One of my Seniors just quit school!!!

[jilllofalltrades]

We're taking 3 seniors on a cruise spring break to celebrate their graduation. My son, his friend and my neice. I just got word that my neice quit high school yesterday. Of course now my SIL and BIL refuse to let her go. My father has agreed to go in her place but now we have some major last minute room shifting and scrambling to do. What could I possibly say to my neice to change her mind? She claims to be an "adult" not that she's 18. She could'nt be further from the truth.

[Bookbug53]

We're taking 3 seniors on a cruise spring break to celebrate their graduation. My son, his friend and my neice. I just got word that my neice quit high school yesterday. Of course now my SIL and BIL refuse to let her go. My father has agreed to go in her place but now we have some major last minute room shifting and scrambling to do. What could I possibly say to my neice to change her mind? She claims to be an "adult" not that she's 18. She could'nt be further from the truth.

 

 

I think the more you push the more she will tune you out as most KIDS do. However a true adult would not have quit with a goal so close at hand. I do hope everyone realizes that now is the time to treat her like an adult. No more allowances or cash handouts. No more paying bills for her such as cell, clothing, car expenses or anything that applies. Just make her live in the real world as a high school drop out and do it fast. She needs a quick reality check. SIL and BIL are absolutely right!

[asb2164]

1.You do not need to say a word it is not your kid.

2.They may take offense if you do.

3.The kid does not deserve a vacation if she can't finish school.

[truchattycathy]

I don't think you can say anything to her that would make a difference. Most teenagers do not think rationally. Does the cruise mean enough for her to stay in school? Can you ask her to stay until after the cruise at least. Maybe she will change her mind if she stays in school.

 

One of my daughters decided to quit school two months before she graduated. I explained to her that I would be escorting her to every class everyday, because she had made it this far and worked too hard to quit. She now says how much she appreciates that. At the time she could not see how important finishing high school would be. I hope your niece changes her mind. Have her parents talked to the high school counselor?

 

Good luck, this is such a tough thing to deal with.

[golfadj]

Do the substitution and have a great cruise.

 

Not your kid.

[AWCHIEF]

Where are her parents in all this? She needs professional guidance and quickly while there is still hope.

[PaulMedik]

............What could I possibly say to my neice to change her mind? She claims to be an "adult" not that she's 18. She could'nt be further from the truth.

 

 

jillofalltrades,

 

All three teens will learn there are consequences to their actions if you simply enjoy the cruise without her. If rewards come in without effort or sacrifice, then they are more like entitlements and less like a reward. Perhaps the best thing you could do for her is to tell her that you also agree that she should not go (even though you really don't agree).

[Thirsty Cruiser]

1.You do not need to say a word it is not your kid.

2.They may take offense if you do.

3.The kid does not deserve a vacation if she can't finish school.

Here, here!

This will be her first lesson in consequences ;)

[golfadj]

And kudos to your BIL and SIL for being responsible parents.

[asb2164]

I misread your post sorry OP I read that as you wanted to change the parents mind about letting her go on the cruise.

[Carolin]

I really feel for you. *sigh* my niece decided to do the same thing. Now she's a 22 year old divorced woman with two kids and no education. Can't even support herself so she had to give up the kids. It's heart breaking. Nothing I said made any difference because she thought she was an adult.

[xplor97]

I'd take your Father, who probably has done a lot for you over the course of your life, over your niece who thinks dropping out of high school is an adult decision.

[elcuchio24]

Awesome! Good for her. Maybe she can still go on the ship and try to get a job swabing decks or something, unless she plans on marrying rich, that's about as good a job as a non HS grad can look forward to these days.....

[cruiserNC]

I would use the same tactic the show "Intervention" uses. The family gets together let her know how much you love her but will not support her decision financially.

[elcuchio24]

I really feel for you. *sigh* my niece decided to do the same thing. Now she's a 22 year old divorced woman with two kids and no education. Can't even support herself so she had to give up the kids. It's heart breaking. Nothing I said made any difference because she thought she was an adult.

 

God. Thats terrible. It's such a slippery slope, like a snowball rolling down hill, once you make a bad choice and get going you keep picking up speed and baggage as you go, tough to stop it once it's rolling.

[deanswife1990]

I am extremely close to my niece and if she decided to quit school, she would definitely hear a thing or two from me. :D Voice your concerns to her, she is family and I hope she knows that you only want the best for her. But no cruise for her!! Take your dad.

[cortneyward]

Awesome! Good for her. Maybe she can still go on the ship and try to get a job swabing decks or something, unless she plans on marrying rich, that's about as good a job as a non HS grad can look forward to these days.....

 

Not true! A girl in my class decided to quit high school during our senior year, spring break. She's a stripper now! :eek:

 

In all seriousness, I have a very close family, so I can see why you as an aunt would be involved. I do hope you all have luck convincing her to finish with the end so close

[Dr. Jack Daniels]

What could I possibly say to my neice to change her mind? She claims to be an "adult" not that she's 18. She could'nt be further from the truth.

 

Tell her good luck living in poverty without a high school education.

[DEBnGAB]

Awesome! Good for her. Maybe she can still go on the ship and try to get a job swabing decks or something, unless she plans on marrying rich, that's about as good a job as a non HS grad can look forward to these days.....

 

Even some menial jobs at CCL require a HS diploma.

 

"would you like fries with that?" will be a new part of her vocabulary!

[lorijeannj]

5 lousy months (maybe 4) to get her high school dimploma.

Wow, someone needs to step in and tell her to get that degree.

Perhaps there is a reason she is not going back to school.

She will regret it.

She is a minor, she needs adult guidance not ignorance.

[Thirsty Cruiser]

5 lousy months (maybe 4) to get her high school dimploma.

Wow, someone needs to step in and tell her to get that degree.

Perhaps there is a reason she is not going back to school.

She will regret it.

She is a minor, she needs adult guidance not ignorance.

She's 18 and can legally do as she wants.

[hoop4321]

i know how you feel. My niece did the same thing. There is NOTHING you could say to her. She will not listen. My poor brother and SIL....they have agonized over this. She is the first one that i can think of to not at least have this most basic of achievement. Most everyone else has college. I did say to her that everyone will have things that you say is not so important right now....but when you have kids, those things are so important. You want to give your children the best.....future, things, house...etc. She looked at me and said ''whatever." I laughed. Poor girl....if she only knew.

[crusinpsychRN]

For a brief time I worked at a jail. 97% of inmates do not have a high school diploma.

 

She might be 18 and legally considered an adult for some things but the judgment area of the brain is not formed completely until age 25.

 

Can she test out?

[Crusing Nut]

I think the more you push the more she will tune you out as most KIDS do. However a true adult would not have quit with a goal so close at hand. I do hope everyone realizes that now is the time to treat her like an adult. No more allowances or cash handouts. No more paying bills for her such as cell, clothing, car expenses or anything that applies. Just make her live in the real world as a high school drop out and do it fast. She needs a quick reality check. SIL and BIL are absolutely right!

 

 

Great post!

[CarefreeCruising]

I'm sure that "lecturing" her will probably not get through. I wonder if you found someone who had to get their GED later in life if she'd be willing to talk to them. Hearing from them the consequences of not finishing their high school education and how much work it is to get a GED may help open her eyes to reality. I know plenty of people who have earned their GED's and believe me - they worked hard for those degrees!