition. Cool weather and strong wind kept us inside most of our second day. I take part of that back. There is one shuffleboard lane. There is no access to the basketball or tennis courts on site.

Room: Absolutely loved our room. The room was very large as was the bathroom. Nice amenities and great water pressure. Room was as clean as could be given location and age. Large screen TV with a wide variety of programming. The Housekeeping staff takes pride in their work. With C/S Ocean View rooms price at additional $50 per person, per night. Garden view room balconies and patios overlook the lawn and harbor.