Sick to death off kid haters!!!

[CanadianTwosome]

Sharon, I was a very lucky parent, so I didn't have to deal with much of what you're describing. My sweet angel is not perfect by a long shot, though (and thank goodness, how would anyone deal with that? ha ha), and so I've had my share of learning to parent. One of the common things, no matter what your child's behaviour is like, is that sometimes things are going to happen that you don't want to encourage. Often for me, it was something that I found hilarious on the inside and had to fight with all my will not to laugh at for fear of encouragement. Either way, though, it's all about loving your child and fighting your first urge to do what's best for them.

 

That being said, you're entirely correct. When you're in public, most of the time you do have to give in out of respect for the people around you. The one thing you need to remember as you're carrying him out, worrying that he's learning to expect rewards for bad behaviour, is that he's two. This too shall pass. My mom used to say 'there are no kids in kindergarten in diapers' - basically yeah, it seems like they're never going to grow out of some difficult stage or behaviour (or potty train), but they will. You will not have the early stage communication issues forever. Eventually, you will be able to sit down and discuss acceptable behaviour with him. For now, all you can do is what is best and appropriate in any given situation.

 

On your cruise, you're all on vacation. Wouldn't you rather go walk on deck with a non-crying child than suffer through his crying as part of your parenting as you do at home? So you miss part of your meal... go back later or go to the buffet or call room service. Relax and don't stress. I agree with your usual methods and I applaud your will, but you need to give both of you some time off while you're away. Just have fun and play. Who knows, it might even work in your favour. You just never know what's going to 'take' at that age!!

[larronry]

Since I'm a vegetarian chances are room services is out because there vegetarian menu isn't on room service and there is no buffet. We are late seating and there is a pasta bar but it closes at 9pm so I'll have back up food (toddler meals) for my son but not for me. I am used to missing meals though, I've walked out of too many restaurants because of him (breakfast dinner). My son is done it's time to leave doesn't matter that mommy hasn't eaten. Carnival will be great next year because when he's done I can put him in Camp Carnival until I finish eating and then pick him up. I joke with my husband I'll loose 7 lbs and he'll gain 7 lbs.

 

As for the walks around deck. My son can do that for hours and he will. Dec 17 we will be walking on deck and around the ship for hours that much I can guarantee. I will know the ship like the back of my hand by the end of that day. Probably the first time I'll be able to say that at the end of the first full day of a cruise.

 

OK so he was colicky but other than that stage he was the easiest baby. How can he have turned into the holly terror of toddlers? His pediatrician thinks I caused it. He has no idea that I've always expected good behavior out of him. This kid changed overnight. After we booked the cruise of course. Could of canceled but I didn't want to. I do know what to do to not ruin others vacations.

 

Do you have any idea how pissed I'd be if I see a parent not supervising their child when I'm working so hard with mine to not disturb others.

[pavteam]

Here is some advice. Mean what you say!!!. If you Say - if you misbehave, then tomorrow you can NOT do... Ask my boys, one year they really wanted to play organized basketball. They were warned several times after a week of fighting among the 2 of them that if they got into it again -NO Basketball. Well, NO Basketball that year. It about killed me, I am a big supporter of team sports - they learn so many other life lessons with playing team sports. But I stuck to my guns and Guess what - they learned that when Mom (or Dad) says something they mean it.

 

Turn it around. Say...If you are REALLY good at dinner, then I have a present for you. GO to the $$ store before you go and get a small present for each meal that you are worried about. Take the present to dinner and make sure that he knows if he is REALLY good, you have a surprise for him. Then give it to him if he behaves, if not - leave it on the table OR give it to a little kid there who is being good. Trust me after raising 3 kids - sometimes alone, since hubby is a Marine - no matter how old they are - they catch on REAL quick.

 

More often than not when a kid misbehaves in a restaurant, it is because they are bored. Take something to occupy them when they are done - Some paper and crayons - tell them to Draw Grandma a picture of something special that happened today. Usually they are more than happy to comply and then are proud of their artwork.

 

Have fun.

[NoelsCat]

OK so he was colicky but other than that stage he was the easiest baby. How can he have turned into the holly terror of toddlers? His pediatrician thinks I caused it. He has no idea that I've always expected good behavior out of him. This kid changed overnight. .

 

Just wanted to send you a hug.

 

He doesn't sound like the "holy terror" of toddlers. He just sounds two. :) Does your ped have any kids? You didn't cause anything. It's the age.

My son went through a very similar stage... also seemingly overnight. I promise that it does pass.

[larronry]

Here is some advice. Mean what you say!!!. If you Say - if you misbehave, then tomorrow you can NOT do... Ask my boys, one year they really wanted to play organized basketball. They were warned several times after a week of fighting among the 2 of them that if they got into it again -NO Basketball. Well, NO Basketball that year. It about killed me, I am a big supporter of team sports - they learn so many other life lessons with playing team sports. But I stuck to my guns and Guess what - they learned that when Mom (or Dad) says something they mean it.

 

Turn it around. Say...If you are REALLY good at dinner, then I have a present for you. GO to the $$ store before you go and get a small present for each meal that you are worried about. Take the present to dinner and make sure that he knows if he is REALLY good, you have a surprise for him. Then give it to him if he behaves, if not - leave it on the table OR give it to a little kid there who is being good. Trust me after raising 3 kids - sometimes alone, since hubby is a Marine - no matter how old they are - they catch on REAL quick.

 

More often than not when a kid misbehaves in a restaurant, it is because they are bored. Take something to occupy them when they are done - Some paper and crayons - tell them to Draw Grandma a picture of something special that happened today. Usually they are more than happy to comply and then are proud of their artwork.

 

Have fun.

I do mean what I say and you've got to remember that he's two so there's no if you misbehave today then tomorrow you can't because his brain just doesn't work that far ahead. Consequences need to be immediate. And although I believe in rewarding for good behavior I would rather he have the toy to play with at the table then give him the toy for good behavior. Besides I'm not sure it would work. When he first started his breathing treatments the Dr. said to give him chocolate afterwards so he had something to look forward to. He threw the chocolate. As for the coloring he loves to color and I'm bringing washable crayons but he doesn't understand draw something special that happened today. If I can keep him from loosing it he's fine once he does everything gets thrown. My husband and I can't talk to him at that point because we are a comfort to him. In other words we reinforce just by talking. I'm sort of hoping just by all the attention he'll be getting from us on the cruise he'll be better behaved.

 

Just wanted to send you a hug.

 

He doesn't sound like the "holy terror" of toddlers. He just sounds two. :) Does your ped have any kids? You didn't cause anything. It's the age.

My son went through a very similar stage... also seemingly overnight. I promise that it does pass.

My pediatrician is a man. My parents have known him for years. His wife raised the kids. I think I've spent too much time in his office (4 times since last Monday) because I get upset about this every time I see him. But I chose him for a couple of reason and now that my son is asthmatic and I see how my neighbors pediatrician treats her son's asthma vs. how my pediatrician treats my son's asthma I know I made the right decision. That and I know he is not antibiotic happy. There are just some areas that he thinks he knows best and he doesn't and I begin to question myself.

 

I watched my neighbors son and there is just such a difference between 2 and 3. Some of it is good and well some of it well he'll just always be my baby.

 

I just want your son's red hair. He is so cute.

[sandyblue029]

I just started reading the end of this thread and I would like to offer some advice that if I hadn't seen work I would never recommend. My grandson age 2 does not watch much tv or videos. My DIL got him a DVD player. We went on vacation together, he was wonderful we ate dinner and he sat and watched videos he was completely entertained and no one around us was bothered by him. When my DIL first mentioned a DVD player for a 2 year old I was horrified but now I understand.

Oh, and little children do grow up to be teenagers and then adults.

[larronry]

I just started reading the end of this thread and I would like to offer some advice that if I hadn't seen work I would never recommend. My grandson age 2 does not watch much tv or videos. My DIL got him a DVD player. We went on vacation together, he was wonderful we ate dinner and he sat and watched videos he was completely entertained and no one around us was bothered by him. When my DIL first mentioned a DVD player for a 2 year old I was horrified but now I understand.

Oh, and little children do grow up to be teenagers and then adults.

That's my secret weapon in the car. And I am bringing the DVD player on the cruise. Had to just win an auction on ebay for another battery for it because mine stopped working (and I don't use it that often), I use the car plug in the car and disconnect the battery for that to work. And am bringing plenty of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse and Doodlebops videos. He just loves Mickey since our trip to Disney.

[CanadianTwosome]

Wow, there's some really good advice popping up here; I love these boards!! My extra few cents regarding meals is that if one of you has to get up with him, it doesn't have to be you every time. Daddy's going to have some opportunities to spend time with his son that he doesn't usually have - so let him!! ha ha ha

 

Also, if one of you has to leave the table with him, just ask your server to prepare the remainder of their meal so that it can be taken back to your cabin. I realized after I told you earlier that you could always go back that I'm used to sailing on NCL, where you really can go find something (even vegetarian). But, on every line, they will make box lunches for people on shore excursions, so if they don't want to let you take their plates to your room, have them put it in a disposable container. I would be very surprised if they didn't accommodate a polite request when you've clearly put yourself out to make everyone else's experience better (including them). :)

[pavteam]

Don't jump all over me for what I am about to say - I have had lots of experience with kids - my own and others (teacher) and just want to share my thoughts.

I think your 2 year old may understand more than your give him/her credit for. My daughter spoke in paragraphs when she was 2 and no one believed she was only 2. When she was 28 months old and we were potty training her, she wanted a cute japanese tricycle (we lived in Japan). We explained that she could have one IF she could go a whole 2 weeks with no accidents- we showed her the calendar and blocked off 2 weeks. Every night we would have a X marking ceremony if she had no accidents and do a little happy dance - All of us. When we had the 2 weeks all X'd off, we went shopping and she got her bike. Then she started having accidents again - so she would loose the bike until she could go several more days with no accidents. She TOTALLY understood what was expected of her and what she needed to do to get what she wanted. My one son went to preschool at 25 months - for my sanity;) and he would bring papers home and tell me what he drew that day. From working with other children, I don't think mine are exceptional.

 

Sometimes our kids understand much more than we give them credit for. My youngest for example, was 2 1/2 and wasn't talking. I kept after his older siblings that they could NOT get what he wanted if he just pointed and grunted, but.. they were kids and were trying to help their brother. One week at Sunday School, his teacher was telling us what he had told her. My husband & I had this puzzled looks on our faces and said at the same time - "he told you that"? Yes... I said "HE TALKS"! She had this very puzzled look on her face. Apparently he talked up a storm at Sunday School - and it was understandable, but at home NO ONE knew that he talked. That Sly little devil:D I guess he figured why talk if they'll get me what I want by just pointing and grunting. He knew much more than he let on. Don't sell your little one short on what they comprehend or are capable of. And don't get mad at me for offering my opinion.

[larronry]

Wow, there's some really good advice popping up here; I love these boards!! My extra few cents regarding meals is that if one of you has to get up with him, it doesn't have to be you every time. Daddy's going to have some opportunities to spend time with his son that he doesn't usually have - so let him!! ha ha ha

 

Also, if one of you has to leave the table with him, just ask your server to prepare the remainder of their meal so that it can be taken back to your cabin. I realized after I told you earlier that you could always go back that I'm used to sailing on NCL, where you really can go find something (even vegetarian). But, on every line, they will make box lunches for people on shore excursions, so if they don't want to let you take their plates to your room, have them put it in a disposable container. I would be very surprised if they didn't accommodate a polite request when you've clearly put yourself out to make everyone else's experience better (including them). :)

Oh if only my husband would. The wife I am traveling with is very likely to open her mouth if he doesn't step up to the plate, however, his vision is to not help at all. I was supposed to go back to work but haven't because he got the pneumonia and I'm now scared to put him in school before the cruise because he'll be susceptible to get it again anytime he gets a cold for several months. But when I go back to work I'll be responsible for doing everything I'm doing now and working. Yeah believe me there has been a lot of arguing. You can't have an old fashion wife and a modern wife at the same time. Doesn't work. As for asking if it can be packaged for the room well it can't hurt to ask.

 

Don't jump all over me for what I am about to say - I have had lots of experience with kids - my own and others (teacher) and just want to share my thoughts.

I think your 2 year old may understand more than your give him/her credit for. My daughter spoke in paragraphs when she was 2 and no one believed she was only 2. When she was 28 months old and we were potty training her, she wanted a cute japanese tricycle (we lived in Japan). We explained that she could have one IF she could go a whole 2 weeks with no accidents- we showed her the calendar and blocked off 2 weeks. Every night we would have a X marking ceremony if she had no accidents and do a little happy dance - All of us. When we had the 2 weeks all X'd off, we went shopping and she got her bike. Then she started having accidents again - so she would loose the bike until she could go several more days with no accidents. She TOTALLY understood what was expected of her and what she needed to do to get what she wanted. My one son went to preschool at 25 months - for my sanity;) and he would bring papers home and tell me what he drew that day. From working with other children, I don't think mine are exceptional.

 

Sometimes our kids understand much more than we give them credit for. My youngest for example, was 2 1/2 and wasn't talking. I kept after his older siblings that they could NOT get what he wanted if he just pointed and grunted, but.. they were kids and were trying to help their brother. One week at Sunday School, his teacher was telling us what he had told her. My husband & I had this puzzled looks on our faces and said at the same time - "he told you that"? Yes... I said "HE TALKS"! She had this very puzzled look on her face. Apparently he talked up a storm at Sunday School - and it was understandable, but at home NO ONE knew that he talked. That Sly little devil:D I guess he figured why talk if they'll get me what I want by just pointing and grunting. He knew much more than he let on. Don't sell your little one short on what they comprehend or are capable of. And don't get mad at me for offering my opinion.

Certainly won't jump on you for your input but my son is definetly trying to talk and he wants to talk he really can't. I know he understands a lot because he has followed complicated comands. He has hit almost every developmental milestone late in his life so at least in this case I'd say that I'm probably an expert in my son. His taking my hand and bringing me to something to let me know he wants it is a brand new concept (maybe within the last couple of weeks) and he's 25 months. Same with his bringing me his cup to tell me he wants a drink (also within the last couple of weeks). Before this we had to already be in the room for him to reach in the direction and sign want. Now when I go back to work and send him to school I might not be as good of an expert, but I also bet he might start talking then.

[Onessa]

. . . It just amazes me how bratty some kids are now a days! :mad:

 

I was showing my DD smoe pictures of the Beatles and the Rolling Stones from their early days -- I REMEMBER my mother's friends utter horror at how "long" their hair was and how the dressed like "hoodlums". Now of course looking at the groups, they would be considered to be quite well dressed and, based upon the styles that they would wear in just a few years, the hair was VERY short.

 

Each generation believes that the prior generation is so much more poorly behaved than their generation had been.

 

OK, so everyone feeling like an "old fart" raise their hand! :D

[CanadianTwosome]

Oh if only my husband would. The wife I am traveling with is very likely to open her mouth if he doesn't step up to the plate, however, his vision is to not help at all. I was supposed to go back to work but haven't because he got the pneumonia and I'm now scared to put him in school before the cruise because he'll be susceptible to get it again anytime he gets a cold for several months. But when I go back to work I'll be responsible for doing everything I'm doing now and working. Yeah believe me there has been a lot of arguing. You can't have an old fashion wife and a modern wife at the same time. Doesn't work. As for asking if it can be packaged for the room well it can't hurt to ask.

 

Wow, that's too bad. He's going to miss out on a lot. If my husband had that attitude, I'd leave him home! ha ha ha Wait... if my husband had that attitude, I might leave him, period! :eek: Okay, all jokes aside, you're the one that's going to get the rewards for what you give to your son now, so make the best of it. I actually think back to when my daughter was born and I remember wishing my husband would stop picking her up... I mean... anything could have happened!! ha ha ha She was MINE, dammit!!! I eventually outgrew the sheer panic that I felt when anyone - even he - picked her up and took her out of my line of sight... especially when he started getting up in the middle of the night to fetch her for me for those 2am feedings! hee hee

 

Okay, back on topic now. Looks like if someone is going to leave the dining room, it will be you, and clearly you're prepared for it. Now if he's well behaved, it will be an even more special occurrence! Definitely ask for the food, though. I can't think of any reason they woudln't let your husband bring it to the room for you.

[crusinmama06]

Certainly won't jump on you for your input but my son is definetly trying to talk and he wants to talk he really can't. I know he understands a lot because he has followed complicated comands. He has hit almost every developmental milestone late in his life so at least in this case I'd say that I'm probably an expert in my son. His taking my hand and bringing me to something to let me know he wants it is a brand new concept (maybe within the last couple of weeks) and he's 25 months. Same with his bringing me his cup to tell me he wants a drink (also within the last couple of weeks). Before this we had to already be in the room for him to reach in the direction and sign want. Now when I go back to work and send him to school I might not be as good of an expert, but I also bet he might start talking then.

 

Call your ped and get a referal to have your son evaluated by a speech therapist. I could have written your desciption about your son but it would have been about MY daughter.

 

I now know it's the difference between "Expressive" and "Receptive/Cognitive Language". What your child understands is MUCH more than he can say. I noticed that my daughter (at age 2) couldn't be understood as much as her peers. She would take my hand and take me to things she wanted. She would grunt for things she wanted no matter how much we prompted her, she still wasn't able to say the words. I suspected that she had a form of apraxia. So I called the doc and got her referred to a speech clinic. They tested her and discovered that her language was that of a 10-12 month old :eek: but she comprehended up to a 3 year old level.

 

My next step was to take her to an ear/hearing specialist. Her hearing has been decreased due to fluid stemming from ear infections.

 

We started her in therapy immediatly and had tubes put in her ears. The change has been remarkable. She is 3.5 now. She can speak in full sentences but she still has trouble being understood by others.

 

Get help NOW for your son. It was the best decision we ever made. The therapist tells us that most parents don't catch these thing until the kids are 4-5 and are in school. THEN the parents see the differences in their child compared to the peers.

 

Everyone said "Don't worry, she's just a late bloomer. She'll talk" :rolleyes: If I would have listened to THAT advice, my daughter's speech would never have improved. :(

[larronry]

Call your ped and get a referal to have your son evaluated by a speech therapist. I could have written your desciption about your son but it would have been about MY daughter.

 

I now know it's the difference between "Expressive" and "Receptive/Cognitive Language". What your child understands is MUCH more than he can say. I noticed that my daughter (at age 2) couldn't be understood as much as her peers. She would take my hand and take me to things she wanted. She would grunt for things she wanted no matter how much we prompted her, she still wasn't able to say the words. I suspected that she had a form of apraxia. So I called the doc and got her referred to a speech clinic. They tested her and discovered that her language was that of a 10-12 month old :eek: but she comprehended up to a 3 year old level.

 

My next step was to take her to an ear/hearing specialist. Her hearing has been decreased due to fluid stemming from ear infections.

 

We started her in therapy immediatly and had tubes put in her ears. The change has been remarkable. She is 3.5 now. She can speak in full sentences but she still has trouble being understood by others.

 

Get help NOW for your son. It was the best decision we ever made. The therapist tells us that most parents don't catch these thing until the kids are 4-5 and are in school. THEN the parents see the differences in their child compared to the peers.

 

Everyone said "Don't worry, she's just a late bloomer. She'll talk" :rolleyes: If I would have listened to THAT advice, my daughter's speech would never have improved. :(

He was evaluated last spring and came up at the low end of normal. I would guess if I had him evaluated again he would qualify for services now. Just means I have to go through the process again Not an easy process here but you are right need to do it again. As for fluid in the ear he has never had an ear infection so I don't think it's the problem. It's really hard to try and figure out the difference, especially with boys, between speech delayed and late bloomer. My ped does think that once he's in preschool he will most likely begin talking. Chances are he'll be in preschool before he gets evaluated anyway. There is a waitlist so it just takes a while.

[crusinmama06]

He was evaluated last spring and came up at the low end of normal. I would guess if I had him evaluated again he would qualify for services now. Just means I have to go through the process again Not an easy process here but you are right need to do it again. As for fluid in the ear he has never had an ear infection so I don't think it's the problem. It's really hard to try and figure out the difference, especially with boys, between speech delayed and late bloomer. My ped does think that once he's in preschool he will most likely begin talking. Chances are he'll be in preschool before he gets evaluated anyway. There is a waitlist so it just takes a while.

 

So you tried to get him evaluated through Zero - 3? You're right, there are usually long waiting lists for those programs. I stepped right over that and went to a private speech clinic and used my health insurance coverage to pay for it. ;)

 

Now that she is in preschool, the school district wants to pick up the tab and start giving her speech therapy. :)

[larronry]

So you tried to get him evaluated through Zero - 3? You're right, there are usually long waiting lists for those programs. I stepped right over that and went to a private speech clinic and used my health insurance coverage to pay for it. ;)

 

Now that she is in preschool, the school district wants to pick up the tab and start giving her speech therapy. :)

Unfortunetly the only speech path on my plan that is in the area has a Spanish accent. I don't think that is a good idea since neither DH nor myself have a Spanish accent. So it's pay out of pocket, drive 45 minutes, or do 0-3.

[crusinmama06]

Unfortunetly the only speech path on my plan that is in the area has a Spanish accent. I don't think that is a good idea since neither DH nor myself have a Spanish accent. So it's pay out of pocket, drive 45 minutes, or do 0-3.

 

LOL! I got it. He might sound cute with a spanish accent...lol. ;) :p