Is a DVD player terrible in the dining room?

[Luxuriate]

Ok, I've read the threads dissing the DVD players in the dining room for the little guys. I don't want to offend anyone or get anyones panties in a knot but I really want to know, in reality, what do you all think? I'm focusing on family people who might understand. What are your opinions? I truly want to be the least offensive to everyone but still want my family to have an enjoyable cruise.

 

We are older, 37 and 62 with a 3 year-old in tow. We have found comfort in the DVD player at certain restaurants in the past. Our son has a fairly short attention span (he will be 3 years-old in October 2007) so he only watches for about 15 minutes and then we go on to the next distraction.

 

Ultimately, I would prefer to have him dine before us in buffet but that may or may not always be possible, especially since he is still not 100% potty-trained and can't be sent to the play-room on the ship.

 

Your thought are very welcomed.

 

Thanks,

 

Cheryl

[donaldsc]

I would assume that he is going to use headphones so the sound is not a problem. However, many open type headphones let a lot of noise out (how many times have you heard someone elses music on an airplane?) so if this happens, I would not be happy sharing a table with your son's music. Also, there is not a lot of room at the table so where do you plan to put the player?

 

I personally would not want to share a table with your 3 year old and his DVD player. However, a family with young kids might not mind.

 

DON

[miami]

Hope you're prepared for what's coming :) It can get ugly.

 

Personally, I would prefer a quiet happy child with a DVD player and headphones, coloring book and crayons, etc. To be honest, I probably wouldn't even notice him. But I would if he was acting up, crying, being disruptive.

[azbaby8062]

Well since I am one of THOSE parents whose son will have the DVD player; I am not sure I am one to say. However, I did get many compliments from people about how well he was behaved. We used headphones. The wait staff seemed to like the movie- LOL

 

Now Don made a good point. Our first cruise we were at a table of my extended family. However, the tables behind us and to the left were not and they also made compliments, especially since we had a late seating. We are leaving in two weeks and this time, I am going to try and not use it but it will be handy just in case. :)

[boulders]

I have 3 children, ages 12, 9 and 2. All three have been in plenty of restaurants since a young age. I have never allowed electronics at the table. My dh and I believe that children should learn to behave at the table and bringing electronics is not acceptable behaviour.

 

If someone showed up at my table or a nearby table with a DVD player, it would probably really bother me. Not due to noise or distraction to me, but because it totally goes against my parenting philosophy. I believe it's easier in the long run to start off with appropriate behavior rather than having to remove the distraction at a later age.

 

The youngest has never been on a cruise, but the two oldest have.On his first cruise, my son was seated next to a boy who had brought his Nintendo DS to the table and was playing it. Of course, my son couldn't keep his eyes off of it. When the opportunity arose, I told the boy's mom that my children weren't allowed electronics and she quietly asked the boy to put it away. The children were excused from the table early so that they could go do something more "fun".

[BethCarp]

I have a 3yo and a 6yo and I would never allow them to watch movies or play video games at the dinner table; at home or on a cruise. I purposely waited to cruise with my kids until they were able to go to the kids clubs. (Or I would have used the in-room babysitting.) I don't expect my kids to be able to sit quietly and still during a long, fancy dinner. (They do just fine during a casual dinner). So, I'll take the kids to dinner at the Windjammer early and then send them to AO while DH and I eat at the late seating. That way they can feel comfortable eating and then later DH and I can relax and enjoy our dinner.

[Paleochick]

 

If someone showed up at my table or a nearby table with a DVD player, it would probably really bother me. Not due to noise or distraction to me, but because it totally goes against my parenting philosophy. I believe it's easier in the long run to start off with appropriate behavior rather than having to remove the distraction at a later age.

 

 

Lots of people have different parenting styles. Some kids use napkins at the table and say please and thank you. Some kids burp out loud and giggle. Some kids have shoelaces that are untied and the parents don't care. If the kid is quiet and the noise from the DVD player is absent due to good earphones, what's the problem? You don't agree with the parenting? Worry about your own kids, not someone else's kid who stays up later than yours who needs a little help at the table because he's 3! No 3 year old can sit through a 2 hour meal without distractions. If this parent doesn't pull out the DVD player, she'll have to pull out a Thomas the Train or another toy. Kids are allowed to cruise...don't get upset when a quiet little one is staying quiet. Worry about your own kids. Seriously...you'll keep yourself up late if you are "really bothered" by a well behaved kid with an electronic at dinner. I'm taking my 3yo on his first cruise next month. I won't be bringing a DVD player to the table, but I don't expect to make it through a 2 hour meal without having to leave the dining room a few times. I will bring several other distractions. If you happen to see me, please don't be bothered by my kids. Just enjoy YOUR cruise. We'll be on Carnival...if ANYONE gets upset my my kid's behavior (he's a well behaved sweetie, btw), I'll be happy to have a nice, long chat with them about which cruiseline they are on, rights, etc. On my last cruise, I was horribly offended, daily, by a LARGE group of passengers who didn't have any kids with them. Someone needed to teach them a lesson...where were their parents or the nice people worrying about them at the next table? In the end, I decided to enjoy my cruise. I avoided that group and focused on my cruise experience.

 

To the op, I think you should bring a DVD player, but if ANY noise leaks out from the headphones, leave it in the cabin...that kind of noise is inappropriate in a formal dining room. Practice at home at a restaurant. If your child raises his volume to speak loudly while watching the DVD, it's inappropriate. Make sure you have early seating on the cruise.

 

Have a great trip!

[prwjr]

Well in my humble opinion...you are are on a cruise...there are plenty of other things that you can do on the ship to keep anyone of any age occupied without DVD's or ipod's. I brought an ipod video on my last cruise...I never had to use it...too many other things to enjoy.

 

You are on vacation...don't need cell phone...DVD player...ipod...or anything else...you are likely cruising with 2,000 + or - people that all have smiles on their faces...enjoy that and the people you meet and all the things you paid for to go on your cruise.

 

I would suggest the kids leave all that stuff home...chances are...they will be able to handle it until they return home.

 

Smooth Sailing!

[cruisewith2kids]

Paleochick you took the words out of my mouth. I agree that Boulders should just worry about her kids and not try to impose her "parenting style" on others. I have met a lot of moms like Boulders and I am old enough and wise enough to not kowtow to their demands. If I had been the mom of the nintendo kid, I would have told Boulders to MYOB and take care of her family.

 

I don't have a dvd player but certainly respect that many families use one during a long cruise dinner to entertain the kids. I guess most people don't remember what it was like to be a kid at long meals.

 

I also agree that kids are not the only loud, obnoxious people in a restaurant. Adults can be loud, drunken and obnoxious.

[donaldsc]

Lots of people have different parenting styles. Some kids use napkins at the table and say please and thank you. Some kids burp out loud and giggle.

Have a great trip!

 

Are you suggesting that if I have a problem with a young child at my table whose parents let him burb out loud and make lots of noise, it is my problem and I should accept it. Parenting style should also include a respect for others. If I go to Denny's, then DVDs, burbing, and loud children is to be expected although running around the restaurant and throwing rolls on the floor is not acceptable.

 

If I go to a better restaurant and the dining room of a cruise is equivalent to a better restaurant, this behavior is not acceptable.

 

DON

[Paleochick]

 

I also agree that kids are not the only loud, obnoxious people in a restaurant. Adults can be loud, drunken and obnoxious.

 

 

Yes, yes, yes! Dh and I talk about this all the time. I wonder if you asked the customer service people on the ship which group really causes more problems on the ship, adults or children, what the answer would be. I think we all know the answer. Then the posts come on this board to remind parents how to control their kids so that other passengers don't have to deal with them while on their vacation. When I see posts about kids behavior, I want to start a post of my own reminding ADULTS how to behave. I get sick of the chair saving, the annoying drunken noise at all hours of the day and night, stiffing wait staff on tips, etc. You don't ever hear about children jumping overboard and delaying the vacation of thousands while they are searched for. I am absolutely shocked at some of the attitudes towards kids on CC.

 

I will keep MY kids under control on my next cruise. I wonder how many adults can say that of themselves.

[Paleochick]

Are you suggesting that if I have a problem with a young child at my table whose parents let him burb out loud and make lots of noise, it is my problem and I should accept it. Parenting style should also include a respect for others. If I go to Denny's, then DVDs, burbing, and loud children is to be expected although running around the restaurant and throwing rolls on the floor is not acceptable.

 

If I go to a better restaurant and the dining room of a cruise is equivalent to a better restaurant, this behavior is not acceptable.

 

DON

 

I was using that as an example of different parenting style. I would never put up with it at my table. I don't think I said I would put up with it. If a kid throws rolls on the floor more than once, I think the parents should be talked to.

 

My point is, if we are all dining in a restaurant that accepts children, we should not be shocked/offended if a parent of an otherwise quiet 3yo brings a portable DVD player with good headphones to help keep her kid stay occupied during a long-ish dinner. I didn't say we should accept bad behavior...did I?

 

I'll reiterate my points since you missed them:

 

1. We shouldn't let our cruise be ruined if we see a parenting style we don't like. If it's horribly offensive, food fights, noise, running, talk to your waiter or the maitre d'. That's obvious.

 

2. If a good kid is staying good by watching a silent DVD player at dinner, don't get your undies in a bunch. Chill out. If you are horribly offended by this silence and would prefer another table, talk to the maitre d'. Don't let it ruin your cruise. We had to switch tables once because of ADULTS. The kid we are referring to is 3...not 11. If an 11 year old needs a DVD player for a 2 hour dinner, he shouldn't be brought to dinner. This is part of the training process for a 3 year old. We take ours to all sorts of restaurants...it's all training, but I have to remember that he's 3! He doesn't have to have it mastered by that age.

 

3. If you have a kid with a DVD player and it's noisy, don't use it!

 

I think that sums it up.

[NoelsCat]

To answer the Original Poster:

 

I see nothing wrong with a portable DVD player to entertain an under 4 year old at the table. At this age, it is highly unrealistic to believe that ALL children are capable of sitting quietly with nothing to do through a 2 hour meal. There may be some -- but certainly not the majority. I really don't see the difference between a dvd or a coloring book or any other distraction.

 

I think that older than 4, a child can be far more self-entertained and reasoned with as far as behavior. I personally wouldn't use dvd players, iPods or video games at this point only because I think beyond four kids can learn to be a true part of the conversation and join completely. I think electronic gadgets can interfere with interpersonal skills. However, this is just my opinion/parenting style -- I still wouldn't be offended if other parents did things differently. Every kid is different and I am not the expert of other people's children!

 

I hope you enjoy your cruise. We will be a large family cruising in early January. If you are on the same ship, you are welcome to join our table ... your son and even his dvd player are welcome!

[boulders]

Geez!

 

The OP asked for opinions.

Ok, I've read the threads dissing the DVD players in the dining room for the little guys. I don't want to offend anyone or get anyones panties in a knot but I really want to know, in reality, what do you all think? I'm focusing on family people who might understand. What are your opinions? I truly want to be the least offensive to everyone but still want my family to have an enjoyable cruise.

 

I gave her my opinion, which she asked for. At no time did I say I would be offended or that it would ruin my cruise. :p I did say it would bother me. Burping at the table, no matter what the age, would also bother me.

 

I have never told parents how to raise their own children. If you read my post, I mentioned to my fellow cruiser, that MY children were not allowed electronics at the table - only after SHE brought up the subject ("Do your children have Nintendos?" "Yes, but they're not allowed to have them at the table.") Kind of along the lines of "Do you own a pair of jeans? :D "Yes, but we don't wear them to a nice dinner."

[CoronaCpl]

...don't want to offend anyone or get anyones panties in a knot but I really want to know, in reality, what do you all think?

 

...so he only watches for about 15 minutes and then we go on to the next distraction.

 

l

 

I don't wear panties, but my boxers probably wouldn't be in a knot either (if I wore those...).

 

Not sure I'd like to see a 3 year old with DVD player at the dinner table. Like somebody already said, electronic distractions at the table are not my thing. We took our children out from early ages and "socialized" them into the finer points of eating in public. Table manners, behavior and patience probably being the lesson plan we followed. Did they still act up or lose interest during 'longer' dinners? Of course - they are kids afterall. Whenever that happened one of us would [gently] grab the child and move away from the table and take whaterver action was necessary (swift hand to the rear end or a gentle 'talking to' or a more firm 'talking to'). Read that again so I don't get blamed for child abuse!

 

If I were at your table on a cruise and your son had a DVD player I would be socialable and probably not say anything - might even watch whatever was showing. BUT I would probably not be too happy about it. The arguement that you can hear sound from others' headphones is true, however, I'm not sure you could hear much inside a cruise ship dining room.

 

The DVD you've identified. However, I'm a little leary about what's next - or as you put it, "we go on to the next distraction.' What follows the DVD? What distraction is used for the remaining 1 hour and 45 minutes?

[CanadianTwosome]

My grandfather had a saying... 'If we could all raise the neighbor's kids, there would be nothing but perfect kids in the world.' Basically, we all do our best as parents, and make our parenting choices not only based on our personal philosophies, but on our children as well. My child is nothing like most of the kids I've known over the course of my life; she is a unique individual. As such, we've made choices that have worked for her over the years.

 

I agree with Noelscat about kids over 4. I share her belief that by that age, children should be capable of understanding the rules of etiquette and participating in the social interaction of mealtime. For some kids, they're ready and capable earlier. For some, it's still a struggle at 4. If someone has found a way to keep their toddler from being disruptive without otherwise affecting the other guests, then I appreciate it. I would certainly prefer to have a child nearby quietly watching a movie to a parent berating their child for being disruptive.

 

I also agree that we shouldn't be bothered by other peoples' choices that don't affect us... but we don't have any control over our emotions, just how we react to them. I see things all the time that I don't agree with and I choose not to let them bother me... I think this is the kind of thing Boulders was actually talking about. Nobody can help noticing things that they feel negatively about; that doesn't mean they're letting it affect them. We also do not allow electronics at the dinner table, and were very fortunate to have a child that has always been easy to have around.

 

Don't get me started on disruptive adults! :p

[sandy toes]

What is proper and what is accepted are two different things. On a cruise, especially a Carnival cruise children are accepted in the dining room. I say what keeps them quiet and in their seat is pretty much OK. Now, having said that, no one in my family will have an IPod, GameBoy or DVD at the table. They have been taught a different set of rules that follow them to any table, sea or land. Will I be upset by the child that has a DVD player with quiet headphones? Not at all. Would I be upset if a 25 yr old brought his? Yes. Would either spoil my cruise? No way!!!

[CoronaCpl]

Would I be upset if a 25 yr old brought his? Yes. Would either spoil my cruise? No way!!!

 

DITTO!

[katerkat]

We will have an almost-three and a one year old on our cruise. We're bringing the DVD player to dinner. My son has awesome table manners. He says "peas" and "tank to" and "you're welbum," he eats a large variety of foods, he can generally sit still through a dinner for about an hour. After an hour, he needs something new to do or he will get very antsy. We'll have coloring books. We will have his "memory cards." And we will have the DVD player with headphones. Neither of the kiddos can go to AO because of their age, and given that it's a family cruise (grandparents down to the little guys), they would be disappointed to be left out of dinner every night. (Mine will at least, don't know if my neice will realize what's going on.) When he's older, I won't resort to electronic aids - but he's not older, he's not even three.

 

Our biggest thing is working on him not screeching out "OH TOODLES" during Mickey Mouse Clubhouse. ;)

 

As for other parenting styles... Well, I hate to say it, but oh well. I don't like seeing people give their kids a swift hand to the rear end. I don't think it's child abuse but it's not something I personally use with my son and it's not something I'd like to witness on my cruise. But I know other people do it so it's something I have not let bother me if I witness it.

[SunniLicious]

We'll be bringing our 2-year-old on NCL next January, and won't be taking her to any 2-hour-dinners. IMO, gadgets have no place at the dinner table, and if the child needs distractions (and what 3-year-old wouldn't, when faced with a two-hour dinner?) then the situation is too 'adult' for them and they're not ready to be in it.

 

I'd recommend choosing NCL or Carnival, who will allow you to place your 3-year-old in the kids' club (NCL will page you to come do diaper duty, Carnival will change diapers for you) or choosing a more casual dining option on those nights you want dinner together as a family.

[myraid]

I personally don't want my son to have to rely on a DVD player in public, but that is 100% my personal choice and I have NO problem if someone else decides to use one. My son watches TV at dinner at home and it is already a bad habit, so I try not to continue that habit when we are out in public (I prefer to be a 'bad' mom only in the privacy of my own home...lol) To each his/her own and I always believe you have to do what you have to do.

 

You know your little one best, so be respectful of other passengers (sounds like you already are!) and just do what's best for him and yourself! And most importantly, have a great cruise! :D

[BettyBoopX]

Just my 2 cents!

If you deside to bring a DVD player into the dining room there are a couple things that will keep you from getting to many of the angry stares and comments. The first one is the sound which has already been cover... ear phones.

The second is one that many people forget about. When you are watching a movie the picture flickers and can be not only a distraction but can really bother some peoples eyes. So try and go the first day and see where your table is. The best place to be with a DVD player is by a wall that way the child can sit so the screen will face the wall and the flickering will never be in anyones eye sight to bother or distract them from their dinner time, unless of course they are at your table LOL. If when you check you are seated in the middle of the dining room you can ask if there is possibly a place you can move so that you would be near a wall. I would also suggest maybe asking the people who are seated at your table or around you nearby if it is bothering them or ask them to let you know if it starts bothering them. (that right there shows that you care about the people around you and are not one of those this is my vacation I can do what I like and you can just shove it, there are a lot of those now a day unfortneatly)

 

Mind you I would have never been allowed to watch a DVD in a formal dining room nor will my children but I am not going to get mad at what someone else allows their child to do as long as they are being polite, respectful, and aware of how it effects the people around them. The fact that you actually asked this means you are the kind of people to atleast think about the people around you and how it effects them and that is good.

 

I hope you enjoy your cruise and I am sure with out without the DVD player at dinner you will enjoy yourselves.

[Luxuriate]

I read these boards almost every day.

 

That being said, it was my husband that suggested yesterday that maybe we should bring the DVD player to the dining room with us on the cruise. My first thought was, "UH OH, not a good idea!", as I had read many responses already and knew what others think (he doesn't read any of these boards or even converse with other parents all that much)".

 

I posted the question point-blank because I wanted ammunition to bring the hubby as to why I don't think it is a good idea on the cruise ship. You have all given me what I need.

 

I think the better alternative is to have the little guy eat separately and hire a babysitter if we want to eat with the grown-ups. That is what we will do.

 

Cheryl

[teras75]

Who cares what other people think about a DVD player? As long as it does NOT affect others in the dining room ( sound etc..) then bring it! I have no problem with a child watching a DVD at a dinner. It is none of my business how someone parents their child. I let my 10 year old bring his DS to dinner on our last cruise, he is on vacation too! My family goes on a cruise to have fun (we are all well behaved). I am not about to worry about people staring or commenting that they don't like my parenting! I will worry about my family and they can worry about thiers! There are bigger problems in life besides a quiet child happily watching their favorite movie.

 

That is my 2 cents and I will get off of my soapbox now! :cool:

[Luxuriate]

Who cares what other people think about a DVD player? As long as it does NOT affect others in the dining room ( sound etc..) then bring it! I have no problem with a child watching a DVD at a dinner. It is none of my business how someone parents their child. I let my 10 year old bring his DS to dinner on our last cruise, he is on vacation too! My family goes on a cruise to have fun (we are all well behaved). I am not about to worry about people staring or commenting that they don't like my parenting! I will worry about my family and they can worry about thiers! There are bigger problems in life besides a quiet child happily watching their favorite movie.

 

That is my 2 cents and I will get off of my soapbox now! :cool:

 

Have to say, you made me feel a bit better about being such a "bad" parent. Thank you.