What Would Ms. Manners Say?

[mamaofami]

There is always a fruit appetizer on the menu and sometimes I order that for dessert. I've also asked for, and gotten fresh fruit.

I think we each have to do what works best for us, but there are alternatives to leaving after the main course every night.

[2ptu/000]

On longer cruises, I get fruit for dessert.

[peaches from georgia]

Leaving early once or twice is one thing; every night is something else. I love fruit w/ or w/out a little cheese for dessert and it is a great alternative to something rich.

[CtheW0rld]

Leaving early once or twice is one thing; every night is something else. I love fruit w/ or w/out a little cheese for dessert and it is a great alternative to something rich.

 

why? i'm interested in your logic (or lack thereof).

[pris993]

We always leave after our main course and a cup of coffee without dessert. We are at a table for 2, so no problem at all.

 

The desserts are all sugar and fats, neither our desirable in our diet.

[serendipity1499]

Believe me everyone at the table thought this woman rude and her DH was embarrassed. The 'diet therapy' is not meant to be mean. It's true. Food should not be able to control one's life and if it does there is something you can do about it. Plus there are choices on the dessert menu that are sugar-free' date=' fruit, and cheese. Me thinks maybe there are other reasons that poster wants to leave when she is through.[/quote']

 

Wow, Talk about being judgemental! :(

IMO, those at your table who discussed this lady appear to me to be very rude!

BTW, the OP is a Gentleman, named Dennis, not a she!

:rolleyes:

[serendipity1499]

We always choose late fixed dining and enjoy the camaraderie of the same table mates each night. I would have absolutely no problem with one of them saying at the beginning of the trip that they want everyone to know that each night they will probably leave a bit early as they find the desserts very tempting and for their own preservation will leave before the temptation gets the best of them.

 

That way I would not question their leaving early as being an affront to our company, but a perfectly understandable way to avoid overeating on your cruise. In fact even if it weren't explained, I wouldn't be affronted by someone leaving early. I have done it on occasion - needing to use the washroom desperately, being in pain from a disability I struggle with, or even because I find the conversation at the table uncomfortable (one cruise we had a couple with very strong opinions).

 

You are on vacation and can do what you want when you want. As long as you are polite, I see no problem with it. I respect you for recognizing that if you stay the temptation can be overpowering and for choosing to be proactive. I wish I had your strength! I quite like many of the HAL desserts and don't always succeed in just saying no.

 

Enjoy the Prinsendam, and may you enjoy smooth seas - and great table mates. :)

 

 

What a nice post! I agree with you 100% & admire your attitude!

Cheers.....:)Betty

[bplazo]

I would not think that it would be rude if our tablemate wanted to leave before dessert. If I wanted to leave the table after I was done I would. It my vacation after all!

[serendipity1499]

Wow, Talk about being judgemental! :(

 

IMO, those at your table who discussed this lady appear to me to be very rude!

 

BTW, the OP is a Gentleman, named Dennis, not a she!

:rolleyes:

 

Whoops, Just realized, spelled "Judgmental" wrong & now the "Spelling Police" will take me to task or talk about me...:o

Oh well, can't win them all..!:rolleyes:

Cheers....:)Betty

P.S. Ruth et al, If you read this, finally was able to download Spell check on this site..Thanks for all your suggestions..

[mamaofami]

Betty, please tell me how you downloaded that. I've tried and can't. Thanks.

[bulgargirl]

wow. maybe it was you they were avoiding.

 

Lol. That cracked me up.

[jcrandle]

Miss Manners says that the crassest thing you can do is criticize someone else's manners. On the other hand, she does that for a living. Go figure.

[serendipity1499]

Betty, please tell me how you downloaded that. I've tried and can't. Thanks.

 

Mama...Had a Power supply problem..Tech put in a new one & wiped out all my cookies, so logged in & started over again..Took two weeks to figure it out..It was so easy to download the first time on Cruise Critic but confusing to me this time..:confused:

Really don't understand & remember what it said in the spell check window, but kept hitting the spell checker on Cruise Critic (black ckeck mark in upper right corner with abc above it)..

Four things always came up to download, & did not know which one to download..Was trying to download the wrong one & it kept rejecting..:(:(

Finally after trying several times I chose the very first one which was on the screen & was amazed that it downloaded...:D Wish I could remember exactly what it said & means..:confused:

Just keep trying & hopefully it will download.. If my Granddaughters were here, they would have had it downloaded in 5 minutes..LOL

Good luck...

Cheers...:)Betty

[fann1sh]

OP, I hope you find on your cruise what I did: dinner companions so fun and riveting I was happy to stay and chat, despite the fact I didn't want (or order) dessert.

 

Of course, I usually had a glass of wine to finish....:eek:

 

If you're not that lucky, I'm sure you'll find a polite way to take your leave.

[AFuncruiser]

We always choose late fixed dining and enjoy the camaraderie of the same table mates each night. I would have absolutely no problem with one of them saying at the beginning of the trip that they want everyone to know that each night they will probably leave a bit early as they find the desserts very tempting and for their own preservation will leave before the temptation gets the best of them.

 

That way I would not question their leaving early as being an affront to our company, but a perfectly understandable way to avoid overeating on your cruise. In fact even if it weren't explained, I wouldn't be affronted by someone leaving early. I have done it on occasion - needing to use the washroom desperately, being in pain from a disability I struggle with, or even because I find the conversation at the table uncomfortable (one cruise we had a couple with very strong opinions).

 

You are on vacation and can do what you want when you want. As long as you are polite, I see no problem with it. I respect you for recognizing that if you stay the temptation can be overpowering and for choosing to be proactive. I wish I had your strength! I quite like many of the HAL desserts and don't always succeed in just saying no.

 

Enjoy the Prinsendam, and may you enjoy smooth seas - and great table mates. :)

 

How nice..Thank you very much..I am very excited about the Prinsendam cruise...

 

Dennis

[mamaofami]

Thanks, Betty. I'll try myself and if I can't do it, I have the grandkids coming for Mother's Day. LOL !

[Sue from Canada]

To watch my weight and not be tempted by desserts I excuse myself from the dinner table after the main course.

What would Ms Manners say?

 

 

A few years ago my 70ish mum and I were on a 10 day Mediterranean cruise. Our tablemates the first night included two 30ish gay men (I have nothing against gay people so don't even go there) and a newly married couple. We lost the married couple for the rest of the cruise as they decided to join a table of other newlyweds. Around the third dinner our remaining two tablemates, whose company we did rather enjoy, decided they wanted all their courses delivered back-to-back as two hours was just too long to eat. After two days of indigestion we had to tell the waiter that mum and I like a "time out" between courses and we didn't mind if our tablemates are eating their dessert while we're still eating our salad. On this cruise you also had the same table for breakfast! Now, I'm not a morning person. Oh, did I mention that one of the men was a hyperactive, non-stop talking nurse who you'd think was on some locked up med? Starting to get the picture? Anyway, on sea days when mum and I wanted to eat in the MDR, we'd sneak in, see if they were there and if not we'd enjoy a peaceful breakfast. On a funnier note, later in the cruise I was scheduled to go on a 10 hour tour to Pompeii and Capri. As I went into the showroom to get my sticker to an assigned bus I heard "Sue, Sue." Lo and behold, there were my two tablemates and one ran over to delightfully advise me that they got me a ticket on the same bus as theirs:eek: Through the heat, motion sickness (not me), all three of us did have a fun day. But I think I had more fun as I keep ordering these frozen lemon slushies in my limited Italian. After about six my new found friend told me that the only reason I was having so much fun was because they contain lemon liquor. Enough said. Sorry this is so long.

[mahassiddasairy]

Just my two cents: If we were your tablemates at a table for six or more, I wouldn't mind, since there would still be at least one other couple to talk to after you left. If we were at a table for four, I wouldn't mind, because then my husband and I could enjoy some time at each meal talking alone. I'd feel a lot more awkward eating dessert in front of someone who was obviously dying to eat one too, than I would with someone who simply explained that he was trying to avoid sweets, and left before they were served.

[RMLincoln]

Honesty is best, I think. A simple statement of your desires and intentions is respectful. You paid for your cruise vacation so make it what you want it to be for you. You're not there to entertain others.

[fayruz]

why not just ask for some fresh fruit and enjoy the company, while others gain weight?

[carlmm]

...

You are on vacation and can do what you want when you want. ...

 

So here we are again.

As if there would be just you and nobody else.

 

Dinner with a group of people is not just the opportunity to feed yourself but a social situation. There is interaction between people. People are affected by each other.

To make a rule out of leaving early every night shows clearly that you do not care for the company of your table mates. (In general, execeptions might be constructed.)

 

OP Dennis, I would hope you find interesting and friendly table mates you enjoy spending some time together.

 

Ms.Manners? Common politeness would suggest to start and finish a meal together (not just on cruiseships ...)

[Valentino]

Hi Dennis, my idea would be to get to know your table mates and see how you get on with them.

 

I can think of nothing worse than sitting there watching people eat puds while I wasn't as I have the breaking strain of a mars bar when it comes to puddings.

 

You might find you're actually enjoying the company of the other people and want to hang around. As noted above I actually didn't gain any weight on my last cruise even with three meals inside me because one, I was doing a lot of walking around and two, the meals are perfectly portioned so unless you're eating outwith the normal meal times you shouldn't put on too much weight.

 

You could try counting to ten when the waiter asks what you want for pud and hope that by the time you've finished counting the orders will all have been taken or you could do what I do and say "stuff it, I'm on holiday - what the heck - go on then fill my plate with bread and butter pudding and don't spare the ice-cream!"

 

I think you should just let your company and enjoyment of the day dictate what you do on the day and at meal times. Remember, you're here for a good time not a long time ;)

[photomikey]

When I'm not actually eating dinner with Ms Manners, I try not to worry too much about what she'd think. Turns out she's been dead for some time now.

 

Were it me trying to avoid dessert, I'd order coffee - "no dessert, I'm stuffed". If it were difficult for me to watch others eating dessert, I'd suddenly find my shoes uncomfortable, and retire to my cabin to change them.

[Davidson Duo]

When I'm not actually eating dinner with Ms Manners, I try not to worry too much about what she'd think. Turns out she's been dead for some time now.

 

:) What a great statement. Thank you for putting a very lighthearted face to this subject.

 

I have found that since Ms. Manners wrote the book, so many things in how we live our lives have changed and evolved to more accurately reflect current life.

 

I personally don't mind what choice you make - you won't insult me whether you stay or leave. I would feel more insulted if I found out that my expectation that you have to stay to entertain me at the expense of your comfort caused you unnecessary angst.

 

I hope you enjoy your trip. And don't worry too much about your table mates. We all think differently and as this thread shows, you can't please all of the people all of the time, so why not choose to please the person you spend the most time with. And that would be ..... yourself. Enjoy! :)

[babyher]

When I'm not actually eating dinner with Ms Manners, I try not to worry too much about what she'd think. Turns out she's been dead for some time now.

 

Were it me trying to avoid dessert, I'd order coffee - "no dessert, I'm stuffed". If it were difficult for me to watch others eating dessert, I'd suddenly find my shoes uncomfortable, and retire to my cabin to change them.

 

 

*LOL* thanks for the bit of levity. :)

 

 

I don't know if it was Miss Manners, but quite a few years ago one of those etiqutte authors commited suicide by jumping off the balcony of her apartment in NYC.

 

One of the late night comedy shows commented . "What if she had landed on someone walking by at the time? Isn't it bad manners to just drop in on someone without calling first , or at least bringing a hostess gift?" *LOL*