The Nerve!!!

[sas80]

It happens all over this board.

Apparently, if you have a small child that in any way, shape, or form, could possibly disrupt a complete strangers vacation, you need to take that into consideration, and they would most appreciate it if you would just stay home and not vacation at all!

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?p=12615723#post12615723

[wrp96]

Cosol's really friendly. He'll do a great job with your toddler. Ignore the idiots. Cosol would've told you if he didn't recommend bringing your child with you. One suggestion, if you can, grab an apple or two from the Windjammer for him. He loves them.

[sas80]

Cosol's really friendly. He'll do a great job with your toddler. Ignore the idiots. Cosol would've told you if he didn't recommend bringing your child with you. One suggestion, if you can, grab an apple or two from the Windjammer for him. He loves them.

 

Really? Wow! I will!

 

So, what's the deal? You cant get apples on the island?

[wrp96]

Really? Wow! I will!

 

So, what's the deal? You cant get apples on the island?

 

They're really expensive there (not indigenous).

[mark3232]

It happens all over this board.

Apparently, if you have a small child that in any way, shape, or form, could possibly disrupt a complete strangers vacation, you need to take that into consideration, and they would most appreciate it if you would just stay home and not vacation at all!

 

Go and have a great time!! It's up to you to know what being considerate is/means. Many parents traveling with infants have no clue and it shows in their attitude and actions and that ruins it for us all. It’s easy to become blind with your little bundle of joy and not see or hear what the strangers do.

 

It’s not just you and your child but a group of people that you will have to get along with. You just need to think and plan ahead so you prepared. That way when the trip is over, you hear nothing but nice comments.

[crusinmama06]

Leave him at home Sas! Who wants a whining baby on a tour anyway? :D :D :D :D

 

LOL...you just knew I had to do that. Honestly some of the people who responded to you are the same that argue with me about the same type of subjects. They must sit back and wait for someone who is "crazy" enough to bring a child on a family vacation. ;)

 

Just thinking about the apple. You can't take fresh fruit off the ship because of the chances of bringing a parasite into another country. I've seen threads on THAT topic beaten to death too.

[CanadianTwosome]

It never fails; regardless of the issue, if it has anything to do with kids, it will become about kids and whether they should even be there. If you'd been asking about an adult with similar allergies, nobody would have suggested you leave them at home! (well... probably not, anyway :cool: )

 

It's nice to be able to come here and find people who can give you good, objective advice based on their experience - as I see you've gotten. I'm sure you'll have a great time, and if all goes well, there won't be any cranky adults on the tour to 'ruin' it for you!! :p

[larronry]

 

Just thinking about the apple. You can't take fresh fruit off the ship because of the chances of bringing a parasite into another country. I've seen threads on THAT topic beaten to death too.

I'm going to go read the thread now that started this, but isn't it just the U.S. that they stop you from bringing fresh food into. I've never been stopped for any Caribbean port?

[sas80]

I'm going to go read the thread now that started this, but isn't it just the U.S. that they stop you from bringing fresh food into. I've never been stopped for any Caribbean port?

 

CUTE new pic!!! Your baby surely has grown! And look at all that hair! :)

[crusinmama06]

I'm going to go read the thread now that started this, but isn't it just the U.S. that they stop you from bringing fresh food into. I've never been stopped for any Caribbean port?

 

Yep it's all Carribean ports. You can't take fresh food off the ship into port. I'll see if I can track down the last massacre thread about the topic.

 

Edited to say:

 

This isn't one of the nastier ones. I search more when I get back.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=623494

[sas80]

Yep it's all Carribean ports. You can't take fresh food off the ship into port. I'll see if I can track down the last massacre thread about the topic.

 

Edited to say:

 

This isn't one of the nastier ones. I search more when I get back.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=623494

 

Yea, and you know me...I always follow the rules! ;)

[quincytoo]

We have always liked to dine at nicer restaurants (intermixed with fast food) and traveled with our children (now ages 22, 19 and 16) and LOVED it.

 

People used to comment about how well behaved they were and how *lucky* we were....LUCK had NOTHING to do with it, we taught them from a early age no misbehaving when out for dinner or in public place. No crying, no raised voices (unless it was laughter and people around were laughing too), no throwing of objects etc, etc. Any hint of bad behaviour was nipped in the bud at once.

 

An 18 month old (maybe a bit older) can be taught that the raised eyebrow means "STOP IT NOW or when we get out of here you are in trouble" or something to that effect, if we had to carry one of them out due to bad behaviour, it usually only happened once.

 

We in turn respect that fact that they were in fact children and when we went out to eat did so before 7 or 8 PM, if doing an activity made sure they were well rested and that we had enough toys, food and things to keep them happy and sane. Just takes planning.

 

We were on the Diamond Princess last Nov and were seated with two retired couples, our 15 year old was with us and DH and I could see that the couples were clearly put out that THEY were sitting with a teenager.....until they realized that he wasn't going to eat with his mouth open, wasn't going to play offensive rap music or ask them, "How's it hanging??" But in fact was going to carry on a pleasent conversation when spoken too and over the course of the meal you could see them warming up to our son :)

 

I think people should give kids a chance to prove that they can be good and that any meltdowns however small will be quenched by the parents ASAP. No one wants to listern to a child cry.

 

We love travelling with our children and encourage everyone to do so just make sure it is pleasent for everyone around you :)

 

 

That said, I HATE seeing drunk loud vastly overweight men in speedos on the beach in Mexico causing a scene (saw it last year in Playa del Carmen) and thought, "give me a crying baby ANYTIME"

[wrp96]

The thing with Cosol is he uses multiple vans. So he most likely will put families kids in different vans than those of us without kids. As to the apples, the agricultural restrictions vary by port, most restrict it but some don't. I didn't take any off with me, but one couple with us did.

 

As to kids on a tour (or anywhere), unfortunately people make the assumption that because one child couldn't handle a bus tour, not all can. I'm a childless person myself but what I've observed onboard (and in other travels) is most families with kids have great times - and those kids are enjoyable to be around, even for those of us that don't have kids. Those are usually the families that taught their kids to behave in public, took the time to plan and consider what going on vacation meant, and took the time to choose a vacation appropriate for their family. Some kids like museums and historical sights (my brother and I did), others will be totally bored (as will some adults). Some kids can't stand beaches while some you can't keep out of the water. Some will sit still for a long dinner and enjoy eating fancy foods, others will only eat a certain brand of peanut butter and if they don't get it throw a fit. There isn't any one-size fits all answer for most things in life, especially with children.

[larronry]

CUTE new pic!!! Your baby surely has grown! And look at all that hair! :)

I decided I better put up a more current picture so the people on my roll call would actually recognize him. LOL

 

Yep it's all Carribean ports. You can't take fresh food off the ship into port. I'll see if I can track down the last massacre thread about the topic.

 

Edited to say:

 

This isn't one of the nastier ones. I search more when I get back.

 

http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=623494

I had no idea thanks for letting me know. OK no banana's but the pretzels and drinks will be fine.

 

We have always liked to dine at nicer restaurants (intermixed with fast food) and traveled with our children (now ages 22, 19 and 16) and LOVED it.

 

People used to comment about how well behaved they were and how *lucky* we were....LUCK had NOTHING to do with it, we taught them from a early age no misbehaving when out for dinner or in public place. No crying, no raised voices (unless it was laughter and people around were laughing too), no throwing of objects etc, etc. Any hint of bad behaviour was nipped in the bud at once.

 

An 18 month old (maybe a bit older) can be taught that the raised eyebrow means "STOP IT NOW or when we get out of here you are in trouble" or something to that effect, if we had to carry one of them out due to bad behaviour, it usually only happened once.

 

We in turn respect that fact that they were in fact children and when we went out to eat did so before 7 or 8 PM, if doing an activity made sure they were well rested and that we had enough toys, food and things to keep them happy and sane. Just takes planning.

 

We were on the Diamond Princess last Nov and were seated with two retired couples, our 15 year old was with us and DH and I could see that the couples were clearly put out that THEY were sitting with a teenager.....until they realized that he wasn't going to eat with his mouth open, wasn't going to play offensive rap music or ask them, "How's it hanging??" But in fact was going to carry on a pleasent conversation when spoken too and over the course of the meal you could see them warming up to our son :)

 

I think people should give kids a chance to prove that they can be good and that any meltdowns however small will be quenched by the parents ASAP. No one wants to listern to a child cry.

 

We love travelling with our children and encourage everyone to do so just make sure it is pleasent for everyone around you :)

 

 

That said, I HATE seeing drunk loud vastly overweight men in speedos on the beach in Mexico causing a scene (saw it last year in Playa del Carmen) and thought, "give me a crying baby ANYTIME"

Please please please tell me your secret. I always expect good behavior of my son, I bring toys, I give him good naps and somewhere around 13 or 14 months something just snapped and although it wasn't so bad then around 20 months it got really bad. Now I never know which child I'm bringing to a restaurant with me. He throws, he looses the toy; he misbehaves at the restaurant, we walk out; he misbehaves at the dinner table, we're done. I understand but don't accept some of his tantrums because he doesn't talk yet I give him choices when appropriate but not all the time. I suspect I loose at least 5 lbs on my cruise because of him and it's ashame because I know the food is really really good on this ship.

[CanadianTwosome]

Oh man, do we ever agree about the drunk guy, speedo or not!!

 

I also agree that it takes time and effort to teach a child proper behaviour, both at home and in public. For us, though, I really have to admit that a good part of our daughter's good behaviour really is luck - or at least genetics. Even when she was teething, we never once had to remove her from a restaurant or other venue. My neice, on the other hand, had all of us apprehensive for the first two years or so of her life because she would fly into screaming fits for no apparent reason. One day it just stopped happening - thank goodness!

 

In my opinion, you probably are lucky to some extent. Even with the most diligent of efforts, for some parents, only having to remove a child once may not have worked. So much depends on the temperament and personality of a child. I don't believe there are any children that cannot be taught proper behaviour, I just think that it's a LOT easier for some than for others. When people compliment my daughter's behaviour, I am always happy to hear it, I just think I probably can't take as much credit for it as maybe you can with your kids... and I definitely can't take as much credit as someone who starts out with a much less 'naturally calm' child. :)

[quincytoo]

I decided I better put up a more current picture so the people on my roll call would actually recognize him. LOL

 

I had no idea thanks for letting me know. OK no banana's but the pretzels and drinks will be fine.

 

Please please please tell me your secret. I always expect good behavior of my son, I bring toys, I give him good naps and somewhere around 13 or 14 months something just snapped and although it wasn't so bad then around 20 months it got really bad. Now I never know which child I'm bringing to a restaurant with me. He throws, he looses the toy; he misbehaves at the restaurant, we walk out; he misbehaves at the dinner table, we're done. I understand but don't accept some of his tantrums because he doesn't talk yet I give him choices when appropriate but not all the time. I suspect I loose at least 5 lbs on my cruise because of him and it's ashame because I know the food is really really good on this ship.

 

We used to beat them...........I am JOKING ... we used a small cattle prod.....

 

Maybe we were just lucky I don't know, I know that we were always really strict about best manners when dining out or on planes, tours, etc. I think I am talking more about not allowing the screaming, throwing, nasty temper tantrums that I see that go unheeded by some parents much to the discomfort of those around them.

 

 

We have a drama queen (came out that way and has been ever since) love her dearly but sometimes it really was hard work raising her. I remember we would sometimes have take her out of the restaurant between courses to let her run off steam.

 

One quiet, hard worker, good student never was a problem then BAM he hits 19 and OMG nasty nineteens are WAY worse then terrible twos!!! I am so looking to buy a bigger cattle prod.

 

and then the happy go lucky *baby* of the family.

 

None of them are not the perfect child by a long ways.... (I WAS ;) JOKE

 

Everyone's expectations are different too.....I always thought our expectations of how we demanded our children to behave in public were quite high. We just got back from a Mexican holiday with a group of people that included my sister and her family. Every night we had dinner at 7 and it usually went on for 1-2 hours, their 12 year old is ADHD (as is our 16 year old) anyhow they thought their son was behaving so badly that a few times they removed him from the table and then started going to the buffet because of his *horrible behaviour* The rest of us all thought he was being great!!

[larronry]

Well I know my expectations aren't too high believe me I get the stares. But I'm not the parent who will ignore it and keep eating my dinner. Now on the playground I'll ignore it. And in Walmart I'll ignore it.

 

I'm hoping if I just plan on bringing him out to run around between course maybe it will work out. I don't know if he'll have ADHD I know that in rare instances parents can say that their child was born with it or had it in utero. I can't say that. He is however a hyper two year old boy and that is probably normal. I can always have a couple of course at the same time even if I don't finish them I can at least have tastes. (I'm not used to eating all that food anyway.) This is where the walkie talkies will come in so that DH can say next course is served or where are you so we can swap and I can eat. ;)

 

BTW my mom thinks he's smart I just hope the next stage is easy because this one sure has been hard. Everyone keeps asking when I'm having the next one and I'm like year right.

 

I hope I come back from this cruise with all types of advice for the parents of a tough toddler like mine.

[crusinmama06]

Larrony - hey I had a tough toddler who became a worse preschooler!!!!! I have NO idea where this girl came from I swear. And I agree, I swear she is going to be on her way to Ritalin soon (Just kidding folks, I swear I won't drug her until she's a least 4 :p )

 

I try to be patience and say "this too shall pass". Was it your son who also had the speech prolems (sorry if I am wrong with that)? My child's therapists think it's her speech that causes her frustration. I think she is just evil....lol. ;) Our latest round of evaluations says that she might benefit from behavior therapy too. As in, she *might* have an attention problem.

 

I guess if she can sit through a cruise dinner then she can't be all bad. :)

[sas80]

Larrony - hey I had a tough toddler who became a worse preschooler!!!!! I have NO idea where this girl came from I swear. And I agree, I swear she is going to be on her way to Ritalin soon (Just kidding folks, I swear I won't drug her until she's a least 4 :p )

 

At least with anything that isn't an over the counter drug....right?! :p

 

I try to be patience and say "this too shall pass". Was it your son who also had the speech prolems (sorry if I am wrong with that)? My child's therapists think it's her speech that causes her frustration. I think she is just evil....lol. ;) Our latest round of evaluations says that she might benefit from behavior therapy too. As in, she *might* have an attention problem.

 

I guess if she can sit through a cruise dinner then she can't be all bad. :)

 

I think/can see my one year old is already experiencing frustration with his lack of ability to communicate and his very limited vocabulary, so therapist might be right.

 

I find myself telling him to use his words, even tho he really doesn't have any. I am hoping that he will connect the dots and realize that he needs to learn words in order to be able to communicate better.

[crusinmama06]

At least with anything that isn't an over the counter drug....right?! :p

 

 

 

I think/can see my one year old is already experiencing frustration with his lack of ability to communicate and his very limited vocabulary, so therapist might be right.

 

I find myself telling him to use his words, even tho he really doesn't have any. I am hoping that he will connect the dots and realize that he needs to learn words in order to be able to communicate better.

 

Yeah I know that when she is unable to grasp the words she does become very frustrated. :(

[larronry]

Larrony - hey I had a tough toddler who became a worse preschooler!!!!! I have NO idea where this girl came from I swear. And I agree, I swear she is going to be on her way to Ritalin soon (Just kidding folks, I swear I won't drug her until she's a least 4 :p )

 

I try to be patience and say "this too shall pass". Was it your son who also had the speech prolems (sorry if I am wrong with that)? My child's therapists think it's her speech that causes her frustration. I think she is just evil....lol. ;) Our latest round of evaluations says that she might benefit from behavior therapy too. As in, she *might* have an attention problem.

 

I guess if she can sit through a cruise dinner then she can't be all bad. :)

Yes I believe he has speech problems even though he was tested and was at the low end of normal. As far as the behavior therapy would you believe I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst :eek: But you can't treat your own kid let me tell you. You can't take your self out of the equation to do a proper evaluation & develop a plan. Maybe a parent who is not at home as much as I have been could but not one who is. I can develop a Verbal Behavior program for him and be objective just because of the way that program is developed and I am working on that but it is a slow and tedious process, not to develop just to progress through. I might see if I can get my neighbor to work with him to see if someone besides mommy were to try.

 

I did buy Jo Frost's book (Supernanny) book today to see what she says about toddlers since she seems to have the answers for every age. I got it at 50% off.

 

I will take pictures of things he requests so that he can easily show me when he is hungry or thirsty (some simple things) because he won't easily be able to grab his cup and hopefully that will help on the ship.

 

I thought things were getting better but last week things went down hill again. My parents were able to take me everywhere from the fanciest restaurants to museums and concerts and I so want my son to be able to experience everything I got to experience.

 

And Michelle if she can sit through a cruise dinner then I would have to wonder if she really had ADHD. TV at least has fast moving things for their brain, but what does a dining room do for their brain that is fast? Doesn't mean she doesn't have it just means it is one thing to make it less likely. But don't wait till 4th grade to get her evaluated either. My neighbor waited till the summer between 3rd and 4th and her daughter has been struggling in school for years. I would say that at the first sign of struggling in school or frustration on your daughters part it's time to get her evaluated before anger and hatred of school has time to set in.

[crusinmama06]

As far as the behavior therapy would you believe I am a Board Certified Behavior Analyst :eek:

 

Great! Wanna analyze my kid? lol ;) :D

 

As far as the cruise dinner, she can sit through an hour long dinner with LOTS of stimulation. I have to constantly entertain her through the whole meal. So I don't know if she is paying attention or if I am just great at redirecting her attention enough to get her though. We eat out alot (pretty much every day) so she gets lots of practice.

 

Stick her in a classroom though during circle time and she will be the only child running around the room. :rolleyes:

 

Oh well, I gotta love her. :)

[larronry]

Great! Wanna analyze my kid? lol ;) :D

 

As far as the cruise dinner, she can sit through an hour long dinner with LOTS of stimulation. I have to constantly entertain her through the whole meal. So I don't know if she is paying attention or if I am just great at redirecting her attention enough to get her though. We eat out alot (pretty much every day) so she gets lots of practice.

 

Stick her in a classroom though during circle time and she will be the only child running around the room. :rolleyes:

 

Oh well, I gotta love her. :)

Without actually meeting her of course it's hard to say and of course I totally get the parent thing about not wanting to put their children on meds and the meds are the easy way out. What I would suggest at this point is to educate your self on the different options that are out there so that you aren't blind sided because no matter how many times you've been warned when you actually get the diagnosis it's a major slap in the face that will throw you off balance. That said, and this is real hard because I haven't seen her in action to know how disruptive it is, I would put off the evaluation, because you don't want a label if it's a phase or stage or delay of any type. Now I'm not saying don't do speech of course. As you get closer to kindergarten you may want to research a reputable person or center to do an evaluation. Contacting the special education department at the local University might be a good source for a recommendation. I'm not saying that is when you should get her tested I'm just saying that might be when you want to start getting ready should it become necessary. It may or may not be easy to find good testing in your area. I have a feeling the NE will be easier. Florida you tend to find people with ulterior motives or they'll charge $8000 which is way way way too much.

[CanadianTwosome]

To all of you who have 'terrible toddlers' and 'evil preschoolers'...

 

Our neice (not the screamer, this one is on the 'other side') was quite possibly the most evil, devious little hellion I've ever known personally. (I've seen some pretty nasty stuff in public) She wasn't just cranky; oh no, her naughtiness came naturally and quite obviously brought her great joy!! My mother in law lamented her 'bad grandseed' and worried constantly about what was going to become of her when she got older and even harder to control (not that she was ever what I would call 'in control'). Then... a miracle occurred. Suddenly, at some point between the evil preschool stage and about 9 or 10, she became a lovely young girl. Unfortunately, I have no additional bits to add about HOW that transformation took place... I do know that at one point she got glasses and a lot of her issues at school stopped immediately... but it wasn't all about her eyesight, I know that.

 

Her parents are in the military, and my brother in law is actually fairly high up here in Canada, so we aren't talking about people who don't understand discipline and organization. She just seemed to revel in the attention and seeing how far she could push everyone. I never in a million years would have predicted that she would be one of the nicest, most polite and well behaved 12 year olds I've ever met... which she is. :)

 

So, be strong, ladies! This too shall pass!! Do your best, get the tests, read the books - and give them lots of love. Oh, and remember, to make the magic 'sit through dinner' potion, it's two parts rum and three parts warm milk... :eek: (JOKE!!!)

[crusinmama06]

T Oh, and remember, to make the magic 'sit through dinner' potion, it's two parts rum and three parts warm milk... :eek: (JOKE!!!)

 

Ok, writing that down now, so that's two parts rum.... ;)

 

Thanks Canadian - I am hoping that something magical does occur. :D