Unwelcome At Our Assigned Table

[AuntieBon]

I've never had this happen at an assigned table but once when I went to the open seating at lunch I was escorted to a table with 7 family members. Two of the 20-somethings quite loudly said "she's not with US", their lovely grandmother told them to hush and welcomed me to the table. Had a wonderful lunch with the rest of the family although the young women ignored me for the entire meal.

[FinelyCruising]

Ok. Just for fun...let's say that what might have appeared to have been rude might not have meant to have been rude.

 

Let's say as one poster pointed out a couple came to her table, a table among a group of tables of linked guests, and the group of tables that the reservations and links were not set up well enough to work easily immediately...

 

Let's say the offender was a someone who might not have ever meant to make this kind of mistake and offend anyone, but in the moment something came off wrong.

 

While I continue to be less concerned about what they did and what I would do, and I am such a go getter for the underdog, I'd like to think that it might not have been 'personal' and perhaps just an awkward moment in time that with an opportunity for a do-over, might have turned out differently.

 

I will now really wipe these rose colored glasses I have put on at this time. I am compelled by one posters comment on the opposite side of the table that a mistake might have been made and no malice was ever intended.

[frito58]

I"ll bet the rude person was in proper attire.:rolleyes:

[warmwinds]

The table could have requested everyone they know to be at their table (when we have traveled with family or friends we have always asked to and been seated together). But let's say someone at Celebrity saw 2 seats free at a large table, and just assigned someone there. You can see how it would have been a surprise to the family already seated, thinking they were going to be alone. I'm sure she sounded rude but she was caught off guard. You can't think it was anything personal since they didn't even KNOW you yet!

[Terre]

I"ll bet the rude person was in proper attire.:rolleyes:

Probably her formal jeans.

[FinelyCruising]

That's what I am saying... One side saw one thing and the other side saw another.

 

We know there can be some mean and intentional snubbing by some, but sometimes there is just none intended at all and it just comes off wrong by mistake and happenstance.;)

[Ma Bell]

I would agree with that. I know the people who came to our table looked like lovely people but there would not have been room for them when everyone got there. We were a group of friends traveling together and they even had to go downstairs to find the rest of our group. It was very disorganized but after the first night it was fine.

[FinelyCruising]

I am posting this because my husband and I were quite upset by this experience. I'd really appreciate it if you could share your opinions or experiences.

On Dec 7 Solstice cruise, my DH and I had asked for a large table. I just love meeting and chatting with new people.

On the first night in the MDR, the Maitre D'ee was showing us to our table assigned. As we approached a lady from the table jumped up and frantically said to the Maitre D'ee that he had put two strangers at their table! And this was not what she asked for!

Well, we then knew that we were the 2 "strangers" she was referring to since there were 2 empty spots at the table we and she was assigned to. My DH and I looked at each other hardly believing what she had said and feeling most unwelcome. The Maitre D'ee was very embarrassed.

We said to the Maitre D'ee that we will not push ourselves where we were not wanted and sat at a table for 2.

What do you think? Has this ever happened to you?

 

 

OK...Maybe this ill will was not the intent at all. OP....Is it possible that this is conceiveable to you if it was a fellow CC member and if it was by some odd occurrence under the circumstances could you agree to the idea that a snub was not personal or intentional...:o

 

Oh please for a Happy New Year???

[ccletzgo]

Ok. Just for fun...let's say that what might have appeared to have been rude might not have meant to have been rude.

 

Let's say as one poster pointed out a couple came to her table, a table among a group of tables of linked guests, and the group of tables that the reservations and links were not set up well enough to work easily immediately...

 

Let's say the offender was a someone who might not have ever meant to make this kind of mistake and offend anyone, but in the moment something came off wrong.

 

While I continue to be less concerned about what they did and what I would do, and I am such a go getter for the underdog, I'd like to think that it might not have been 'personal' and perhaps just an awkward moment in time that with an opportunity for a do-over, might have turned out differently.

 

I will now really wipe these rose colored glasses I have put on at this time. I am compelled by one posters comment on the opposite side of the table that a mistake might have been made and no malice was ever intended.

 

I think the point is, it could have been handled with tact. Going to the Maitre D'ee privately and explaining there must have been a mistake and then having the Maitre D'ee explain the mistake to the people that were not supposed to be at the "private" table. A person saying "they are not supposed to be seated here" as people are being brought to the table is so very tacky.:eek:

I know how I felt when the women looked right at my DH and I and shook her head NO. Your mind does not go to the place where an arrangement mistake had been made, but more toward a personal note.

[Glendakayself]

We were once seated at a table for 8. Two couples who spoke very broken English informed the waiter that they were supposed to be by themselves. (DH heard the comment. I did not.) Another couple dined with us the first night, but never showed again. I asked the waiter if we should wait for the couple on the second night. He said that the other couple did not want to be with the people at our table. I took it as a joke until DH caught me up on the situation privately. We actually had a good time with the other two couples, and I guess they tollerated us for the duration of the cruise even though language was a problem. I saw the missing couple once, and they ducked their heads and looked the other way.

 

I once heard a very loud, angry woman at another table yell at the waiter that she was not going to sit with "that man" another night. It was a little frightening!

[Fogtownrog]

The table could have requested everyone they know to be at their table (when we have traveled with family or friends we have always asked to and been seated together). But let's say someone at Celebrity saw 2 seats free at a large table, and just assigned someone there. You can see how it would have been a surprise to the family already seated, thinking they were going to be alone. I'm sure she sounded rude but she was caught off guard. You can't think it was anything personal since they didn't even KNOW you yet!

That may be, but the b....ch shouldn't have been so loud and rude about it. There are no excuses for such terrible behavior. Most families are so dysfunctional and would be so lucky that someone new and different would sit with them.

[FinelyCruising]

The whole idea is that the entire interaction went sideways. If it was me based on the playback of this whole entire event I could do over I would have:

 

1) Done exactly what the OP did by moving off the table with grace.

 

2) Would have greeted the two guests with an acknowledgement by smile and excused myself and the waiter with a good strong yank of the arm and a smile, again...and then asked the guy to get the rest of the guests squared away for THE CLOSED TABLE tout suite and handle anyone else who might be assigned incorrectly without any further interference.

 

YMMV.:)

[dmk]

I think the point is, it could have been handled with tact. Going to the Maitre D'ee privately and explaining there must have been a mistake and then having the Maitre D'ee explain the mistake to the people that were not supposed to be at the "private" table. A person saying "they are not supposed to be seated here" as people are being brought to the table is so very tacky.:eek:

I know how I felt when the women looked right at my DH and I and shook her head NO. Your mind does not go to the place where an arrangement mistake had been made, but more toward a personal note.

 

Yes. I think there you've got it.

There have been different scenarios offered here.

But had it been handled tactfully the way you have explained, any situation can have a satisfactory outcome:)

[FinelyCruising]

That may be, but the b....ch shouldn't have been so loud and rude about it. There are no excuses for such terrible behavior. Most families are so dysfunctional and would be so lucky that someone new and different would sit with them.

 

 

You might be jumping to conclusions that if you knew the facts for certain you might regret the name calling and personalizations. Keep and open mind. It might be necessary.

[FinelyCruising]

Yes. I think there you've got it.

There have been different scenarios offered here.

But had it been handled tactfully the way you have explained, any situation can have a satisfactory outcome:)

 

In a few moments in time many opportunities can be missed. Did you know the people at the table? Do you think it was personal against you? Did your alternate table not offer you all you could have wanted even after your impression of the event?

[Ma Bell]

Well at least I know now that it wasn't me. :eek: I did go to the Maitre'd up front and explain the situation. I also explained to the people who came to the table that we had a group traveling together. Come to think of it they came to the table by themselves, not with the Maitre'd. It would be horrible to think you would make anyone feel badly.

[Susan-M]

I am compelled by one posters comment on the opposite side of the table that a mistake might have been made and no malice was ever intended.

 

I can see this being a possible scenario ... but the overreaction by the lady at the table would have been enough to offend most people. If it was by mistake, then an apology at a later time would have been in order...but unfortunately, some people don't get it when they make a mistake.

[Susan-M]

Well at least I know now that it wasn't me. :eek:

 

Whew!!! LOL

 

I'm just glad that I stand up and hug those who are brought to our table on the first night....just kidding....that would be enough to scare a few people away!

[FinelyCruising]

Well at least I know now that it wasn't me. :eek: I did go to the Maitre'd up front and explain the situation. I also explained to the people who came to the table that we had a group traveling together. Come to think of it they came to the table by themselves, not with the Maitre'd. It would be horrible to think you would make anyone feel badly.

 

Thank Goodness....now is just some everyday random GRACELESS people that are the offenders. :D

 

I can see this being a possible scenario ... but the overreaction by the lady at the table would have been enough to offend most people. If it was by mistake, then an apology at a later time would have been in order...but unfortunately, some people don't get it when they make a mistake.

 

I over react all the time. I should be shot for it. Thank Goodness its mostly at work and my boss and everyone else at work is tolerant of my shortfalls. Here on the boards, not so much.:o

[Muushka]

This happened to us at the embarkation lunch on DCL. We were seated with 2 moms and 3 kiddos. One of the moms told us how strange it was to be seated with strangers. We explained that it does happen on a cruise. She accepted that and we learned during lunch that the children were adopted and had just lost their father. We ended befriending them and actually chose to sit with them a couple of lunches. The kids were a lot of fun and the moms seemed to appreciate the company, so it all worked out.

 

But if she had not talked directly to us about it, I probably would have been asked to move also.

[warmwinds]

That's another angle I never thought of...it might have been their first time on a cruise, and not known about the procedures. After all, when you go into a land-based restaurant they don't seat you with strangers (unless it's one of those common tables and you specify you want to sit there).

[Susan-M]

I over react all the time. I should be shot for it. Thank Goodness its mostly at work and my boss and everyone else at work is tolerant of my shortfalls. Here on the boards, not so much.:o

 

At least you recognize that you over-react...and now that you've explained, we will no longer be offended by it.;)

 

I liked your alternate theory on this situation. I hope that when I've had an 'unusual' reaction with a stranger (and I'm sure there have been a few!), that they've given me the benefit of the doubt as well. :)

[luvtocook]

Happened to us on a TA a year ago--we had what we "thought" was a "good friends" late seating table, but we had to re-assign ourselves to early seating for a table for 2 because our whole "group" didn't get seated like we were told we would. :( The "powers that be" were seated together and we were way far away at an actually bad table location. We enjoyed the table for two for 2 nights when another couple that thought they had "certain reservations", were asking if they could join us! We had the BEST time the rest of the cruise!!!!:D

The lesson I have learned is----I love visiting with my DH and unless I really "know" my friends--will always opt for a table for 2 or only the friends I am sailing with!!!! :rolleyes:

[Ma Bell]

One thing I've learned is that if you are with a group anything can happen the first night but they usually fix it by the second if everyone just relaxes and lets things work out. Travel agents don't seem to get everyone together as they should and friends are patient with each other.

[kannna]

You can sit with us anytime : )