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I need help!!!

dreamystars82487

By dreamystars82487,
in Carnival Cruise Lines

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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I am in serious need of some advice or any ideas! Any are welcome!

 

In August my family and I are going on a cruise, but I want my boyfriend to come too. My parents have said its ok with them, but his parents are super conservative Christians. We know that right now his parents would say no, so I need any advice you can give me on making them see that my boyfriend and I wouldn't do anything inappropriate and that it'd be a great opportunity for him to go with us. I know this seems stupid, but I'm desperate for him to go with me so we can have the time of our lives. Please help! Thank you in advance!!!

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StacyandTim

StacyandTim

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The only advice I can come up with would be for your parents to contact his parents. Maybe your parents can give them some sense of security to know that they will keep a watchful eye on you two.

 

Other than that, I have no idea how you can convince his parents to let him go. :confused:

 

Sorry I couldn't be more help...

 

Stacy

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interalia

interalia

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I have children that age...too! I am a seasoned mom. You wont like my advise sorry.....Family vacations are for families! You are so young! Wait until you are 21....then its a different story. Im sure you wont even be with this guy when you are 21...but maybe someone else!

He should be with his parents on his 18th Birthday. I wouldnt let my 18 year old go....and I wouldnt miss his 18th birthday for anything in the whole wide world! :)

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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Stacy-

 

What you said is good. My boyfriend and I decided our best bet would be to have my parents talk to his parents face to face and reassure them, and its good to hear from an adult outside of the situation that you were thinking along the same lines. I'm hoping though that others may be able to think of certain things my parents could say to really reassure his parents.

 

Thank you!

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bjboothman

bjboothman

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As the mom of an 18 y.o. dd and 22 y.o. ds, I would DEFINITELY want your parents do the inviting to his parents. If it were my son, I'd want to know who was paying, what activities are planned, and that he would be adequately chaperoned. Not so much the morals thing, as to know that he wouldn't be allowed to hang out on the ship drinking all night in somebody's cabin. Not to burst your bubble, but August is 6 months away and I'd have to be pretty sure of a relationship before I, as a parent, offered to pay someone's kids way on a cruise. But if your parents feel confident, obviously that's their decision. You all need to sit together and figure out who pays for what - i.e. shore excursions, airfare, pre- and post-hotel, etc. It is incredibly gracious for your aunt and uncle to offer to share a cabin with your boyfriend.

 

As far as his parents worrying about you two getting in trouble, I'd say the 2,000 pairs of eyes on the cruise ship make it one of the safer places to go.

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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Interalia-

 

some of the things you said are true and I appreciate them. The only thing is, because I'm an only child, I'm shy, and on our previous cruise my parents allowed me to take a friend that way if I didn't make friends right away on the cruise, I would still be entertained(I was 14, at that age where you need something to do all the time). I suppose this is why they have continued to let me take friends with me on "family" trips. Besides, my boyfriend is practically part of the family and my parents and him get along like they're family, if they didn't, I wouldn't have wanted him to come. Thank you for your advice because what you said about it being his birthday is also very true.

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Kathy555

Kathy555

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My daughter is 24 and we don't bring along her boyfriend on a cruise. They have been together for 3 years. If they were engaged it would be a different story. A cruise is also very expensive to bring along a friend. I do let her bring him on our summer vacation when we rent one large house. It doesn't cost anything extra to have him along, except food. If your parents say it is okay for him to come along then I suggest you let the parents discuss the plans together. It is a big responsibility to bring along a non-family member.

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halos

halos

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I recall being 18 like it was yesterday.....I understand you completely. I had a boyfriend (who is now my husband) and wanted to be with him all the time, including vacation time as well...fortunately, our parents communicated and it was OK.

I don't know if your parents speaking to his will make them OK with it...I guess it depends on just how conservative they are...but if they aren't OK with it, you have to just suck it up and respect their wishes. For your sake and your BF's, I hope they allow him to go with you...but if they don't, don't fret too much..you'll both be 'of age' before you know it... :D so hang in there!!

In the mean time, I have my fingers crossed for you!! Good luck!!! ;)

(as you can tell....I'm NOT conservative ;) )

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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bj-

thank you. Yes, the chaperoning thing is extremly important. I think my parents have agreed to this because before my boyfriend and I were dating, we were extremely close friends for 2 years and acted almost as though we were dating for about 6 months before we started dating. We've been dating now for 6 months and even when we have problems we work through them together. I have considered this though that the relationship could end before the cruise and wondered about it. I believe though that we could both still go on the cruise as just friends. We've discussed paying, my boyfriend will actually be paying for more then half the cruise fare, and my parents are paying for the rest. We are driving, so travel costs aren't really added for him because we would be driving anyway. I like your advice, it was extremely helpful.

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mysticalblues

mysticalblues

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I think the two sets of parents need to talk and then your bf needs to talk with his parents. Has be been a good kid or has he been grounded a lot or caught up in bad situations? He can say to his parents, if he has been a relatively good kid, that he is older now and that they need to trust him and that he will stay out of trouble. And remind them how they brought him up right.

 

My parents always let me bring a friend on vacation. Mind you, my parents did not pay for the friend.

 

As far at him turning 18 on the cruise, I don't see what the big deal is with that.

 

Halo, I'm with you!

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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Kathy- You're right, bringing along a non-family member is a huge responsibility. But because my mom has already gone through bringing a non family member with us before, I guess shes not so opposed to the idea this time. Also, if I couldn't bring my boyfriend, I'd be bringing a different friend, so this isn't really a question of whether it'll be just me and my family or me and a friend. Also, what you said about money is true, but thats why my boyfriend, or any friend, has to pay for their cruise fare. Thank you for replying!

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dreamystars82487

dreamystars82487

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Mystical -

Thanks, what you said is something I've been wondering about. My boyfriend and I have been caught up in a couple bad situations, the last one occuring about 5 months ago. Since then we've decided that those things aren't worth risking our relationship for and getting in trouble for, and we haven't been getting in trouble at all. Actually his parents are letting him do more things with me now then before. Do you think his parents will be able to put these things behind them if there hasn't been any more trouble and we're not talking until April? I guess the big deal about him turning 18 would really be for his mom. He's the baby of the family and her other sons aren't really around as much and she gets really teary eyed when she thinks about my boyfriend going to college. Mind you, she homeschooled her boys so shes spent a lot of quality time with her boys. Thanks for your advice!

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Kathy555

Kathy555

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You sound like a very sensible girl. I hope things work out for you and your boyfriend. Are you close with his parents? I met my husband when I was 15 and he was 16, so I know how you feel. I can't have my daughter bring her boyfriend because we would need an extra room. The most likely thing to do would be to put my 15 year old in with him which then increases our cost. I like to keep my family in one room together so I can make sure the 15 year olds curfew is being followed. He loves to stay up late on a cruise. We get 2 rooms as it is because my oldest son is newly married and I wouldn't ask them to let her boyfriend stay with them. He is happy with our summer trip and we get to have time with our daughter. Let us know how things turn out.:D

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CruiseVirginfromBrooklyn

CruiseVirginfromBrooklyn

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I agree with the posters who have already told you to have the parents sit down together with you and your boyfriend and your boyfriends parents. Have your parents explain the sleeping arrangements and then address any doubts or objections your boyfriend's parents might have to him traveling with you. Also, I know Carnival has a parental waiver that must be signed - in fact - my TA was kind enough to send a pdf to me, now I am not sure it will open but you can give it a shot: MINOR PASSENGER GUIDELINES or copy and paste the link: https://www.bookccl.com/pdf/StudentMinorForms.pdf

 

Hopefully it will open so you can print it out and have it handy when you have this discussion with your boyfriend's parents. I'm sure it will aid you when they see that Carnival has strict rules regarding minors and, they might be a little more willing to agree to this situation if they see it in writing.

 

Good luck and let us know the results!

 

Vinnie from NY

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Chief Cruiser

Chief Cruiser

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I have children that age...too! I am a seasoned mom. You wont like my advise sorry.....Family vacations are for families! You are so young! Wait until you are 21....then its a different story. Im sure you wont even be with this guy when you are 21...but maybe someone else!

He should be with his parents on his 18th Birthday. I wouldnt let my 18 year old go....and I wouldnt miss his 18th birthday for anything in the whole wide world! :)

 

First of all, I don't know of a 17 year old young man who would want to spend his 18th birthday with his parents. Whether you miss his 18th birthday, in most states, would be his choice, not yours. I speak from my own experience, my 3 brother's experience, and a host of friends experience as well. But, to each their own. Just expressing my own humble opinion. Don't mean to hurt you mom!!!!

 

Secondly, there is nothing that you can do on the ship or on a shore excursion that you couldn't do where you live. As a father of 2 girls and also considered a conservative Christian, it seems to me you have a safe enough plan to provide separate sleeping quarters and semi-supervised activities both on and off the ship. That is nothing more than his own parents could provide. Like others, I agree that your parents personally offering to provide the supervision and give their assurances to his parents that you both will be taken care of is all a parent could ask. Who pays for what is a mute point if they don't agree to let him go.

 

This almost sounds like the same situation I dealt with when my son graduated high school. I was going to give him a cruise for his graduation and he wanted to take his girlfriend of 2 years. I laid out a plan similar to yours and met with her parents and they were well receptive to the idea..... and they were going to pay for her cruise for her graduation gift. However, by the time it got down to the final payment day, they both had changed their minds. Not only about the cruise, but about each other. So, the cruise was cancelled. The note another poster wrote concerning where your relationship will be in six months is valid!

 

Seems to me it really comes down to a trust issue and I'm wondering who it is his parents don't trust. I'm not one for blindingly throwing two young people in a tempting situation, but let's be real about this. Opportunity knocks in more than one location and cruise ships don't have a monopoly on that door!

 

If his parents balk at that arrangement, then not only are they conservative Christians as you noted, they are also closed-minded and are headed for trouble when he is of age. But, again, to each their own. I wish you well.

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