Helllllllllllp....Safety Concerns

[trock]

I think the Op is making too much of this. The mother can only cause problems if you let her cause problems.

 

Unless there was a specific thing that said you had to get her premission before taking the child on vacation, she would get a call the morning I was leaving saying we will be on vacation for the next 7 days. We will let you know when we get back.

 

If she wants to throw a fit when you return, just tell her you took your 50% on vacation and her 50% came too.

 

The child doesn't need a passport.

 

And what happens when/if the ex calls the police and tells them the father is kidnapping the child?

He made not need a password but a parental permission letter is needed

[misguidedangel]

The only pirate ships you will encouter in the Caribbean will be replicas of pirate ships and gladly welcome tourists aboard for a rollicking good time to see what life as a pirate was like....Alas, the "pirates" are locals/or actors and the ship is not sail powered, no it has an marine engine....

 

Your husbands ex, I sense, is envious that their child is going to be able to go and she is not.

 

Height of railing--I am 5'8" tall and when I lean against the railings my ribs are level with the railing.....

 

The only way your step-son is oging overboard is if he climbs on a chair and jumps over the balcony...now if your in a OV or inside, no worries!!!!!!!!

[socbay3]

I am probably going to get flamed for this, BUt I really don't care. We have joint custody of my step-daughter now 14 but we have primary residence. We took her on her first cruise and never told her or her mother(cause when we suggested taking her on a cruise seh flipped) that we were going on a cruise. It was during our visitation and we were back before she went to her mothers. Her signature is on the court papers and I forged her name to the permission letter and we were off. They never asked for the permission letter just the birth certificate. My step-daughter told her mother she went on a cruise and of course she flipped. She even brought us to court for soul custody for putting her daughter in danger. Needless to say the judge saw how she acted and she did NOT get custody(we still have custody) and the judge put it in our papers we are the soul people to apply for a passport and we can take her out of the country(vacations) without her mothers permission as long as it does not interfear with her mothers visits! We have the ex-wife from H*LL so I wish you the verys best of luck! Oh yea she has been on 4 cruises now!

[donaldsc]

Rather than spending all the money on lawyers, invite her to come with, and split the cost, she will see it is safe, you don't have to spend time with her, and your son gets to come with on vacation.

 

Better still - invite her to come and push her overboard.

 

DON

[waldocruiser1]

Better still - invite her to come and push her overboard.

 

DON

 

NO don't push her over, but have her check the height of the rail, and agree that the rail is too low and your daughter could fall over, "like this" and problem is solved. Then when they ask, she was making her point of the danger and fell over board.

[Crystalbast]

There are two sides to every story and no one on this board knows the other side. If the biological mother is pregnant and hormonal there could be some concern (rational or irrational) that maybe if the father takes the child out of the country he won't bring the child back. We do not know the whole story and the OP can post any story that she wants to on this Board.

 

There is a reason why both parents have to sign off on passports and authorization when a child is taken out of the country. Better to err on the side of caution. It is not like this is the only time the child will be able to take a cruise. In a few more years the child will be old enough to have a say in the courts and be able to go on a vacation like a cruise with his Dad. In the mean time, both parties are playing tug of war with the child.

[salty dingo]

We are having to work with a mediator to help determine whether my husbands ex-wife will allow thier son to go on our cruise with us. She claims she is concerned for his safety; more specifically, pirates and kidnapping.

No wonder she is divorced. That gal is a mental case! :D

 

Good luck dealing with her. Have a backup plan in case the boy cannot go.

[Soonerbaby]

There are two sides to every story and no one on this board knows the other side. If the biological mother is pregnant and hormonal there could be some concern (rational or irrational) that maybe if the father takes the child out of the country he won't bring the child back. We do not know the whole story and the OP can post any story that she wants to on this Board.

 

There is a reason why both parents have to sign off on passports and authorization when a child is taken out of the country. Better to err on the side of caution. It is not like this is the only time the child will be able to take a cruise. In a few more years the child will be old enough to have a say in the courts and be able to go on a vacation like a cruise with his Dad. In the mean time, both parties are playing tug of war with the child.

 

Really...? How many incidents have you heard of where parents take their kids on cruises and don't return? It's obvious where they last got off of the ship, there is tracking for that. The truth of the matter is, the child does not even need a passport. If we were going to abscond with him, do you really think we would make a spectacle of the fact that we were going on a cruise or for that matter be having any conversations at all about it? And, as far as there being two sides to every story...if the mother posts her side you are welcome to respond to that, but please don't respond to mine in her defense. She is denying her child a wonderful opportunity, and we have a family of 6, so there are 5 other people involved in this vacation. The 3 older kids will be well into thier late twenties by the time the youngest it 18. So, NO, we are not postponing or cancelling our vacation plans because she wants to exhibit a little control. That is why they have mediators and the court system..for people like her.

[Cruise, J.D.]

There is a reason why both parents have to sign off on passports and authorization when a child is taken out of the country.

 

Nope. Not always true. If one parent has sole legal custody, then the other parent's consent is not needed.

 

http://travel.state.gov/passport/get/minors/minors_834.html

[keishashadow]

We absolutely feel like she is just being spiteful. She likes having control and putting my husband in positions where it seems he "needs" or "wants" something from her. Anyway, the child will be 12 when we sail. It's an Ocean View room. She hasn't even contacted us to discuss it...when my husband spoke to her, (she is pregnant) she said her doctor said she couldn't have any stress, so she couldn't discuss it.

 

The theory behind the mediation is that both parties come to an agreement, and both parties live up to the agreement. We added it into our joint custody modification because she is very controlling. There is no sole custody, no primary custodial parent, we had that removed as well.

 

We did mention in our last email to her that when we tried to google information regarding pirates kidnapping kids in the Caribbean, all results returned included Johnny Depp! :D She may not have appreciated that.

 

I know we have to have her permission to take him out of the country and to get his passport.

 

it's been awhile for me in this situation, it was explained to me that mediation isn't binding & that parties always have the option of having decisions reviewed by a judge.:confused:court costs to be the responsibility of the party that doesn't agree w/arbitrator

 

the following is my experience and those of friends, things may have changed...i'm just throwing this out there to help you prepare:

 

*I had it written into agreement, i could take my kids anywhere with 24 hour notice to ex. supposedly, it's necessary to mention the issue vs assumption? whatever, that's why the lawyer got the big bucks

 

*probably, can still request that the court rule on whether child may leave the country w/parent (whether a one-time accommodation or permanent part of custody arrangement). Sadly, thinking if cruise happens during the school year, it can be refused if other parent brings that fact up in their argument as detrimental to child's education

 

*It's rare to hear of a true joint custody w/o one parent being named primary custodial parent. Typically, the the parent who actually has physical custody most of the time, will return to court requesting a modification.

 

*Many non-custodial parents aren't allowed to take their kids out of the state, let alone the country, without notification to the parent/court due to disappearances.

 

Good luck, hope this all works out for you, let us know.:)

[halos]

I think the Op is making too much of this. The mother can only cause problems if you let her cause problems.

 

Unless there was a specific thing that said you had to get her premission before taking the child on vacation, she would get a call the morning I was leaving saying we will be on vacation for the next 7 days. We will let you know when we get back.

 

If she wants to throw a fit when you return, just tell her you took your 50% on vacation and her 50% came too.

 

The child doesn't need a passport.

 

LMAO...you seriously think it's that simple, huh??

[Cruise, J.D.]

I think the Op is making too much of this. The mother can only cause problems if you let her cause problems.

 

Unless there was a specific thing that said you had to get her premission before taking the child on vacation, she would get a call the morning I was leaving saying we will be on vacation for the next 7 days. We will let you know when we get back.

 

If she wants to throw a fit when you return, just tell her you took your 50% on vacation and her 50% came too.

 

The child doesn't need a passport.

 

Uh, the OP has already addressed this. The OP's husband does not have sole legal custody and it appears the custody agreement requires mediation.

 

The theory behind the mediation is that both parties come to an agreement, and both parties live up to the agreement. We added it into our joint custody modification because she is very controlling. There is no sole custody, no primary custodial parent, we had that removed as well.

[Wineshipper]

I would guess that this has nothing to do with safety or pirates. The ex is looking to make your husband miserable. From what you have posted, sounds like you have had to take actions to deal with issues in the past.

 

I would also venture to guess that she cannot compete with such a vacation and is resentfull that you can. The ex will not be happy until everyone is as miserable as she is.

 

Stay reasonable and on point at mediation. Be prepared for this type of behavior to continue in the future.

 

Sorry, been there, done that. Now my sons are grown and I have a very good relationship with them. One story that comes to mind. My oldest was in the AF and tranfered from Germany to NM. His wife was pregnant and went into labor while visiting us on the way. As it turned out an AF hospital was only 5 minutes from our house and lots of family in the area. Good timing under the circumstances. My ex gave my son a really bad time about having the baby here instead of while visiting her!

Sons response was get over it.

 

Best of luck

[Soonerbaby]

it's been awhile for me in this situation, it was explained to me that mediation isn't binding & that parties always have the option of having decisions reviewed by a judge.:confused:court costs to be the responsibility of the party that doesn't agree w/arbitrator

 

the following is my experience and those of friends, things may have changed...i'm just throwing this out there to help you prepare:

 

*I had it written into agreement, i could take my kids anywhere with 24 hour notice to ex. supposedly, it's necessary to mention the issue vs assumption? whatever, that's why the lawyer got the big bucks

 

*probably, can still request that the court rule on whether child may leave the country w/parent (whether a one-time accommodation or permanent part of custody arrangement). Sadly, thinking if cruise happens during the school year, it can be refused if other parent brings that fact up in their argument as detrimental to child's education

 

*It's rare to hear of a true joint custody w/o one parent being named primary custodial parent. Typically, the the parent who actually has physical custody most of the time, will return to court requesting a modification.

 

*Many non-custodial parents aren't allowed to take their kids out of the state, let alone the country, without notification to the parent/court due to disappearances.

 

Good luck, hope this all works out for you, let us know.:)

 

Thank you. These are helpful. We actually share time 50/50, and had the "no primary custodial parent" written in due to the fact that she wanted to control every aspect of everything right up to insisting that he have his own bedroom.

[keishashadow]

Thank you. These are helpful. We actually share time 50/50, and had the "no primary custodial parent" written in due to the fact that she wanted to control every aspect of everything right up to insisting that he have his own bedroom.

 

it's sad to have to deal with this when a vindictive spouse just can't get on with their lives.

 

the mandatory child having own bedroom proviso is a new one on me...as if it would scar a child to share a BR w/same sex siblings (step or not?):confused:

 

it got to the point where even after everything was supposedly 'settled' the ex continuted to file stupid motions. My lawyer had it written in to our agreement that any 'nuisance' type filings (TBD by judge's discretion), would result in the ex being responsible for my legal fees...the BS stopped quickly;)

[CanWeGoYet?]

Unless the ex has documentation of poor parenting, lack of supervision, etc, my guess is the mediation will find for letting you bring the child on the cruise. Good luck, I hope it works out and you all get to enjoy the cruise together.