My Beautiful Dark Twisted Review - Conquest 12.26.10 - New Year's Eve

[RAMSJUNKIE887]

Great review! Im gonna use your approach of the bar tab review to write one when I get off the ship.

[RAMSJUNKIE887]

If you dont mind me asking how much was your bar tab at the end of the cruise. God knows when I saw ours on our last cruise they had to take me off the boat in an ambulance.

[xerenthar]

1/2/11 - debarkation

 

we were in debarkation group #29 (of 33?) since our flight was at 6:45pm (or maybe 7:45.) we watched the frenzied people try and get off for their flights as we lounged on 9. the comedian earlier in the week advised us to watch the guys who would realize they need to eat 18 danishes to get their money's worth. the feeding frenzy was a bit shameful. by this point i was pretty over the whole feeding frenzy thing. we leave, wait in gigantic lines for customs, our officer doesn't even open our bag, we catch the shuttle to lighthouse, get our car, and....we have 6ish hours in houston.

 

1/2/11 - texas

 

a tablemate at the chef's table recommended the "goode company" bbq place. we drive over there and see a sea (see what i did there? and there?) of people who had clearly come from church. and then there's us, ordering BBQ and drinking beer. it was pretty delicious though. i wholeheartedly approve.

 

we still have 5-ish hours. i google things such as "what to do in houston" and "stuff to do in texas that isn't nasa or the galleria." we strike gold in the "national museum of funeral history." it's pretty interesting and not as morbid as thought. there are hearses spanning from the present to colonial times, a big feature on presidential funerals and the vehicles used, some creepy early 1700s-1800s stuff, and a large section on the funerals of popes. the pictures really tell this one better than i do.

 

back to google for the remaining 3.5 hours brings me to the "beer can house" - a house covered entirely in beer cans and parts of beer cans. an eccentric woman tells us the history, and charges us $2 to visit. this place is insane, and i suspect the creator was as well. it was pretty cool though.

 

i find a design within reach nearby to spend a half hour in.

 

1/2/11 - airport

 

enterprise was no problem at all. i forgot to mention this in the beginning, so i'll mention it here. there are discount codes for car rental all over the place, with the general understanding that you aren't ID'd when you use the company's code. i find one that's for the "state of michigan", and given that i'm a university of michigan law school student, i think i should use it. when i arrive at enterprise at like 12AM or whenever it was a week ago, they tell me how much the bill is - including young driver fees (bane of existence.) i mention that the michigan site said there wasn't a young driver fee (actually true.) she says that's not notated on the promotional code. i mention hertz eliminating theirs etc etc, and it's waived. she then goes "and we only need a credit card to hold for damages etc because this is getting billed to the state of michigan." i freeze. i ponder risk vs. reward. it's unlikely that the state will notice one little charge, but if i get caught, it's probably felony fraud charges. i say that i need to pay, since it's personal. i do so.

 

HOU is a cluster****. there's people EVERYWHERE. there are lost children. there's none of the neat little "if you have boarding passes, jump to the front of the line" lines that MDW has. our flight is delayed to 7:05PM. it takes 40 minutes to get through the baggage line, then we're over at security. it's a long line. a really long line. we stand near the "no longer than 30 minutes" sign. it's around 6:15. everyone around me is FREAKING OUT, g/f included. by the time it's 6:30, we're at the 'no longer than 15 minutes' sign. i'm no longer worried. everyone else is. around 6:40, a TSA person asks if any of us have elite status with WN. seeing none, she pulled some randoms, ourselves included, through the VIP line. it's 6:45PM, our flight still isn't boarding, and now i'm bored. flight is uneventful. i return home. i no longer know who i am and i feel like the ghost of a total stranger.

 

PICTURES

 

reagan's hearse

early casket salesman's sample book

[xerenthar]

a really creepy doll….

with a REALLY creepy explanation. this was right next to the hair jewelry.

early embalming table

model of pope JP2's coffin

[xerenthar]

model of JP2's funeral

model of JP2's tomb

foreign hearse

japanese hearse

[xerenthar]

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[b]onward, to the beer can house[/b]
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[xerenthar]

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[xerenthar]

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hahahah…. perfect. almost as stereotypically texan as the overhead sign on I-45 directing us either to the gun show or to the football game.
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[xerenthar]

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this was hanging in our trunk. a helpful and uplifting diagram if you've been shut in a trunk by someone.

[xerenthar]

[quote name='RAMSJUNKIE887']If you dont mind me asking how much was your bar tab at the end of the cruise. God knows when I saw ours on our last cruise they had to take me off the boat in an ambulance.[/QUOTE]

i was a bit surprised at how much the S&S was, given that we ordered virtually NO hard liquor or beer. i ordered one mixed drink at dinner, one mimosa, and one shiner blonde (just because i didn't know shiner made anything but shiner bock), and she ordered one mimosa. obviously 3-4 bottles of wine were on there, but there was NOT a lot of drinking their mixed drinks due to smuggling. the drinks of the day and everything add up REAL quick. it was in between 1,000 and 2,000, closer to 2 than 1, but not by much. if we'd have been drinking their booze the whole time, it'd have been well above 3 IMO.

[xerenthar]

i'll have a "takeaways" and "final impressions" section.

[Kel040]

:D Really enjoyed your review, I know and can appreciate how much time goes into these things, what with picture uploading, editing reviewing and so on, SO thanks for taking the time to share with everyone !! CHEERS ! :D

[buddy123]

[SIZE=3]I have no patience and get bored very quickly... this is totally my type of review. [/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Best cruise review I have read... possibly ever. I hope you go on more cruises!!! Cheers[/SIZE]
[SIZE=3][/SIZE]
[SIZE=3]Thanks for your time[/SIZE]

[xerenthar]

i'd thank you from the bottom of my heart but your fly avatar is really annoying ;)

it was fun to write it and relive it :D

[xerenthar]

and now i want to go back