Getting Married in Massachusetts

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Does anyone have any information on what is involved in getting married in Massachusetts while visiting on a cruise ship?

 

My partner of 32 years and I will be in Boston for a day in September during our cruise to New England and Canada on the Grandeur of the Seas. We are residents of Maryland.

 

Is it leagally possible for a gay couple from out of state to get married in Massachusetts? If so, are there any blood test or other restrictions that could not be accomplished during an 8 or 10 hour stop over?

 

Thanks for any help anyone can give.

[Cornus]

You might find some helpful info here: http://www.glad.org/marriage/marriage_toolkit.shtml

[ChesaPBay]

Does anyone have any information on what is involved in getting married in Massachusetts while visiting on a cruise ship?

 

My partner of 32 years and I will be in Boston for a day in September during our cruise to New England and Canada on the Grandeur of the Seas. We are residents of Maryland.

 

Is it leagally possible for a gay couple from out of state to get married in Massachusetts? If so, are there any blood test or other restrictions that could not be accomplished during an 8 or 10 hour stop over?

 

Thanks for any help anyone can give.

 

Hi Adam:

 

Can't believe you're just up the road in G'burg. I work in Rockville and live in Columbia.

 

Although I am not an expert on this subject, the marriage won't be legal in MD. I believe Massachusetts allows folks from certain states -- those where there is not a specific law banning it -- to get married there.

 

In 2004, when Mass made marriage legal my partner and I were planning to go to Provincetown (one of our most favorite spots) and get married. But at that time, only people in Mass could marry. Things have changed since then, which is why I'm hesitant to pass on much info.

 

As you know I'm sure, any day we could be hearing the MD Supreme Court's ruling on the subject. We -- who have been together 21 years -- are waiting until it's legal in MD. I have been hoping this will happen very soon so that we might have a ceremony on our cruise next February.

 

Anyway, good luck and congratulations on your 32 years!

[skf]

I'm from next door New Hampshire so I have some details. You can get married in Mass but not if your home state prohibits it, sorry to say. This is still on the books from when inter-racial marriages were illegal in some states. If your home state says ok, then you're good to go! Pete & I are waiting for the Governor to sign our own civil union bill into law any day now. Best wishes, Steve & Pete

[Schplinky]

Come on up to Canada to get married. It will be as legal in your home state as if you had been married in MA and we'll treat you very kindly.

[CoolBlueWater]

Hi Adam:

 

Can't believe you're just up the road in G'burg. I work in Rockville and live in Columbia.

 

Although I am not an expert on this subject, the marriage won't be legal in MD. I believe Massachusetts allows folks from certain states -- those where there is not a specific law banning it -- to get married there.

 

As you know I'm sure, any day we could be hearing the MD Supreme Court's ruling on the subject. We -- who have been together 21 years -- are waiting until it's legal in MD. I have been hoping this will happen very soon so that we might have a ceremony on our cruise next February.

 

Hi Adam & ChesaPBay!

My partner and I also live in Columbia, MD and just celebrated 20 years together. MD is getting close, but it's a tough battle here. Equality Maryland & Dan Furmansky are putting up a great fight with support from the community, but we've been to Annapolis to testify as a couple and it's a terrifying experience. The fear and hate from some is something to witness. We have thought of going to MA or Canada to make it official, but (as you mention) it would have no legal bearing yet here. In any case, we are avid cruisers. Great to know of other couples in the area. Would be great to meet up for drinks or dinner & talk ships! :) Is there a way to exchage private messages here so we do not have to post our email addresses for the world to see?

 

Best,

Bob & Craig

[02143]

Here's a thorough link that's on the page that crab up above recommended:

 

http://www.glad.org/marriage/howtogetmarried.html

 

When marriage was legalized, a few cities and towns in the state decided to ignore the residency law and issue licenses to marry out-of-state couples. They may still be doing so; in the Boston area, they include Cambridge and Somerville, but NOT Boston. Cambridge city hall is at the Central stop on the Red Line and is easily accessible, but I think they got sued and stopped with the licenses. Somerville flew under the radar and issued them quietly, however, city hall is slightly more difficult to get to from the T and not as pretty as Cambridge. If you decide to pursue this, see if Cambridge is issuing licenses. If you're lucky, the 1913 law will have been repealed by September, but it's not certain to happen.

 

You do need a blood test. Perhaps it can be done in Maryland and you can bring the results with you.

 

Ordinarily there is a 3-day waiting period after the license is issued before the wedding can happen, but they will waive that if you're crunched for time. Find out what's involved with that.

 

Any JP can marry you, but a nice touch would be to have a friend apply to be JP for a day ($25) and perform the ceremony himself. We had a friend from Missouri marry us so the person does not have to be a Massachusetts resident. You will need someone to testify to his character who is neither one of you; in our case, his wife wrote the letter.

 

May I make one suggestion... a marriage can be a beautiful ceremony, even if the law hasn't fully caught up, and I'm glad you two are considering it. However, I think you will find you will spend more of the day than you'd like, and days leading up the ceremony, in municipal offices trying to get paperwork in order to get your license and have it expedited. It can be done, but it may not be what you have in mind for a one-day off-the-cuff wedding. May I suggest considering coming back up here for a long weekend when you have the time to gather a small group of friends and aren't worried about getting back on the ship on time or the consequences of a random bureaucrat's decision to move slowly?

[ChesaPBay]

Wow...it really is a small world. Sure, we'd love to get together and talk ships. It looks like you have been on many of them and have lots of experience.

 

Our passion is traveling, which we do as often as possible. We've just a a renewed interest in cruises and will probably do more of them in the future. But we do lots of other trips as well. Next month we are going to Hawaii, for example.

 

Would love to meet. We'll have to find a way to exchange email addresses without being public about it.

 

Also, thanks for the update on the Maryland marriage situation. I have just learned that some folks in the know say the decision could be made in the next month or so. Do you know anything about that?

 

And yes, I realize there is a lot of hatred out there, even in the liberal state of MD. Hard for me to accept, but it's there. After all, there's a lot more to the state than Montgomery and PG counties and Baltimore City. But luckily, there are more of us than them! And we have a governor now who won't veto bills our legislature passes.

 

I'm an optimist who truly believes in the power of being positive.

[AdamOfCanaveral]

I don't know where to start - I can't believe all the responses already.

 

First, Bob, Craig and ChesaPBay - If you click on my user name and then on "View Profile", at the top of the page is a button - "Download vCard". It's not real big and it's easy to miss. If you click on it, it will give you my email address. If both of you couples email me I'll share the email addresses among the 6 of us.

 

Thanks Cornus and 02143 for sending the links for more information. We'll take time this weekend to explore both sites.

 

Schplinky - Thanks for the suggestion to come to Canada to get married. Actually, this same cruise makes stops in Saint John, New Brunswick and Halifax, Nova Scotia, so that could be a possibility.

 

Steve and Pete - Thanks for responding too.

 

I realize that any marriage will not be recognized by Maryland. The reason we are thinking about it is that my partner's, Bob's, employer offers benefits to domestic partners, but they require legal documentation that the couple is really in a commited relationship and a marriage certificate is one form of proof that they accept.

 

I'm kind of leaning toward the good advice offered by 02143 who suggested we not try to squeeze such a special occassion into a one-day port stop, but rather make a separete trip to Massachusetts (or Canada) and spend several days to have a relaxed ceremony and celebration.

 

Bob, Craig amd ChesaPBay - I hope you will access my email address and send Bob and me an email. We actually are already part of a group of three couples who get together every month or two for dinner and discuss cruising. (We originally met here on CruiseCritic a couple of yers ago.) The one couple (who live in DC) are retired and cruise 4 or more times a year. Bob and I are not retired yet, but getting close, and are looking forward to the day when we have more time for cruising. And the third couple (who live in Germantown) are in their mid-20s and have been together for 4 or 5 years. They manage to cruise at least twice a year. So maybe we can work it out for the 10 of us to get together. Send me an email and let's talk about it.

 

Thanks again for all of the responses. Looking forward to meeting up on a cruise one of these days.

[Wyldboy72]

Hi guys-

 

Small world! I'm in Clarksburg, which is just up the road from Gaithersburg too!

 

Jeff

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Welcome to the thread.

 

Do you work in Montgomery County or in DC?

 

I envy your planned RSVP cruise to Alaska - it combines two things I've been wanting to do - take a cruise to Alaska and take an RSVP cruise.

[CoolBlueWater]

If both of you couples email me I'll share the email addresses among the 6 of us....

 

......Bob's, employer offers benefits to domestic partners, but they require legal documentation that the couple is really in a commited relationship and a marriage certificate is one form of proof that they accept.

 

 

Hey Adam! Just emailed you my email address, please feel free to forward to the group. We would love to meet everyone!

 

32 years!! Fantastic! ChesapBay 21 years! Wow! Congrats all around!

 

Many years ago Craig & I filed "Domestic Partnership" papers in San Francisco, using a lease with both names and/or utilities or bank account information that shows such a partnership. You don't have to live in San Fran to do this. Craig is with a major airline and in order for me to qualify for Domestic Partner benefits, the SFO Domestic Partnership documentation was sufficient. We did this over 15-16 years ago, so don't know what procedure is today. That may help you in the short term regarding your partner's company requirements!

 

Isn't it crazy that each of us have been with the same person for over 20 years and we must go through all this (and more) for only a fraction of the basic rights and responsibilities that any hetero couple would have immediately upon getting married!? I am also optimistic for the future...it's just a matter of time.:rolleyes:

 

Best,

Bob

[AdamOfCanaveral]

Many years ago Craig & I filed "Domestic Partnership" papers in San Francisco, using a lease with both names and/or utilities or bank account information that shows such a partnership. You don't have to live in San Fran to do this. Craig is with a major airline and in order for me to qualify for Domestic Partner benefits, the SFO Domestic Partnership documentation was sufficient. We did this over 15-16 years ago, so don't know what procedure is today. That may help you in the short term regarding your partner's company requirements!

 

 

Got your email.

 

Thanks for the info on the San Francisco Dometic Partnership papers. We'll have to look into that.