Completely Depressed & Frustrated...HELP!

[happysinglemom]

Thought I would just try and relieve some of the burden, hope you guys don't mind. My BF and I called it quits last night. 13 months, planning a future together, travel,...all gone. He's not been quite the same since he got back from GA just one month ago, and he has no explanation...just that he isn't happy about anything much these days. I can't express what he meant to me, but I will say that he was the most devoted in-love guy you could imagine. So to say I was shocked is an understatement. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut, and while I know it will heal, it hurts like hell right now.

 

I am somewhere between wanting to check my phone every 10 minutes, and wanting to haul all his sh*t from my house and dump it on his front lawn. But I am trying to resist doing either. I plan take his stuff over to his house when he is not home...and pick up mine, later this week. I don't want him at my house again...too painful to think about.

 

One "plus" to note, I am under 140 this morning - 139.4. But I have not have much of an appetite the last few days, so that's to be expected I guess. Another plus is that my pulled inner thigh seems to have healed...and I am back to a more normal running schedule. I am so thankful for having my workouts...at the gym I can forget for a while.

 

Sorry to put such a damper on the morning...I hope everyone has a great 4th planned.

[Chigirlcruzin]

Aw man, that stinks! I'm so sorry:(

[smoothdancer]

I wish I could come up with something to say that would lift your spirits...

 

Short of that, so sorry to hear for your hurt.

[Gathina]

Happy: This really stinks, I'm sorry to hear this.

 

But he said it himself, he isn't happy about anything much these days, so at least he's not blaming you. If it were me, I'd do NOTHING for a few days..don't pack up his stuff, don't call, don't drive by, nothing...the rubberband theory...let him think about things, feel the absence, and let HIM make the move for the next contact..to get his things, etc. Give time for the dust to settle to make sure that it's what he really wants...and keep doing what you are doing, focusing on yourself. You may be surprised at what happens.

 

Was he supposed to go to Paris with you?

 

Don't do anything under stress, duress, etc.

 

 

Thought I would just try and relieve some of the burden, hope you guys don't mind. My BF and I called it quits last night. 13 months, planning a future together, travel,...all gone. He's not been quite the same since he got back from GA just one month ago, and he has no explanation...just that he isn't happy about anything much these days. I can't express what he meant to me, but I will say that he was the most devoted in-love guy you could imagine. So to say I was shocked is an understatement. I feel like I've been kicked in the gut, and while I know it will heal, it hurts like hell right now.

 

I am somewhere between wanting to check my phone every 10 minutes, and wanting to haul all his sh*t from my house and dump it on his front lawn. But I am trying to resist doing either. I plan take his stuff over to his house when he is not home...and pick up mine, later this week. I don't want him at my house again...too painful to think about.

 

One "plus" to note, I am under 140 this morning - 139.4. But I have not have much of an appetite the last few days, so that's to be expected I guess. Another plus is that my pulled inner thigh seems to have healed...and I am back to a more normal running schedule. I am so thankful for having my workouts...at the gym I can forget for a while.

 

Sorry to put such a damper on the morning...I hope everyone has a great 4th planned.

[happysinglemom]

Was he supposed to go to Paris with you?

 

Thanks guys. Feeling less blue today at least. Gathina, no he wasn't going, in fact I had asked him if he wanted to when I planned the trip, and he preferred for us to plan some trips alone...somewhere warm & tropical. He had several picked out, but did not book them (he is a great procrastinator on some things). Once he was back home a week or so, and I asked about us making some plans, his reluctance to discuss detals was one of the flags that got my attention. :cool:

 

Anyway...nope...just me and the boys. Though, he did pay for my airfare - after I started booking everything, he said he wanted to pay for my ticket, and he did do that when he got back.

[Brenda33]

Happy, I am so sorry for you. I hope everything works out for you. Congrats on being under 140!!!!

 

Happy 4th of July to everyone!!!

[smoothdancer]

So who has plans for this week-end? I am so diappointed right now! We have had incredible weather here and now this whole week-end is going to be cloudy and rainy!

 

We are leaving today for Nantucket Island for 4 days with plans of beach days. On top of that it was so costly. The B&B we are styaing in cost us $500.00 a night... Oh well hoping for the best!

 

Oh yea did I show you guys my new dress? Sun or not I am wearing this to dinner one night....

[Chigirlcruzin]

That's a great dress.

 

Sorry about your weather - hope you can still enjoy the weekend. We had the opposite...rainy Mon-Wed, and gorgeous yesterday - Monday. I went downtown to watch the fireworks last night. Chicago puts on a great show. I'm going out on a friend's boat today, probably out with friends tonight (depending on how tired I am), a baptism tomorrow (my best friend's baby), another friend is having a party, and Sunday I'm going to see my sweet little nephew!

 

The little chunky monkey went to the dr on Tuesday and he's in the 90th percentile for height and 95th for weight. And at two months old, they say that he's more alert and developmentally advanced than other babies his age - he's in the five to seven month range. He got to meet his 93-year-old great grandma the other day. She's amazing. She lives in a sr facility completely independent. They have several bus trips that she attends. The latest one was to a horse show and Gurnee Mills mall. She called my dad and asked for my sister's number since she only lives 5 min from Gurnee Mills. All the other little ladies were saying how my grandma wouldn't stop talking about meeting her great grandson. What I think makes this really cute is that she has 32 other great grandchildren - it's not like she's not done this before. She's sharp as a tack and was telling my sister lots of stories about our dad when he was a baby. Oh, and if you're wondering about 33 great grandchildren, she had 7 kids that led to 21 grandchildren that had the 33 great grandchildren, and there's even 3 great great grandchildren!

 

Happy, how are you doing?

[Brenda33]

Smooth,

 

I LOVE your dress!!! I'm sure you will have a great time even in the bad weather. Hey, with less beach time, that leaves more time to eat :eek: !! LOL Have a wonderful trip!!

[smoothdancer]

Thanks. I bought that dress not having any idea where I could wear it... Well we went to Nantucket over the 4th and threw it into my suitcase.... We went to a resturant that was very "chic" and this dress was absolutley perfect!!! Dont you love it when you have just the exact perfect thing to wear??

 

I have a competltion coming up on the 17th and I have to do some serious damage control now! I really splurged this week-end. One night a chef's 7 course tasting menu, another night a "sticky coconut rice desert" that was incredible! Lots of drinks!

 

I felt a bit guilty because I had intended to show my husband who is now(or was) around 15 pounds lighter how one can go away on vacation and still maintain a new way of eating... I failed badly at this task! Anyway, loved the Island and had a great 4 day get away.

[happysinglemom]

Happy, how are you doing?

 

Strangely, I am fine. My brain must have more power than I thought. I really thought I'd be mooning around for weeks...:o Helps ever so much that my nephew is here with us this week though...not much time to be alone and think! And working out is a real lifesaver. Next week may be tough...my son leaves Friday for Alaska with his dad for 9 days. That's a lot of alone time! :(

[happysinglemom]

I felt a bit guilty because I had intended to show my husband who is now(or was) around 15 pounds lighter how one can go away on vacation and still maintain a new way of eating... I failed badly at this task! Anyway, loved the Island and had a great 4 day get away.

 

Sounds wonderful smooth - tell your hubby I said GOOD JOB on the 15 (or so) pounds! And that is a great dress...I love the leopard/cheetah prints!! Glad you had a good time. :)

[Gathina]

Oh yuck ladies...I did so well on my "braziliain foods" thing and lost about 5 lbs but got reinfested with the flu again...no gym in almost two weeks..and darling boy is coming home on leave the 2d week of August..I want to somehow lose 10 lbs fast and I'm starting to slowly feel better and hope to be in the gym on Thu....anybody have any suggestions besides killing myself at the gym? I read an article about eating fruit for a week which I like...I don't like the idea of doing Atkins with all the meat and fat. Any thoughts?? I feel so ugly when I'm sick!

 

Smooth...how's hubby doing? Happy, how's the heart? Brenda, how's your abs goal coming??

 

Help ladies! Menina

[smoothdancer]

It sounds the Mayo Clinic diet might be something that could work for you. This diet allows unlimited fruits and verggies. Here is a link for you.

http://www.everydiet.org/diet/mayo-clinic-plan.

 

My husband is doing good. He has lost 15 pounds. When we went on our little get away he gained 5, but when we came home he went right back to "the plan" and has lost what he gained. I was glad to see him getting right back on track.

[Gathina]

I plan to get back to my regualr brazilian foods way that I switched to a month ago..just want something to "clean out the yuck" inside of me before I go back. Will this work?

 

It sounds the Mayo Clinic diet might be something that could work for you. This diet allows unlimited fruits and verggies. Here is a link for you.

http://www.everydiet.org/diet/mayo-clinic-plan.

 

My husband is doing good. He has lost 15 pounds. When we went on our little get away he gained 5, but when we came home he went right back to "the plan" and has lost what he gained. I was glad to see him getting right back on track.

[bobandkelly]

I have not posted on this thread before but have been a lurker when I needed encouragement.

Menina, you have given alot of good advice on this and other threads. Now it is time for you to follow it yourself. Get back on the horse (the way that works for you.) Don't try to lose 10 quick. You will probably make yourself sick again getting rundown. You don't want to be sick when BF comes home. He would rather you healthy and probably won't even notice the weight you are worried about. (But I understand wanting to look hot when you haven't seen each other for a long time. My DH did some time in Iraq and I worked my butt off while he was gone.) Gained 10 quick when he came home! Why is it so easy to gain it buy not lose it? Don't answer that, I know.

All of my rambling means stay healthy, eat right, exercise. I am happy that you are going to get some time together with BF. Enjoy it! and thank him for serving!

Kelly

[Gathina]

Hi..you should lurk around some more! :) I think once I'm back into my gym routine that in itself will make a difference. I have a lot of muscle so fortunately I can slim fairly quick.

 

It's funny when you are sick you feel so YUCK. I caught the flu real bad at Mildenhall AFB in England over the holidays..had that for a month or so..then recaught it again in March..went away, back in June and still lurking around. I think I am rundown from so much work..I was doing a research project in the Everglades..poor air quality to boot.

 

In Jan. he showed up literally in the middle of the night for a surprise 24 hour visit on a stopover to somewhere else..I stood in the doorway in a ratty tshirt and shorts at 1am...runny nose, bedhead, not belieiving my eyes and all he could say was "oh you look so beautiful"

 

I have some more motivation.. a friend of a friend closed her dress shop..and is selling designer gowns (like Armani, etc.) for hundreds..and these dresses cost thousands..bridal...my two friends are pressing me to go look for one but I'm chicken!!

 

I have not posted on this thread before but have been a lurker when I needed encouragement.

Menina, you have given alot of good advice on this and other threads. Now it is time for you to follow it yourself. Get back on the horse (the way that works for you.) Don't try to lose 10 quick. You will probably make yourself sick again getting rundown. You don't want to be sick when BF comes home. He would rather you healthy and probably won't even notice the weight you are worried about. (But I understand wanting to look hot when you haven't seen each other for a long time. My DH did some time in Iraq and I worked my butt off while he was gone.) Gained 10 quick when he came home! Why is it so easy to gain it buy not lose it? Don't answer that, I know.

All of my rambling means stay healthy, eat right, exercise. I am happy that you are going to get some time together with BF. Enjoy it! and thank him for serving!

Kelly

[smoothdancer]

Yup, great time for BobandKelly to come out of just reading... That was a very good post.

 

So anyway I thought if you just need a jumpstart before you get back to your normal routine how about all these cleansing (sp) things I always read about.... There was one on this board a while back....

 

So with nothing to do I google a few I have heard on the radio... Good Lord they are scary! For a mere $153.00 for a two week supply you can buy the Evercleanse pills that cleans out your colan and flattens your tummy.....

 

In the end I guess this is why I have always be offended by these products and nothing takes the place of sensible eating, good work outs and AHHHHH...time!

 

Good luck M!!

[happysinglemom]

I agree - I don't think much of any "quick fixes"...the best thing I can offer here is to drink extra water...it always makes a difference for me. Not sure why other than it simply keeps my tummy full and even though it's just water, it curbs my appetite. You'll be fine M...and I also think BF won't notice a thing. ;)

 

The heart is fine...I'm mad at myself more than anything, and I hate it that I continue to think about him all the friggin' time...but it will pass. :cool: My trip is less than a month away now, so that will be my focus now.

[Gathina]

Well, no use in getting mad at yourself..you can think of it this way, he was a good preparation for Mr. Right..and when you close out a relationship on a good note somehow, you don't drag that crap into the next one.

 

I just got off the phone with my brother in Sao Paulo...for the first time in his life he's alone..he's 50 but looks like he's 34..he won some kind of kung fu championship..my brother is a true portugese James Bond..and for once doesn't have a 20 something girlfriend on his arm!! He's a shrink like me but does a ton of astrology with his work and we talked some about my upcomign birthday. Said something is supposed to happen with a man on Aug 6 or 7..of course I didnt tell him my darling was coming home..yikes!

 

Forgot to tell you someone gave me a slew of mangos from their tree so am feasting on those and watermelon this week..I eat a ton of watermelon in the summer..now that really cleanses!

 

I agree - I don't think much of any "quick fixes"...the best thing I can offer here is to drink extra water...it always makes a difference for me. Not sure why other than it simply keeps my tummy full and even though it's just water, it curbs my appetite. You'll be fine M...and I also think BF won't notice a thing. ;)

 

The heart is fine...I'm mad at myself more than anything, and I hate it that I continue to think about him all the friggin' time...but it will pass. :cool: My trip is less than a month away now, so that will be my focus now.

[Brenda33]

Hi all.....Well I know that weight loss does not always come quickly!!! It just took me over a month to lose one pound!!! BUT.....that being said, I am FINALLY 118!!!!!! I am gaining more and more muscle all the time too. I am so happy I started this and I will never go back to being unhealthy and flabby again!!!

[bobandkelly]

Congratulations Brenda! Not on getting skinny, that should never be the goal. But on getting healthy! It looks like you are well on your way to maintaining the New You! Keep up the good work!

 

Since I posted on here the other day I thought I'd come on and share something I learned (you may have seen it on the news too.) NYC has passed a law that restaurants have to post the calorie count of all of their foods. In the article people were surprised to see how many calories were in many of the foods. It is like many of us have been saying, cut back on portions. I wish this were a law everywhere. In the article TGIF has a salad with pecan crusted chicken, mandarin oranges, cranberries. It was over 1300 cal. while a burger & fries was less than the salad. How many people would pick the salad thinking it was healthier. Granted the idea of it is but the size they give you is not. I have had it and it is huge! Half would be more than enough. We have become a country of overeaters. Let's keep encouraging those on these boards and our families & friends to eat healthy and live well.

Thanks for letting me rant,

Kelly

[happysinglemom]

Congratulations Brenda!

 

Here here!! I second that!!!

 

NYC has passed a law that restaurants have to post the calorie count of all of their foods.

 

Wow - that is great news. Hopefully other cities will follow suit...it will take time, but we have to start somewhere!!!

[Brenda33]

Well its obvious that stopping the healthy lifestyle on vacation has its price. Yep, it sucks. I gained 4 pounds on vacation!!! I am not going to beat myself up. I look at it as a learning experience. I thought that possibly I could slide by....WRONG. I am now making plans for eating for my next vacation. This will NOT happen again.

[happysinglemom]

Well its obvious that stopping the healthy lifestyle on vacation has its price. Yep, it sucks. I gained 4 pounds on vacation!!! I am not going to beat myself up. I look at it as a learning experience. I thought that possibly I could slide by....WRONG. I am now making plans for eating for my next vacation. This will NOT happen again.

 

Yep...it really does not take much to gain...unfortunately many get discouraged and fall off after sliding, so you are taking the right attititude!! Learn from it and move on. :) Where was vacation? Did you cruise?

 

How is everyone else??? I popped back up to around 140-141, and been sitting there pretty steady, so I need to buckle back down. Been enjoying the nice beach weather here lately - love that bikini tan!!! :D