bvfrenchknitter Posted September 7, 2008 #1 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I'm not trying to cause trouble or offend people; I'd just like some opinions. I've cruised many times on Princess with my Mom and had a great time. We always eat traditional dining. This time is different because my wife is coming with us. My mom is a little uneasy about my identifying her as such. I have no problem with being out of the closet but have had to be careful in the past sometimes. Do you think it is likely to cause problems if we identify ourselves? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CroneWynd Posted September 7, 2008 #2 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I can't for the life of me imagine why it would be a problem? Perhaps if your tablemates end up being of a particularly narrow viewpoint, perhaps, but a word with the maitre 'd and you can have your table assignment changed. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cdngrl Posted September 7, 2008 #3 Share Posted September 7, 2008 the ship will probably have pretty much the same cross-section of people you'd come across in your town. a handful may be shocked but most won't care. you are obviously a very considerate person not wanting to offend anyone, but on your vacation you should get to be yourself. i hope that mom sees you and your wife in a loving relationship taking care of each other and relaxes about it. its just not a big deal. i hope you have a fabulous time. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
California Native Posted September 7, 2008 #4 Share Posted September 7, 2008 wouldn't even phase me or my husband or MY MOM! I hate to have a straight couple get all mush face in front of me with total disregard of the dining venue. .I would hold you both to the same standard! :) BTW, when I was a single girl some of THE BEST relationship advice I ever received was 15 years ago from a gay couple who had been together for 20 years....I will always be indebted to those guys.. as they were pivotal in how I handled all of my future dates and eventually into the arms of my prince charming! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cobra427SC Posted September 7, 2008 #5 Share Posted September 7, 2008 As far as we're concerned (my wife and I are elite Princess cruisers, and straight) we feel strongly that you should take whomever you'd like, have a great time and don't worry about any of the narrow-minded, prejudiced and intolerant views we all see in our daily lives. You'd be welcome at our table anytime. Have a great time and don't give it a second thought. bj and s Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cruisin' Chick Posted September 7, 2008 #6 Share Posted September 7, 2008 My hubby and I are a straight couple that isn't opposed to gay marriage at all. Even my 11-yr-old has been taught that it's none of our business and certainly not any of the government's business. AS stated above, if you end up at a table with narrow-minded people and feel uncomfortable, you can ask for a change. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bvfrenchknitter Posted September 7, 2008 Author #7 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I'm not too concerned about offending people except in as much as it upsets my mother. Thanks for all the positive responses. BTW we aren't much for over the top public affection but we are planning on dancing. Is the skywalker club a disco? My wife loves disco and I love the venue. I've never gone there at night though. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
California Native Posted September 7, 2008 #8 Share Posted September 7, 2008 yep skywalkers is a disco...so you are going to dance together ...big deal...i danced with my girlfriends when the boys were too afraid to ask us. so about your mom...how about this ...since this is a time for the 3 of you to be together...difer to your mom's wishes..it won't kill you.. Let's do a mock run through... here's the scenario...my mom and i were sharing a table with the 3 of you. you introduced me to your wife as say my good friend, I would probably figure it out...but I would keep with the good friend introduction..because it's none of my business.. we then run into you and your wife without your mom..you can then say if you wish. that you are married, but my mom is still coming to terms with it and sharing that with strangers so we say good friends.. that way you haven't minimized your relationship, but you are being respectful to your mom. you never know how long your mom will be around, so let this cruise be joyful for her not stressful. Also, really give your mom credit here...because for her generation this is still kindof a new thing to accept and to come to terms with.. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina G Posted September 7, 2008 #9 Share Posted September 7, 2008 You will not be the only gay couple onboard. Princess has get aquainted meetings for "Friends of Dorothy" where you can meet others if you like, but most Princess cruisers are educated open-spirited people who will welcome you. If you come across one who does not, move on. Most cruisers are cool with this. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
skf Posted September 7, 2008 #10 Share Posted September 7, 2008 About the worst thing that has happened to us is that at dinner, twice on the same cruise we had couples ignore us completely and then never come back. We can live with that. Steve & Pete Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul929207 Posted September 7, 2008 #11 Share Posted September 7, 2008 My guess is that you would get the same reactions on a ship that you get everywhere. Some will embrace you, others will be polite, and a few will be rude. Hopefully, the first group is the biggest & the last group is not seen often. Have a great cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
juliejoe Posted September 7, 2008 #12 Share Posted September 7, 2008 When my husband and I introduce ourselves, I don't think our relationship is very often a part of that introduction. I am simply Julie, he is Joe. We might be living together, we might be brother and sister, friends, neighbors - who knows. Since "wife" bothers your mom, just use names and eliminate a description of your relationship. Have a great cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Spikesgirl Posted September 7, 2008 #13 Share Posted September 7, 2008 On our first cruise, we had a gay couple at our table and they were a hoot. We started just hanging around with them because they were so much fun. The funny thing now is that our son has come out and I couldn't be happier. As long as he's a good man and has someone to love, that's all I ask for in life. To heck with the others, the narrow-minded bints, and have a lovely cruise Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Luckyroot Posted September 7, 2008 #14 Share Posted September 7, 2008 so about your mom...how about this ...since this is a time for the 3 of you to be together...difer to your mom's wishes..it won't kill you..Let's do a mock run through... here's the scenario...my mom and i were sharing a table with the 3 of you. you introduced me to your wife as say my good friend, I would probably figure it out...but I would keep with the good friend introduction..because it's none of my business.. we then run into you and your wife without your mom..you can then say if you wish. that you are married, but my mom is still coming to terms with it and sharing that with strangers so we say good friends.. that way you haven't minimized your relationship, but you are being respectful to your mom. you never know how long your mom will be around, so let this cruise be joyful for her not stressful. Also, really give your mom credit here...because for her generation this is still kindof a new thing to accept and to come to terms with.. Initially I had a bit of a problem with this poster assuming your situation, but after re-reading your post, and this one, I think it's a very good scenario and shows respect for both your mother and your wife. I'm sure you will have a wonderful time with the 2 most important women in your life! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
billie5 Posted September 7, 2008 #15 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I could not care less if a couple is gay or heterosexual. However, I am confused as to why this is a problem. My wife and I have been on 20 some cruises, and when we can, we always ask for a sharing table. Consequently, we are always introducing ourselves. It is always (for me): "I am Bill and this is Barbara. We are from Virginia." I have never felt to elaborate "my wife Barbara." If anything, that seems a bit degrading. We have been happily married for 40 years, but Barbara is a lot more than my wife. She is her own person as well. Bill Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sunsurf Posted September 7, 2008 #16 Share Posted September 7, 2008 On our first cruise, we had a gay couple at our table and they were a hoot. We started just hanging around with them because they were so much fun. The funny thing now is that our son has come out and I couldn't be happier. As long as he's a good man and has someone to love, that's all I ask for in life. To heck with the others, the narrow-minded bints, and have a lovely cruise If only there were more people our there like you in this crazy world of ours. To the OP... go out and enjoy your vacation & I hope it works out with your mom. This cruise may just be the one that changes the way she feels...in a good way. We would welcome you & your loved one..and your mom too at our table anytime! :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
wedding96 Posted September 7, 2008 #17 Share Posted September 7, 2008 My partner and I travel every December with my parents around their anniversary. We also have a one year old son whom we adopted at birth; this December will be his first cruise (on the Ruby). My parents could not be prouder. We always just introduce ourselves by our first names and everyone usually figures it out. It gets a little more complicated now that we have a child so it is not uncommon to be asked questions like, "Where is his mother?" or "Where are the parents?" to which we obviously respond with the truth. I have NEVER had any negative reaction. Rather, people usually ooh and aah over our son and our sexuality becomes a non-issue. I am certainly not trying to minimize your concern as any gay person/couple struggles with how to handle these awkward moments. But hopefully as you do it more and more you will begin to feel more empowered and at ease. Have a great cruise! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandytoes Posted September 7, 2008 #18 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I I have no problem with being out of the closet but have had to be careful in the past sometimes. Do you think it is likely to cause problems if we identify ourselves? What do you care about how others see you? If you have no problem - that's great! They are the one's who have a problem. Wouldn't you say? :rolleyes: Go and enjoy your cruise!!!! :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vickie_bernie Posted September 7, 2008 #19 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I introduce my hubby as Bernie and when I refer to my him I always use "partner" I don't like labels. How do you introduce her when you are at home? Just use the same. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DonnaK Posted September 7, 2008 #20 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I agree with those who say to just introduce yourselves by name, as most heterosexual couples do. No need to label the person as your wife or spouse upfront. People will figure it out, and as conversations move forward beyond superficial introductions, you can then explain further as the situation warrants. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CruiseBumm Posted September 7, 2008 #21 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Like everybody else, the compainons one chooses are their choice and shoould not bother others. I always say live and let live. Lets just agree not to talk polotics or religon and all will be well. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bvfrenchknitter Posted September 7, 2008 Author #22 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Thank you. I like the idea of just introducing ourselves by name. That's what people usually do. Since we both wear matching wedding rings it shouldn't be a problem to figure out. My mom loves my wife and was the one that invited my wife along when she heard that my wife had always wanted to go to Asia. She's becoming comfortable with it but she's almost 80 and it takes time to change a lifetime of ideas. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Woodmnky Posted September 7, 2008 #23 Share Posted September 7, 2008 Enjoy what is sure to be a wonderful cruise full of great memories for all three of you. I agree that I would simply introduce your wife by name. If you sense that everyone, including your mother, will be comfortable later on with more endearing terms then by all means. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
caribbean blue for me Posted September 7, 2008 #24 Share Posted September 7, 2008 One of my best friends is gay. He is one that is OBVIOUSLY gay and we both crack up when people feel the need to ask about it. Usually they try to sidebar with me and get the scoop on him. Depending on who is I have two replies. If they are asking in a kind way I will laugh and say "Oh yes, he is WAYYYYY gay. Queer and they come"...which usually sets them at ease. If I think they are being judgmental jerks I will answer "GAY??? What are you suggesting? You think he might be GAY??:eek: " and make then get all apologetic. For the record, I am a straight married Christian. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Floflegs Posted September 7, 2008 #25 Share Posted September 7, 2008 I'm sure the majority of people will be happy to share a table with you. We would certainly have no problem with it and treat you as new friends we look forward to getting to know. Just be yourselves. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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