Infant vacation question

[SuperTrooper00]

My wife and I are planning on leaving our 18 month year old with his grandparents on our vacation. However, we are having a hard time deciding how long is an appropriate amount of time. We are considering doing 10 days. I realize this is highly subjective, but would love your thoughts on this. Thanks.

[ballarinamom]

Have you left your child before? How old are his grandparents? Will you be able to return home easily if there are issues? Does your child know the grandparents very well? I would maybe try a 5 night first and see how it goes. We travelled alone ALOT before our daughter was born. So we wanted to take her on all of our vacations starting at 6 months old to Playa del Carmen and her first cruise at 24 months. We go somewhere every 6 months for atleast 7 nights. Are there reasons to go without your child except for alone time? If that is the only reason, look into a place that has a kid's program so that you can have some alone time but still have a family vacation. If there is another reason, make sure that your child is very comfortable in the situation. Good Luck!!!

[SuperTrooper00]

We are leaving him for four days in two weeks as kind of a 'tester'. The grandparents are in their late fifties. They spend one day with him every week, so he knows them well. The main purpose of not taking him would be to spend some alone time, and to allow my wife an opportunity to take a break from the 24/7 job of motherhood. Also, we have had a number of friends and family members encourage us to take one. Thanks!

[ballarinamom]

I'm a stay at home mommy too. Make sure your wife will be ok away from your child as well. I know I always wish for my alone time but I am ALWAYS the first one in line to pick up my 5 year old at the kid's program. I really miss her! Make sure your wife will have a connector of some sort- phone, web cam, something

[PhoenixCruiser]

Have you thought about posting this on the family cruise board? You might get some help there:

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/forumdisplay.php?f=49

 

Have fun planning :D

 

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[TeacherLaurie]

It's good that grandparents spend a lot of time with your child but just be warned that around 18 months kids naturally go through another period of separation anxiety. This is similar to the stranger anxiety that happens under 1 year old.

[momthecruisedirector]

Personally....very personally speaking....life is too short and your children grow so fast and each stage is so important and exciting I can't imagine going on a vacation without my children. My kids are now 22 and 17 - we never went on vacations without them whether it was camping, doing an over night in a hotel, cruising, land vacation.... It's all your own choice on how you consider your own family dynamics. The kids are healthy, happy, well adjusted boys - young men - and we have been married for 23 years. Just wanted to give you the perspective that a marriage/family survives and is blessed by creating memories together. Parenthood is a 24/7 job - that's just the way it is....it's YOUR family and you'll always second guess yourself, do what feels right for ALL of you.

[SueF]

Since my son was a year old, we have taken a 7-10 day vacation without him once a year. My parents don't live locally, and my inlaws don't normally get a ton of time with my son alone. This week allows them to develop a relationship with their grandchild where he defers to them instead of us and it has made him MUCH closer to his grandparents as a result. Also, it has really helped the anxiety of us taking small weekend trips, as he knows we are coming back. We call in every port and check in, otherwise he is on his own and having a blast with his grandparents. Everyone has fun. Do I miss him? Of course! But he has a right to be spoiled for the week too! :)

[blindrid]

I think you've gota good plan. If it's OK with g-parents, I'd say go for it.

[#1TravelMom]

Here's my 2 cents. The one and only cruise we took along, I was miserable. I spent the whole time noticing all the other tiny children on board. If at all financially possible, I recommend bringing someone along that you trust. The cheapest way to book seems just to book husband and wife in one cabin and adult and child in the second. In exchange for bringing this "helper" along, they take the child as much as you'd like. We took a high school senior from our church(a girl our daughter new well) on an Hawaiian cruise, it was great. She paid half her expense for going and we paid half-everyone hada great time.

[Andee]

I loved vacationing with my kids, but imho an 18 month old can't really enjoy the benefits of a cruise. At that age, my kids did best with a familiar environment and routine--somewhat challenging on a cruise. And sharing a small cabin with a toddler would not have been fun for me.

 

When my first child was 26 months old, and I was newly pregnant with my second, we went on a vacation for a week and left her with very special friends. As a stay at home mom, it was nice to have that break, and she was so excited to be with our friends.

 

As a grandma of a 16 month old, I'd be thrilled to have her with us for 10 days. in fact, next month I'm spending a week with my daughter-in-law and my granddaughter to help break up the 11 weeks my son will be gone for Air Force training.

 

I say go for it!!

[GORDONCHICK]

There are so many variables, and only you will know your child best. The grandparents are at a good age for keeping up with a little one, and as long as their health is strong, that part should be okay.

 

For me personally, I could not have left DS at 18 months, but everyone is different. Heck, I cried when we left him for a weekend (at the age of 4)with my best friend & her family so DH & I could float a national river for a few days. Okay, I didn't cry when we actually left him, but I did the first night we were on the river and there was no cell reception. Granted, I knew there wouldn't be, but the fact that I absolutely couldn't call & talked to him made me weepy. That trip was the first time we both left him. Before that, it was an overnight out of town at a friend's house but DS was with DH. I know it may sound stupid to some, but we just love having our little guy around.

 

Again, only parents can know their child the best, but even then things can wind up differently than past experiences.

[ballarinamom]

I know this is a touchy, very personal decision. But to contradict Andee, my 24 month old has memories of her first cruise and the kids program. She's 5 now. We also have amazing pictures of her having a blast! She has been on two cruises now with another planned for this December. Her only concern was if there will be a kid's program! I agree if you could bring a helper, it is awesome. We booked adjoining rooms (granted ocean view when we prefer a balcony- but it afforded us the luxary of paying for MIL). We had a great family vacation but still had the freedom to get away while MIL or kid's program watched DD. DD loved having her "own" room and snuggled with her grandma every night. Being a stay at home mom myself, I will tell you I would not enjoy myself without her. Seeing all of the other little ones with their families would make me miss her terribly and worry about her the entire time. In fact when she was 2, we were in a hot tub with a couple with a 2 year old who left her at home with grandparents. They said they hadn't considered bringing her and were regretting it after seeing so many kids. Just another opinion, I want you to have a grat vacation with no regrets whatever your decision. Good luck!

[serene56]

those wee ones change daily- I have a grandbaby that we watch 1 night each month. I love those times. One month we tried her for a weekend and it was pure hell-

the seond night all she did was scream and cry-- i mean for hours..

2am until she finally wore herself out at 7am.

 

she missed her family-- although she knew me-- its not the same.

 

do you know it took a long time for her to come to me again.-

 

I would opt for a smaller cruise until your baby is older and can understnad why you arent there.

 

7 days for a aby is a super long time

[Christen99]

Unfortunately, I was a single mama from the time my oldest was 10 months until he was nearly 3 but it definately gave me a look at how truly resilient children are. My little man started having overnights with his dad @ 3 years old and he was more than fine with it (I know it's older than 18 months, but it's my only point of reference). I know plenty of people who have left their little ones with family and they were fine. At 18 months old, they know you aren't there but they don't have any concept of time like we do. I think the bigger factor is, are you ok with this?? If so, and you trust grandma and grandpa I'd say go for it. My youngest little man hasn't spent a night away from me since he was born, and he's going to grandmas for a week. Do I think he'll be ok?? Absolutely! Do I think I'll be ok? Well, I've been a stay home mom for the last 4 years and I've never left him overnight so although I'm ready for a break, I'm sure it will be hard to not see my boys every day (almost 8 and 3). We haven't even used a babysitter since my youngest was born, but I think the time has come for my DH and I to have some time away from the kiddos. Have a great time, your little one will be fine and you'll come back refreshed. I have found since becoming a mom that you get used up pretty quickly, and you NEED time to refill yourself for everyone's benefit.

[jaycor]

8 years ago we left out 18 month old with my in-laws

I must admit I did have sad feelings during the cruise even though i knew that she was in good hands-

I think it was because she was too young to understand where we were.

Still I was glad to have the time with my husband

we cruise every year by ourselves and go to florida with the kids on march break

We take the kids on a cruise every 2 years or so

we leave the kids with no problems now

we always leave the kids with a good care giving and it is good for the 2 of us

 

you will have a great time-just expect that you may miss your child alittle bit.

[NJBelle]

Hi, sounds like you are thoughtful parents. My recommendation as a parent and as a trained pediatriatician is that you know your child the best. And actaullly you know your parents the best. If you think that it is a reasonable thing to leave YOUR child with YOUR parents for 10 days, then it is. And so you should go and just enjoy.

 

My husband and I would leave our child with his parents for at least 3 days since she was less than a year. Since she was 7-8, she has been spending 2 weeks to 4 weeks with them in the summer. Each child is different and each set of grandparents is different.

 

No way should anyone else make you feel guilty. It is perfectly reasonable to be away from your 18 month old for the cruise if you are comfortable that the grandparents can handle your child. I promise you, your child will be fine. They are very resiliant!

 

Wishing you the best, NJBelle

[Happy ks]

I can only give my opinion in hindsight and without the fact that we, unfortunately, did not have any grandparents to leave our children with when they were little.

 

You know your child best and what they can handle. I now wish that we would have taken a little time away, just a week here and there. Not that I didn't cherish my kids childhood, I loved every phase of it. I certainly do not think a parent is any worse for wanting an occasional break from "real life", I think it can recharge the batteries and make a marriage happier and stronger.

 

We didn't have anything more than an very occasional night away (maybe twice in 13 years ) from our kids. When they were 13 and 9 we went away on our first vacation of 7 days. We called almost every day (not sea days) until our kids told us they were fine and to stop calling them :eek: . They were having fun, a couple of days at each Aunt and Uncles house, it was great for them.

 

After that trip, I could see how beneficial it is not just for the parents, but for the kids to build relationships with relatives that is too closely watched by parents.

 

Parenting has always got huge sacrifices to make, it will all be there waiting for you when you get back home. Those who deny themselves an occasional respite can quite possibly be the ones who also have feelings of resentment towards their children or spouse and even towards others who allow themselves a bit of pleasure away from family. Without even recognizing it :rolleyes: