This Sucks, my fiance doesn't like cruises very much

[veryhotred]

Now I have only taken one cruise and everything about it was great but...I am not going to take one cruise a year or make that my only vacation. But then I cannot take a lot of vacations..lol..I guess if I could then yes, I would take once a year cruises! I intended to say that I wouldn't want to cruise that often either and that I can understand how he feels but now I don't..lol..If I lived near a port I would go as often as I could!!!! Good luck getting him to go..wow I wanna go now! :D

[Lightsluvr]

Or for that matter, what would Dr. Laura say?

 

Sounds like a controlling kind of guy... :cool:

 

But what do I know? I've been married for 25 years, and learned the two magic words that make a marraige work... "Yes, dear!" :D

 

LL

[AlohaPride]

Or for that matter, what would Dr. Laura say?

 

Sounds like a controlling kind of guy... :cool:

 

But what do I know? I've been married for 25 years, and learned the two magic words that make a marraige work... "Yes, dear!" :D

 

LL

 

I thought about what Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura would say, and I have to agree with what you said...except for the "Yes, dear!" part.

 

When I read the OP's problem I couldn't help but wonder what other aspects of her life she will have to either 1) drop or 2) do alone later in life. When DH and I were engaged we spent a LOT of time talking about these things: vacations, where we will live, finances, children, banking...all the nitty gritty stuff that causes the most arguments AFTER the wedding. While we have only been married 2 years, I feel as though all the talking/planning we did before we were married has helped us a LOT! I would never feel comfortable spending so much money for myself to go on a vacation without my DH.

 

Please don't misinterpret this post to mean that I think the OP should split up. All I am trying to say is that these are the things to discuss BEFORE marriage - not after. Even if the discussions are not fun.

[232271]

I thought about what Dr. Phil and Dr. Laura would say, and I have to agree with what you said...except for the "Yes, dear!" part.

 

When I read the OP's problem I couldn't help but wonder what other aspects of her life she will have to either 1) drop or 2) do alone later in life. When DH and I were engaged we spent a LOT of time talking about these things: vacations, where we will live, finances, children, banking...all the nitty gritty stuff that causes the most arguments AFTER the wedding. While we have only been married 2 years, I feel as though all the talking/planning we did before we were married has helped us a LOT! I would never feel comfortable spending so much money for myself to go on a vacation without my DH.

 

Please don't misinterpret this post to mean that I think the OP should split up. All I am trying to say is that these are the things to discuss BEFORE marriage - not after. Even if the discussions are not fun.

 

i totally agree, we didnt discuss what we wanted to do on vacations ever before getting married, it took a good 10 years to finally come to a compromise, sit down and talk with him about this and anything else that requires planning, ie. kids, houses, cars, even what he likes for holiday's, there are so many issues I wish we had worked out BEFORE we said I DO. NOw, there are alot of I dont's around here! not that we are not happy....i love him dearly and we are celebrating 15 years on the Conquest this month!!

[KruznKel]

compromise

 

The secret to any successful relationship is this word mentioned above whether married, common law, dating or what not;)

 

I hope he comes around for ya :)

[DqALEX]

Ugh.... I went on a cruise with my then boyfriend (now fiance) in February, and we had a great time aboard the Liberty. Although I had a lot more fun because I am a cruise freak. Well, the fiance doesn't like to gamble, and doesn't drink a whole lot, and isn't too keen on crowds.

 

I on the other hand love to gamble and spend quite a bit of time in the casino, enjoy cocktails, and love the whole ambiance of a cruise.

 

So, out of respect for him, I decided to not make him go on a cruise for our honeymoon (he said he doesn't want to spend his honeymoon with 3,000 other people) even though my dream honeymoon would either be a Carnival cruise in the Mediterranean or the Panama Canal.

 

We did decide on an All inclusive resort in the Dominican Republic, which he says I picked because it's like a cruise without the ship.

 

So, we had a discussion the other day and he said we can do one cruise every 4 years.....WHAT??????!!!

 

I told him that I want to do at least one per year. We are looking to move to Houston, and there is a port right there, so of course we would have to do at least one a year since we won't have to pay for airfare.

 

I guess I will just have to cruise without him. I'll have to find some cruise friends who also have party pooper husbands.

 

I just don't get it, how can anyone not like cruising? It's not enough of a reason not to marry the guy, but that really stinks!

My wife dosn't like to cruise as much as I do. One a year is good for her. So now I started to do somthing different. I just take the kids now when I get the urge to cruise. Problem solved.

[DarkJedi]

Ugh.... I went on a cruise with my then boyfriend (now fiance) in February, and we had a great time aboard the Liberty. Although I had a lot more fun because I am a cruise freak. Well, the fiance doesn't like to gamble, and doesn't drink a whole lot, and isn't too keen on crowds.

 

I guess I will just have to cruise without him. I'll have to find some cruise friends who also have party pooper husbands.

I can understand his reasoning. I don't gamble any more (lived near Vegas for too long), I don't drink, and I'm not a big fan of crowds.

 

But there are a lot of things that you can do on a cruise or in port. Consider his hobbies, what ports might interest him? He doesn't like crowds? Hang out on the funnel deck or get balcony rooms to share quality time together.

 

Ships are really BIG places when you get right down to it. Most people congregate in small spots because they want to be with other people, and yet I can spend hours sitting on the promenade just watching the people go by, without once ever feeling crowded because they really aren't that close. Or I can find some nice quite out of he way spot to enjoy the wind an the ocean.

 

 

And if all else fails head over to the Theme Cruise section and see if anything catches your eye, if he doesn't like it travel without him. Either get a group of friends to go or look for a group with similar interests already going and join them.

[Tightlinerods]

What do you two do now for fun???

 

John

[Quilting_Cruiser]

I can relate! DH doesn't care for cruising--I love it! I agree with the other posters who said compromise is the key.

 

After our last cruise, DH and I agreed that we would trade off choosing vacations each year. So, we'll be cruising every other year from now on. Though I'd love to go more frequently I can live with that compromise. He did say he will cruise with me for the rest of our lives because he enjoys that I have so much fun. :D:D But, he needs to enjoy our vacations as well. So, we'll be land lubbers every other year.;)

[TCF]

There have been two very good points made here.

The first one...which is none of anyone's business and has nothing to do with cruising, but is nonetheless perhaps the most important of the two...cruising may not be the only issue upon which you do not agree and you better know that before "I do" is said by anyone!:eek:

Second...I don't drink alcohol at all...I don't like crowds of people...I don't spend more than $20 per cruise gambling..(takes about 10 minutes on the first day!:rolleyes: )...not big on loud bands and dancing. Love to cruise!:D

Wife does what she wants...I do what I want...we choose the excursions together and so far have not had any battles over which ones to take. We get a Cat 11 cabin..lots of room...quiet...get away from the madding crowds.

For the record we have been married for four years so it's not like we are joined at the DNA!:D

Work it out now....and don't give up what you are for anyone...man or woman!

Just my thoughts

Tom:)

[Littlegoo75]

Wow! I came back to the boards today, and look at all of the responses!

 

It's strange, my sister doesn't really like cruising either, so she is OUT. What is wrong with these people???! As for my friends, I have moved around quite a bit, and my friends are spread out all over the place, and it's so hard to arrange a girl's cruise.

 

I think what the issue was is that on the last cruise, Jim wanted to spend a lot more time with me, and I probably spent more time at the casino than he expected.

 

He did have a good time, he just didn't like it as much as I did, and doesn't understand why I am so obsessed with cruising.

 

I know he had a great time on the shore excursions, we swam with the stingrays and with dolphins on this one. I think his major beef was that we didn't get to spend enough time at the ports of call.

 

What he did like was the good food, the shows, getting to visit different islands, going to the gym, people watching, and he really liked the cruise director (John Heald).

 

What he didn't like: me in the casino so much, rude people (there were quite a few on this one) the long lines in the buffet, too little time on land.

 

I have come to the conclusion that each of us gets to pick a vacation every other year. One year, I pick, and I am sure that I will pick a cruise. The next year he picks, and I will have to do whatever he wants to do. Sounds pretty fair to me. Then once we have kids, I guess we will have to take a few years off from cruising. I will not take the kids on a cruise until they are old enough to get something out of it, and old enough to behave, also, I will not leave them behind for a week (or more) until they are old enough to be without Mom.

 

On a side note, I was married before, and he LOVED cruising as much as I did. Although, he turned out to be a cheating jerk. I would rather marry a good, faithful guy that might not like cruising as much as me, than one that likes cruising, but isn't a good person.

[Tightlinerods]

You just answered your own question and did not know it..

 

All your girlfriends live in different areas, use a cruise to get the girls together since they all live in different parts of the states what could be better than a reunion cruise.

 

 

John

[chasekenslee]

Just my .02! Take a cruise with other couples. My DH and I both love cruising, but DH had a friend that went on a cruise with just him & his wife. He thought it was just ok. They never went to the dining room, never went to the clubs. Just sat around the pool, ate at the buffet, and went to bed. BORING!! We convinced the friend and wife to go with us on a cruise. They LOVED it!! We did everything and had a blast. They ate in the dining room every night, both guys even got all dressed up for formal night and took pictures with us girls :D The friend just thought that having other people around that he knew made all the difference to him. The friend and wife were the first to call us about which cruise for next year:rolleyes: . Just another idea for you! Good luck

[cathyoo]

It's strange, my sister doesn't really like cruising either, so she is OUT. What is wrong with these people???! As for my friends, I have moved around quite a bit, and my friends are spread out all over the place, and it's so hard to arrange a girl's cruise. .

Maybe you could arrange a cruise critic girls only cruise. Since you will be in Houston you might be able to do this at a reasonable cost.

 

I think what the issue was is that on the last cruise, Jim wanted to spend a lot more time with me, and I probably spent more time at the casino than he expected.

 

 

What he didn't like: me in the casino so much, rude people (there were quite a few on this one) the long lines in the buffet, too little time on land. .

I guess we were lucky on the Caribbean Cruisers cruise, we didn't run into any rude folks. We did end up eating breakfast and lunch in the dining room to avoid the long lines and cold food and probably ended up avoiding the rude people.

 

Maybe a compromise would be you would spend more time with him, less in the casino and maybe try the dining room for more meals. You might also want to check out ports with longer stay times. Than maybe when it his year to pick, he'll pick a cruise.

 

BTW -Congratulations on your engagement. My DH and I never talked about anything before we married. The only thing I knew about him was he wanted children and he made me feel like I was a love goddess. We've been married 38 years, the kids are grown and almost all gone but he still makes me feel like a love goddess even thought the years have not been kind to me. I totally agree with you, cruising is a minor issue when it comes to finding someone who can love you right.

[Sashalanda]

After 30 yrs of marriage, my DH and I are still perfectly content to be with each other. Before kids we took opposite vacations to see our close family members as the time "from" each other did us well lol. We are total opposites in personalities but..our first cruise was uh ok but this last one was fantastic. He probably never would of booked the second one but since I became ill, the dear soul will do anything that puts a smile on my face. It was good thing I wanted a cruise...now we both know we love it now we know what we are doing thanks to this forum lol. Our next one is taking our sons age 13 and 18. Am sure we will love it even more with them. My husband won't leave me side even though I knew staff would help me if needed (am disabled now) but he just wouldn't. Same with shore excursions. I felt guilty going to the beach cause I knew he would enjoy the more vigorous excursions..he poo pood it though. He said he could never enjoy one without me. Now with sons going, one likes beach..other son likes as wild time as he can get at 13 lol. DH would feel perfectly safe leaving me in the hands of my over protective 18yr old to go on adventure with younger one. Not many of my family, well none really , can afford a cruise or even a land vacation..my friends don't want to try a cruise :( ..bunch of bores lol. I say plan an exquisite cruise if only going once every two years though hehe. Gives you more time to pay for a more elaborate one :D

[voyagerfl]

Or for that matter, what would Dr. Laura say?

 

Sounds like a controlling kind of guy... :cool:

 

But what do I know? I've been married for 25 years, and learned the two magic words that make a marraige work... "Yes, dear!" :D

 

LL

 

Ahh, but that works both ways....you could say the same "if" a wife insisted on a cruise every year (altough it sounds reasonable to us)

As long as he is Ok with it she may have to cruise with a friend or a group.

And over time he may grow to enjoy cruising more than every 4 years. There are a lot of other land vacations out there you can't get to by ship (Darn it)

[VentureMan_2000]

Well, the fiance doesn't like to gamble, and doesn't drink a whole lot, and isn't too keen on crowds.

 

I on the other hand love to gamble and spend quite a bit of time in the casino, enjoy cocktails, and love the whole ambiance of a cruise.

 

It's not enough of a reason not to marry the guy, but that really stinks!

 

 

Cruising aside, do you think this will pose a problem is the future regarding other activities...?

[jakesplace]

So, we had a discussion the other day and he said we can do one cruise every 4 years.....WHAT??????!!!

 

 

My suggestion is...Tell Him If you only get to crusie once every four years, He gets to something else once every four years...LOL:rolleyes:

[CVL105]

My suggestion is...Tell Him If you only get to crusie once every four years, He gets to something else once every four years...LOL:rolleyes:

 

hahahahaha

 

That has got to work!

 

Like men could go without for 4 years! lol:p

[yarlenna]

There are lots of ships and one may be better for your sweetie. You may find the smaller ships may help, but they would be much $$$. I would try Windstar. They have a few pax, and they spend most (if not all) days in port. If not, you will have lots of fun finding a vacations you can BOTH enoy

[adaleyldaley]

Get a new one.

[Verystormy]

My DW isnt keen on cruising either, and lets all be honest, there are are down sides to cruising, such as you cant really get to experience the culture of a place in the few hours that you have at each port. Mt advice would be to look for smaller ships that may be more expensive but give a different experience. I think the advice on Windstar is good. If you want somewhere really special / romantic try the Maldives or Thailand (we stayed at in Hua Hin last year and perfect for honeymoon http://www.anantara.com)