Parents... this ? is for you!

[sassy5683]

the ones who don't want the "help" are the ones that don't care to begin with. They think that their child could never to ANYTHING wrong and if they did somethign wrong it was SOMEONE elses fault! And they either don't realize we are talking about them because they have angels....OR they realize it and are now ashamed!

 

And I could NOT leave my kids in their room without ONE of us there. If you want ot party...leave your kids at home or put them in the child care or SOMETHING! But don't leave them alone in a strange place:eek:...you wouldn't even leave them at home...or at least I wouldn't. I think here kids are not allowed stay at home alone until they are 12...well I stayed home a lot earlier in life than that...but I was a PERFCT ANGEL!!!! HAHAHAHA. :p

 

Parents that do things like that probably should be parents at all! They think of parenting as a task that there is an end to or something that you can put away when you are done playing with it. Parenting is a non stop 24/7 rest of oyur life job. And if you MUST have a break....we all need one..then be responsible and make sure your kids are well cared for while you are letting loose!

[Cape]

I am always torn on this subject. My kids are 7 & 5 and always with me so I am handling it. AND believe me - just b/c I am attempting to handle it doesn't always mean I am being effective. But you can rest assured that we are probably on our way back to the cabin to handle it. After all, we are on vacation and they can't possibly be perfect for a whole week. If they are clearly acting up and being disruptive I would want someone to say something. BUT I do believe that some people have a lower tolerance for children than others and when that happens it will upset me if you say something.

 

Example: I have a nephew who is 16 and a son is 5 - they went to the bathroom once together at my parent's country club and as they walked in the locker room the man in there told them to go and get out. They had only walked in - nothing else. They are there often and are well aware of expectations so I think this man saying something to them before anything went wrong was uncalled for. As they walked out a member had their dog right outside the locker room. My son is very afraid of dogs and went right back in the locker room. The man then kicked them out of the locker room. They were simply trying to get through the locker room to go through the entrance that came straight into the clubhouse rather than back outside. I was there and saw what was happening (could not see the man correcting them but could see their behavior) I was able to get my son and carry him out. In this situation - I think the man was wrong.

 

My point is: before you correct someone's child make sure they are really acting up and not just being annoying. After all, I don't correct adults when they chew gum with their mouth open, blow smoke in my face, curse in front of my children, spend FOREVER walking through the buffett line agaonizing over every choice, wear inappropriate clothing revealing too much in front of children or subjecting them to an offensive phrase or picture....

 

OKAY - so after reading this thread - I clearly have a VERY different definition of acting up vs. others. If my children were doing some of the things described here - they would not see the outside of our cabin.

[A&Jfamily]

the ones who don't want the "help" are the ones that don't care to begin with. They think that their child could never to ANYTHING wrong and if they did somethign wrong it was SOMEONE elses fault! And they either don't realize we are talking about them because they have angels....OR they realize it and are now ashamed!

 

And I could NOT leave my kids in their room without ONE of us there. If you want ot party...leave your kids at home or put them in the child care or SOMETHING! But don't leave them alone in a strange place:eek:...you wouldn't even leave them at home...or at least I wouldn't. I think here kids are not allowed stay at home alone until they are 12...well I stayed home a lot earlier in life than that...but I was a PERFCT ANGEL!!!! HAHAHAHA. :p

 

Parents that do things like that probably should be parents at all! They think of parenting as a task that there is an end to or something that you can put away when you are done playing with it. Parenting is a non stop 24/7 rest of oyur life job. And if you MUST have a break....we all need one..then be responsible and make sure your kids are well cared for while you are letting loose!

 

That is a good way of putting it...so here's the question - not directed at anyone in particular but rather at parents - sort of a self-reflection thing....

 

Do you think your kids are angels? Do they ever do something wrong?

 

Since I am asking, I will be the first to say that while I think my kids are for the most part good (I am 100% certain that they know right from wrong, they may just not always apply it:p), they are far from perfect. My DS (11) is currently suffering from a bad case of TWEEN mouth, as I call it. And, he occasionally seems to rearrange his values and determine that it is OK to hit his little brother (5). He also has a habit of talking too loud when he is excited. My DS (5) has decided that tattling is his main responsibility in life, and he has a nasty habit of yelling when he is in a mood. Oh, yeah...they both have stinky feet.:D

 

Do I have good kids who are for the most part respecful (especially to strangers or other adults) and well behaved? Yep. Are they kids/human like the rest of us? Yep. When they screw up, are there going to be immediate and consistent consequences? You bet!

[tootsiebit]

I give them the 'Grandma LOOK' and they usually stop what they are doing - well it works for most kids under 12 or so. Make eye contact!!

 

 

 

Oh I am still laughing...I too give "The Look"....my daughter says that it is something she wants to master with her 3 children...If we out together and one of my dear grankids is doing something and won't listen to her she tells me to give them "The Look"...she says it worked on her and I do admit it works on my little darlings too!!!!

 

Tootsie

[sassy5683]

I am always torn on this subject. If they are clearly acting up and being disruptive I would want someone to say something. BUT I do believe that some people have a lower tolerance for children than others and when that happens it will upset me if you say something.

 

Example: I have a nephew who is 16 and a son is 5 - they went to the bathroom once together at my parent's country club and as they walked in the locker room the man in there told them to go and get out. They had only walked in - nothing else. They are there often and are well aware of expectations so I think this man saying something to them before anything went wrong was uncalled for. As they walked out a member had their dog right outside the locker room. My son is very afraid of dogs and went right back in the locker room. The man then kicked them out of the locker room. They were simply trying to get through the locker room to go through the entrance that came straight into the clubhouse rather than back outside. I was there and saw what was happening (could not see the man correcting them but could see their behavior) I was able to get my son and carry him out. In this situation - I think the man was wrong.

 

My point is: before you correct someone's child make sure they are really acting up and not just being annoying. After all, I don't correct adults when they chew gum with their mouth open, blow smoke in my face, curse in front of my children, spend FOREVER walking through the buffett line agaonizing over every choice, wear inappropriate clothing revealing too much in front of children or subjecting them to an offensive phrase or picture....

 

very good example of when to NOT mess with kids! i didn't even think of this...but similar things have happened to me. You do have to LOOK at the full picture BEFORE saying something that is true!

[Kurbanfan]

My point is: before you correct someone's child make sure they are really acting up and not just being annoying. After all, I don't correct adults when they chew gum with their mouth open, blow smoke in my face, curse in front of my children, spend FOREVER walking through the buffett line agaonizing over every choice, wear inappropriate clothing revealing too much in front of children or subjecting them to an offensive phrase or picture....

 

 

 

A child splashing in a hot tub is annoying and I will call security..........

 

I would certainly call out someone that blew smoke in my face or cursed in front of my children.......that is beyond annoying:p

[lesters]

That is a good way of putting it...so here's the question - not directed at anyone in particular but rather at parents - sort of a self-reflection thing....

 

Do you think your kids are angels? Do they ever do something wrong?

 

 

She (6) is generally well behaved. She's been in organized activities since she was 3 and can take direction, understands expectations in public places, restaurants etc. She is however extremely strong willed and can have quite the attitude at times. Its something we work on often:p.

 

Here's an example when she was 4 we drove to Disneyworld from our home in Saskatoon - yup check out mapquest it was quite the adventure. Overall she did really well for a 4 yo stuck in a car that much. We were in the pool at our hotel outside Disney and she wanted to go in the hottub which was full, so I said not right now. She kept on it and on it so I told her one more time and we were going back up to the room (where DH was napping). She again made a fuss about going to the hot tub so I picked her out of the pool and carried a screaming crying kid who was saying sorry its okay we can stay in the pool etc. up to the room for a time out. I'm sure people thought I was going to beat her by the way she was acting:o. My point is the rest of the trip if I told her to stop doing something it didnt take more than asking twice.

 

So long story short - no angel but I don't put up with it for very long;)

[marshhawk]

I do not have children, I'm an ex teacher. Do I love kids? Yes. Do I love to see kids be where kids shouldn't be? No. They should not be wandering around corridors on ships, they should not be in the adult serenity sections, or hot tubs. The reason that you are not seeing any parents telling us not to reprimand their children is because their world is so wrapped around themselves, they aren't reading this thread. As far as leaving children alone in a room, do you remember that sweet little girl in Portugal, who's English parents went to dinner and left their babies alone in the apartment?

That little girl was not kidnapped when there was an adult present, that little girl was taken because there was no adult present. A child is a responsability to who ever gave birth to it, first. Numero uno. That's it. If you want a well balanced, intelligent, well behaved child, it is the parent who creates this. And if you don't , well spay and neuter, don't create a stray. (harsh ain't i)

[jbroons]

When my daughters were younger my wife was out to lunch with two of her friends and their kids. These women allow their kids to run around the restaurant, up to other people's tables, etc.. We never let our kids leave the table except for the bathroom. Well, the manager of the restaurant banned all of them from the place for ever....the kids were that bad.

 

On Freedom, there was a large group sitting near us every night in the Chic Dining Room....there was an adult table and, right next to us, a kids table. The kids were out of control...standing on the chairs, racing around the table, etc...terrible...and parents did nothing....every night.

 

In both of these cases, what can you do? The parents were right there and chose to do nothing. Confrontation would have caused a scene and ruined dinners. The parents need to STEP UP and be parents!

[MacysMimi]

I just had to chime in on this....I'm a single mom who managed to raise 3 kids without the assistance of the government or the dad (another whole long story) and mind you, I'm not knocking anyone who has used assistance, I'm just saying I did it myself with the help of family and lots of hard work....All 3 turned into very productive, functioning members of society...I certainly had no problem with anyone correcting my kids if they caught them misbehaving and my children knew that. They were told from an early age that if someone corrected them, or told me they had to correct them, there would be consequences for them when I got them home!

 

As to today's kids, I feel sorry for some of them. Mom and dad are so busy trying to be friends, they forget to be parents. My oldest daughter has 3 kids and as her and her husband were leaving to go eat the other night, they opened the front door and a toddler ( less than 2) was standing on her porch, wearing just a diaper dragging to his knees, sunburnt bad and with mosquito bites everwhere....He had a dog with him, and some of his clothes and toys were in my dtrs yard. They called the police and while waiting walked across the busy street, following the kid, and pounded on the door trying to get someone to answer it...Police showed up and long story short, this kid had crawled out a broken window while caretaker was in the house dead asleep. The kid had been outside for HOURS and they were oblivious to it...My daughter at one point was holding onto the kid, kicking and screaming, because he was trying to cross the street in front of a speeding car.... It just broke my heart! Bad part was, the police let him go back in the house and just warned the guy...I sure hope we don't read about him on the news, ya know what I mean?

[walkswife]

That is a good way of putting it...so here's the question - not directed at anyone in particular but rather at parents - sort of a self-reflection thing....

 

Do you think your kids are angels? Do they ever do something wrong?

 

Since I am asking, I will be the first to say that while I think my kids are for the most part good (I am 100% certain that they know right from wrong, they may just not always apply it:p), they are far from perfect. My DS (11) is currently suffering from a bad case of TWEEN mouth, as I call it. And, he occasionally seems to rearrange his values and determine that it is OK to hit his little brother (5). He also has a habit of talking too loud when he is excited. My DS (5) has decided that tattling is his main responsibility in life, and he has a nasty habit of yelling when he is in a mood. Oh, yeah...they both have stinky feet.:D

 

Do I have good kids who are for the most part respecful (especially to strangers or other adults) and well behaved? Yep. Are they kids/human like the rest of us? Yep. When they screw up, are there going to be immediate and consistent consequences? You bet!

 

I would happily go back to the tween mouth ..... let me tell ya after 2 teen girls..... maybe I wouldn't cuz I'd have to do the teen years over after that..... last one is 18 .... still has a mouth.... but only with me.... and I will still happily put her in her place

[Warm Breezes]

That is a good way of putting it...so here's the question - not directed at anyone in particular but rather at parents - sort of a self-reflection thing....

 

Do you think your kids are angels? Do they ever do something wrong?

 

quote]

 

Nope not angels. DS(15) and DD(12) can get on each others nerves and have small verbal quarrells with each other, but not nearly as much as my brothers used to get on mine. We used to get into huge fights, my kids have never purposely hit each other (at least that I know of). DD can talk your ear off. I sometimes need to tell her to calm/quiet down. DS can get moody after a bad soccer/basketball game - we just have to give him some space and not try to play coach- he gets over it eventually. The thing is when they do start getting out of line, the "look" is all it ever takes to remind them to behave. They know what is acceptable behavior and what is not. They know what the consequences are of not behaving. They know that if they get the "look" they are pushing it and they back down. They were taught this as soon as they could communicate effectively with us. No not angels, but they know our limits.

[walkswife]

When my daughters were younger my wife was out to lunch with two of her friends and their kids. These women allow their kids to run around the restaurant, up to other people's tables, etc.. We never let our kids leave the table except for the bathroom. Well, the manager of the restaurant banned all of them from the place for ever....the kids were that bad.

 

On Freedom, there was a large group sitting near us every night in the Chic Dining Room....there was an adult table and, right next to us, a kids table. The kids were out of control...standing on the chairs, racing around the table, etc...terrible...and parents did nothing....every night.

 

In both of these cases, what can you do? The parents were right there and chose to do nothing. Confrontation would have caused a scene and ruined dinners. The parents need to STEP UP and be parents!

 

As a seasoned waitress.... Thank you for teaching your children how to behave in a restaurant.... as for the rest of the children GOD FORBID....

 

People don't realize how easy it would be for their child to go in front of a waitress and trip her... Ok carrying hot food hot coffee or anything else.... fortunately my boss will tell them to sit down or he will offer them $20 to take them to McDonald's .... I've seen him do it...

[KGF]

All of a sudden I had this flashback to an episode of The Real Housewives of New York (sorry I love crappy television!). Anyone see/remember the episode where they were at Jill's dinner party and Francois was like stabbing someone's burger and running around like a wild animal?

 

This is exactly what I picture when I think of "unruly" kids. Lord, help DS if he thinks he'll be able to pull crap like that!

[FabFourLover]

I would never have allowed my children to misbehave in public.

 

I have been told by some parents that they appreciated me for stepping in. Others have told me to 'back-off' their kids!

 

You have hit the nail right on the head with 2 excellent points. #1 You (and I) would never have allowed our kids to behave like that. Obviously if these kids are behaving like this their parents DO allow it, or choose to look the other way. This is not the way they are allowed to behave on a cruise ship, it is the way they are allowed to behave, PERIOD.

 

#2 The parents of these children are the ones most likely to tell you to back off. They do not speak to their children like children are doing anything wrong and they resent you for doing so. "How dare you talk down to my child!!!!" Please. "Your child is behaving like an animal and I wouldn't allow my dog to do that so, yes, I talk down to your child!".

 

The parents who appreciate you speaking up are the ones mortified that their child did whatever he did and that child is going to hear about it later and that child is damn lucky it was you who saw him and not Mom because THEN there would be hell to pay!

 

You can usually tell the kids who are misbehaving because it's normal behavior for them. The kids caught being "bad" who are really well behaved kids are embarrassed they were caught and are usually begging you to please, please, please don't tell my mother. The others have an arrogance and "who cares" attitude they inherited and has been cultivated by their parents. Best to walk away. It's a losing battle.

[kathyemma]

Whenever my dd would get on my nerves during the toddler stage I would watch the reality show Nanny 911 (or whatever the name was) and say a nice little prayer to God thanking him for the child he gave me. I hope I still say that prayer when she is 17 and knows everything.

 

Kathy

[walkswife]

Whenever my dd would get on my nerves during the toddler stage I would watch the reality show Nanny 911 (or whatever the name was) and say a nice little prayer to God thanking him for the child he gave me. I hope I still say that prayer when she is 17 and knows everything.

 

Kathy

 

That last sentence said a mouth full....LOL

[Mike&Karren]

I hate to say this, but the folks will the badly behaved children, probably never read these boards. The people who do read these boards already know the complaints of others. I personally do not cruise to police children or adults. There are phones at the elevators on ever floor, & are placed here & there thru out the ship, plus the one in your cabin. If children or adults are doing things they shouldn't be, simply pick up the phone, call the purser's desk & ask them to send someone to the area. Why disrupt your vacation or anyone else's over something you can't control anyway? I have saw adults screaming back & forth at each other, about each other's children in the pool, while the rest of us sat there looking at these screaming adults. Security came & they both backed down. But each one thought their child was in the right, & nothing anyone said could have changed that. And think about it, if the parents are screaming in front of hundreds of people & are not embarrased, what did this teach the children? Let security do their job, I'm on vacation.

[FabFourLover]

My daughter is now almost 20 and is a delightful young women. But I must admit there were times when she was a young teenager that I didn't know if I wanted to kill her or myself on some days. But we managed to get through it. If she was ever seen doing anything that she shouldn't have been doing I would not have minded in the least if someone said something to her or to me. Those of us who tried to instill good manners and civilized behavior into our kids appreciate when there is someone there when we can't be.

 

When I was growing up in an Italian neighborhood in Philadelphia you couldn't go 2 feet without someone on the street seeing what you were doing. This is a funny story. I was about 12 years old. My house was located in the middle of the block and there was a grocery store on the corner, maybe 20 row houses away. My next door neighbor had broken his ankle. He gave me money and asked me to run to the store and get him a pack of cigarettes so I did. The lady who owned the store didn't say anything to me when I bought the cigs (to this day, I don't know why). When I arrived back at my house, my neighbor was still sitting on the front porch and my mother was standing on our porch, arms folded, foot tapping and positivily GLARING! In the 2 or 3 minutes it took to walk up the street my mother already knew I had bought cigarettes. The phone never rang...word just spread from porch to porch from every person outside. It took all my neighbor could do to convince my mother that he was the one who wanted the cigarettes, that I was only doing him a favor. She believed him and me but I STILL got a woopping when I got in the house. It guess it really did take a village!:)

[sassy5683]

"It guess it really did take a village"

I wanted to mention this but in saying it I didn't want anyone to think that meant that OTHERS are obligated to take care of my kids..just that the people in your childrens lives can and do make a big difference and there are going to be times that your children aren't with you and they are going to do things that you need to know about...how else would you know if you didn't ahve the villiage.

[scperk]

I have a couple of examples from my last cruise...I'm in the pool with a friends and this 12 year old splashes water in mine and my friends face...I just looked at him and he said he was splashing another boy because he splashed him..I promply told him that was unaccepable in any way and he told me I could not tell him what to do....another time we were in the adults only pool and I told this young boy that this pool was adults only..He went and got his Mom who tried to berate me and I had to call security...I've taken my boys when they were younger and I told them if someone came to me about their bahavior that they would be spending the rest of the day by my side......Dennis

[FabFourLover]

"it guess it really did take a village"

 

i wanted to mention this but in saying it i didn't want anyone to think that meant that others are obligated to take care of my kids..just that the people in your childrens lives can and do make a big difference and there are going to be times that your children aren't with you and they are going to do things that you need to know about...how else would you know if you didn't ahve the villiage.

 

 

amen !!!!!

[MamaParrotHead]

I just had to chime in on this....I'm a single mom who managed to raise 3 kids without the assistance of the government or the dad (another whole long story) and mind you, I'm not knocking anyone who has used assistance, I'm just saying I did it myself with the help of family and lots of hard work....All 3 turned into very productive, functioning members of society...I certainly had no problem with anyone correcting my kids if they caught them misbehaving and my children knew that. They were told from an early age that if someone corrected them, or told me they had to correct them, there would be consequences for them when I got them home!

 

As to today's kids, I feel sorry for some of them. Mom and dad are so busy trying to be friends, they forget to be parents. My oldest daughter has 3 kids and as her and her husband were leaving to go eat the other night, they opened the front door and a toddler ( less than 2) was standing on her porch, wearing just a diaper dragging to his knees, sunburnt bad and with mosquito bites everwhere....He had a dog with him, and some of his clothes and toys were in my dtrs yard. They called the police and while waiting walked across the busy street, following the kid, and pounded on the door trying to get someone to answer it...Police showed up and long story short, this kid had crawled out a broken window while caretaker was in the house dead asleep. The kid had been outside for HOURS and they were oblivious to it...My daughter at one point was holding onto the kid, kicking and screaming, because he was trying to cross the street in front of a speeding car.... It just broke my heart! Bad part was, the police let him go back in the house and just warned the guy...I sure hope we don't read about him on the news, ya know what I mean?

 

That is digusting and makes me sick to my stomach. I'd have called the press and told them about it and let them inquire with the police as to how or why things went down like that.

[FabFourLover]

I've taken my boys when they were younger and I told them if someone came to me about their bahavior that they would be spending the rest of the day by my side......Dennis

 

I hear ya! My daughter used to roll her eyes at her friends when they would tell her that their mother or father had an argument with someone because that person had said something to the kid. My daughter used to say "if I go home and tell my mother someone hollered (sp?) at me her first question is 'what did you do'"? And she was right, that was exactly what I said! :)

[ColoradoJen]

Just to add, I have a 2 and a 4 year old. I hope that now, and in the future, an adult would step in and discipline them if they are acting in a way that is inappropriate.