Guidelines for your teenager...

[mousey]

One other important rule I made for my son was not only not to go in anyone's cabin but also not to go anywhere with a crew member. I said if they invite you to see their cabin or to see a private part of the ship that is only for crew members you are not to go, even if you are with friends. I also agree with the other post as big as the ships are we always seemed to bump into the kids.

 

This is a "great rule". On my first cruise, when I was 19, a member of the ship's band tried to get me into his room with the excuse "I just need to change out of my uniform". Right!!! I ran away from him as fast as I could and never spoke to him again!!!

 

Our DS is now 13. His rules are similar to the ones above.

 

No going into anyone's cabin, and no one comes into ours without our permission.

 

Nothing gets charged to the room card without getting permission first.

 

He must check in with us every couple of hours via walkie-talkie.

 

We would never allow him to leave the ship without us!:eek: Maybe when he's 18. Depends on how responsible he has proven himself to be.

 

And, I will never sign anything giving him the right to drink at 18. As far as I'm concerned he doesn't drink until he's 21 (unless he's with us and we give him permission to have a little wine) but he has to be at least 18 for even that.

 

He doesn't have a curfew on the ship. We judge what time he has to be in the room by what we are all doing at the time. I've never even heard that teens had a curfew. No one has ever bothered our DS about being out alone late at night without an adult.

 

Must have dinner with us as a family at dinner and breakfast (this is sometimes negotiable). Lunch is optional.

 

Must always treat everyone else, young or old, with respect, and display good manners at all times.

 

Our DS has proven to be very responsible, and we have never had a problem with him obeying these rules.

 

If you ever did see my kid misbehaving:eek: ...I would want to know immediately as bad behavior is just not acceptable to us!:D

[mousey]

Wow, I completely forgot about the "drug" thing since our son has never been off the ship without us. The DH and I, over the years, have been approached many times, both in the Caribbean and Mexico, and have been asked if we would like to buy drugs! That is one rule I will definitely add to our list. When the time comes that we feel he is able to go ashore on his own, or with a friend, I will make sure he knows to say "NO!" and walk away if he is ever asked about drugs, or anything illegal! Thanks for the reminder!!!!:D Gosh, we parents should get gold medals!!!!!!!;)

[RatherBFishin]

Do any of you have any hard and fast rules for your children's safety while on a cruise? Do you sit them down and fill them on the rules? We are first timers and want to make sure they will be safe. For instance...age appropriate curfew, or a rule to always be with a friend at night and not alone. What other things do we need to be thinking about and have a plan for? Thank you.:)

 

I didn't read everyone elses posts (arguing about kids gives me a royal headache). But last year I went on a 5 day cruise with my two (ages 12 & 14).

 

I only had 4 rules:

 

- No going into anyone else's cabin. This is where the most potential for bad situations comes up.

 

- Be Back by 1am.

 

- Leave a Post-It note on the dresser letting me know where you'll be in case of an emergency.

 

- Don't do anything that would ruin another Passengers vacation. Ie. running down the hallways, excesive monkey business, etc.

 

I also told then that I would prefer we ate dinner together, which we ended up doing every night.

 

The kids had a ball, and there were no issues (except my son missing curfew one night, whic I let slide).

[MNfamilycruiser]

I didn't read everyone elses posts (arguing about kids gives me a royal headache). But last year I went on a 5 day cruise with my two (ages 12 & 14).

 

I only had 4 rules:

 

- No going into anyone else's cabin. This is where the most potential for bad situations comes up.

 

- Be Back by 1am.

 

- Leave a Post-It note on the dresser letting me know where you'll be in case of an emergency.

 

- Don't do anything that would ruin another Passengers vacation. Ie. running down the hallways, excesive monkey business, etc.

 

I also told then that I would prefer we ate dinner together, which we ended up doing every night.

 

The kids had a ball, and there were no issues (except my son missing curfew one night, whic I let slide).

I read all the posts...and there has been no arguing what-so-ever!:D

There is remarkable agreement and very similar rules.

 

My girls were only 6 and 8 our last cruise, 9 and 11 for the upcoming one - so we haven't had to implement any rules yet. But I loved reading all the suggestions - and will keep them in mind for the future. Thanks to everyone who responded with such excellent advise:)

 

To the OP - I see when you listed your children's ages - you have several children of similar ages ;) - that will make it easier for you. They should be able to stick together somewhat, and watch out for each other. A built-in buddy system!

[walkman4]

Yes, we do. Some are our kids and some my brothers. They are going to have fun together. Thanks to everyone who had such great suggestions! I appreciate it so much. You guys are wonderful. We are off in the morning and heading to Florida! We board on Sunday and are cruising to the Caribbean! (Never been there...heard it's pretty.) Blessings to you all. :D :D

[Carnival Game]

I wouldn't let a 12-13 year old wander around at 1:00-2:00 AM. No reason they need to be out that late.

[Fergus]

Thank you all for this thread - lots of great ideas. I started on a rules list last night and sent it out to the moms. I think we are going to take the girls all out to dinner to discuss it/negotiate. If they start getting the rules in their heads BEFORE we arrive at the ship and all the adrenaline is pumping, they might retain them better! :D That will also give us moms a chance to make sure we are all on the same page with what we feel comfortable with. I have a feeling we have a couple who will tend to be a little more relaxed and a couple who will be extremely uptight with the girls doing anything out of our sight. With our girls' disabilities, they will tend to forget the rules and can also be somewhat impulsive, so the more we review the rules the better!!

[nybumpkin]

My firm three rules were:

Dinner - every night - be there. If by some wild chance you wanted to eat with friends, which they rarely did, then fine. But I better see you at the dining room to clear it first.

This brought to mind another reminder if your kids have cell phones and are relying on them for the time - if the ship changes time zones, the phone may automatically change the time even if the ship stays on the departure port's time. We also have the dining rule for our oldest son; in February, after we departed Cozumel, he didn't show up for dinner. About an hour into dinner he came up to our table, dressed for dinner and looking very confused. Yes, he thought it was an hour earlier - that's what his phone told him! Make sure the kids rely on the ship's clock and not just their cell phones.

[Lowie]

my only other addition to this is to make sure your kids understand that NOTHING is to be thrown overboard.

 

and as for a pp, i don't see any reason at all why a 12 or 14 year old should have the run of the ship until 1 a.m. my daughter was able to go to dinner with kids she met at the kids club and maybe go to a show in a group, but not just left to her own devices.. anyone have that link to the girl and boy who met up at the hotub and got lured into a cabin and forced to have sex?

[satxdiver]

On the ships we have been sailing, around 11:00 PM or so, excluding any ship wide entertainment such as parades or parties, it gets really quiet on the ship. Most of the pax have either gone to bed or are in their staterooms. All that is left lurking around is the heavy duty party pax in the lounges imbibing and the ship's clean up crew. The cleaning crew does not pay attention to what the pax are doing and are not exactly highly paid in their jobs. They will not be watching your kid. The decks that have access to the railings will probably be deserted. I personally would not want my kid wandering around a now pretty much vacant ship at will during the late hours. Bad things usually happen late at night.

[KC_fn]

I posted my rules someplace around here, but to recap:

 

*Except in the cabin, she had to be with someone from our party at all times.

*She had to stay in well-populated public areas.

*We had pre-appointed meeting times/places (2-3 hours)

*She was not allowed to go into anyone's cabin, or in the hallway outside their cabin, except with my prior permission.

*She was not allowed to have anyone in our cabin unless I was there. When alone in the cabin, she was not allowed to open the door for anyone, including friends or crew.

*No hanging over railings, or joy-riding on elevators.

*Curfew was 1:00 (for an almost-16-year-old)

*She had a daily spending budget and was expected to stay within it. She could spend it however she wanted. If she stay under budget on a given day, the balance carried forward.

*She was expected to treat crew with respect, and fellow passengers with consideration.

*She was expected to contain her mess in the cabin.

 

Here's the kicker: The penalty for infraction was that she would have to spend the following 24 hours with Mom. :eek:

[bojomitch]

While we don't travel with teens any longer, I do feel that the rule of NOT going to a crew members cabin is a very important one. :) :) :)

[CruisnGram]

The rules about sticking together and not going to a crew cabin should apply to even older females. On our recent cruise, my dd (21,) neice (19) and friend (almost 18) were warned by all of us that they really should stick together late at night. A single, young female, even one of legal age, should be as careful on a cruise ship as she would be walking on a street alone, late at night. Thank goodness our young women agreed with us and were careful to not go anywhere out of the way, late at night, alone. It's just common sense but some young people just don't understand how dangerous a situation can become.

[srlafleur]

some young people just don't understand how dangerous a situation can become.

and sometimes not-so-young! Anything that you would consider risky behavior on land is also risky on a cruise ship! It may feel safer. Let's face it, it starts to feel like home, but it really is a good-sized town full of strangers, some of whom may exhibit bad judgement, at the very least.

[Racegoer]

For the most part the teens we have seen are better than some of the other age groups we have encountered. Guess the one thing I see teens doing that shouldn't is hanging out on the steps, other than that they seem to mostly be good kids. Went on The NCL Pearl recently and mom & dad had their 2 kids in the Japanese restaurant and I felt bad because after the meal was over we didn't compliment the parents on how well their kids acted. It was fun to watch them try to eat with chopsticks (same for me) and say yes Sir and No Mam to the staff. .

[LHP]

This is a great thread with some very important tips.

 

I would like to add that all parents should have a very serious talk with their children of all ages who will be roaming about the ship.

 

Some of these ships are the size of small towns....and while the staff and crew have been thoroughly checked out....the passengers have not.

 

You never know who (or what) is in the cabin across the hallways. Unfortunately, in today's world, there have been to many child predators whose computers have contained film and video of them on cruise ships SURROUNDED by kids. And some of these kids had "some kind of drink" in their hand.

 

While we want to be light hearted and carefree on our vacation, we must remind our children that they must have their radar on. Even traveling in groups (according to these pictures and video) do not immune kids from being exposed to predators.

 

We have been cruising with our boys since they were 5 and 8. We set clear boundaries. Until they were in their middle teens....if they were not with us or in Camp Carnival...they were in the cabin asleep. They knew that 10PM meant quiet time in the cabin hallways and the cabin if they were in there.

 

Even our oldest (now 20) fully understands what he will face should he come in after I do and make the mistake of waking me up!!!

 

22 cruises later, this has been a great experience for them both. They have learned responsibility and earned privileges from being responsible. They have always known that they are expected to behave on the ship the same way they do at home....because if not...(at both places) they answer to me.

(and I know the meaning of the word consequences)

 

They are not perfect, but have made us very proud now that they are grown and they managed to do all this and still have a great time.

[cusyl]

A female was missing on our ship at 4:30 am this morning. I was not able to find out any more information about her. I am assuming they would search all the open decks and public rooms before they would wake everyone on the ship at that early hour with the in cabin announcements.

 

We saw some 13 - 14 year old girls riding in the elevator in Cozumel who were intoxicated. I am assuming they got into the parent's stash while they were in town and left them on the ship.

 

Unfortunately, my grand daughter was too shy to meet anyone in the teen club. So, I followed her around the ship at night and went to the shows with her.

[janetz]

I could never fall to sleep until my DD was in the cabin. So she never stays out very late. ;)

[ggprincess2004]

We all seem to be in agreement here. The rules for our kids (now 20) have been (and they were teenagers when we started cruising with them) first the three toddler rules:

1. Be polite

2. Don't whine

3. Don't make a mess.

 

Then we come to the rest for onboard ship:

 

Keep us posted on where you are during the day on sea days

Only go ashore with us, be ready on time, dressed appropriately and have a good attitude (or we will create on for you:eek: )

No booze unless we offer you wine in the stateroom - and only in the stateroom

No going to anyone else's cabin or crew cabin, no one else in your cabin

Dinner all together unless you ask permission and give us a good reason - we will be the judge of whether it is a good reason or not

From diiner time on, you two are joined at the hip - do not go anywhere alone. If one of you wants to call it a night, the other one is done for the night too.

Disobediance - no more cruises, and for the balance of the cruise you will be with mom and dad all the time, which means getting up for breakfast in the dining room. That breakfast thing alone is enough to strike terror in the heart of any teenager worth his or her salt.:)

[KC_fn]

We all seem to be in agreement here. The rules for our kids (now 20) have been (and they were teenagers when we started cruising with them) first the three toddler rules:

1. Be polite

2. Don't whine

3. Don't make a mess.

 

Then we come to the rest for onboard ship:

 

Keep us posted on where you are during the day on sea days

Only go ashore with us, be ready on time, dressed appropriately and have a good attitude (or we will create on for you:eek: )

No booze unless we offer you wine in the stateroom - and only in the stateroom

No going to anyone else's cabin or crew cabin, no one else in your cabin

Dinner all together unless you ask permission and give us a good reason - we will be the judge of whether it is a good reason or not

From diiner time on, you two are joined at the hip - do not go anywhere alone. If one of you wants to call it a night, the other one is done for the night too.

Disobediance - no more cruises, and for the balance of the cruise you will be with mom and dad all the time, which means getting up for breakfast in the dining room. That breakfast thing alone is enough to strike terror in the heart of any teenager worth his or her salt.:)

 

Just out of curiosity -- how old were they at the time?

[airlink diva]

In 2005 my family had their family reunion on a cruise. At this time we had close to 10 family members from 12 to 18. They were given rules that the majority of the other posters had listed.

Only one of my cousins decided to break the rules and he lost his freedom for 24 hours. He had to hang with my grandmother and her sister (85 and 78 years old) all day long. This was the day that the ship was in the Caymans and that meant no Stingray city and no hanging out at the pool after port. Once he was "freed" it was like a changed person.

If your teens know the rules that you set and know you are going to enfore it, no problems. I stated that cruising is a wonderful way for families to travel together and have fun.