Chair Hogs - Wall Street Journal

[OceanLiner]

We had quite a thread about this topic some time ago, and I have copied my message as printed below. The only thing that I would add is that those who have decided to hog chairs in groups also tend to use cell phones and walkie talkies to scream shrill messages at each other: there are extra pancakes at the lido, fried shrimp just came up, I have a scoop of vanilla ice cream, etc........it's all just a reflection of a very distinct lack of consideration and manners. Here is my previous post:

 

I have never taken it upon myself to simply remove the "hog markers" and put them to the side, but I have been involved in another scheme on a ship that will remain Magically nameless.

 

After several days of a very loud and vocal family screaming that a group of eight relatively unused chairs belonged to them it was time for action. While they were not paying attention all the chairs were shifted to the left by one chair. They still had the same number of chairs, just slightly moved to the left. Latter on, another move to the left. Then back to the right, then maybe to the left, but never so much as to be really noticable. Everyone in the area cooperated and no one ever let on as to what was happening.

 

This family was confused. Things just were not right but they really could never figure out why. Sometimes they would just stand there like deer in the headlights and stare at the chairs. They had an all day deja vue type of experience and they never realized what had happened because they were so dogged determined that these chairs belonged to them that all of their other senses were void.

 

I REALLY like all the crazy thing that people do on cruises, and chair hogs have to be close to the top of the list. BTW, Chair Hogs also seem to appear for show seating.

[hammybee]

[ I REALLY like all the crazy thing that people do on cruises, and chair hogs have to be close to the top of the list. BTW, Chair Hogs also seem to appear for show seating.[/i]

 

I love your approach and admire your restraint :)

[Copper10-8]

This is the sign on the Veendam:

 

Cool beans! Once again, the rules are posted - play by them! 30 minutes is more than reasonable to get your "stuff" (whatever that may be) done! No return after 30 minutes, the green light comes on and that precious chair reverts back to being "available". Any chair "reserved" items will be deposited at the edge of the pool for public auction later that day. If the reservee has any problems with this arrangement upon his/her return from doing their "stuff", go see the complaint department on Deck -1 and/or get in line to be keelhauled. There is something called "common courtesy"

There are a limited amount of chairs available and there are many, many more pax than chairs on a ship. It is unreasonable as well as selfish to expect to make a chair your own for the entire day as I've seen some "fine" folks do/expect. I have no patience for people who play those silly games! If you want a chair for the whole day, schlep your own with you from home sweet home:rolleyes:

[ldog]

We've just returned from a shore vacation at a Sandals resort in St Lucia.

 

You haven't seen any serious chair hogging until then. We overlooked the pool area and saw people getting up at 6 am to put towels and books on chairs. They'd then go back to bed, I presume, and show up to claim their chairs around 11. Nobody did anything about it. We did, however, see people moving their umbrellas to other chairs.

 

Didn't bother us as we don't need to sit right at poolside all day anyway.

[cindilouwho]

:o Yes People, I am a Chair Hog. I say it proudly and with dignity. I lurk on the message boards and read what you say about me and feel low, but still, on my next cruise, there I am - up at the crack of dawn book, bag, lotions, water botlles and towels. Before you pass judgement on me - please listen to my story.....

 

I have gotten up before dawn (Carnival Liberty 5:30am) to get the seat that I scope out perfectly according to long/lat and location/direction of the ship the night before with the assistance of a crew member. I usually have to take down the chair and untie them as well to get them at that hour. I am not alone, others have beaten me to the pile. I set up the chair impeccably - and head off to get my breakfast. I bring it back to the chair and eat as the sun rises. I then head off for my 2 mile walk around deck or on the treadmill....coming back within the hour to sit and relax with a cup of coffee. I may leave to get snacks, walk around a bit or visit the pool - sometimes I may sit in the pool for a while. I get lunch and eat at the chair. I wander every so often and then return. I dance to the music - which requires me to rise from the chair or sometimes longer than 30 minutes.....by 5:00 I am a beautiful golden brown and ready to head inside or sit by the bar with all my newfound friends that I have made while looking after many peoples' property while they grab something to eat, drink or use the facilities. I take only one chair - whoever I travel with is responsible for his/her own chair. I always share my chair with neighbours kids, transient mates, etc.

 

I disclose to those of you really interested in finding a chair if a chair has truly been unoccupied for a great length of time - exceeding good manners - and help in removing items. To those of you "watchers" out there, please remember - some of us "Chair Hogs" do spend most of our time in the chair and if we have taken a little more than 30 minutes out of our chair we may just be hot and in the pool for a little while or in the line for food longer than we expected.

 

Please remember - "Chair Hogs" are people too and if all those celebrities can be forgiven their transgressions because they entered rehab - then someone please direct me to the nearest facility for CH addiction.

 

Thank you for your understanding and have a great cruise! :p :rolleyes: ;)

[Copper10-8]

:o Yes People, I am a Chair Hog. I say it proudly and with dignity. I lurk on the message boards and read what you say about me and feel low, but still, on my next cruise, there I am - up at the crack of dawn book, bag, lotions, water botlles and towels. Before you pass judgement on me - please listen to my story.....

 

I have gotten up before dawn (Carnival Liberty 5:30am) to get the seat that I scope out perfectly according to long/lat and location/direction of the ship the night before with the assistance of a crew member. I usually have to take down the chair and untie them as well to get them at that hour. I am not alone, others have beaten me to the pile. I set up the chair impeccably - and head off to get my breakfast. I bring it back to the chair and eat as the sun rises. I then head off for my 2 mile walk around deck or on the treadmill....coming back within the hour to sit and relax with a cup of coffee. I may leave to get snacks, walk around a bit or visit the pool - sometimes I may sit in the pool for a while. I get lunch and eat at the chair. I wander every so often and then return. I dance to the music - which requires me to rise from the chair or sometimes longer than 30 minutes.....by 5:00 I am a beautiful golden brown and ready to head inside or sit by the bar with all my newfound friends that I have made while looking after many peoples' property while they grab something to eat, drink or use the facilities. I take only one chair - whoever I travel with is responsible for his/her own chair. I always share my chair with neighbours kids, transient mates, etc.

 

I disclose to those of you really interested in finding a chair if a chair has truly been unoccupied for a great length of time - exceeding good manners - and help in removing items. To those of you "watchers" out there, please remember - some of us "Chair Hogs" do spend most of our time in the chair and if we have taken a little more than 30 minutes out of our chair we may just be hot and in the pool for a little while or in the line for food longer than we expected.

 

Please remember - "Chair Hogs" are people too and if all those celebrities can be forgiven their transgressions because they entered rehab - then someone please direct me to the nearest facility for CH addiction.

 

Thank you for your understanding and have a great cruise! :p :rolleyes: ;)

 

I hope you're good at holding your breath

'cause the keel hauling shall commence immediately upon your return to the seas;)

[Orcrone]

What if I have an oversized backside? Do I get that chair-and-a-half specified in the article? :rolleyes:

In addition to its single cruiser supplement for those staying one to a cabin Holland America has just announced its double cruiser deck chair supplemdnt for those requiring more than one chair.

[hammybee]

[quote=cindilouwho;

 

Please remember - "Chair Hogs" are people too and if all those celebrities can be forgiven their transgressions because they entered rehab - then someone please direct me to the nearest facility for CH addiction.

 

Thank you for your understanding and have a great cruise! :p :rolleyes: ;)

 

First you need to shave your head......

[SmokinActuary]

:o Yes People, I am a Chair Hog. I say it proudly and with dignity. I lurk on the message boards and read what you say about me and feel low, but still, on my next cruise, there I am - up at the crack of dawn book, bag, lotions, water botlles and towels.

 

That was your suntan lotion and towels? Thanks for saving me from shlepping that stuff from my cabin. :D

[TTFromSommersTown]

Cindilouwho, you are not a Chair Hog, you are a Chair User and I would never have a problem with that.

 

The definition that I always use is "If I get up at 9am and the chairs are empty with towels on them, I go to breakfast and when I get back they are still undisturbed, then there are most likely Chair Hogs about".

 

One time when I was on holiday in Spain there were a lot of Chair Hogs about and not too many chairs. A group of young Brits, when they came in at about 3am from a night out on the town simply bedded down in the best located deck chairs and slept until late morning. After a couple of nights of this, the Hogs gave up and stopped trying to claim all the chairs.

[cindilouwho]

First you need to shave your head......

 

DONE :eek:

[Copper10-8]

DONE :eek:

 

Then you need to go check yourself into the Cyndi Lauper Clinic for Chair Hogs in Rancho Mirage/ They do severe counceling there. It won't be pretty but studies have shown that 41.5 % of their clients after graduating won't touch a deck chair for life!