MIL says everyone can go--except for foreign exchange student

[CC Help Michell]

Sincere "gifts" are freely given -- no strings, expectations, or conditions. What your sister is being offered is not a gift -- it's a demand (in my opinion). While my relationship with my sort-of MIL (I have a SO, not a DH, the last ten years) is wonderful and she knows what a "gift" is, if she were a different sort and issued the conditions your sis's MIL has issued, I'd have to respectfully decline. Not because I've seen Titanic too many times -- I would have to be honest and say "Our family has made this commitment to our FES that she will be a member of our family during her year with us. You weren't part of that agreement, so we'd be glad to pay for her -- but if she can't go, it's the same as if you'd excluded one of your grandchildren. I hope you all have a wonderful trip." No spite, no booking separately to show up and escalate family tensions. Just the truth.

 

I do think the key party in this dilemma and future family good will isn't either your sis or the MIL -- I think it's your brother in law. He is now between his mom and his wife in a contest of wills. Not an enviable position. :eek:

[karenh1127]

Wow! Talk about controlling people with $$$!! I would sure hate to know what the Lord thinks about her!:mad: With enough money to pay for 37 people, what she should do is not only include the student, but also pay for the student's real parents to fly down and join them on the cruise. Now that is a gesture of peace and good will. To the Op: is it too late for your sister to get a new MIL? ;)

[crusinmama06]

I agree with all of the others...there is NO way I would take this cruise. The MIL is using this to control the family. She says no fiances? No boyfriends/girlfriends...no exchange students.

 

Oh yeah, I would say NO THANKS!

 

And frankly if her husband doesn't tell his mommy no thanks, then I would be telling the hubby to go without me and have a good time with his mommy. :rolleyes:

[pjtulsa]

From what I understand from friends that have hosted exchange students is that they become part of your FAMILY and many times remain so for life....

 

Good Luck...