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Sorry to tell you this, but he was terrible on the May 17th sailing. I've never left a piano bar after only three songs before, but I did on that trip, and I never went back in. Every time I walked past, though, there were never more than a handful of people inside.

Thanks for all of your kind words.

This may not have been the best cruise I've ever been on, but it was a good time. I'm already planning the next one!

Oh, I almost forgot the conclusion of the contraband knife saga. The night before debarkation, my friend received a note in the cabin that told her to go to Guest Services in the morning to reclaim her knife. When we arrived at Guest Services, they had no idea where the knife was and sent her to the nightclub, where people were picking up their smuggled alcohol, irons, and other contraband. No knife. The staff at the night club told her to check with port security after we disembarked. Luckily, the knife was actually waiting for her with a security officer as we "dinged" out on the gangway. All's well that ends well, but the whole event was an unorganized mess.

On disembarkation day, I woke up with a horribly sore throat. The other girls said I'd been talking a lot in my sleep the night before, so I chalked it up to having my mouth open for much of the night and didn't think much of it. Unfortunately, that was not the case. By the time we were able to get off the ship, take a taxi to the hotel, and walk over to Cafe del Angel for lunch, I felt terrible. I boxed up my lunch and went to the hotel to try to take a nap while the rest of the bunch continued exploring the Condado area. We had originally planned to rent a car and head out to Arecibo Observatory, but I'm glad we scrapped that plan. I was not in any condition to enjoy another excursion.

My "nap" bled into the evening. I slept for about 18 hours, off and on, before we had to get up and head to the airport. The husband of the group was starting to feel pretty rough, too, at that point. I was miserable. I found some highly overpriced Tylenol Sinus (the ONE medication I didn't pack in my "just in case" bag, of course), which didn't help at all. I felt like my head was going to explode. During our layover in Ft. Lauderdale, I tried to eat lunch, but I just couldn't do it. Our late flight back to Nashville ended up being a blessing in disguise because there were so few people on board that there was enough room for everyone to have their own row of seats. I stretched out and tried to nap a little. When we arrived in Nashville, neither the husband or I could hear ANYTHING due to the congestion in our ears. I've never felt so miserable in my life, it was 10 pm central time, and I still had a 3.5 hour drive and a time change ahead of me. I crawled into my bed in Knoxville at around 4 am, feeling like death. That was not how I wanted my vacation to end!

I don't know what kind of virus we picked up or where it came from, but all five of us ended up getting sick, although I got the worst case by far. The cold/sinus symptoms lasted about two weeks, but I'M STILL COUGHING. I've gone through three doctor's visits, two courses of antibiotics, a chest x-ray, and all kinds of blood work. No one seems to know why I can't kick the cough. Ugh.

Other than our tropical plague, we had a great trip. The cabin location on the Lido deck was great for navigating around the ship. Yes, there was some noise in the hallway at night, but it only kept me up for brief periods of time, and I'm an extraordinarily light sleeper. We did have a problem with our shower for the first four nights of the cruise. It drained extremely slowly, which meant that we ended up flooding the bathroom every evening when we were getting ready for dinner. I guess the room steward finally got tired of dealing with piles of soaked towels after we cleaned up the mess, and someone finally fixed the shower one day while we were out.

The married couple in our group opted for the Cheers package. The "girls" did not, because our "youngster" is a very light drinker. In the end, I would have just broken even with Cheers, so it was a wash. I will probably buy the Cheers package in the future on less port-intensive itineraries.

I've never been a big Sea Day person, but this itinerary wiped me out. I'm glad we did it, because we had a great time, but I don't think I'd want to do 6 ports in 7 days again.

I also think that I prefer to do most of my future traveling as a solo. I love my friends, and we had a blast, but I felt the need to play travel agent all week, since I was the most experienced traveler of the group. I'd rather not have to worry about what 5 other people want to do when planning future trips.

So, that was our experience in a nutshell. I'd be happy to answer any questions as best I can. It's been a while since the trip, but I still remember most of the important details.

This was the day of the Preakness Stakes (the second "jewel" of the Triple Crown, for those who aren't familiar with horse racing), so we headed up to the sports bar to watch the race. I got a kick out of their drink special. Apparently someone at Carnival doesn't understand that the Kentucky Derby is a once-a-year thing.

American Pharoah won in a romp, despite the slop. We were a very happy bunch! Just a few weeks later, I watched him win the Belmont Stakes and become the first Triple Crown winner since 1978. :eek: We celebrated the Preakness win with a bottle of wine I had purchased in Puerto Rico just for the occasion. For a $5 bottle of wine, it wasn't all that bad.

After dinner, we headed over to the Alchemy Bar to say goodbye to the staff, especially Annamaria. All of us wrote emails to Carnival customer service and mentioned her in our post-cruise surveys. I hope she is rewarded for her excellent service.

We visited the comedy club again that night. The next day was disembarkation, the saddest day on any cruise.

At this point, I was content to hold down the chairs with our sun-sensitive friend and watch some of the larger planes come in. I had gotten more than my fill of adventure for the day.

Our friendly second cab driver picked us up right on schedule and carried us back to the ship. He was a cheerful tour guide. We headed back to the ship, tired and in need of thorough showers to remove sand from places where sand should NEVER be.

Luckily, they had a trivia activity just for us this day, so we won our second ship on a stick of the week! We didn't mention that I teach Equine Science at the university level, but I was wearing an Equestrian Team t-shirt, so I'm pretty sure they knew we were ringers.

This next part was not my proudest moment. We are a smart group of people. Three of the five of us have advanced degrees, and, as I said before, one is an aerospace engineer. We know how to read. We even made fun of the people hanging on to the fence and being blasted by the jets on take-off. However, our engineer/husband friend's presence gave us a false sense of security. He assured us that if we stood across the street from the airport fence, on the beach, we'd be safe from the jet blast. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. Wrong. WRONG.

I have a 30-second video that I wish I could share here that shows the aftermath. The funniest part is that, in my video, you can see our dear engineer/husband friend completely abandoning the womenfolk and bailing before any of the rest of us did. We gave him grief about that for days! We made a break for the water as people and personal items went flying all around us. I was laughing so hard that I could barely see where I was going. We joked, after we were safely away from the blast, that we had gotten a free skin resurfacing on our trip. Word to the wise: Never trust anyone else's opinion of how close is "too close" to the jet blast at Maho Beach!

Here's my post-jet blast sand-exfoliation selfie.

The final full day of the cruise arrived much too soon! On my trip to St. Maarten last year, I did the America's Cup reenactment and didn't see much of the island as a result. This time, we had a full day of activities planned.

First, we grabbed a cab and headed over to the French side of the island. Our mission: find Saraphina's and enjoy some tasty pastries. Once again, we ended up with a crabby driver who didn't really want to take us where we intended to go. He kept trying to talk us into a full island tour, even though we only wanted to go to two locations. Once again, we prevailed through sheer stubbornness. Saraphina's was every bit as good as I had anticipated! The portions were huge, though, and none of us were able to finish our treats.

We wandered through the open-air market for a little while. I bought a "fish spice" seasoning that I've greatly enjoyed, along with some local flavored rums. It was HOT and crowded in the market, but all the vendors were very friendly.

Next, we met up with a MUCH friendlier cab driver and headed over to Maho Beach. The husband of our group is an aerospace engineer, so this afternoon was for him. :D The "beach" at Sunset Bar and Grill was tiny and extremely crowded. I was not impressed, but the staff was friendly and quickly rented us a pair of chairs and an umbrella so we could store our stuff and our favorite redhead in the shade. We then headed out (sans redhead) to the water to watch the planes come in.

One of the reasons that agriculture is such a large industry in St. Kitts is the mineral rich volcanic soil.

We did a little, slightly buzzed, shopping after the train trip and then headed on board to clean up, rest, and get ready for dinner. This was the second formal night of the cruise.

Once again, we visited the Alchemy bar before dinner. After dinner, we headed over to the piano bar. The performer there may have been the most boring piano bar entertainer in history. He was a little crabby and didn't know the words to more than half of the songs he played, even the ones on Carnival's stock list. However, he did play "Rocky Top" for us!

We quickly abandoned the piano bar and walked over to the comedy club instead. We only intended to watch one of the adult shows, but both comedians were very entertaining, so we stayed for both and had a great time before heading to bed.

We were entertained during our trip by a local singing group. They were very good!

Our first glimpse of the train wasn't very reassuring.

However, we had nothing to worry about! The trip was a ton of fun. We had all the rum punch and pina coladas we could have asked for (and then some!), along with sodas, bottled water, and tasty coconut cookies. We saw a large portion of the island, which I found very beautiful, although clearly impoverished.

All of the friends on this trip with us (minus the one husband) are horse people and actually met through the Intercollegiate Horse Show Association. We were very excited to discover a horse racing track on the island.

Our next stop was St. Kitts. For this day, we had signed up for the Carnival's "Rail and Sail" excursion. I've read mixed reviews on this activity, but we had a great time.

First, we met up in the main lounge and were escorted off the ship. Part of the group was sent first to the train, and the rest of us were taken to the marina to board our catamaran. There were only 15 of us in this group, and Captain Cracker and his crew kept us well entertained and fully supplied with drinks. A friend and I sat at the back of the ship with him for the sail and got essentially a private tour while most of the group hung out on the nets at the front of the boat.

We passed some local fishermen at work on our way up the coast.

St. Kitts is a lush, vegetative island with a large agricultural industry. We passed several old sugar cane plantations and also caught a glimpse of Brimstone Fortress.

We were provided with bagged lunches, which were very good (a fish or chicken sandwich, depending on your preference). At the end of our catamaran trip, we docked next to a group that was clearly out for a good time.

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I'm so glad that we visited St. Lucia! Let this be an example that you never know what to expect from an island until you've actually been there yourself. After our excursion, we shopped a little in the port area. Then we returned to the ship, where our group (although I can't claim to have helped at all) was victorious in the superhero trivia contest. That night, at our pre-dinner visit to the alchemy bar, we met...these people...

They were with a huge group of friends who apparently meet up every year to cruise together. While they were very friendly, they tended to disrupt a lot of common areas, as large groups are known to do. They had different theme outfits every night. We enjoyed our encounter with them very much - we found them hilarious - but I'm not sure that all of my fellow cruisers felt the same way.

Not surprisingly, we followed dinner up with a movie and then bed. This itinerary doesn't encourage a rocking nightlife on the ship, that's for sure!

This guy caused me to beat a hasty retreat at one point.

I could have happily stayed in the water all day, but we wanted to explore the area a bit before leaving. We walked over to the Atlantic side so that we could say that we had stepped in two oceans in one day. The difference in the number and size of the waves was remarkable.

We ran across a few creepy looking eels.

Now, I have to admit that St. Lucia was the island I was least looking forward to visiting on this itinerary. I get horrible motion sickness, and all of the popular tours involve long van rides on what have been described as very twisty roads. We initially attempted to book a catamaran tour with Mystic Man, but we were unable to get a large enough group committed to book the trip. At the last minute, we booked Carnival's "Kayak Pigeon Island" excursion. We had a small group (maybe 20?) who met in one of the lounges and then boarded a van for a short trip over to our kayak launch location. Our van guide was a lot of fun and pointed out many areas of interest during the drive.

When we arrived at the kayaks, we were paired up and assigned kayaks. A mother/daughter pair in our group had brought their bathing suits instead of wearing them (WHY???), so the female guide kindly shielded them with towels while they changed. Word to the wise: There are no bathrooms at the launch location. ;) After that, we were off to kayak down the coast. There was a significant current pulling us towards shore; it was quite a workout to keep going straight! Only one couple tipped themselves over on the journey. Another, elderly, couple found the trip too strenuous and were picked up by a guide in a small boat halfway through. We probably kayaked for about 20-30 minutes before we arrived at Pigeon Island. There, we were provided with beer, rum punch, and delicious local fruits.

There was also a floating bar servicing some visitors who weren't on our excursion.

This excursion only provides an hour or two of time at the Pigeon Island location. We were offered our choice of hiking to a small fort, snorkeling, or lounging on the beach (chairs not included in the tour cost). Most people chose the hike, but one friend and I decided to snorkel. Since we were strong swimmers, we were sent out sans guide. The snorkeling was WONDERFUL. I've never seen water so clear or such an abundance of marine life. The rocks and reef are very close to shore and very shallow. I don't think the photos do the experience justice.

Next up was Barbados, which was the island I was most looking forward to visiting. My view upon waking up confirmed that the water was just as beautiful as I had heard.

Today's plan was to visit The Boatyard and swim with the turtles. The taxi lines in Barbados are very regimented. Although we had to wait a bit for our van to fill, we headed out to The Boatyard in a reasonable amount of time. We were checked in quickly and guided to our chairs and umbrellas for the day. We wore wristbands, which allowed us use of the facility for the day. The host warned us that beach vendors are NOT allowed to approach patrons at their chairs and that we should call over a waiter if we were being harassed.

They also asked us not to take any turtle/snorkel tours unless we did so before checking in or when we were finished with our Boatyard visit for the day. (Apparently this is a liability issue for them, as they don't offer their own tours.) The host did show us where we could enter the water from the beach and swim out to the turtles, which we found very easy to do later that afternoon. First, though, we enjoyed the water toys and rope swing. For lunch, I had the flying fish fingers from the bar, and they were so good I could have eaten three more baskets easily.

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We saw a few turtles when we made our way down to look for them. I wasn't able to get an photos, but it made my day. The boats that do the tours don't go very far from shore at all; while I'm sure it would have been enjoyable, I don't know that we would have found it worth the cost.

When we were ready to leave the boatyard, it was very easy to join a group of cruisers on a (complimentary) ride back to the port. We continued our evening routine of drinks at the Alchemy bar, dinner, and a movie before bed.

The first course was the mushroom cappuccino. It was fantastic!

Next up was a salad. I'm not a big fan of blue cheese, but it wasn't bad at all.

Then, we were served the most amazing chicken mac-and-cheese ever.

Our desert was a tiramisu, which was also delicious. It was the fastest four-course meal in history, but I still enjoyed the experience.

We soaked up a little sun on the Lido deck before heading to high tea. (My sea day basically consisted of traveling from one food event to another!)

I didn't take any photos at tea, but all the food offerings were tasty. Tonight was formal night, so we got cleaned up, took a few awkward photos, visited the Alchemy bar, and then headed to dinner.

All too soon, it was time to head back to the ship. Our surly taxi driver from the morning never showed up, but luckily one of the open-air guys offered us a ride back to the ship. He took us back in a different direction from our initial ride, so we got to see a bit more of the island, which was nice.

After we returned to the ship and cleaned up, we visited the Alchemy Bar before dinner. This would quickly become our favorite location on the ship. Annamaria was by far the best bartender I've ever had at ANY bar. She was funny, friendly, and definitely one of the highlights of our trip. As we were enjoying our first round, the Dr. Seuss parade came through. I was thankful that we didn't have a ton of kids on our sailing, because even this small group was LOUD.

This was our first dinner in the main dining room for this trip. We had late seating. I was hopeful that we'd be at a large table, but, sadly, we were placed at a six-top alone, right near the door. Our wait staff was friendly, especially the bar waitress, and the food was enjoyable all week, but I missed meeting people at dinner.

I don't remember anything special about that evening. The following day was a sea day. Other than the steakhouse cooking demonstration and high tea, we didn't have many plans. We spent the morning at the aft pool, which was PACKED. This was the first time in my cruising experience that I encountered chair hogs. I chose to sit at a table in the shade with my red-head friend while the other three enjoyed the sun. The wind was so strong that I spent most of the morning trying to keep the nearby chairs from blowing over.

I took the opportunity to enjoy my favorite frozen drink, a Kiss on the Lips.

Soon, it was time for the cooking demonstration. I was the only one in our group to make it to the steakhouse early, and I was the only one of us who was able to get a chair! Word to the wise: If you don't arrive at least 15 minutes prior to the demo, you will be shut out. This was a rapid-fire event, but the food was tasty (if a bit rushed).

After snorkeling, we headed back to the chairs for lunch and relaxation. We had several visitors throughout the day.

One of my friends and I split the mahi mahi sandwich. It was HUGE; sharing it was definitely a wise decision.

We enjoyed the whimsical napkin decor as well.

The staff at the dive/rental shack were all very friendly. We rented loungers and snorkel gear and picked out a prime location in the shade. After receiving instructions about the best snorkeling spots, we hit the water. All of us are avid snorkelers, and we'd heard that Sapphire was a great location for snorkeling from shore. We weren't disappointed. The water was clear (maybe a little too clear - the sunlight was so strong that my photos are a bit washed out), the coral reef was extensive, and there was a good variety of sea life. It wasn't the best snorkeling I've ever seen, but there was definitely plenty to keep us occupied for a couple of hours. Despite my best efforts, I didn't find any sea turtles or rays in the sea grass areas, but some of my friends did. I will mention, though, that this location is not one I'd recommend for weak swimmers. The coral is very close to the surface, and the currents are pretty strong once you get out away from the shore. We had a blast, but I can see how others might struggle under these conditions.

The next morning, I awoke as we were pulling into St. Thomas. Our plan for the day was to relax at Sapphire Beach.

As we were walking out of the port area, we were met by a slightly aggressive cab driver who asked if we wanted to go to the beach. Figuring there was safety in numbers, we went ahead and climbed in. He immediately started trying to talk us into going to Coki instead of Sapphire, claiming that there was no snorkeling at Sapphire and we wouldn't like it very much. We remained persistent and eventually just stopped responding to him. He finally got the message and delivered us to the entrance at Sapphire Beach. We told him we'd like to head back to the ship around 2 pm, and he promised to come back and pick us up.

As we walked onto the beach, we instantly knew that we had chosen the right beach for the day. Sapphire is absolutely gorgeous!

At long last, we were ready to check out our rooms! The three single girls were sharing a balcony on the Lido deck, and our married friends were in a 4J (walkway view) cabin, also on Lido. I will never share a stateroom with multiple people again. While we all got along great, it was just much too cramped for my taste. Of course, my last cruise before this one was a solo trip in a balcony, so I might have been a bit spoiled.

I turned Gold on this cruise, which sailed shortly after all the bruh-ha-ha over the past guest party changes. I had no idea what to expect. Apparently there was some confusion during the switchover, because I was given the free bottle of water, my Gold pin, a free drink coupon, AND an invitation to the past guest part. Score! I actually didn't go to the past guest party because the timing conflicted with something else I had planned, but still...

We had steakhouse reservations for the first night, so we quickly unpacked and changed for dinner (the contraband-containing suitcase arrived at the last possible second, while the others were at the rooms by the time we finally got there). The food and service were outstanding. (I didn't take food porn pictures - sorry - because it was too dark.) The standout dish was definitely the lamb. I was sorry that I wasn't the one who ordered it! Once again, our "youngster" was asked if she was old enough to drink. :D We received two free bottles of wine, one white and one red, both of which we found decent enough.

The muster drill announcements began just after we finished dinner. Despite the majority of the announcements being made in two languages, the drill didn't feel significantly longer than any other I've been a part of. It seemed like people arrived more promptly than usual, probably because they just wanted to get the drill over with! We explored the ship a little and then headed to bed. It had been a long day.

We intended to eat lunch at Raices, but the hostess said we would have to wait 45 minutes for a table, so we ate at a nearby restaurant called Genesis. I had the chicken mofongo. The prices were affordable, and the portions were generous. The food was good but did not compare to the previous night's visit to Orozco's.

Next, we headed over to Barrachina's for pina coladas. They were delicious and VERY strong, as anticipated. There was live entertainment and a huge crowd.

At this point, we were ready to board the ship, and the adventure began. On our walk down to the port, we ran into the infamous "Do you speak English?" guy. About one sentence into his spiel, I recognized the story and hustled my group away from him. It was mid-afternoon by the time we reached the port, and the lines were pretty short at that point. As we walked onto the ship, I was anticipating that familiar ding. Instead, I was greeted with an alarm and a very unhappy ship's officer. He immediately and aggressively demanded to know what I had packed that was not allowed on the ship. Now, anyone who knows me will tell you that I am most definitely Ms. Good Two-Shoes. The closest thing to contraband in my bag was probably my curling iron. I had no idea what he was talking about, and it was clear that he didn't believe a word I was saying. Finally, about five minutes into our altercation, he mentioned that it was ONE of the bags in our cabin (which I was sharing with the two other single women) that was a problem, but he wouldn't tell us whose bag contained the problem item. So, all five of us tromped down to deck 0 for a glimpse at the "naughty room". We were told that only one person could go and watch as the bag was opened, but they STILL refused to tell us whose name was on the problem bag. One friend had packed a rum runner and was convinced that she was the problem, so away she went...

...And we waited. And waited. And waited. Meanwhile, several other people had been sent into the baggage area and had come back with their now slightly emptier bags. Half an hour later, my friend reappeared from the elevator and said that it was the OTHER friend's bag that was the problem, so security was waiting for her. She had been gone so long because security wouldn't let her re-enter the ship the way she had left it, and no one told her that she would need her passport to get back on the ship, so a member of security had to escort her all the way up the gangplank. :rolleyes:

Friend number two went off to see what the problem is. It turns out that she had packed a pocket knife in her checked bag. This was her first cruise, and it never occurred to her that the knife wouldn't be allowed Oops. Security offered to hold the knife for her for the duration of the cruise. I guess they thought it was a diving knife, because they offered to get it for her if she wanted it in port. She didn't want to deal with the hassle, but Every. Single. Time. we entered or exited the ship, that same alarm would go off. Extensive explanations would follow, while we held up the boarding/disembarkation line. It was certainly my friend's mistake to pack the knife, but Carnival surely could have handled the incident in a more efficient and less antagonistic manner.