My partner and I don't go to the formal dinners - Are we missing something?

[Rubio2001]

My partner of 12 years and I have gone on about 5-6 cruises in the past several years. Because both him and I come from very humble beginnings, neither of us ever wore a suit, let alone a tuxedo, until we were adults. Even then, it has not been something that we were very comfortable with. We're not hicks or anything (he owns a Mexican restaurant and I do the corporate management thing - casual dress thank goodness) It is just not in our background I guess. However, as all of you know, there are a couple of dinners we obviously miss out on because we don't want to pack a suit, tux, nada. Are we missing anything on these nights? It always seemed a little pretentious to us, and I guess that is why we have avoided going. Anyway, first time 'poster' so thanks.

[Hobie]

Yes. I think that you are missing something.

Just speaking personally. Not telling you guys what to do because I think everbydoy should do what they are comfortable with.

BUT...One of the main reasons that I like to wear my tux on formal nights is to re-live (pretend) the glamour of yesteryear when everybody on a cruise wore formal attire every night. I'm a "role-playing" kind of guy, so I like to assume that role of sophisticated cruiser!

I also think that men look really sexy when they are wearing their tux (and like to think that I look sexy!!). Of course, I wear a suit every day at work, so wearing a tux isn't that much more work!

Again...Just a personal opinion. Not telling you guys what to wear but giving one reasone why I like to wear my tux.

Hobie

[CelebrityMan]

Hi Rubio,

 

You sound like a delightful couple. And congratulations on being a couple in successful corporate endeavors.

 

Personally, I love the ambience of the formal nights. It has the feeling of a grand reception in a luxurious setting, maybe harkening back to the glory days of classic sea travel when dressing for dinner was de rigueur. It's all part of the modern cruise experience.

 

Humble beginnings aside, you might find you enjoyed the dressing up. My partner came from a very unpretentious background. When I took him on our first cruise together he wasn't all that excited about doning a tuxedo. But, he was so hooked on the whole experience that when we got home he bought one for the next cruise (which we hadn't even booked yet). And he has since revelled in getting accessories for each succeeding cruise.

 

Nevertheless, if dressing up would cause you to feel you'd be doing something abhorent, then continue as you are. Many lines offer in-cabin dining from the main dining room menu, and many offer butler service to somewhat replicate the service in the dining room.

 

One suggestion. Next time try pairing a navy blazer with charcoal dress slacks. It's less than a full suit, but you'd be dressy and might not feel like you were totally outside the requested dress for the evening.

 

Above all, continue to have a great time vacationing aboard ships!

 

Kind Regards,

 

 

 

 

 

CM

[Joe and Ivan]

Hi Rubio,

 

We would hate to miss out on the special entrees that are served on formal nights, especially lobster and rack of lamb. On most ships, these will not be available if you go to the food bar for alternative dining. If you want to be photographed together, the photographers are omnipresent on formal nights also.

 

We don't like to dress up either. We live in a beach resort where we usually don't even wear shoes. Most ship dress codes allow you to wear a dark suit instead of a tuxedo. We don't spend a lot of money on a tuxedo. Some people prefer to rent a tux from the cruise company. At least, that saves you the extra packing. And there are some cruise lines (Oceania, Windstar) that don't expect people to dress up.

 

Happy cruising,

 

Ivan

South Padre Island, Texas

[James&Rob]

Hello Rubio

 

Go ahead and try it you will enjoy it I think me and my partner of 13 years jan 10 always do formal night we have pictures made and we enjoy going to the captains party (free drinks) Lol I had never been the one to put a suit on just to eat either but Its kinda fun and by the way you dont have to wear a tux you can wear a nice suit or I wear a dark blue jacket tie and kaki pants Just go and have a great time if you dont want to do the formal thing thats ok too Its your vacation Just Have Fun By the way congrats for staying togeather that long I like hearing guys that stay with one person not bouncing from one to another Have fun me and my partner will be on the victory march 6 James

[garykool81]

Guys,

 

It's your vacation...do what you feel comfortable doing :-)

 

My partner and I enjoy getting dressed up in suit and tie for the formal and informal nights, but plenty of other folks do not and choose to dine in other venues for formal evenings rather than pull out the tux, etc.

 

To be honest, we also skipped our first formal nights, feeling intimidated by the whole thing, on our first two cruises. Now, we both enjoy them with a passion.

 

I'd say give it a try, see what happens...but otherwise, just have a good time :-)

[DaveWA]

Hi Rubio,

I've been on 5 cruises with RCCL. Every night I have eaten dinner in the dining room and dressed for formal night and tend to enjoy it. HOWEVER, on the last few cruises it became apparant that due to the "2 plus hours" in the dining room I was missing the sunsets (early seating).

 

My last cruise we ate in the Windjammer every night except for Formal night. Formal night we did the dress up thing and had particularly slow wait staff. I also found that it is usually too warm with the suit jacket and tie. All six of the people at our at the table were on time and we were being hurried at the end so they could set up for the next seating. There were probably 5 to 10 tables with people at them when we were asked to hurry. This was as they served our desserts.

 

Undoubtedly the food is better in the dining room, and dressing up is fun. But, I think for a vacation I'd like to be a little more in control. No schedules, no hurrying, I don't think I'll even pack my suit in the next cruise.

[scamper]

My partner of 12 years and I have gone on about 5-6 cruises in the past several years. Because both him and I come from very humble beginnings, neither of us ever wore a suit, let alone a tuxedo, until we were adults. Even then, it has not been something that we were very comfortable with. We're not hicks or anything (he owns a Mexican restaurant and I do the corporate management thing - casual dress thank goodness) It is just not in our background I guess. However, as all of you know, there are a couple of dinners we obviously miss out on because we don't want to pack a suit, tux, nada. Are we missing anything on these nights? It always seemed a little pretentious to us, and I guess that is why we have avoided going. Anyway, first time 'poster' so thanks.

 

I'm assuming that by asking if you are missing anything you mean besides dinner, right? Kidding. Anyway, I have to admit that I'm a stickler for the dress codes and I choose the lines that I sail on with the dress codes in mind.

I wear a tuxedo or dinner jacket on the formal nights and, at the minimum, a jacket on all the others except the first and the last. While I agree that it's one's vacation and one should be able to do what one wants, keep in mind that there are lines like Norwegian on the mass market side and Seadream on the upscale side that don't suggest jackets on any evening. There are also Windstar and Windjammer that promote a casual atmosphere. Were I in your position, I would choose a line that promotes a more casual ambience and you will have just as enjoyable a cruise as one that is more formal.

[backes]

Hey, Rubio! My partner and I think that getting dressed up for dinner is fun, and we enjoy the more sophisticated atmosphere on formal nights, so we always bring our tuxes on board and we never miss a formal night. If you don't like to get dressed up, though, you shouldn't...vacation is a time to relax and to only do the things that you enjoy! Most ships have alternative dining options available where you can dress more casually. There's also room service, which can be very enjoyable and romantic! Many cruise lines are eliminating formal nights all together, so that may be something for you to consider when planning your next cruise. If you do decide to put on your tuxedos and attend a formal dinner, don't forget to have your photo taken before and/or during dinner!

[SCOTHEIM]

Hello Fellas -

My s/o and I prefer to leave the suits and tuxes at home when we vacation. On formal nights we order room service and have a very romantic evening.

 

On our last cruise we did meet up with a great group who wouldn't let us skip out on the formal nights - they talked to the Maitre d' and he insisted that we join the table. This was on Celebrity 12 day western. It was a wonderful cruise - probably our best.

 

I do think we would have missed three great evenings had we ordered room service - but that would have been due to missing the people not the meal or dress up had we wore tuxedoes. (we were in sport coats and ties)

We did feel out of place not being dressed properly and hurried in and out of the dinning room.

The next cruise we take will probably be on Oceania because of the dress code.

 

That being said I do think everyone looks smashing in formal wear it's just not for us. My partner was forced to dress everyday of his life in Baptist school and now does the same for work. So he hates it. I don't mind it quite as much but also don't want to lug extra clothes on vacation. We just like to relax.

 

Be gentle with your replies all you "tuxies" and gliteraties.

[garykool81]

That being said I do think everyone looks smashing in formal wear it's just not for us. My partner was forced to dress everyday of his life in Baptist school and now does the same for work. So he hates it. I don't mind it quite as much but also don't want to lug extra clothes on vacation. We just like to relax.

 

Be gentle with your replies all you "tuxies" and gliteraties.

 

Nothing wrong with that at all! To each his own...and I think it's great you're both not the type of crash formal night in jeans, either lol :-)

 

Oceania appears to be a great line...we're really looking forward to our cruise with them in November!

[bepsf]

Formal nights, the service and menu in the main dining room are typically a cut above the rest of the nights - filet mignon, lobster, caviar, escargot, etc. - particularly the last formal night which is when the traditional Baked Alaska Parade occurs.

 

Of course the line you choose to sail on will determine the degree of pomp and circumstance - I've heard tell of one line where the "Baked Alaska" was actually a plastic lump w/ a sparkler stuck in the top!

 

Go or don't go, but I think it's a shame for someone to limit their life experiences based on the fact that they don't typically wear suits - after all it's really just a jacket, a shirt, a tie and a pair of pants...

[Rubio2001]

Wow...I didn't expect as many opions.

 

Well after some discussion we decided, 'what the hell.'

 

For one night we can wander the ship, newly appointed patricians, out for a noble stroll on our personal ocean greyhound, mingling with other cosmopolitans.

 

So thanks guys. Your input will help us take a step up the gaydom ladder to a higher level of urbanity (albeit a very, very small step...).

 

But we don't have to wear those funny shoes...right?

[bdjam]

For one night we can wander the ship, newly appointed patricians, out for a noble stroll on our personal ocean greyhound, mingling with other cosmopolitans.

 

You never know – it may become a habit! Have fun!

[togachisan]

The first time I cruised I was only 28. It was 21 years ago. It was a very straight cruise. I shared a room with a straight man who was somewhere my age. Every night he showed up in a different costume: from a bright yellow tux to pale blue. That is what I remember about the cruise dinners/formal dinners. In addition, the older women wanted to introduce me to their nieces. Half of the passengers were coughing and sneezing all over the ship. That is the image that was ingrained in my mind. However, after a 20 year break I have just booked my first cruise on the Infinity. Hopefully, me and my partner would have a good time but I am not wearing a tux, let alone a yellow tux (LOL) to the formal dinner.

 

I have some nice ties but I woud rather wear something instead. What is in? Can I wear a shirt without a tie/bow tie? Any recommendations?

[Oppgaard]

I have gotten around the dressing up and feeling out of place by wearing a black tux jacket over a black mock turtleneck and black pants and then drape a cardinal red scarf around the neck and let it hang down from the lapels. The first time I did this I was meeting people in the bar for drinks and when we were having our picture taken, people came by and said, "Good evening, Father." I got such a kick out of it that I have been doing it ever since and it never fails that people think I am a man of the cloth. I have now added to the wardrobe scarves of different colors and motiffs. They have become a fun part of formal night and is a great conversation topic. I still look formal, black tux, but black mock turtleneck and the scarves.

 

Just an idea.

[geoherb]

I enjoy wearing my tuxedo on cruises. It's about the only time I get to wear it. My partner usually brings his, but sometimes he opts for a dark suit.

 

One of my favorite things is to take a romantic walk outside--either on the promenade deck or top deck--while we're dressed up.

[BuckeyeCruiser]

If I can get my husband to dress up for formal nights and actually it enjoy it for a little while then anyone can:)

[ScottC4746]

I agree it is your cruise do what you want, however yes you are missing out. Even if you do buffet for breakfast and lunch you MUST do the dinners in the main dinning room. The service is great (called flying service in the restaurant industry) and the food is wonderful. You will have things you never dreamed of. A cruise was where I first had escargot, lobster, baked alaska and a host of other things I cannot afford nor care to attempt to cook.

Sadly, the dress has changed. Cruise lines had to drop their fares and by so doing it changed the clientel. Unless you are on the QE2 or QM2 or another Cunard Cruise line or similar cruise, dark suits work equally as well on formal nights and light suits on casual nights. Gone are the days of the dinner jackets, and besides it made people look like the waiter.