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Has This Happened to You in Dining Room?


JWMom

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wraithe -

Off topic, how do you add the quotes? I looked all over when responding and could't figure it out?

On topic, I have had to deal with some terrible things in the last year, so I have learned (as a means to survive really) not to get too worked up about anything anymore. So, maybe I don't take things quite as seriously as I should, but I am finally at a point where I feel healthy and peaceful, so I have to keep running with it! :)

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Why should I have to have dinner in the buffet area? I just made a simple comment that I thought it was a little tacky and not really appropriate for a more formal setting that they have a semi-dress code for (but apparently no codes for electronic devices!!). I didn't want to move my table because I liked my waiters and wanted to stay with them. We were at a table for 10 and had the 4 seats along the wall so my front eyesight was basically at her and the screen. I guess I could have looked off to the right wall the whole time....And I never said as one melodramatic poster said that it ruined my cruise. I was making a simple observation and wondered if this happened often. Yes, the girl obviously is not hurting anyone but as one poster pointed out, if you went to a nice upscale restaurant would you want to be watching Scooby Doo the whole meal? I wonder if this child does this at home. Yes, it's also better than having her misbehave the whole meal-but if that happened I would hope the parents would remove her from the dining room-but as we all know, that doesn't always happen. I did appreciate them bringing in the headphones the 2nd night. Maybe they felt they wanted to have the whole family "dine" together and that's why they didn't take her to the kids activities-but obviously, she's not interacting with them if she's watching a movie the whole time!!

 

 

Tacky? no I don't think so. I recall you a few weeks ago not thinking

shorts in the dining room as being tacky.

 

As far as interacting with them?

I have a hard time believing she never looked away from the movie long

enough to eat her dinner.

 

Maybe if there was more interaction at YOUR table you wouldn't of

noticed it.

 

I don't know about you, but for me when my family and friends go

to the dining room, we just enjoy good food and company and we

don't care what everyone else is doing.

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I thought it might be of value to point out the most telling thing about this thread. Note the subject line: "Has this ever happened to YOU in Dining Room?" To YOU? Meaning, the kid watching the DVD was somehow doing something TO the OP? That's what gets me about this whole discussion -- the concept that somehow this little girl, sitting quietly at her table silently watching her little electronic box (once the headphones were in, of course), was somehow negatively impacting the OP. As if she couldn't avert her eyes and perhaps focus her attention on her tablemates and her own dinner. As if the parenting choices of these other parents were somehow an imposition on HER.

 

No, it's just another "ooh, look, bad parents, let's rip 'em to shreds so we can talk about how much better WE are and feel better about ourselves!" thread.

 

LeeAnne

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I have really thought what is being said as it has given me some insights into family situations. First of all, and I say this after working with hundreds of families, parents are doing the best they can. Sometimes we look at a family situation and worry about aspects of it but we're not wearing their shoes and we certainly don't know or understand the whole picture. That never means to ignore a difficult or bad situation (I've intervened and had to call in authorities sometimes). We also have to face certain realities. Recommendations about an earlier dinner (which have to end within that hour, hour and a half), looking the other way, etc. are great. You just have to look at the whole picture and what realistically works best. On the opposite side, I took my mother and her walker on a cruise recently. We learned where to sit, where to park that walker, where not to go, what floors to avoid, etc. However, we learned after getting stuck on a between deck, far from the elevators. We learned after placing the walker at the wrong spots. Anyway, we all need smiles that say hello and sometimes an 'it's okay, I've been there, done that."

Robin :cool:

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wraithe -

Off topic, how do you add the quotes? I looked all over when responding and could't figure it out?

 

Easy answer, just push the little blue quote button on the bottom right hand corner of each window. You can cut and paste, and manipulate the little boxes to seperate the quote and respond to each part individually if you want.

 

I know what you mean about dealing with terrible things. We all have our crosses to bear. I personally had to deal with my son having surgery on my first patrol (he was born the last week of Feb and I sailed the second week of Mar, I was told by Red Cross message that it could be cancer and that's all I was told) and my beloved first child, my three yo daughter not recognizing me when I returned from that same patrol, because I was gone so long. My ex-wife worked and took care of my children while I was out to sea, for 8 patrols before we seperated and divorced. That doesn't make me a better or worse parent, but it does give me the right as a parent to state my opinion in a respectful manner to a question posed on this board, and others.

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No, it's just another "ooh, look, bad parents, let's rip 'em to shreds so we can talk about how much better WE are and feel better about ourselves!" thread.

 

LeeAnne

 

You've said this several times now, but I have to say I don't see that in this thread.

 

I agree with the view that the DVD with the headphones is OK - better than a disruptive child - hopefully she gets family interaction at other times during the day and isn't always left to her own devices (;)!). I don't think it would have bothered me as I am always too busy having fun at my own table!

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wraithe -

Off topic, how do you add the quotes? I looked all over when responding and could't figure it out?

On topic, I have had to deal with some terrible things in the last year, so I have learned (as a means to survive really) not to get too worked up about anything anymore. So, maybe I don't take things quite as seriously as I should, but I am finally at a point where I feel healthy and peaceful, so I have to keep running with it! :)

Glad you have learned to relax-I am working on doing the same but sometimes my mouth has a mind of its own. On the board it is my fingers that just type what they want without thinking.

About the quote, if you click, the pen next to "quote' at the bottom of the post, a box comes up. At the lower left corner is options-quote message in reply. Just click on the box. Then post quick reply.However, I do not know how to quote part of a post.

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Easy answer, just push the little blue quote button on the bottom right hand corner of each window. You can cut and paste, and manipulate the little boxes to seperate the quote and respond to each part individually if you want.

 

I know what you mean about dealing with terrible things. We all have our crosses to bear. I personally had to deal with my son having surgery on my first patrol (he was born the last week of Feb and I sailed the second week of Mar, I was told by Red Cross message that it could be cancer and that's all I was told) and my beloved first child, my three yo daughter not recognizing me when I returned from that same patrol, because I was gone so long. My ex-wife worked and took care of my children while I was out to sea, for 8 patrols before we seperated and divorced. That doesn't make me a better or worse parent, but it does give me the right as a parent to state my opinion in a respectful manner to a question posed on this board, and others.

 

I am hoping I got this right. Thanks.

 

And I gather from your post that you are/have in some capacity served our country - thanks is inadequate. THANK YOU! I can't begin to imagine the sacrifices people have made, but I am grateful.

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You've said this several times now, but I have to say I don't see that in this thread.

 

I agree with the view that the DVD with the headphones is OK - better than a disruptive child - hopefully she gets family interaction at other times during the day and isn't always left to her own devices (;)!). I don't think it would have bothered me as I am always too busy having fun at my own table!

I will say that there have been a number of very thoughtful, introspective and caring posts in this thread, and I should have acknowledged that. I'm glad to see that there are a number of people in here who recognize that everything is not always as it seems on the surface, and that it's better to look at others with empathy and compassion rather than self-satisfied judgementalism. And I'm also happy to see that not everyone jumped on the "oh yeah, I agree how AWFUL are those parents?" bandwagon. But there were enough of them in here that did jump on that bandwagon. And I think sometimes people need a reminder that it's not always about YOU. This little girl wasn't hurting anyone...least of all the OP. That was my only point.

 

But I have enjoyed reading the more caring and empathetic posts in here.

 

LeeAnne

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I have seen several messages that referred to the dining room as "an upscale restaurant" and I agree. But when my sons were 5, 7, and 9, we didn't take them to land-based "upscale restaurants." We took them to places like Denny's, then moved up to Red Lobster or Olive Garden, and that was "upscale" to them at the time. (Certainly a big step up from Happy Meals!)

 

So, if we were on a cruise, and knew that we had not yet taught the children to sit quietly through a long, formal meal, we might have allowed them some kind of entertainment (and I'm really not sure why coloring books might be acceptable and silent DVD's are not).

 

Frankly, I'd much rather sit near a silent 7-year-old who is watching a DVD than one who is being forced (and taught) to sit through a 2 hour meal for the first time.

 

We didn't cruise with our kids until they were teenagers, by which time we had dined with them in many situations. Still, the formality of the dining room was something new to them, and they enjoyed it very much! (and I was very proud to walk in with my handsome men in their dark suits!)

 

I a pretty big stickler for kids' behavior, but I would cut the parents some slack in this situation. We're talking about a 7 year-old, not a 15 year old. And the child wasn't misbehaving or disrupting the dining experience of others.

 

Just my 2 cents' worth

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There is not RIGHT way to parent, each person has to decide what is best for their situation and their children. What is right for you, may not be right for the next person. There are no manuals.

 

This child was not bothering anyone and was quiet, so they were not infringing on any person's vacation.

 

I don't allow gadgets or toys at the table either but I have NO right to infringe my thoughts on parenting on some one else unless that person is infringing on my rights.

 

What right do I have to judge some other parent at another table because they have a different idea on what they consider appropriate parenting and what is appropriate for their children then I might have?

 

So they let their child listen to Scooby-Doo at the table. IMO judging that parent seems self-righteous to me.

 

To each their own though.

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Now I'm starting to feel like all is right with the world again. Thank you, spaz44 and mheeren!

 

I hope this helps others to think twice before they start spouting off "can you BELIEVE those low-class people?" posts again.

 

LeeAnne

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JWMom - a quick question and please don't take offense to this, but, weren't you the person who started the whole "Can kids wear shorts in the dining room" debate the week before your cruise.

 

Now you're back, starting another dining room debate but you are complaining about other kids in the dining room?

 

Forgive my memory if it's foggy and that wasn't you...but I just think it's odd to start two dining room debates in 2 weeks. :confused:

 

Yes that's me-BUT I did not start a "debate" in the thread-I simply asked the question of whether kids could wear shorts in the DR because I wasn't sure (I thought had read somewhere-probably on this website somewhere- that shorts weren't allowed in DR but then I went on RCCL website and couldn't seem to find it-so I was just planning my packing and was asking about the shorts. Then, as usual, the whole thread got off on the typical sidebar. But I was not complaining-just asking a question. Then with this thread I was making an observation and again it all goes crazy. I never said these people were bad parents-I did say it was a little tacky-but was just asking if people saw this a lot.

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I will say that there have been a number of very thoughtful, introspective and caring posts in this thread, and I should have acknowledged that. I'm glad to see that there are a number of people in here who recognize that everything is not always as it seems on the surface, and that it's better to look at others with empathy and compassion rather than self-satisfied judgementalism. And I'm also happy to see that not everyone jumped on the "oh yeah, I agree how AWFUL are those parents?" bandwagon. But there were enough of them in here that did jump on that bandwagon. And I think sometimes people need a reminder that it's not always about YOU. This little girl wasn't hurting anyone...least of all the OP. That was my only point.

 

But I have enjoyed reading the more caring and empathetic posts in here.

 

LeeAnne

 

Well as usual, this comes back to bashing the OP-I did say it was a little tacky in my opinion-but never said the girl had bad parents. I just have never been out to a restaurant and seen a child watching a DVD so I was asking if others on cruise ships had seen that. It didn't ruin my cruise. I was entertained at my table with my own children who were having conversation but occasionally I would look around and that's when I saw it. But I don't think I said it ruined my dinner every night (and that was not my intention with the post). But you seem intent on coming down on those that don't share your opinion so aren't you just as bad? We all have different opinions here and are all entitled to express them. I don't think I ever personally attacked that family and that was never my opinion or intention. I don't know why everyone has to get so nasty.

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Yes that's me-BUT I did not start a "debate" in the thread-I simply asked the question of whether kids could wear shorts in the DR because I wasn't sure (I thought had read somewhere-probably on this website somewhere- that shorts weren't allowed in DR but then I went on RCCL website and couldn't seem to find it-so I was just planning my packing and was asking about the shorts. Then, as usual, the whole thread got off on the typical sidebar. But I was not complaining-just asking a question. Then with this thread I was making an observation and again it all goes crazy. I never said these people were bad parents-I did say it was a little tacky-but was just asking if people saw this a lot.

 

I thought both questions you posted in both threads were perfectly fine.

 

I agree with you in this thread, too, that having to stare at an animated, full-color Scooby-Doo feature cartoon every night at dinner for a week would drive a person bonkers! I got the point that you couldn't NOT look at it, because it was in your face (or line of vision, actually).

 

If people get off on tangents on these threads, so be it. It's not within the OP's control.

 

And, to repeat my previous post, I only wish the little girl could have been seated so her DVD player faced a wall and not you!

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Also an excellent point, I got into a pi**ing contest on the other thread I mentioned that left me embarassed when I thought about it (instead of just running my mouth so to speak). That's why I've tried real hard to be respectful, just point out my opinion here. It's never black and white, so we all have to give a little in order to be able to take a little. Sometimes here on a chat board, it's easy to be verbally offensive without even meaning to, since the reader can't see your face smiling or frowning, or hear the inflection of your voice. Good points, all, and it has been a good read so far. I hope that this relatively adult thread and a technical discussion of fire thread that I've been reading on the Princess board turn into a trend.

 

Well said Wraithe! I just wanted to say Hi to you also!!

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I thought it might be of value to point out the most telling thing about this thread. Note the subject line: "Has this ever happened to YOU in Dining Room?" To YOU? Meaning, the kid watching the DVD was somehow doing something TO the OP? That's what gets me about this whole discussion -- the concept that somehow this little girl, sitting quietly at her table silently watching her little electronic box (once the headphones were in, of course), was somehow negatively impacting the OP. As if she couldn't avert her eyes and perhaps focus her attention on her tablemates and her own dinner. As if the parenting choices of these other parents were somehow an imposition on HER.

 

No, it's just another "ooh, look, bad parents, let's rip 'em to shreds so we can talk about how much better WE are and feel better about ourselves!" thread.

 

Well I seem to feel the need to respond to your post yet again (I guess I need to just let it go like others have said we need to do with things sometimes...)-good grief I can't believe you're picking apart my title-that was just the way I worded it meaning have you seen this in the DR like you would say Have You Gotten Good Service or whatever-seems like you're just finding things to pick apart. How might you suggest I have worded it? Again, I never bashed the parents-just said it was a little tacky IMO. I did pay attention to my tablemates during dinner-but did look around from time to time and saw the movie.

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My sister has 4 wonderful children, all below the age of 10. I can take them anywhere for any length of time and they behave themselves. I cannot count how many times we have been somewhere with children running around with no supervision and screaming their head off and generally making it very miserable for everyone else. I have people come up and comment on how well behaved our kids are. And I assure you, we are not yelling, pinching, or slapping them to get them to behave, And no, they are not medicated. They just have been taught by my sister and brother in law what is appropriate and what is not. Good behavior is rewarded, and bad behavior mandates discipline. They have it all mapped out what will happen if this occurs and what will happen if that occurs. I think that is just letting children know who is running the show. I know there are exceptions. But DVD and IPOD type entertainment at the table is completely uncalled for. I agree with other posters to go upstairs.

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I thought it might be of value to point out the most telling thing about this thread. Note the subject line: "Has this ever happened to YOU in Dining Room?" To YOU? Meaning, the kid watching the DVD was somehow doing something TO the OP? That's what gets me about this whole discussion -- the concept that somehow this little girl, sitting quietly at her table silently watching her little electronic box (once the headphones were in, of course), was somehow negatively impacting the OP. As if she couldn't avert her eyes and perhaps focus her attention on her tablemates and her own dinner. As if the parenting choices of these other parents were somehow an imposition on HER.

 

No, it's just another "ooh, look, bad parents, let's rip 'em to shreds so we can talk about how much better WE are and feel better about ourselves!" thread.

 

LeeAnne

 

After giving it some thought, I can see where you might misinterpret my title-I did not mean it that way-perhaps I should have said, Have you ever seen this in the dining room-I just typed that out with no agenda in the way it was worded. I still think though you're nitpicking me but oh well... have a nice day!

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Again, I never bashed the parents-just said it was a little tacky IMO. I did pay attention to my tablemates during dinner-but did look around from time to time and saw the movie.

 

From previous posts:

 

I was subjected to watching Scooby Doo every single night at dinner. (my chair was such that I couldn't move and not see it and she sat in the same chair the entire time) ...I just think at some point a child should be expected to enjoy a meal and not be entertained the whole time.

 

and...

 

I thought it was a little tacky and not really appropriate for a more formal setting that they have a semi-dress code for (but apparently no codes for electronic devices!!)

 

and...

 

if you went to a nice upscale restaurant would you want to be watching Scooby Doo the whole meal? I wonder if this child does this at home.

Sorry, but it all sounds a bit judgemental of the other parents to me. But I will say that you were by no means the MOST judgemental poster in this thread, that's for sure!

 

I am glad it didn't ruin your cruise. I just wonder what purpose was served by even bringing it up. Did you really want to know if this "happens a lot"? Or did you just want to hear others agree with you that it was tacky and inappropriate?

 

Anyway, sometimes it IS best to just let things go. I hope that this thread has served to open up a few minds that sometimes things are not always as it seems, and it can be emotionally healthier to look at others with compassion and empathy.

 

LeeAnne

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After giving it some thought, I can see where you might misinterpret my title-I did not mean it that way-perhaps I should have said, Have you ever seen this in the dining room-I just typed that out with no agenda in the way it was worded. I still think though you're nitpicking me but oh well... have a nice day!

Okay...I appreciate your taking the time to try to view it from another perspective, and I do see your point. I'll stop nitpicking now! I think ultimately this thread had value.

 

LeeAnne

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This is such a big discussion with children and electronics, how about adults who bring their cell phones to the dinner table with the phone ringing non-stop? I think that it is rude to sit at a table and chat with someone on the phone when you have dinner partners.

 

As a server, I cannot count the many times I have had them tell me their order while still chatting on the phone.

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Yes that's me-BUT I did not start a "debate" in the thread-I simply asked the question of whether kids could wear shorts in the DR because I wasn't sure (I thought had read somewhere-probably on this website somewhere- that shorts weren't allowed in DR but then I went on RCCL website and couldn't seem to find it-so I was just planning my packing and was asking about the shorts. Then, as usual, the whole thread got off on the typical sidebar. But I was not complaining-just asking a question. Then with this thread I was making an observation and again it all goes crazy. I never said these people were bad parents-I did say it was a little tacky-but was just asking if people saw this a lot.

 

Sorry, I just thought it odd that both of your threads incited huge debates. Just pointing out the obvious here.

 

And you think a 7 year old watching the DVD at the table is "tacky" but you actually had to question about shorts in the dining room? :confused:

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... at dinner at the table next to us, there was a pretty large group together with a daughter maybe 7 yo and she brought a portable DVD to dinner every night. I was subjected to watching Scooby Doo every single night at dinner.

 

The short answer to your question is no, it wouldn’t bother me a bit if a small child (or anyone else) decided that the dining room aboard a cruise ship is a good place to watch Scooby Doo.

 

Let’s look at the gamut of potential reasons and then you decide.

 

First, she might have a behavior challenge, and along with medication(s) the DVD player is her personal security blanket. If watching Scooby Doo kept her quiet for the duration of dinner then why not let the child do this?

 

Second, that child might have just endured the loss of a family member and old Scoob was her way of dealing with it.

 

Third, imagine that a kid undergoing chemo or enduring a serious surgery was told by her parents that if she was a “big girl” and held strong for the duration of the health care then she could select one thing that would make her happy. In this case it was a DVD player and a movie. I spend my days in the healthcare business, and I have seen many compromises between kids and parents.

 

While any of the above scenarios might be correct it might be possible that she’s just a spoiled brat that uses the DVD player to get her way. The point is you really don’t know the details behind the events.

 

So for me, if the headphones worked and the audio of Scooby Doo didn’t make it to your table then you need to pay more attention to your family at your own table.

 

If that were my child and she had any of the above reasons for the DVD player and someone took it upon themselves to speak to me about it then they’d better be ready for a response not quite predictable, and not in their favor.

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First of all, I would like to thank everyone for the positive response my son's story has received. I posted all of that with a lot of trepidation, believe me!

 

And I guess I have one more thought. In three cruises, the only behavior I have ever noticed in the main dining room that bothered me was when other table of 10 didn't show up on the last night, thereby stiffing my waiter of his well-earned tips.

 

I couldn't tell you what people wore. I couldn't tell you what the kids near us were doing. I never noticed any body odor or bad perfume smells. I did notice some gold lame dresses that made me smile a little, but MOSTLY, I noticed the gorgeous dining room, the views of the ocean, the pretty tables, the courteous and efficient staff, the good food and the company of the people at our tables.

 

I've decided I'm a very unobservant person. I think I'm okay with that. I have fun on my cruises. :)

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