How would you feel about a teen attending a meet&greet?

[VikkiGarcia]

Would anyone feel uncomfortable with a 19 year old attending? My son has recenly opened up with his father and me and asked if we were ok with him attending a Friends of Dorothy meeting next cruise. I would like some honest feedback as to wether this is a good idea or should he wait until he is a few years older?

Thanks

Vikki

[EagleRockers]

If your son is a mature 19 year old, and only you can decide that, I don't see any reason why he shouldn't attend.

[CrusingJoe]

I say he should go. After all he's 19 and knows what he wants.

[inco]

That is a decision he should make I think. If he wants to meet others then it's a safe place to be seen and meet. You will guide him and as long as your relationship is open and honest I'm sure he will give you feedback as to what happens.

[AFuncruiser]

If the teen doesn't mind socalizing with a group of guys who could be their grandfather..go for it!

Dennis

Jacksonville, Fl

442 days at sea

38 cruises

[Anthony&David]

I assume meet-and-greets can vary widely, but for the ones we have gone to on our two NCL cruises, they have included a range of people (one night this included a large group traveling with children younger than 19) and have been relatively low key (i.e., casual chatting).

 

The pressence of a 19 year old would not make me uncomfortable.

[RMS Olympic]

As travel is a great form of education....meeting people from other walks of life and life experiences may be a great thing for him. A meet and great is a safe environment, and I dont see any danger in attending. Learning there are all types of people at there can be a great gift to someone young and thinking there is only one way to be, to act, to think.

The only concern I would have is alcohol. Some cruise lines do not enforce the drinking age, and this could pose a potential problem. Not that LGBT passengers pose a threat, his own inhibitions mixed with alcohol could cause family friction and ruin the cruise.

If talking with your son after the meet and greet is possible...it will only reinforce family unity.

But only you know your son. I only wish I could have discussed things at that age with my folks.......For me it was at the age of 38 and my parents walked away.......permanently.

[VikkiGarcia]

My son is attending a smaller college where he feels he is the "only gay on campus". We know this not to be true but I think meeting more and more people will only help expand his confidence. Because of his responsibilites on campus (He is a resident assisitant for a freshman dorm) I think vacation time is his chance to open up just a bit. He does not drink and may be seen as very nerdy. I would just like him to see that there is a big world out there. And once out of school there is a big community that he can feel comfortable with.

[RMS Olympic]

I think a meet and greet would be a good thing.

Being a nerd is not what it once was...god bless the dawning of computers for the nerds out there (pocket protectors and slide rules.)

Oh for those out there...a slide rule was pre hand held calculators.:D:D:D

I attended a Baptist University in Texas (at that time a relatively small school)....and I did not know any other gay people. Oh the hours I spent full of shame, hiding.......things have changed so much since then on the college scene.

As long as your son has the support of his family....and ever strengthening self esteem.....he will develop as he should.

Have a great cruise!

[MiamiSpartan]

I think it would be good for him....and you if he was OK with it....

[CL-JW]

Hi Vikki,

 

Speaking for Jack and myself we wouldn't be at all uncomfortable. In fact, having the advantage of having met you and your family, we know Wes is quite mature.

 

Hope you are all doing well!!

[Trystan27]

I think it would be great. The last meet and greet I attended (quite a few years ago) allowed me to interact with people, both older and younger, than I would in my every day life. My husband and I are traveling in April with our children who are 10 and 12. If my kids wanted to attend a meet and greet with us instead of hanging out in the kids area (not likely) I would bring them. Traveling with my children gives them the opportunity to meet people with different perspectives and points of view. Besides, my children are quite charming - most of the time.

[MeHeartCruising]

In my experience, the dynamics of the FODs have varied greatly. It all depends on the personalities on board that particular cruise. But first, I can't imagine it would be harmful or damaging to him. His ability to interact with strangers will probably determine the situation. There may be other outgoing types there who draw him into conversation or there may not. I've been to some of these where people somewhat remain in small groups and some where everyone mingles around. I urge him to go and to speak up and interact with everyone he can. I also think you should feel comfortable going with him too, if he's comfortable with that. You could always head out after meeting a couple people. Fun mom and dads are always warmly received in my opinion.

[greg_atlanta]

Vikki: have you picked a cruise yet? On RC or Celebrity the FOD parties are not officially listed in the daily program and he may have a hard time finding people. HAL, NCL, & Princess seem to have better organized FOD parties.

 

I came out at 19 and socialized with other gay men of different ages.

[COMBOY]

Would anyone feel uncomfortable with a 19 year old attending? My son has recenly opened up with his father and me and asked if we were ok with him attending a Friends of Dorothy meeting next cruise. I would like some honest feedback as to wether this is a good idea or should he wait until he is a few years older?

Thanks

Vikki

 

He's certainly welcome to attend and I can't see any reason why he can't. At 19 he's an adult and it's time for him to make an adult decisions and if want to go I can't see why there would be any problem. He obvious can't drink alcohol, but he probably wants to mix and mingle and meet some people that he might have something in common with. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it. Let him go and he'll determine if it worth it or not. The worst thing that can happen is it might end up of it's just older couples, just poorly attended or has nothing in common with the attendees, but who know. Maybe he'll find a nice buddy or a few friends to hang with on the cruise. I think what's important to know is that people are just people (It doesn't not matter whether they are gay, straight, bi, transsexual, etc.). Depending upon the cruise line they will usually have a staff member to host the event. Thanks for posting your question. I think most of us can understand your concerns.

[VikkiGarcia]

Greg:

We have a couple cruises lined up (RCI ,NCL) and sail a number of times a year. We have even had the pleasure of sailing with some who have posted to this thread.

(Hi Craig and Jack!!)

I have walked by many FOD (or other ships version) get togethers. I just have never seen any teens (or young adults) and did not want to set our son up for rejection the first time he sticks his chin out a bit.

Saying out loud that he is gay has been a huge step for him. It has actually been easier on his father and me. Recently he asked how long I knew. I said, "I'm your mother.....I've always known."

[COMBOY]

Unfortunately rejection is a part of life. Even as adult we are subjected to rejection and you know it doesn't get any easier. :( If you don't take risk in life you don't grow as in individual, but I do think it's pretty normal as a parent to want to protect your kids from rejection. I do agree that you won't find many if any 19 years at a FOD party; however, I would like to think that all people would (or at least should) feel welcome. I was 19 years on a RCCL ship (1980) and I met a 38 year guy on the ship to hang with. I was so scared that my parents would find out. Man, I thought 38 was old, but I really didn't care. It was just excited to meet someone like me. It all depends upon the maturity of your son. I don't see any reason you can't attend with him if he wants you too. FOD parties are NOT exclusive events and are open to everyone. Personally, I think if a 19 years show up at an FOD party I'd be pretty impressed. Kid are coming out at an early age now. I think that's pretty normal thing now.

[JRVcruiser]

The more the merrier....We strongly recommend your son to attend.....

Be proud.

 

Jason & Richard

UK

[greg_atlanta]

Vikki: if the cruiseline offers open seating, try to sign up for that. Then your son can have dinner with new friends instead of eating with mom & dad every night. Or all three of you could have dinner with new friends! (Mom & Dad have things to learn during the coming out process too)

 

I've found that the FOD parties are often just a quick meeting spot to find tablemates for dinner.

[ONT-CA]

While we agree that he should be given the freedom to attend the FOD gathering, the risk of exposure to such a wide variety of gays and in particular to more senior members of our community might not be well received by him. The social make-up of those who cruise, and in particular personal partnerships such as ours of 37 years can be viewed as positive but when I was 19 years of age I did not nor want to relate to those of very senior age. So while it can be educational, it also can also be very disconcerting. He should be prepared for that.

[pke-atlanta]

Vikki, first kudos to you and your husband for being so supportive of your son. I struggled myself at an early age with being gay - and had my parents not been supportive and loving, it would have been devastating to me. You are doing a wonderful thing that will ensure a close relationship with him for a lifetime. Great parenting!

 

In terms of the FoD meetings, I agree with the consensus that he should try one out. In my experience they really are for socializing and meeting other folks on board, not really for scoping out a potential date or boyfriend. So the idea of "rejection" shouldn't be much of a concern. And since they usually happen every evening, he can show up for one, see if he enjoys the people that are there, and decide if he wants to attend another.

 

Personally, at that age and in this situation, I would probably be more uncomfortable with my parents there (supportive as they are). Unless he is very shy, he's probably more likely to introduce himself and chat with others if you aren't there. But obviously you know your son better and can have that conversation with him to see what he thinks.

 

Again, I'm very impressed with you and your husband. Your son is very lucky!

[ILUVMTL]

If your son wishes to attend then of course he should! An FOD "meeting" on every cruise I have been on is about as safe an environment as one could find. Sometimes one meets interesting people and sometimes not. And, by the way, your son is very fortunate to have such caring and supportive parents!

[kennetro]

Hi Vikki,

 

As a 57 year old gay man, I am really humbled at what a wonderful parent you seem to be. You have asked all the right questions & the love you feel for your son is a beautiful thing to witness.

 

My partner & I have been discussing your question, & we concur with many others, that your son will be in a very safe environment and socialization with others "just like him" is so important at his age. I know he'll walk away from that meeting with even more positive thoughts about himself & his future! (I can remember my own feelings of depression at 21, thinking I must be the ONLY gay person in the world ...& I certainly wouldn't wish that for anyone!)

 

Your son is both lucky & blessed!

 

Hope to meet you on a cruise very soon!!

 

Ken & Ray

[crzyfish83]

Vikki: have you picked a cruise yet? On RC or Celebrity the FOD parties are not officially listed in the daily program and he may have a hard time finding people. HAL, NCL, & Princess seem to have better organized FOD parties.

 

I came out at 19 and socialized with other gay men of different ages.

 

Do you know if they even have FOD parties on Carnival? I am sailing in May for the first time and I would like to locate people to hang with during these seven days.

[CrusingJoe]

Do you know if they even have FOD parties on Carnival? I am sailing in May for the first time and I would like to locate people to hang with during these seven days.

 

Yes, some ships do and spme don't. It depends on the Cruise Director.