Need advice~Fiance's ex won't let us have the kids for vacation!

[LemurCat]

I can just imagine that the mother of the children is going to be more vindictive in the future and just cause you more problems. Not a great situation for the children to be in.

 

Have a fun cruise.

 

Wow, Debbie Downer, thanks for dousing that celebration with a vat of vinegar.

 

Hopefully the mother has learned that being vindictive does nothing but hurt her kids ... and that the courts don't take kindly to that.

[FloridaGators]

Have a wonderful cruise!!!

[happycruiser1942]

I'm not sure how she reacted, she HATES me so I figured it was best to stay away. If she will not give us the passports, I have their birth certificates already.

 

The kids are so HAPPY! But a little worried too, they have to live their and she is not going to make it pleasant for them I'm sure!

 

It was all about the CONTROL factor for her, she does not take them on vacation and wanted to control ours! Will never book a vacation like this again though until the kids are 18!

 

Very thankful that I have a good relationship with my ex, couldn't do this on both sides. We have always agreed to back each other and allow the parent they are with to do what they want (as long as it doesn't harm them of course)!

[chrislynnet]

Wow, Debbie Downer, thanks for dousing that celebration with a vat of vinegar.

 

LOL! Seriously, if I had been drinking coffee I would have spit it all over my keyboard as soon as I read your response to bplazo. As soon as I read her post I pictured Eyore saying "Have a nice cruise." :rolleyes:

 

Anyway, congratulations to the OP! That's great news!

[cruisee<3]

congratulations :) im happy for u!

[Elaine515]

Just got a copy of the order that was filed at 2:11 this afternoon that states that the kids CAN go on vacation with us! Their mother had no good reason except she didn't want them to go!

 

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW..........................:p

 

 

 

Very very cool.... Now you can make your fiance your husband on the cruise while the kids are all present!!!! WTG.... Have a great time ....

[songbird1329]

I would have asked the court to direct her to turn over the passports....but maybe she will do it if you remind her that her kids will be the ones stranded in a foreign country if something should go wrong on the cruise.

 

Make sure to take a copy of that order with you!! that's your proof that you can legally take the kids out of the country.

 

and enjoy the cruise.

[grandmato4]

Just got a copy of the order that was filed at 2:11 this afternoon that states that the kids CAN go on vacation with us! Their mother had no good reason except she didn't want them to go!

 

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW..........................:p

 

Based on everything that you've written here I had no doubt that the judge would approve of the trip BUT the only way to avoid trouble after the fact was to get a judges approval. Yes, its a pain, but a worthwhile one!:) Congrats!!!!!:) Have a great cruise!

[happycruiser1942]

According to our attorney if she doesn't give us passports we still can go with birth cert. and court order, we no longer need a signed letter from her.

 

We were planning on getting married on the beach in Jacksonville the evening before we leave on the cruise. Thats is why it was so important for us to have all the kids there. Didn't want to jinx it though!

[LemurCat]

According to our attorney if she doesn't give us passports we still can go with birth cert. and court order, we no longer need a signed letter from her.

 

We were planning on getting married on the beach in Jacksonville the evening before we leave on the cruise. Thats is why it was so important for us to have all the kids there. Didn't want to jinx it though!

 

Fingers crossed for you. Go and have a great time. And congratulations.

[songbird1329]

According to our attorney if she doesn't give us passports we still can go with birth cert. and court order, we no longer need a signed letter from her.

 

We were planning on getting married on the beach in Jacksonville the evening before we leave on the cruise. Thats is why it was so important for us to have all the kids there. Didn't want to jinx it though!

 

Exactly. that's why I said bring the court order, it's "better" than a letter from her allowing you to take the kids. Having the passports would be the best scenario, but you don't need them to prove that the kids are allowed to go on the cruise.

[mebecindi]

YAY for you and your family. So glad that everyone gets to go.

 

PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE post a review and some pics of your cruise when you return.....

[bplazo]

Wow, Debbie Downer, thanks for dousing that celebration with a vat of vinegar.

 

Hopefully the mother has learned that being vindictive does nothing but hurt her kids ... and that the courts don't take kindly to that.

 

Not being a downer just a warning that it is probably not over yet. The mother needs to listen to Judge Judy because I like her remark that you have to love your children more than you hate your ex.

[ms-getaway]

Happy for you!!!...be sure to get those passports ASAP!

[nrdsb4]

Not being a downer just a warning that it is probably not over yet. The mother needs to listen to Judge Judy because I like her remark that you have to love your children more than you hate your ex.

 

 

I like that too. I'll never forget a show Dr. Phil did on a couple going through a really really acrimonious divorce. Both were nasty, but the mother in particular was the most bitter, vile human I've seen in a long while. She would put her kid in the middle of some of the ugliest disputes and watched her coldly as her daughter sobbed about the time "Mommy made me call the police on Daddy." The child actually had to watch her Dad be taken off in handcuffs for a false domestic violence accusation! At one point in the conversation, she told Dr. Phil "I love my daughter more than anything-there's nothing I wouldn't do for her." He replied, "Based on your actions, I'd say that's certainly not true. You care more about feeding your need for vicious drama than the emotional well being of your daughter." I wanted to stand up and cheer-she deflated like a pricked balloon. Bad news that lady was. No telling how that poor little girl has turned out.:mad:

[conchead]

I am really glad everything worked out for you!!

 

I do have to say..I am very happy me and my ex get along so good.

We haven't come close to having any kind of argument since the day our

divorce was final.

 

My wife and I have taken my son on one cruise and have another booked

for the 3 of us this summer.:)

[Newfun4me]

Congrats on getting it all worked out!!!! Have fun!

[jks336]

I'm not sure how she reacted, she HATES me so I figured it was best to stay away. If she will not give us the passports, I have their birth certificates already.

 

The kids are so HAPPY! But a little worried too, they have to live their and she is not going to make it pleasant for them I'm sure!

 

It was all about the CONTROL factor for her, she does not take them on vacation and wanted to control ours! Will never book a vacation like this again though until the kids are 18!

 

Very thankful that I have a good relationship with my ex, couldn't do this on both sides. We have always agreed to back each other and allow the parent they are with to do what they want (as long as it doesn't harm them of course)!

 

I am so happy for all of you!! and yes, a little of a downer thinking of what it will be like for them when they go home. just remind them that as unfair as she was trying to be, she is still their mother and as long as she doesnt abuse them to give her the respect as their mother.

 

and the sad thing is, she was and is only hurting them because of her anger. i had alot of anger for my ex and would sit there with my friend *itching about him, then realized my daughter didn't have anything to do with what happened between us, and she didn't need to hear me complaining. i so hate it when parents use kids like this. i'm very glad you and your ex are being grown ups, unlike the "mom" there.

 

again congrats!! and congrats on your wedding, may you all have a happy and healthy life together as a family!

[cruisinhogfan]

Congratulations on the wonderful news!! I know those girls are happy and what a wonderful treat that you will all be together for your wedding. Congrats on the nuptials too.

 

Having to deal with an ex (trust me, my hunsands ex is evil...the things she has done to the boys out of jealousy and spite.....well, let's just say I could see some pretty nasty posts from our fellow CC buds) can be testy and I am glad to see that you handled it with maturity and grace. Your situation was a prime example why I told my DH that we would NEVER take his sons on a cruise before they were 18 even though our children (ages 2, 4, & 6) have been.

 

Now, you have nothing to worry about in regards to this cruise (except for what all you ladies are going to pack):p. Have a wonderful wedding and cruise and let us all know how much fun you all had.

[johnjen]

Just got a copy of the order that was filed at 2:11 this afternoon that states that the kids CAN go on vacation with us! Their mother had no good reason except she didn't want them to go!

 

SO HAPPY RIGHT NOW..........................:p

 

Sounds like a bad case of rank jealousy to me, but I am pleased that this thread turned into some good news! I hope you all have fun and her two kids come back with not even a single fridge magnet for their mother!

[PeggyMc]

Congratulations! And your planning on getting married right before, that is great. It might explaine a lot about the mothers behavior.

 

Jealous maybe, but maybe just hurt & confused. Divorce sucks plain and simple. It is hard on everyone and sometimes people don't know why they act the way they do when it comes to emotionally charged things.

 

For the sake of the kids and for your own sense of well being, be as nice as you can. Say a prayer for her that she can deal with all of this and find happiness too. Have the kids buy her some gifts and make some calls home too. Maybe even ask their dad to see if there is anything that would make her feel more comfortable while they are away. I would be a mess if my kids traveled without me like that, just because I am a worry wart.

 

Fortunatly I am happily married & don't have to deal with things like this, but as a child of divorce I can relate.

Best wishes for a great time.

[poobears]

I hope you have a fantastic time. I agree with letting them call home, picking up a gift etc. Also whole heartedly with making sure they know no matter what that is their Mother and need to show her respect if they couldn't/wouldn't do that they would not be going. Been there, done that.

[nrdsb4]

Sounds like a bad case of rank jealousy to me, but I am pleased that this thread turned into some good news! I hope you all have fun and her two kids come back with not even a single fridge magnet for their mother!

 

Disagree totally with that. The kids will always remember, and be grateful for, a Dad and stepmom that speak respectfully of their mother and encourage them to have a good relationship with her no matter what is going on between the ex-spouses. Anything less can backfire on them in the end, especially if the stepmother bad mouths the Mom. ALWAYS take the high road.

[bplazo]

Sounds like a bad case of rank jealousy to me, but I am pleased that this thread turned into some good news! I hope you all have fun and her two kids come back with not even a single fridge magnet for their mother!

 

That is so wrong.

[bplazo]

Congratulations! And your planning on getting married right before, that is great. It might explaine a lot about the mothers behavior.

 

Jealous maybe, but maybe just hurt & confused. Divorce sucks plain and simple. It is hard on everyone and sometimes people don't know why they act the way they do when it comes to emotionally charged things.

 

For the sake of the kids and for your own sense of well being, be as nice as you can. Say a prayer for her that she can deal with all of this and find happiness too. Have the kids buy her some gifts and make some calls home too. Maybe even ask their dad to see if there is anything that would make her feel more comfortable while they are away. I would be a mess if my kids traveled without me like that, just because I am a worry wart.

 

Fortunatly I am happily married & don't have to deal with things like this, but as a child of divorce I can relate.

Best wishes for a great time.

 

Peggy, what a great post. I hope that in time the mother and step-mother can get along and maybe even be friends. I am sure this situation is difficult on the mother because she sounds like she is still a little bit bitter.

 

Your children will do better if they feel like thay they have people who love them and you can never have to much family!