GLBT question

[Pam in CA]

There are some jerks who would be offended if your eyes were crossed, never mind gay. I'm sure you experience them every day and unfortunately, being on a cruise often reflects real life. Yes, there may be some who are uncomfortable but overall, people accept you for who you are. If you find yourself seated with people you and/or your Mom are uncomfortable with, ask to be changed. They're not worth your time and effort.

[flag fan]

I don't have much to add except that I've noticed that newlyweds seem to get a kick out of describing the person they are with as their wife or husband, but that special little thrill seems to wear off pretty quickly. 90% of people will be able to figure out which people are couples, wedding band or not, and another 9% won't because they are so self-focused on their own vacation that don't give much thought to what others are up to. That last 1%--keep them guessing; it will give them something to puzzle out between trivia contests. (If the subject comes up, by all means be honest, but I'd be very surprised if anyone actually asked (with the possible exception of some other gay couple).)

[resstation]

WOW!! What wonderful, beautiful replies. I wasn't expecting them. I actually had tears (of joy) in my eyes reading them.

 

I'm SO glad to hear that (some) people are finally accepting of gay people. Personally, whenever I've met anyone, it has never occured to me to wonder if they were gay or not. Some twenty years ago when I was working at a hotel we had a front desk agent who was obviously openly gay and had a wedding ring on. For the life of me I never put two and two together and when I finally saw a picture of the couple I was dumbfounded. I actually asked the guy who the person was and when he said it was his partner and he was married it finally clicked. He got such a hoot out of that. Everyone at work teased me for months. I admit, I should have known - but I never meet anyone and think "oh he/she is gay" or whatever. To each his own. I would hate to have my life under a microscope.

 

When I meet someone and others say "he/she is gay", I wonder why in the world should that be important to me? So? Should I introduce myself by saying "Hi, I'm Olga and I'm heterosexual". How silly.

 

I have a 9 year old son. I don't care who he falls in love with as long as they respect him (and us).

 

Have a wonderful trip. We would LOVE to have you and your mom at our table should we ever cross paths!

[thatlauragirl]

My partner and I travel every December with my parents around their anniversary. We also have a one year old son whom we adopted at birth; this December will be his first cruise (on the Ruby). My parents could not be prouder. We always just introduce ourselves by our first names and everyone usually figures it out. It gets a little more complicated now that we have a child so it is not uncommon to be asked questions like, "Where is his mother?" or "Where are the parents?" to which we obviously respond with the truth. I have NEVER had any negative reaction. Rather, people usually ooh and aah over our son and our sexuality becomes a non-issue. I am certainly not trying to minimize your concern as any gay person/couple struggles with how to handle these awkward moments. But hopefully as you do it more and more you will begin to feel more empowered and at ease. Have a great cruise!

 

Thank you for making the decision to adopt! I've spent a lot of volunteer time abroad with children, and it always brings tears to my eyes to see children who end up in wonderful homes with loving parents.

 

To the OP, is your mom worried about the reaction from others? Maybe when she sees that the large majority of people are open-minded and it's a non-issue, she'll relax a little bit. Either way, I hope all 3 of you have a fabulous cruise!!!

[resstation]

I'm probably showing my ignorance again, sorry, but what does GLBT mean?

[cdngrl]

To the OP, is your mom worried about the reaction from others? Maybe when she sees that the large majority of people are open-minded and it's a non-issue, she'll relax a little bit. Either way, I hope all 3 of you have a fabulous cruise!!!

to the op--your mom is almost 80 and you're right a lifetime of teachings to try and turn around. i'm sure she's just worried for you, doesn't want people to hurt your feelings. sounds like she's come to 'terms' with it in private. i agree with thatlauragirl--perhaps your mom seeing how accepting others are, will become more comfortable with your relationship in public. btw add me to the list of people who would welcome you at our table. i've always said as long as my children find someone to love who loves and respects them-what more could i ask for as a parent?

[cdngrl]

I'm probably showing my ignorance again, sorry, but what does GLBT mean?

gay lesbian bisexual transexual/transgender

(had to google the 't' part. knew it didn't mean trisexual :))

[caribbean blue for me]

Will people be offended? Only if you wear jeans. :D

[resstation]

gay lesbian bisexual transexual/transgender

(had to google the 't' part. knew it didn't mean trisexual :))

 

 

Thank you. It took me forever to figure out what ROFL meant! I'm only 42 but I feel so old. Sheesh.

[cdngrl]

i'm 46 and usually have to ask my 18 yo son what the appreviations are!

[bvfrenchknitter]

Will people be offended? Only if you wear jeans. :D

 

I don't wear jeans in the dining room so I guess I'm safe. <g>

[sexyaznboy]

Hey bvfrenchknitter

 

I'm SO glad you brought up this topic. I'm going on Princess in October and although I'm single and bringing my mom, this is my first time on this cruiseline.

 

It is very nice to see how open minded this board is. I have often wondered whether it is necessary to come out to your dining mates and whether that will affect the enjoyment of the cruise if you get attitude. I say do what makes you most comfortable. There is always the chance you will get the few people who will be homophobic, but it really is THEIR problem and not yours (easier said then done, and I respect you for respecting your mom so much).

 

From what you have posted, it would be a distinct PLEASURE for you and your wife to be sitting at our table. Good luck to you. You might want to check out the G and L message boards as well. Most of all happy cruising to you! Its your vacation!;)

[NCMtnBoys]

The funny thing now is that our son has come out and I couldn't be happier. As long as he's a good man and has someone to love, that's all I ask for in life.

 

Agreed. Someone to love, and someone to love HIM.

 

To venture off topic for just a moment, parents always want what's best for their children, and denying children their true identity is so suppressing for that child. I'm gay, have a partner, but have no children. However, having begun the journey as an out gay man 8 years ago, I can tell you that the unconditional support and acceptance received from family and friends is something that is yearned for (yet not always received) by everyone who begins the journey. I've been lucky to receive the support and acceptance during my journey. But the journey is never over for GLBT people. Along with triumphs there are also hurdles. One of the hurdles can be trying to gain the acceptance from strangers. We may be gay, but above all else we, too, are human beings. We're your children, your neighbors, your co-workers, the guy down at the corner store, the police officer patroling your neighborhood. We just want to go through life with the same opportunities and equalities as everyone else.

 

Spikesgirl, thank you for showing your child the support and acceptance he yearns for. I wish all parents did!

 

And thank you to everyone else for your positive viewpoints! My partner and I would be happy to share a table with you anytime.

 

Now...to the OP...I've always introduced myself and partner by just our first names when in the company of straight people. Even when I wasn't officially out to my extended family and we attended a family function, I introduced him by just his first name...I figured they could figure it out.

 

I hope you have a terrific cruise!

 

Jon and Mark

[teripp]

Someone somewhere will always have an opinion that is not of a positive light. Just go with the flow and be youself. If you dont like your table at dinner change it for the next time. There are people who dont like me cause I am a size 18 and not an 8.Just go have fun and to heck with what others think. If there are issues maybe mom will be more comfortable a cruise that caters to you and your partner...

[CroneWynd]

gay lesbian bisexual transexual/transgender

(had to google the 't' part. knew it didn't mean trisexual :))

Ah, see, now I'm disappointed. I thought I was a MEMBER of the GLBT community, cuz if it's sexual, I'll try it! :p

 

:eek: whooops!! did I say that out loud??!?!!!

[Cruisin' Chick]

Some years ago I was working on a school committee that had mostly women on it. One of our most valuable members was a single man who had adopted two boys with major problems (the one in my girl's grade had major ADHD problems so I really admired this guy's patience). Once he wasn't there at a meeting, and someone mentioned that he was considering adopting another kid. Those of use who knew said that's great (anyone of us would jump at giving him a recommendation). Someone new to our group asked if he was married. At that point, many of us, giggled, as we all figured he was gay. To us, it wasn't a problem at all that he was a dad as he was an excellent one. And a nice guy.

[Carnival Game]

When I'm getting introduced to someone I like to hear, "This is my friend" or "This is my sister". Otherwise I'm wondering, "What are they to you?" On the last cruise I didn't introduce Dan as "my son" and I could tell our tablemates were unsure whether I was an older woman robbing the cradle or what. After a few days they finally asked what our relationship was, and seemed relieved!

[pancakegfc]

My partner/wife and I have been together for 8 years. 5 years ago, we had our committment ceremony in our Church with 150 family and friends attending and celebrating with us. After that, we went on a cruise as a honeymoon and did not tell a soul that we were celebrating our committment ceremony/marriage....and ever since then, I've been really disappointed in us. We were at that time "out" everywhere...work, church, family, friends.....but it was really intimidating to tell people we did not know. I wish that we had....we've been on several cruises since then and I have always introduced Donna as my partner or wife....and have had no issues with anybody.

 

But, if I was with my parents and they had issues, I would just introduce Donna as Donna. People are alot more savvy about these things then we give them credit for and usually figure out that Donna is my partner/wife.

[sultan_sfo]

On one Princess cruise, a couple had signed up for an anniversary. The waiters were initially confused when they came to the dining table with the cake to sing Happy Anniversary for Mark & Max but recovered quickly to start singing! A group of us straight and GL were together sightseeing on most ports -- especially Vigeland Park in Oslo.

 

...

Do you think it is likely to cause problems if we identify ourselves?