This Sucks, my fiance doesn't like cruises very much

[Littlegoo75]

Ugh.... I went on a cruise with my then boyfriend (now fiance) in February, and we had a great time aboard the Liberty. Although I had a lot more fun because I am a cruise freak. Well, the fiance doesn't like to gamble, and doesn't drink a whole lot, and isn't too keen on crowds.

 

I on the other hand love to gamble and spend quite a bit of time in the casino, enjoy cocktails, and love the whole ambiance of a cruise.

 

So, out of respect for him, I decided to not make him go on a cruise for our honeymoon (he said he doesn't want to spend his honeymoon with 3,000 other people) even though my dream honeymoon would either be a Carnival cruise in the Mediterranean or the Panama Canal.

 

We did decide on an All inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, which he says I picked because it's like a cruise without the ship.

 

So, we had a discussion the other day and he said we can do one cruise every 4 years.....WHAT??????!!!

 

I told him that I want to do at least one per year. We are looking to move to Houston, and there is a port right there, so of course we would have to do at least one a year since we won't have to pay for airfare.

 

I guess I will just have to cruise without him. I'll have to find some cruise friends who also have party pooper husbands.

 

I just don't get it, how can anyone not like cruising? It's not enough of a reason not to marry the guy, but that really stinks!

[momofzeke]

Oh, man, that's too bad! :( I was worried that my DH wouldn't like cruising, but he is hooked just like me. He LOVES it!

 

Does your fiancee like the port days? Maybe you could try a cruise with more port days than sea days and then he wouldn't have to spend as much time on the ship. We did the Miracle, with 4 port days and 2 sea days. Also, the Spirit class ships (like the Pride and Miracle) are smaller than the Conquest class (Liberty). Maybe less people would help.

 

Good luck, and congratulations on your upcoming marriage! :)

[seashell36]

That is too bad! My DH was hooked from the first step onto the ship. He has even convinced most of his friends to go on one next year!

Maybe you could get him to try a smaller ship. We just got off the Elation and had 3 ports of call and 1 sea day. There are lots of things to do on the Elation, but there is always someplace you can find to be alone. DH & I found at times during the day we had the whole back deck to ourselves. If he still doesn't like cruising, I hope you have some friends or sisters that you can cruise with!

[shungirl]

DUMP HIM!! :) Just kidding. I am a TA and my husband will not fly. So I leave his hiney at home. I have had way more fun without him... and have got to see so many great places! If I dont cruise every few months I get mean!! LOL We do cruise together once a year, and go to Destin FL (we got married on the beach there). The rest of the time, I go with some one else, and dont look back!

[mrdood]

So he would rather spend time with the 9 million residents of the Dominican Republic???

 

Sounds like he is just throwing out weak excuses and something else is going on. Still time to dump him for someone that is cruise compatible.:D

 

We can auction you off on the boards!

 

I am still looking for my cruising sugar mama.... oh yeah, I married her!

[ashleycrew]

you may want to try baby steps with him...

 

get him to agree to some shorter 3-5 nighters, then comprimise. For example my wife likes reading so every night on the cruises she heads to the room for her before bed reading and I head to the casino (which she does not like). I would think that there would be things he enjoys on a cruise but the thing that works for us is that we are able to go off and do our things seperately that we like and then do the things on land or other activities we both like togethor.

[tkportersat]

Well, if all his other qualities are good you should probably keep him :) I can't even find one of those!! I have to say it would be much easier to find someone that loves to cruise as much as I do, otherwise it would be a bummer. But, you will just have to arrange to go on girls only cruises every once in a while. They should have a dating site on here......hint hint :) For me!!

 

Good luck, maybe he will change his mind when you tell him you are cruising without him!!

[lyssasis]

That does suck! I just don't get what's not to like about cruising!:confused: But, I guess everyone is different... I think your on the right track with going cruising with friends. That sounds like alot of fun! Who knows, it may turn out to be more fun with just the girls! Hmm...Note to self, plan girls only cruise ;)

[bthorn1108]

It hasn't happened to often, but occasionally, I will see a cruise deal that I just can't live without out. If DH say's he doesn't want to do it, I just inform him, "That's O.K., I'll find a girlfriend to go with". Hasn't failed yet, I've always gone on the cruise and with DH. I haven't done it too many times, maybe twice in 10 years (itineraries I really wanted, that he didn't, ie, Alaska), so I wouldn't recommend doing it alot (may get old to DH), but it should work so that you get a cruise more than once every 4 years.

[Cruzman]

I say dump him while you still can! Besides, I'm available; and I am a cruise addict of the highest degree, lol. Seriously though; you are starting out your relationship with your having to make all of the compromises. If he is so unwilling to bend a little to please you at this point in your relationship, what's it gonna be like later on? You just might want to give this some really serious thought! Just my two cents!

[joetrizeo]

"Once every four years..." -sounds like something i would say about shoe shopping! Is he an engineer too?

 

anyways cruising is not for everyone! It is a very different way as you know to spend your vacation.

 

you just happened to attract someone who is turned off my cruising and hey, opposites attract right...!

 

g/l

[Jacquelyn11]

As long as he is the trusting type and not the jealous type. My dad was that way with my mom....He would not "let her" go anywhere without him. And if she did, he made life miserable for her.

 

Definately iron this out prior to the wedding. My DH and I take seperate vacations with our kids....He likes skiing and I don't, I'm more of a beach person.

 

;) But we BOTH love crusing!! ;)

 

Jacquelyn :D

[mrdood]

Take him up to the funnel deck and spend a couple of quality days up there, you will convert him...

[aggieastrosfan]

Okay, I could've written this exact same thing myself, only it's my DH who isn't too keen on cruising. I, too, like to gamble, drink, dance, and work on my tan. DH would be happy at an AI for a week doing nothing but lying on the beach!! I've taken one cruise without him (took my mom), and am taking another in January without him. He's not crazy about it, but he knows how much I want to go, so he agreed to let me go as my Christmas/birthday present.

 

When you move to Houston, look me up. We can cruise together and leave the husbands at home!! :D

[derf5585]

Here is my story

 

When I was in the Navy I told myself I wanted to cruise someday. About 40 years later I talked Derfette into a seven day cruise to Bermuda. Well she was hooked being the outgoing person she is. She is now more interested in cruising that I am. If it were not for CruiseCritic I wouldn't cruise or is it if I weren't on CruiseCritic would I still be posting. It's a vicious circle. I am trapped.

[hubofhockey]

I do agree with your fiance about that DR all inclusive. If you're not going to do a cruise, do something totally different. There are great reasons for not cruising. The best reason is that you like going out to eat to different places and trying different types of food. There is nothing wrong with cruise ship food. But for some of us, it does not match up with the charm and culture of enjoying a nice quiet dinner with food native to an island or country. There's something to be said for variety. A cruise every four years doesn't seem like such a bad deal. It's not as if your fiance doesn't want to take vacations. When you get married, you should do things that you both enjoy doing.

[truecruiser]

Ugh.... I went on a cruise with my then boyfriend (now fiance) in February, and we had a great time aboard the Liberty. Although I had a lot more fun because I am a cruise freak. Well, the fiance doesn't like to gamble, and doesn't drink a whole lot, and isn't too keen on crowds. . .

 

So, we had a discussion the other day and he said we can do one cruise every 4 years.....WHAT??????!!!

 

 

It may work out just fine. My husband (who loves to cruise, thank god), hates Disney (with a passion). Everytime we used to book he'd become miserable. We went for the kids (i like it, too), but being with him on vacation there was like hell. I finally figured out that what he really hated was all of the non-stop running required at Disney World. Soon after realizing this, I began to book a day in between each park where we'd just hang out, relax, enjoy the beverages at the Tiki Bar and head out at night. BIG DIFFERENCE this made. So, maybe if you figure out what it is that he hates about cruising, and try to tweak it a bit, he'll warm up to it. Maybe doing some of the other things on the ship besides the Casino will do it by itself. I used to subscribe to the notion that when it comes to cruising, you'll either love it or you'll hate it -- there really is no in-between. But, I am not sure I believe this anymore. Have Faith. Living so close to a Port will enable you to take advantage of last minute sales at an even greater savings. Gather a couple of friends for your next cruise. Maybe that'll help him see things differently. Best of Luck. And, Congratulations to you on your upcoming marriage.:)

[truecruiser]

sorry

[sharonella]

Maybe you need to find friends who will cruise with BOTH of you. My BF & I are very lucky - we have always cruised with a group of people. If my BF wants to do something I don't & vice versa, there's usually someone else in the group to do it with, if we didn't want to do it alone or with each other.

 

Now, after 3 cruises, if we cruised "alone", just with each other, I'm sure we'd still be fine. I like sitting on a quiet deck on sea days with a book, & going to karaoke. He likes poking into every nook & cranny of the ship & the late night comedians, plus he doesn't drink - at all. We both like late dinner & seeing the big shows, as well as spending a little time in the casino (I do nickel slots - he does roulette). Neither of us cares so much for the daytime Lido deck activities (hairy chest contest, shipboard survivor).

 

On a cruise, because it's self-contained, neither of us mind so much being on our own for hours at a time - but we always know what time & where we'll hook up next - we don't leave the other person "hanging". But on a land based vaca, my BF & I are usually "joined at the hip", especially if it's someplace we've never been before. And that requires compromise with what we'll be doing together with our time.

 

You sound like a person who has no problem going off & doing what you want by yourself, at least on board ship. Your fiance, on the other hand, sounds like he wants to be with you most of the time when you're on vaca. Back to my first suggestion - find another couple or two - or even family members you get along great with - and have them cruise with you BOTH. Having other people around will take the pressure off you having to spend every minute with your fiance & you both can have a great time! You might also want to try more port-intensive cruises, with lots of excursions, if he really just doesn't like the shipboard activities so much. (I love sea days!)

 

But, like others have said, cruising is just not for everyone. (It's hard to believe, but it's true!) My sister cruises with us "alone", because her husband won't get on a plane or a ship. He's fine with it, not jealous at all. Also he only get 2 weeks vaca, which she spends with him & she can get more time off than he does. (She works on commission, so she can plan her time off differently, since it's "unpaid" vacation.)

 

Good luck & hope you can work it all out!

 

Sha

[truecruiser]

Double Post. Sorry:(

[normandes]

Well.... I have a suggestion .. of course you must understand i have two teenage daughters at home that keep us very busy with their schedules.. but I offer more and creavtive adult time in our cabin.

We live close to port in glaveston/houston so we cruise the 4 nighters at least two times a year. Men are sooo funny!!

[notmartha]

I guess it will be difficult to find someone who doesn't like to cruise browsing a cruise critic board, but cruising is't for everyone. Sometimes it's the iterinary, sometimes it's the cruise line, sometimes it's the lack of choices or food or entertainment that puts people off.

 

So I guess if the person is adverse because they don't want to get stuck with 3000 people, especially on their honeymoon, I can certainly understand that. Try a smaller ship to see if it makes any difference, or try a different cruise line that offers other entertainment besides gambling and dancing.

 

We were avid cruisers, but I have to say our past Med cruise with Carnival Liberty soured us some on cruising, to the point that hubbie doesn't really want to cruise anymore, even when we have credits with several cruise lines.

 

Cruises aren't the only option if you want gambling and dancing either. It's just a more relax way of reaching your destination and not have to make many choices about what to do/what to eat/where to go.

[MikeM711]

Dump him. Take me. We'll go twice a year.

[GoinCruisin]

Yeah, that does suck. I know what I would do :p LOL!!!

 

Seriously, I would talk to him about a compromise... tell him that every other year you cruise, and on the other years he can choose the vacation.. that is better than every 4 years. Maybe he'll come around eventually!

[KruznKel]

Do what I did.. took our 1st cruise.. the SO enjoyed himself but wasn't so thrilled about cruising again.. until we booked with the SS group here on CC.. he said this was the best and can't wait to go again..:D

 

Being on a ship not knowing anyone with similar interests can make it boring.. with a group you are bound to find somebody that you can talk with.. and maybe have the same interests:)

 

Just my 2 cents!!

 

Good Luck with him;)