Ground rules question.

[wercruzin]

If you have cruised with another couple. What are some of the ground rules that you mention?? Time together.. time apart... I want to be fair to the couple going with us.

 

What would be some good areas to cover?

[Mikel1733]

One of our worst trips was with another couple who thought we had to do everything together. Then it was the stress of compromising on things to keep everyone happy.

 

Our best trips have been with friends and or family in a situation where everyone knew they could keep their own schedule and we would each evening have supper together. Much more fun.

[britishiles]

Get together after dinner and look at the next day's Capers together. Talk about what you want to do and they will talk about what they want to do. If it is together great. If not, see ya at dinner.

 

We went on a cruise last year with friends and they didn't know how to relax. They were constantly on the go around the ship and in port. We finally told them we were just going to relax at the pool and we would see them at dinner.

 

Get some walkie talkies they would help trying to catch up when you do want to hang with them.

[wwakla]

I agree. We are traveling with two other couples and I put it right up front. Do what you want it may not be what I want. But I would love to have dinner with you. All parties sighed relief.:D

Hey I'm afraid of heights. Go parasailing without me. I'll be on the beach drinking a foo-foo drink. lol

Just make sure everything is up front. That way there will be no surprises and no dissappoinments.

Enjoy!

[Northern Bear]

We cruise all the time with another couple that are great. We have no set rules but if one couple wants to do something the other doesn't, they just say "See you at dinner (or lunch), have fun" and thats all it takes.

 

Its inevitable that you will spend a lot of time together and you should be ready for it. You must like spending time with these people or you wouldn't have asked them to go with you. You just don't have to spend every waking minute with each other.

 

If you need to, make sure they know "the rules" at the start. Otherwise you (or they) may be compromising their own enjoyment.

 

NB.

[astropilot]

Just make it clear that they can do what they want when they want, and you'll do the same. We always meet for dinner, and of course we talk about what we might want to do as group. But remember you are all on vacation, and standing around waiting for someone is not my idea of a fun time.

 

That being said, do a little planning, have some together time, and some alone time and have great time at sea!!!

[rsjc]

We always have said that everyone is on their own during port days; we’ll get together in the evenings for dinner and the show. Sea days were never a hassle because we all ended up at the pool. Port days can be a problem because some people want to do as much as possible and others just want to hang out at the beach, shop or heck never even get of the boat. The more I cruise the less the ports mean to me. I still always get off to at least walk around or go to the beach.

[Criscomia]

Get together for dinner about 1 week or so before the cruise. At that time, go over some basic ground rules that you would like to see happen. Let them know, in a kind way, that you are not joined at the hip.

[gail811]

When cruising with family, friends and other couples we always let it be known that we are not the cruise director! We usually plan things we want to do, throw out the invitation to anyone in our party that may be interested, and always meet at dinner as a group. We have never had an issue. In Cozumel one year our friends went deep sea fishing (even took two of our sons!) while we rented a car and drove around the island. I think discussing things ahead of time and understanding everyones expectations will help reduce the stress once on board! Post it notes for the doors are good on board, or leaving messages on the phone. We had no problems keeping up with everyone.

[MikeNKim]

We are cruising for the first time with my In Laws. We will all do what we want but we have our ressies linked so we can have dinner together every night. It also however, turned out that we wanted the same excursions which we are fine with. But anything else you want to do....go ahead and do it. Don't have to be joinned at the hip with anyone. We can recap the day at dinner.

 

Kim

[cosmo cruiser]

Setting ground rules BEFORE a trip is so important to keep from having a horrible time and causing hurt feeling! We took the trip from HELL with a couple we thought we could travel with eight years ago. It wasn't a cruise but a land based trip to NYC. Worst vacation of our lives. She only wanted to do what she wanted to do, when she wanted to do it, and the heck with everyone else. Even her own husband had a terrible time. We tried to voice a united opinion (the three of us) and she threw a fit and whinned and pouted for hours. Not worth it, we gave in for the remainer of the trip to her way of thinking. Once the trip was over we swore we would never travel with anyone again. We haven't even gone out to dinner with that couple since the NYC trip!

We'll two years ago we gave in and invited my hubby's brother and his wife to go on a cruise with us. It worked out wonderful and we have been on two with them so far and the third is booked. The biggest difference of course are the personalities of the people involved, but we did discuss the ground rules at length when we invited them. We explained the horrible trip to them in detail and we all agreed we didn't want a vacation like that one ever again. We basically go our own way from the start and if we decide to go on the same excursion for example....great....if not that's fine as well. They are morning people (up at the crack of dawn and done right after dinner for the evening) we are late sleepers and stay up till the wee hours of the morning. Even with the differences in our time schedules we find we end up doing some things together. We always meet for dinner in the main dining room and if we haven't been together for the day we talk about what we did for the day. That is the only pre-set thing we all agree to do together on a daily basis. We sailed Western Caribbean on our last cruise with them and they didn't get off the ship in one port. We went to see everything we wanted to and told them all about it later at dinner. They spent the day lounging by the pool and said they felt like they were on a private yacht for the day! We plan and book our excursions ahead of time. We do discuss what we each would like to do and see, if they happen to be the same things we do them together, if not, thats fine as well, we each go our own way. We do occasionally leave each other a post-it-note on the other couples door to say where we have gone and the time we left just in case they care to join us. For example: 1:15 catching some sun/having drinks on Lido, join us if you like. If we meet up we spend the afternoon together, if not, no hard feelings. It works for the four of us because we agree to say if we don't care to do something and we agree to no hurt feelings. It's vacation and we all should be able to spend it doing whatever we feel like at the moment.

We have discussed inviting a few others along.....but we always come back to "What if they aren't like the four of us and we feel like we have to babysit them all week"? So far we haven't expanded the group any for fear of it not working as well. Once burnt, twice shy I guess. We really enjoy cruising with this couple and feel really blessed to have figured out it works for the four of us. Will we ever invite others to join us? Maybe not, it works so well this way I hate to chance it. The biggest thing is to discuss what you want to commit to up front and for everyone to be on the same page so you can remain friends and have wonderful vacations together.

[salty dingo]

I have cruised with several groups before, and generally, the rule is "the more the merrier." If I am going on an excursion, I usually let others know so they can come along and split the cost for all our benefit.

 

What I NEVER do, is decide on what I want to do based on the decisions of others in the group. I decide what I want to do and then inform my traveling companions. If they want to come, great, if not, that is fine too.

 

Maybe some of the conflicts happen when one of the parties wants to do something the other does not want to, and then feels as if one should compromise. It should be known up front that there will be no compromising, but on the other hand, they are welcome to come along if they want to do what you want to do.

 

I think it would be rude to exclude a traveling companion if they wanted to come along on an excursion.

[Beth]

Cosco Cruiser I think I will have your problem next month. Some friends are going on a cruise with us and the other women thinks everything revolves around her and is so moody when things don't go her way. I am not looking forward to the cruise. She wants to spend the whole day in Cozumel shopping and I have been there7 times so shopping is not for me. I plan on horse back riding, but I know whe will pitch a fit. Never again do I go with anone else.

[Stircrzy]

When cruising with family, friends and other couples we always let it be known that we are not the cruise director! We usually plan things we want to do, throw out the invitation to anyone in our party that may be interested, and always meet at dinner as a group. We have never had an issue. In Cozumel one year our friends went deep sea fishing (even took two of our sons!) while we rented a car and drove around the island. I think discussing things ahead of time and understanding everyones expectations will help reduce the stress once on board! Post it notes for the doors are good on board, or leaving messages on the phone. We had no problems keeping up with everyone.

 

I've been the instigator of several "family & friends" group cruises. We follow the advice that Gail gave above. We meet for dinner in the evening and have a great time hearing what each person did during the day.

 

I plan excursions as if I were traveling alone and the rest are invited to join me or to do their own thing in port. It's worked well for us.

[lmondrop]

We've gone on all of your cruises with a group of people and/or couples. One thing I tell my BF before leaving is that as long as he and I agree on what to do everyone else is welcome to come along. If the other people happen to be doing something we like than we join them, if not then we meet later dor dinner and perhaps drink at the bar....No one is joined at the hip and this is YOUR vacation. Enjoy it and don't let anyone tell you what YOU must do!! But always set the rules before leaving so everyone is happy and does what they like and their are no surprises.

 

Happy Travels!!

[cosmo cruiser]

Beth,

I totally feel for you as the woman you are going with sounds just like what we experienced. Mine is behind me thankfully. Yours is yet to come and I feel bad for you if it turns out the way you think it will. I don't understand people who cannot go off on their own and have a good time. I certainly enjoy doing things with others but when we had our bad experience she let it be known in no uncertain terms that it was her way or no way. I finally "gave up the battle" and just didn't put myself in the situation to "go to war" with her again. It's a sad situation when one is in it and can't find a comfortable compromise. I hope you can find a way to explain what you are going to do and help her be o.k. with it. If not I would suggest just doing your own thing and letting her pout, if it's as bad as ours was you won't ever let yourself travel with her again after a bad vacation so no loss really. Unless I guess she is related and you have to see her all the time when not on vacation, that could be bad. Hate the thought of her making your vacation miserable. It's sad to look forward to a great vacation and someone else manages to screw it up thru no fault of yours. In hindsight I wish I had told our gal to pack sand and went my own way to enjoy what we could of the trip. I didn't so instead we are going to NYC again for 4 days before we cruise to Canada from there in June of 07. Guess it gives me a good excuse to go back to NYC! Maybe I should thank her....not.

[Stircrzy]

Beth,

... I would suggest just doing your own thing and letting her pout...

 

Amen!

 

If you can't do that, then out-pout her! :D

[cruisinbuddy]

Without reading the other posts, so I might be repeating here.

I've never travelled with another couple but I do have a ground rule. You do what you want and we'll do what I want. Even as far as excursions go, I wouldn't tell them which ones we were doing. I don't want them to give up a coach tour to go snorkling if they don't like the water, and by God, I will not give up snorkling to go on a coach tour, no way. Get a table together for dinner, and you'll have so much more to talk about then. You want casino and we want comedy show, fine we'll talk later.