Cruising without the kids…

[MaiTaiMary]

I’m looking for some support/advice from parents of young kids who have cruised w/o the kids.

 

My DH and I are going on a cruise in a few months and as the date gets closer and closer, instead of getting more and more excited, I’m getting more and more nervous about leaving them. :( I’m starting to worry it’s going to effect how much I enjoy my trip.

 

My kids are 2 ½, 4, and 5. (The 5 year old will be on Spring break from Kindergarten. The other two aren’t in school yet.)

 

Anyway….I’m just getting more anxious about leaving them and I NEED somebody who has “been there, done that” to reassure me that they had a good time and managed to survive a week w/o the kids. :o

 

I keep telling myself I can’t go through every “what if” scenario in my head about things that can happen while we’re gone. I have a list of notes already for grandma and am just trying my best to go over as much as possible. Honestly, I’m just not sure what my biggest fear even is. Just the thought of being away from home and not being able to get to them immediately is becoming more and more worrisome.

 

 

HELP! :D

Positive advice only, please. I don’t want to hear any horror stories about when you left the kids or people telling me they could never do what I’m doing. I just need a little support from somebody who was in my situation and ended up having a great time. DH and I NEED some time together just the two of us. We haven’t been away together since our honeymoon (which will be 7 years next year) so I really do think in the long run this will be a good thing.

 

 

thanks.

[newbiecruiser09]

You will be fine and your kids will be more than fine. We left our kids last April with my parents. (they were a bit older-11 & 5-but it was also the first time we left them for longer than a day) I did a lot of pre-trip planning and left my folks about 14 pages of information (my kids were is school and had after school activities that they needed to get to) about what happens each day. I also made sure to leave them all the doctors' information and information about how to get to various places (school, ball fields, hospitals etc). I called the pediatrician and let them know who would be watching the kids and left a letter giving my parents permission to make decisions, seek care etc. Also did a "walk through" with my mom the day before we left so she would know where stuff was in the house. The one thing I did not point out was where the thermometer is--and DD did get sick and they needed it (they just bought a new one). She was fine after a day and gparents handled it very well.

 

We called when we got to FLA, called again just before sailaway and called when we docked back in FLA again. Also kept our cell phones on in case kids/gparents wanted to text us (much cheaper than calling)--they never did once! We did not call-figured let sleeping dogs lie.

 

The kids had a great time while we were away. They are very comfortable with my folks so that made it easy too.

 

Go, have a some good quality time with hubby. If you needed to get home, you could (it may cost some but it's doable). Don't sweat over everything that may happen. Enjoy and relax.

[dreaminofsun]

The first time we left our kids (actually so far it's been the only time) they were 5 and 7. We went to Cuba. The issue for me was not only missing them but guilt. I was worried that I would be looking around the whole time thinking "the kids would love this". What really helped with my guilt was that we planned two trips that winter. We went to Disney World with the kids and we had our trip so I didn't feel so bad about it. Also, the resort in Cuba didn't really have a lot for kids so I wasn't contantly thinking about what they were missing so if I were to do a cruise without them I wouldn't choose one that is geared to families because then I would probably feel bad.

We also bought some internet time and chatted with them (and grandparents) on MSN a few times so that helped ease our minds. Honestly, they were more than fine and I knew they would be, it was more about me and feeling guilty (which I shouldn't feel) for not taking them along. After the first day, I got over that and we were able to relax and have a good time so I'm sure you will too!

[cb at sea]

You've NEVER left your kids?

It's GOOD to let the kids know that mom and dad have "together" time. It's good to foster independence away from the parents! (That's the whole point of raising kids---to get them NOT to need mommy and daddy!)

You're leaving them with loving, trusted family....it's almost an insult to THEM to question leaving the kids with them. The kids will be FINE--and you should strive to have some lovely "adult" time. You are more than a parent...act like it!

Your kids will have a great time (and they will miss you less than you think--trust me on that!!!) and by going away, you teach them that you DO return! It's a win-win for everyone!

Go! Enjoy your grown-up vacation.

[MaiTaiMary]

I guess I meant we've never left them for a long trip before. We did go on a (one night) overnight trip. It was only about an hour away, though.

We've left them with Grandma many, many times for just the afternoon or the day, though.

 

 

One of my biggest concerns is that everybody is going to be bored! Grandma has never driven with the kids before and the plan was basically just for them to stay home or go to the park (which is in walking distance). She is a bit older than most grandparents w/ young kids (pushing 70), so it really isn't as easy for her as it for younger grandparents.

 

I want her to take the mini-van for a test drive around the neighborhood before we leave on our trip so in case she does need to drive them, she is more comfortable. (is that silly?? :o )

 

 

Its just not like leaving the kids with two sets of young, able-bodied grandparents. My mom is healthy and can get around just fine, but just isn't as young as she used to be, ya know :( But I guess if "cabin fever" is the worst thing that comes out of this trip, I'll be happy! *lol*

[iluvcruises]

You are going to have a great time and the kids will be fine. Believe me it will be harder on you then the kids as I am sure grandma and grandpa will be keeping them occupied! When we left our kids I felt the same way you are feeling now but once you walk on the ship and have your first drink in hand with your husband by your side, you will feel great.

 

I am not sure what ports you will be visiting but check with your cell phone carrier about adding the long distance package on your plan while you ar away. We did this and called the kids at each port. This made me feel better and when I heard they were having fun it made me be able to relax and enjoy myslef more.

 

Go have fun, the week will fly by and you will be thinking....when can we do this again...lol!

 

Enjoy

[cb at sea]

Perhaps a friend could take the kids for a couple hours every now and then to give grandma a "break"....

But, they'll be fine....if there is an emergency (God forbid!), then Grandma knows how to call 911. Grandparents would lay down their lives for their grandchildren...no one loves them more consistantly and with all their hearts than grandparents!

[MaiTaiMary]

Thanks for all of the reassuring advice. :)

 

 

. After the first day, I got over that and we were able to relax and have a good time so I'm sure you will too!

So good to hear!! :D

 

Has anybody else been in the same situation? Very nervous, but ended up having a great time??

[carolinesmom]

We try to get away without our children for a mini-vacation every 2 or 3 years. I personally was never that worried about leaving the kids when they were young. In our case my parent's live 900 miles away, so leaving them involves taking them to my parent's. Which makes it a little more complicated, but the kids always had a great time visiting grandma and grandpa. It was like a vacation for them, also. I think it will be even easier having your parent's in your house. Your children have all their toys and their own beds to sleep in. It is a great thing for children to spend some real time with their grandparents. And it is very important for married couples to spend time as a couple. Your children will be in very good hands. Relax and enjoy yourself! My oldest is now 14 and it is much tougher to leave her now, due to the boredom factor. So do it now while your children are young and will really enjoy spending time with grandma and grandpa. They will be teenagers before you know it!

[sprockie]

On our one and only vacation without kids, our daughter was about 1. It was a 10 day cruise plus a day or two before the cruise departed. A week was fine to be away, nice break, missed her a lot, but could have coped with a week - 10 days was WAAY to long for me to be away from her. Of course, she never missed a beat and had a great time with grandma, but from my perspective 7-8 days would have been ideal. A week goes by SO fast.

[Ula]

Remember Grandma knows a little bit about young kids. Would not worry about that. It will be more your comfort level. I remember my boss years ago decided to just take his wife for a weekend and leave the boys with a grandparent. The wife called home all the time. He said never again. They have not left those boys and two are now adults.

Although from comments I do not think they trust the house with the two adult boys who still live at home.

[jaixrx]

We've done it for our last 2 cruises. At the time they were 6 and 7 and then 7 and 8. It was totally fine! I will admit as we pulled away from the port that I had a wee bit of heartache but like the others have posted, it goes away and you and DH can focus on the two of you.

 

We would call when we arrived at every port and and my mom always said the same thing: "They're fine!" ...and they were. Go and enjoy yourselves!:)

[hooked-on-travel]

Last Jan. when DD was 3 1/2 we took a 3 nt cruise with some friends we don't see very often. By the time you add travel days on DD was with grama and papa for Thur -Tues...so almost a week. Grama stayed in town for gymnastics class on Fri, but then they went back to their town an hour away. So, for DD it was just like a very long visit to grama and papa's. Before that trip we had done two-night overnight alone at their house only once. I believe there had only been single night overnights alone twice. So yes, mom plenty concerned that things would go well for that long. I did everthing people here did to prepare (pack familiar toys/friends, notarize letter saying they could make medical decisions for her, write out dosages of over-the-counter 'what-if' medicines, etc.) and they were fine. On our return trip we called for bed time when we were changing planes in Atlanta and the reception was basically, "Mommy who?" I believe when Grama asked if she wanted to talk to mommy her response was, "No...but maybe Aunt Becky." That's when I knew she got through the week(end) just fine. And yours will too. Have a good trip.

[newbiecruiser09]

Has anybody else been in the same situation? Very nervous, but ended up having a great time??

 

Yep!!! :D

 

 

 

One of my biggest concerns is that everybody is going to be bored! Grandma has never driven with the kids before and the plan was basically just for them to stay home or go to the park (which is in walking distance). She is a bit older than most grandparents w/ young kids (pushing 70), so it really isn't as easy for her as it for younger grandparents.

 

I want her to take the mini-van for a test drive around the neighborhood before we leave on our trip so in case she does need to drive them, she is more comfortable. (is that silly?? :o )

 

 

Its just not like leaving the kids with two sets of young, able-bodied grandparents. My mom is healthy and can get around just fine, but just isn't as young as she used to be, ya know :( But I guess if "cabin fever" is the worst thing that comes out of this trip, I'll be happy! *lol*

 

Why not see if you can schedule a few playdates (at least for the older 2 kids) during the week (maybe during the little one's nap times?) at someone else's house? May give your mom a bit of a break and give the kids something to look forward to. We did this with my DD's friend when the friend's folks went away for the week. Also, maybe buy a few "new" movies/DVDs of shows that the kids have not seen so there will be something new to pull out if grandma gets in a pinch. I would also DEFINITELY have your mom drive the van (at least a few times) before you leave so she can feel like she can go out (even to the grocery) during the week.

[doclove]

For the past 2 years we have taken cruises without the kids. This year we felt we owe them one so we are taking the kids with us. Our kids are 11, 9, 7, and 4.

 

My wife made a binder that had the kids' schedules for the week about when they had school, appointments, etc... It also had other information about their likes and dislikes.

 

During the cruise we got the internet package and we would send them daily emails about what we were doing on the cruise. They would then send us a reply about what they were doing. When we went to Mexico we were also able to make a phone call to them to make sure everything was ok.

 

We found after the second cruise that they really didn't miss us much. We missed them more then they missed us. They were having too much fun with Grandma and Grandpa.

 

Just relax and have fun and remember to pick them up some souvenirs.

[MaiTaiMary]

Thanks so much for all of the reaasuring posts! :D Now I'm getting excited again. *lol*

 

Yeah, the "bordem" factor at home isn't really what is worrying me, just a concern, I guess. I'm sure they'll find stuff to do and be fine. Just more worried about all of the many "what ifs" that could go wrong. But I'll drive myself nuts if I keep trying to solve every possible problem that could go wrong! :o

 

My mom will be by herself. I'd feel TONS better if there was a "grandpa" in the picture in addition to grandma. But nope. Just grandma.

 

 

I already have a bunch of notes for when we're gone. But she is with them a lot so she knows their routines, likes/dislikes etc. Just not used to being with them 24/hr day.

 

 

 

During the cruise we got the internet package and we would send them daily emails about what we were doing on the cruise. They would then send us a reply about what they were doing. When we went to Mexico we were also able to make a phone call to them to make sure everything was ok.

 

Can you tell me more about this internet package?

 

Threads keep popping up in the carnival forum about keeping in touch back home, but they always end up with the OP getting chastised for wanting to contact somebody back home and then judged as to whether or not they should. :rolleyes:

 

I'll feel TONS better if I can log on to the internet in the morning and just get a brief "all is well back home! enjoy your day!" e-mail!! :D

 

What about making calls from Mexico? I think I read you're supposed to contact your cell phone provider and have something switched so you can make international calls? :confused: Can anybody tell me about this?

 

 

Again, thanks so much. I really appreciate this!

[MaiTaiMary]

Oh, and we're already planning a cruise for Fall 2011 with everybody!! :D I'd just like to wait until the kids are a little older. It'll be a very different experience with a family of 5 vs. just DH and myself, but I'm really looking forward to that trip as well. :)

[hooked-on-travel]

I remember when I was a teenager I babysat for a family with triplets. When the kids were something less than 2 (don't remember what) mom and dad went on a multi-day trip. Grandma stayed with them. She wasn't young and full of engergy, but she knew them well. The parents arranged for a babysitter (me) to come over every other day for a few hours. Grandma got to shower, rest, whatever. She didn't go anywhere, she just got some help. I lived close enough that I biked over, so grandma didn't have to come get me. You might consider arrangements like that if you think grandma might need some relief.

[Sky616]

Just left our 8 month old with DW parents a few weeks ago. Everything was fine. We told her what time we would be checking our email from the ship and she emailed us before that to tell us how his night was and how he was doing that day. It reassured us every day and we enjoyed our cruise immensely. We did take our 8 year old son with us so it was good to bond with him a little with all the attention going to the little one. Try to enjoy, you will believe me.

[silvertp]

We did a short cruise in July without our (then) 3 and 5 y/o kids. I was nervous about not being in contact for the four days, but had left the grandparents with the ship's phone number in case of dire emergency. We also bookmarked the ship's onboard camera on the grandparents web browser so the kids could see where we were whenever they liked. The kids had a wonderful time with their grandparents. The best part? My husband and I had a years worth of dates - movies, restaurants, bars, etc. Best thing for our relationship, and we're planning on another cruise VERY soon.

[doclove]

 

Can you tell me more about this internet package?

 

 

I don't know about Carnival, but on Princess and HAL they will typically offer packages of internet minutes. If you sign up on the first day you can usually get some bonus minutes. It isn't the fastest or cheapest internet, but it is enough to check your email and get status updates.

 

I just ignore those people who chastise others for using the Internet while on their cruise. It was worth the money that we paid just to make sure that everyone was safe back home. It was also much cheaper then paying for a phone call.

[Liltx31]

I think you should plan a 3 nighter away before the cruise. This will give your kids a test run. If they have only ever had one night away 7 or more night will be really tough. Esp. for the little one who won't really get it that you are coming back without practice.

 

I also think you need to hire someone to come over everyday to help your mom and get the kids out of the house for awhile. My parents plan something for each day and my mom makes a picture calendar so they can see what they are doing each day and count down the days until we get back. This usually includes : the Zoo, Rainforrest Cafe, Children's Museum, Children's Treehouse, a movie, a play at the Magik Theater, and an indoor play place when it rains. They also have a large Rainbow Swingset at their house. They are much younger than your mom and they both stay home (split the time between ours and theirs) with just my 2 girls and they are tired at the end of the stay. That's why I think you should get her the help.

 

Get small gifts for each day. Something to keep them busy like playdough, new DVD's, bubbles, sidewalk chalk.

 

Try not to worry about emergencies. But you need to have a letter notorized authorizing her to make desicions about their care when you are gone.

 

When calling think about whether it will benefit your children to talk to you or make them miss you more. My kids are fine with talking to me but I know some kids get more homesick. If your children are like this call but just talk to your mom.

 

My story: DH and I take 2-3 vacations a year together out of state. We mostly do 3-5 days but sometimes go 9 or more. We began doing this when DD1 was 13 months (I nursed so that's why it wasn't earlier). My children gain just as much as we do by spending the time with their grandparents. They love it and always ask when we are going on a trip again. They spend at one weekend a month with them as well. My parents love it too and always want them to visit.

 

Have Fun! I am a big believer that you must put your marriage first in order to have a healthy family.

 

Monica

[MaiTaiMary]

Yowza. I appreciate the suggestions but.... another trip, daily expensive outings, daily gifts, and daily hired help just isn't in our budget.

Kids will be some new art supplies (they all love drawing), library books, and some outings to the park! :D

 

Yeah, I'm sure the kids will wear her out. Shoot, I'm 39 and they wear ME out! *lol* But they're all three in bed by 7:00p and don't wake up during the night, so that's a huge help at least.

 

 

I really appreicate all of the posts, tips, and words on encouragement. :) The morning I wrote this, I was really feeling very anxious about the whole thing. Now I feel very much back on track and am looking forward to the trip even more!

[hooked-on-travel]

Then we did our job. The 'hired help' I was thinking was the $10 for 2 hours every other day neighbor girl, but I know not every neighborhood has one of those. Have a great trip. :)

[Liltx31]

Yowza. I appreciate the suggestions but.... another trip, daily expensive outings, daily gifts, and daily hired help just isn't in our budget.

Kids will be some new art supplies (they all love drawing), library books, and some outings to the park! :D

 

Yeah, I'm sure the kids will wear her out. Shoot, I'm 39 and they wear ME out! *lol* But they're all three in bed by 7:00p and don't wake up during the night, so that's a huge help at least.

 

 

I really appreicate all of the posts, tips, and words on encouragement. :) The morning I wrote this, I was really feeling very anxious about the whole thing. Now I feel very much back on track and am looking forward to the trip even more!

 

Go to your mother's house and let her practice with the kids at your house. You don't have to spend money on that. It's just to give your kids the experience of you leaving and coming back. I think this is THE most important way you can prepare your kids. You have only left them for one night ever right. They will not understand you being gone so long without a little practice.

The hired help can be 2 hours a day for $10 bucks a hour so about $120. She can take them to the library, MacDonald's, or other cheap things. She could even take them to the park you mention just to give your mom a rest. I was just telling you what my parents do, not what you have to do. The outings could be really cheap. And yes, if you don't plan to have them go anywhere then I would spend the $10 a day to get them gifts. Such as playdough, DVD, game etc.