Roaming children... Arrh!

[RRLLAL]

I am probably the overprotective type also but our kids are 12/13 and will be on their 4th cruise, but we don't just let them "go". They are good kids, mature and trusting but it's everyone else I don't trust. So we allow them to sign out but only if we know where they are going and check in with us. There is no just taking off for no good reason and we'll see you later.

[ronandannette]

Sparky8 - how sweet! Give your mom a hug, you won't have her "looking out" for you forever.

 

Our boy has never been apart from us outside of the kid's clubs. On our upcoming Destiny cruise he'll turn 14 the day we board and we'll have his 13 y.o. cousin along as well. We've decided to take a little time to read the "vibe" of the environment and their dynamic together before we set any rules. We will, however, err way on the side of caution. I don't believe for a minute that kids need to do everything they want to do. I'm also not a huge fan of the idea of our boys roaming around with "new friends" that we don't know from Adam. We're generally pretty careful about who influences him and agree completely with Tao Diva.

 

Happy Sails,

 

Annette

[Crusin6]

OK you only made me more nervous. MY son is a seasoned cruiser. Its not him I'm worried about. It's the possible wierdos lurking. He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know.... Make him a man etc. Cut the cord.....but,I'd rather be an annoying mother than have another ARUBA situation. What are the odds??????????Am I the minority??:o

you are right to be worried about those lurking. While they are not known to be in abundance on cruise ship....there have been articles about "questionable" backgrounds of crew members...and I would venture to guess some pax as well.

 

As a parent to 4 well adjusted daughters who are being encouraged to learn and grow and experience......I can tell you now...that they do not and will not roam a ship alone....nor do they want to....why? Because they would not roam around alone in a new city/town/village of 3000 on land....nor would they on water!!

 

 

And you are not overprotective and forget what others say about that issue.....you have a responsibility to protect your kids and if you are in control of it......so, if you want to set strict limits that is certainly your perogative.....if you want them to be on their own...that is too.

 

 

IMHO...a cruise ship is no place to test the waters

[pkrchkr]

I have a 14 yo, and a 19 yo as well as a 23 yo.. I don't think for the youngest one thee is any safe age. I want to know were he is 24/7 and if he is not with me he is Camp and is not to go out on his own period...The 19 yo old is not immune to a swift kick in the butt if he miss behaves either

[dec2007w3boys]

He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know....

I guess it depends on the kid - my 13 year old baby sits his brother and for others - so I give him freedom on the cruise. He has had this the last couple of cruises.

 

We have to watch our little guy who thinks he needs the same freedom and at age 6, I don't agree! :confused:

[TheSailinSOB]

I am over protective I think too. My kids were 7 and 8 first Cruise. They were always with me unless signed into Camp. I would let them go get a drink only if they were in my site otherwise I would go with them. In the MDR there was a bathroom right outside and I let my daughter go by herself. The ship is way too big and easy for a little one to get lost going to the cabin alone. I would say 12-13 maybe I will lighten up. Until then, it's an adult or camp.

[bankerbabe]

I also think a lot of it depends on how well your child can take care of themselves. My son, for example, is a pretty smart cookie and seems to be pretty immune to peer pressure (so far). He's been at sleepovers where the kids were doing stupid things (knocking on neighbors doors in the middle of the night) and he flatly told them that they were stupid and that he wanted no part of it. He stayed in the house. So I don't worry about him AS MUCH being influenced by other kids' bad behavior.

 

He is also rather tough, despite his scrawny appearance he is a football player that lifts weights three times a week and does conditioning exercises regularly. It would take a pretty tough character to drag him off somewhere without attracting attention. He's not afraid to bite, kick, scratch, hit, kick, and scream. He's also smart enough not to willingly go somewhere that he shouldn't be - because we've had a lot of very serious talks about that.

 

So, it's not just maturity that you should consider, but how well the kid can handle himself/herself.

 

I'm not ready to let my daughter do anything more than Point A to Point B because she's not nearly as tough as her brother. And even with Point to Point, she will be with a group or not go at all.

[Warm Breezes]

By themselves, 12; With a partner 9 or 10.

 

I agree. At 12 I allowed them to make a quick trip to get food/drink or to run back to the room for something forgotten by themselves (during daylight hours and traveling through public places only). Anything else is the buddy system. I purposely get rooms as close to the elevators/stairs as possible to avoid them having to walk down floors with just rooms. If you are close to the elevators/stairways they can walk through the floors with the public areas to get that stairway/elevator rather than walk through floors with all staterooms.

[elcuchio24]

OK you only made me more nervous. MY son is a seasoned cruiser. Its not him I'm worried about. It's the possible wierdos lurking. He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know.... Make him a man etc. Cut the cord.....but,I'd rather be an annoying mother than have another ARUBA situation. What are the odds??????????Am I the minority??:o

 

Are you kidding me? I was trying to steal liquor and pick up women by that age.....maybe time to let him be his own guy.

[MsTabbyKats]

OK you only made me more nervous. MY son is a seasoned cruiser. Its not him I'm worried about. It's the possible wierdos lurking. He does stay home alone for an hour or two,. He'll be 13 and 1/2 at time of sailing. He's been on several criuises. But he is innocent. I know.... Make him a man etc. Cut the cord.....but,I'd rather be an annoying mother than have another ARUBA situation. What are the odds??????????Am I the minority??:o

 

I'm in the minority, with you. Natalie Halloway's parents thought she was mature enough to go on her class trip...and look what happened.

 

You don't need to make him a man at his age...time will make him a man.

 

Just to add...my husband freaks out if he doesn't know where I am. He thinks someone is going to "snatch me and drag me off"....and I'm 61.

[elcuchio24]

I'm in the minority, with you. Natalie Halloway's parents thought she was mature enough to go on her class trip...and look what happened.

 

You don't need to make him a man at his age...time will make him a man.

 

Just to add...my husband freaks out if he doesn't know where I am. He thinks someone is going to "snatch me and drag me off"....and I'm 61.

 

Time will make him a man. It'll just take a much LONGER time if you treat him like an infant until he grows a full beard. Don't complain when he's still living in your basement when he's 26.

[Warm Breezes]

I also think a lot of it depends on how well your child can take care of themselves. My son, for example, is a pretty smart cookie and seems to be pretty immune to peer pressure (so far). He's been at sleepovers where the kids were doing stupid things (knocking on neighbors doors in the middle of the night) and he flatly told them that they were stupid and that he wanted no part of it. He stayed in the house. So I don't worry about him AS MUCH being influenced by other kids' bad behavior.

 

He is also rather tough, despite his scrawny appearance he is a football player that lifts weights three times a week and does conditioning exercises regularly. It would take a pretty tough character to drag him off somewhere without attracting attention. He's not afraid to bite, kick, scratch, hit, kick, and scream. He's also smart enough not to willingly go somewhere that he shouldn't be - because we've had a lot of very serious talks about that.

 

So, it's not just maturity that you should consider, but how well the kid can handle himself/herself.

 

I'm not ready to let my daughter do anything more than Point A to Point B because she's not nearly as tough as her brother. And even with Point to Point, she will be with a group or not go at all.

 

I agree with this too. My DS(16) is now 6'7 1/2" tall and has been over 6' since he was 13. DD(13) is 5' 10". They are both athletic and strong. DD can even kick her DB in the face (this was done on accident...or so I've been told;)). Actually she is a dancer and is very flexible and muscular. DS is a soccer and basketball player. While her brother has been more advanced on the maturity side, she is not that far behind him. I'm sure I gave him more freedom up to 13 than I have given her, but I'm thinking this cruise her strings may be loosening up a bit more. We'll take it day by day and see how it goes.

[Crusin6]

I'm in the minority, with you. Natalie Halloway's parents thought she was mature enough to go on her class trip...and look what happened.

 

You don't need to make him a man at his age...time will make him a man.

 

Just to add...my husband freaks out if he doesn't know where I am. He thinks someone is going to "snatch me and drag me off"....and I'm 61.

tabbykats,

 

you ( and I) should not be in the minority!!!! Being vigilant is being smart and watching out exactly where you are giving kids room to grow does not mean that one is an overprotective parent!! Letting a kid roam alone on a ship...just to prove that that parent has "cut the umbilical cord" is just plain foolish!!!

 

I believe that those who post that kids need to grow and experience life...and actually think that a cruise ship is the place to do it....are only kidding themselves...but they know that so no need to really say that here anyway!!:D

 

It really is a shame that being a vigilant parent actually needs to be defended.:confused::mad:

[cruisin1982]

I wouldn't let them go back to the cabin alone there are many chances being grab and bad thigs could happen. I think 12 would be ok to get something to eat or ice cream if you were out on the deck. People think it's safe because you are on the ship but I have read about sexual attacks by both passengers and ship employees. I wouldn't want that on my plate and ruin my childs having fun. Be safe and have fun

 

Mike

[bankerbabe]

I would also recommend strong rules.

 

Part of our rules are that you MUST stick to where there are other people - no wandering down long corridors of cabins to get where you are going, stick to public areas.

 

Buy him/her a soda card, so that if they put their drink down or let it get out of their sight they can get a new one rather than risk the one that they had. They are never too young to talk about drink safety.

[globe9]

I was 11 on my first cruise back in 1986. It was on an RCCL ship and back then, while there were 2 camp counselors, there was no "camp" to speak of. I am the middle child of 5 however. I roamed the ship with my siblings(usually my sister(9) and brother(10). The oldest 2 boys were 15 and 18, so didn't hang with them much. Also made many friends in my age group(11, 12, 13) and we all hung out together on sea days and roamed the ship together. I'm sure we were a little obnoxious, but we didn't get into any trouble or anything. I remember those cruises VERY fondly.

 

We always had dinner with my parents(HAD to as there were no other options besides the MDR back then for dinner) and usually saw the show with the parents too. After that, we hung out with friends. No adults ever approached us that made us feel uncomfortable and we always felt safe.

 

I don't know if the world was a safer place back in 1986(I doubt it), but I do think that kids nowadays are MUCH more self-aware and mature than many of the kids I grew up with. I wouldn't hesitate to let my children, if I had any, to go do things on their own from about the age of 11 or 12, as long as they were together or with a buddy.

 

I do think many parents are TOO protective and then wonder why junior is still living with them at 30, but that's their choice to make, not mine.

[StillPooh]

 

I do think many parents are TOO protective and then wonder why junior is still living with them at 30, but that's their choice to make, not mine.

:D

 

At 11, I was flying across the country alone between my divorced parents. Mom would drive to where she could put me on direct flights until I was about 14, at which time I had enough experience to be comfortable changing planes. I knew what to be careful about and things to watch for.

 

There are a lot more predators and pedophiles in your hometown than on your cruise ship.

[QVickiB]

I would say "only with a walkie talkie".

My daughter is 7, and we just let her go on a ride alone at Universal Studios, but only because she has a cheap pre-paid phone we use on trips, with only my and my husband's cell numbers speed-dialed. "If anything happens in line, press & hold 3". And we had a situation that she and her friend had to get out of line, and she called me immediately, and it worked out fine. Without the phone, NO WAY. So on a ship, make it a walkie talkie...

[elcuchio24]

:D

 

At 11, I was flying across the country alone between my divorced parents. Mom would drive to where she could put me on direct flights until I was about 14, at which time I had enough experience to be comfortable changing planes. I knew what to be careful about and things to watch for.

 

There are a lot more predators and pedophiles in your hometown than on your cruise ship.

 

I went to Guatemala on a humanitarian aid mission when I was 14, stayed an extra week in country alone afterwards. People are just so overprotective these days, no wonder 40% of college kids come back to the roost after they graduate. I guess it's the new normal.

[JackieH]

Good question, I think it depends on the child. My oldest just turned 16,and I trust him to roam around without adult supervision. As a matter of fact, we are leaving on the Liberty on Saturday and I dont feel I have to be tied to him. I also have an 11 yr old daughter, WHOM I would not let roam around without an adult. She is a very booksmart(straight A)child,but doesnt normally pay attention to what goes on around her.Then my youngest is 6, she would LOVE to roam by herself, as she thinks she is much older then her years..;)

[Perfect Stranger]

People are just so overprotective these days, no wonder 40% of college kids come back to the roost after they graduate. I guess it's the new normal.

 

What's wrong with that? Better to save money to buy their own home than throw it away on rent.

[MizzCard]

As a mother of two grown sons, I do believe that by age 13.5 he should be able to move about the ship by himself. Just think, in 2.5 years he'll be old enough to drive a car....then you can really worry!!

[MizzCard]

What's wrong with that? Better to save money to buy their own home than throw it away on rent.

You're not serious?

[elcuchio24]

What's wrong with that? Better to save money to buy their own home than throw it away on rent.

 

Not sure if your being coy or serious. If you're being serious, I really don't know what to tell you. If your kid can't make it on their own and be independent as adults, something got fouled up along the way....

[StillPooh]

What's wrong with that? Better to save money to buy their own home than throw it away on rent.

A cautionary tale for you: my brother moved back into our mom's house when he got out of the navy, at age 29.

 

He's 56 now.

 

He's still there. :eek: