The demise of formal night

[twinkletoes4445]

Hi we are very new for cruising the Jan 3 Noordam southern carribeea n will be our very first cruise I just have a question my hubby packed few dark suit and tie and I willbring few formal black dressed we are fine my question is regarding the 9 year old daughter what is the appropriate attire since she does not have any long gowns she is only 9 I did find some cute shorter summer dresses is something like that is OK ? Ps when are the formal nights during the cruise is it on the very first night ? please let me know

what is your opinions .and suggestions are welcome.

Ps are you on NOORDAM 03 2009 as well ?

 

When we were on our first cruise (it was a New Year's cruise), we saw lots of girls that age and they were wearing dresses like you'd wear for Christmas. I don't recall seeing any children in long dresses. I personally think a cute shorter summer dress would be fine. :)

[honey-bunny]

:)

Thank you very much for your reply that is what I will do then .

I will pack for her some summer dresses she loves to wear them I just was not sure if she could since they are short .

your reply made me feel much better, and my little one is happy as well --- she like her summer dress,

thank you :)

[twinkletoes4445]

:)

Thank you very much for your reply that is what I will do then .

I will pack for her some summer dresses she loves to wear them I just was not sure if she could since they are short .

your reply made me feel much better, and my little one is happy as well --- she like her summer dress,

thank you :)

 

Have a wonderful time! I'm sure she'll be cute as a button, and if she's comfortable, it will just make the evening that much more enjoyable for everyone. My kids are grown, but I do know that my daughter (at that age) would not want to wear a long dress. :)

 

I also meant to add that formal night isn't the first night. Typically it's the first sea night and then later in the week. On our 7-day cruise, formal night was day 2 and day 6. I'm not sure how this will work on our upcoming 10-day cruise.

[honey-bunny]

Have a wonderful time! I'm sure she'll be cute as a button, and if she's comfortable, it will just make the evening that much more enjoyable for everyone. My kids are grown, but I do know that my daughter (at that age) would not want to wear a long dress. :)

 

I also meant to add that formal night isn't the first night. Typically it's the first sea night and then later in the week. On our 7-day cruise, formal night was day 2 and day 6. I'm not sure how this will work on our upcoming 10-day cruise.

so true !! so loves shorts and pants and barbie and brats t-shirts

she is so happy to pack all her outfits in her little back pack :)

at age of 9 she is very easy to please she just loves to be comfy!!

[twinkletoes4445]

so true !! so loves shorts and pants and barbie and brats t-shirts

she is so happy to pack all her outfits in her little back pack :)

at age of 9 she is very easy to please she just loves to be comfy!!

 

Enjoy your little girl and all the little girl things! They grow up too quickly. Your post brought a tear to my eye. It took me back to when mine was that age. :)

[pipedreams62]

[AlohaPride]

In response to your last comment, not all lines are in all markets. I have spent time in Europe and met many people from all walks of life. In general, they are like most Americans. There are people everywhere who take pride in their appearance and those that do not. None of the opinions expressed on this or any other thread will change that. In these economic times the cruise lines cannot afford to be independent. So, if it pleases you to dress up, do so. If you cannot abide by eating with people who aren't as well dressed as you, that is your problem. The idea of sending some people to their cabins like naughty children is abhorrent. Some people cannot afford formal clothes, for example, on our last HAL cruise we met a lovely couple whose children chipped in to buy a cruise for them (they were the elderly parents, who couldn't afford the cruise). Should they have been sent to their cabin because they couldn't afford formalwear? Should their experience have been lessened by the artificial needs of others to feel superior? Frankly most of the people on this board who are complaining sound insipid. People should wear what they feel is appropriate to the occasion and what they can afford. If I have offended anyone by my statements, you deserved it.

 

I'm actually not sure how ANY of this fits with my last comment about MY choice of line and why we chose it. I wouldn't buy a "mainstream" car with particular features if I were going to take those features out later because I didn't want them to begin with.

 

I wouldn't let my daughter join Girl Scouts without getting her a uniform so she could abide by the suggested dress code (as a uniform is not actually a requirement).

 

I wouldn't join the Disney Movie Club which requires you to buy a certain # of videos in the first year and then say, "Its my right to chose what I spend my money on" and then not buy the videos - but expect the perks of club membership anyway.

 

My post was very personal. I simply stated that I would not sign up for something that I did not intend to participate fully in. This is out of respect for the line, my fellow passengers, and in order to fully enjoy the trip I booked.

 

I never once said in my post that I was offended by anything.

 

There IS a line for every person. And I would dare say there is a perfect fit for every person in every market.

 

IF you decide that HAL is the "perfect" fit for you, you can feed and entertain yourself in the Lido on Formal night. That's a completely valid option. The Lido serves the same food, and you can be comfortable there. No sending people to their rooms as though they were bad children in order to feel "superior" (not even sure where the superior comment came from as no one has mentioned THAT as a reason to dress formally).

 

No matter WHAT I'm spending my money on, I expect that others will respect the conditions set forth as much as I do.

 

I'm going on a cruise next month. I'm going to be 20+ weeks pregnant. It was very difficult to find maternity formal attire, but out of respect for my fellow passengers and to fully enjoy the three formal nights we have on our cruise I FOUND three dresses and didn't pay an outrageous amount. Where there is a will, there is a way. So I really don't buy the excuses that have been set forth.

 

And, if I have offended anyone by my statements, YOU deserved it. It goes both ways.

[barbon2]

I now think I get it................

HAL does not have to change the dress code.

The passengers themselves are doing it, subtly, slowly, surely, a little bit at a time.

 

Barbara

[honey-bunny]

Enjoy your little girl and all the little girl things! They grow up too quickly. Your post brought a tear to my eye. It took me back to when mine was that age. :)

thank you for your kind words , my little one is so happy i showed her your post and she knows now that she can pack her favorite outfits ,she was so happy about that

she also packed her small toy and favorite dvd movies to watch in the state room, thank you for your kidnd words and your reply our noordam cruise will begin in just 18 days we are all very excited .

[RevNeal]

No, you don't get it. The key word is suggested. When I was in the military there was a uniform of the day. It was required. This is not the military and the dress code is suggested, not required.

 

Tell that to the men who we observed being turned away from entering the main dining room on Formal Night because they were not appropriately dressed. That was in January 2007.

 

I once listed as the Matre D told a gentleman at the table behind me that he would need to return to his cabin and obtain a coat and tie because it was Formal Evening. When the man protested that the formal code was a suggestion, the Matre' D replied: "A Tuxedo or suit is what is suggested, sir. Jacket and tie are required." Or words to that effect. The Matre' D then instructed the stewards not to serve the man until he returned to his cabin to obtain a jacket and tie. That was a few years ago, but I'll never forget it.

 

More recently (this year) we have heard reports from the Veendam where men were not admitted, nor served, without jacket and tie.

 

In short, the dress code is, indeed, suggested ... until, on occasion and due to egregious violation, it is made requisite.

[RevNeal]

Yes, I keep waiting for a post here on CC about that "snooty couple" who wore their formal clothing on the last night of the cruise just to make everyone else look bad!

 

It's been said, or at least hinted at, already. Those of us who like to dress up, and would appreciate it if the Line's dress code were followed in at least its minimal guidelines, are all "putting on airs." Or, at least, so we've been judged.

[twinkletoes4445]

thank you for your kind words , my little one is so happy i showed her your post and she knows now that she can pack her favorite outfits ,she was so happy about that

she also packed her small toy and favorite dvd movies to watch in the state room, thank you for your kidnd words and your reply our noordam cruise will begin in just 18 days we are all very excited .

 

We're on the 1/23 Noordam sailing, so you'll have to come back and let us know how your cruise went (I am sure you'll have a lot of fun!). And I'll bet your little one is going to look just adorable! Strawberry Shortcake was the "in" thing for little girls when mine was about that age. We had strawberry stuff everywhere! :)

[Boytjie]

 

OK, not ALL European tourists.... just 99% of them.

[Boytjie]

People should wear what they feel is appropriate to the occasion and what they can afford.

 

Well, on formal nights it is appropriate to wear formal outfits. :rolleyes:

 

If I have offended anyone by my statements, you deserved it.

 

I hope I never have to share a dinner table with you on a cruise. :eek:

[Opinions]

When the man protested that the formal code was a suggestion, the Matre' D replied: "A Tuxedo or suit is what is suggested, sir. Jacket and tie are required."

 

If a jacket and tie are "required" why doesn't the HAL code just say that?..It shouldn't be that difficult to actually use those words if they really mean it...Why does HAL use words like "suggested" and "usually wear"?...In my opinion it just gives the appearance of a dress code while not scaring away too many potential cruisers...Perhaps the Formal-Optional night we had on a recent HAL cruise is a sign of the future.

[AlohaPride]

<snip>

I hope I never have to share a dinner table with you on a cruise. :eek:

 

Just to make sure, this isn't a quote from me, right? I was just quoting the person who said it to begin with. :o

[RevNeal]

If a jacket and tie are "required" why doesn't the HAL code just say that?..It shouldn't be that difficult to actually use those words if they really mean it...Why does HAL use words like "suggested" and "usually wear"?...In my opinion it just gives the appearance of a dress code while not scaring away too many potential cruisers...Perhaps the Formal-Optional night we had on a recent HAL cruise is a sign of the future.

 

I agree. I wish the published code said it that explicitly. It wouldn't make any difference, however; those who want to ignore it will do so anyway, even despite the wording, and I doubt it would scare off any potential cruises. After all, it's not that difficult to observe. Indeed, the ships do, sometimes, express it as explicitly ... and those who are so-inclined still willfully ignore it. Witness this, which comes from a daily program from a cruise a few years back:

 

 

That's rather unambiguous, and yet some still chose it ignore it. Hence, a year or so ago I gave up fretting about it. I still dress up on Formal nights and resolve myself to ignore the judgmental stares of those who think I'm an over-dressed stuffed shirt who is just "puting on airs."

[babyher]

Yes, I keep waiting for a post here on CC about that "snooty couple" who wore their formal clothing on the last night of the cruise just to make everyone else look bad!

 

 

 

I think it's wonderful what you and DH do. Not snooty at all. DW and I have a lot of little things we like to do just "for us". Silly things , but we enjoy them

 

What is it one out of every two marriages ends in divorce today? When you hear about a couple that are really happy and love being together and enjoy doing things for ecahother, its wonderful news.

 

I have 4 ladies in my office , One of them is the same way with her husband . They have been on a 30 honeymoon.:) The other three always make snide remarks . Of course the other three are real Hard Hearted Hannahs (NO OFFENSE JIM *LOL) Or as my boss calls the "The He Woman Man Haters Club " They have more issues than the National Geographic and are just jealous someone else is happy.

 

God Bless you and DH and many mnay more heappy healthy years and "extra formal nights"

[honey-bunny]

We're on the 1/23 Noordam sailing, so you'll have to come back and let us know how your cruise went (I am sure you'll have a lot of fun!). And I'll bet your little one is going to look just adorable! Strawberry Shortcake was the "in" thing for little girls when mine was about that age. We had strawberry stuff everywhere! :)

i will let you know rigth after the cruise how it went please wish us luck!!!!

i hope that on my cruise there will be kind and possitive people just like you

:)

[twinkletoes4445]

i will let you know rigth after the cruise how it went please wish us luck!!!!

i hope that on my cruise there will be kind and possitive people just like you

:)

 

Well, thank you! :)

 

We had so much fun on our HAL cruise that we booked another. When I told hubby I wanted to cruise again, his only request was that it be on HAL. Our first cruise was just perfect. Everyone was so friendly and nice (passengers & ship crew), and I am sure you'll find the same thing on your cruise.

 

The great thing about HAL is HAL offers so many dining options. You can get a full breakfast (and write other things in that you'd want-just make sure if you do that that you're having the breakfast delivered during breakfast dining room hours) delivered to your cabin. The room service menu is very good. You can dine in the Lido for dinner (it's the same menu-although I am not completely sure you can get the lobster in the Lido) or you can have dinner from the dining room delivered to your cabin (just make sure and order it during the first 30 minutes of the dining room hours, but it can be delivered anytime during the evening). So if your daughter doesn't want to go to the dining room, you can have a cozy dinner in your cabin.

 

Enjoy! :)

[twinkletoes4445]

Thank you! We do try to have fun on our cruises...as much as we love our kids, it is so nice to get away "just the two of us" for a week and be able to have fun together again. :D

 

It is fun to get away from the kids, and what a fun way to do it. Our kids are at the age that they don't want to go with us on vacations too often, although I mentioned Maui and Ireland and they were all over those. lol Now we have girlfriends (of my boys) that we'll have to take, so it gets expensive, but what the heck, life is short!

 

The really great thing about HAL is HAL gives you so many dining options. I don't feel like we're being banished to our cabin on formal night (since we're not dressing), but rather for us, this is an opportunity for us to have some quiet time to talk and read. We don't have a lot of that in our everyday lives, so it's special for us. And that's what's fun...you dressing up on the last night of the cruise...doing something "special" that's just for you. We all need to take time to do these things. Life is pretty darn short. You just never know what's around the corner.

 

Happy cruising! :)

[twinkletoes4445]

i will let you know rigth after the cruise how it went please wish us luck!!!!

 

I meant to add to my other post to you that you might want to take along a light-weight sweater for your daughter. The dining room sometimes was a little chilly, and she might get a little cool. I am like that. I get cool quickly, so I am bringing a sweater. It could be no problem at all, but I thought I'd mention this. :)

 

What a wonderful mommy you are to be doing all these things for your daughter so she has a fun and comfortable vacation. She's a lucky girl! :)

[WhansaMi]

That's rather unambiguous, and yet some still chose it ignore it. Hence, a year or so ago I gave up fretting about it. I still dress up on Formal nights and resolve myself to ignore the judgmental stares of those who think I'm an over-dressed stuffed shirt who is just "puting on airs."

 

I find it hard to believe that anyone actually gives you "judgemental stares" for dressing up on formal night -- or any other time. Have you actually ever experienced that?

 

As I've said before, I don't really care what people wear -- dress up, dress down -- it is your choice. I would no more raise an eyebrow to someone wearing a tux on a non-formal night than I would a woman wearing slacks on a formal night. And, while I do not know any of the people who have spoken in favor of the "dress as you please" camp, I would venture to say they wouldn't either. The comments are not about any particular person wishing to dress in a certain way.... it seems to me that the comments are about people who want to impose their preferences on others. That's what makes people "stuffed shirts", imo.

 

Sheila

[Boytjie]

I find it hard to believe that anyone actually gives you "judgemental stares" for dressing up on formal night -- or any other time. Have you actually ever experienced that?

 

And I wonder just how many (or few IMHO) judgmental stares are given to those that do not dress formal.

[kryos]

If a jacket and tie are "required" why doesn't the HAL code just say that?..It shouldn't be that difficult to actually use those words if they really mean it...Why does HAL use words like "suggested" and "usually wear"?...In my opinion it just gives the appearance of a dress code while not scaring away too many potential cruisers...Perhaps the Formal-Optional night we had on a recent HAL cruise is a sign of the future.

Exactly. If they mean it, and plan to enforce it, then they should state the "requirements" of their dress codes clearly on the website and in cruise documents.

 

It's the same game HAL used to play with the tipping, before the auto-tip went into place. "Tipping not required." Then they obviously got miffed when people decided that tipping wasn't necessary. That's when they went to an auto-tip and dropped the "not required" crap.

 

Say what you mean and mean what you say, HAL. If a certain standard of dress is required, then say so. And then enforce it. At least then people would know what the rules under which they are playing are, and can decide where to invest their cruise vacation dollars accordingly.

 

Blue skies ...

 

--rita