peteukmcr Posted October 22, 2011 #1601 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hope this gives you a smile - it did me! RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: Dear Mrs. *****, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares.Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. Just what the doctor ordered Marilyn, thanks. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteukmcr Posted October 22, 2011 #1602 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Going to be a Gorgeous weekend here in So Cal...both beach and desert....we are heading to the desert to finalize the packing...Have to be done by Sunday night...since we will not see the Clothes or suitcases again until next Thursday night.....then sleeping really fast and at Palm Springs International at 5:30 am next friday. Boy, these 18 months have flown by....Can not wait. Still have 5 more work days....but will survive...Work is only getting about 75 percent out of me now...Hate to see what next Wednesday and Thursday going to bring. Hope everyone has a Great day ...It's the weekend!!! Let's have a Drink!!! Talk to everyone later Mike Have a good weekend and hope all the packing gets sorted. This time next week, I'll have trailed Tam all round the shops in Barcelona & then I'll let him treat me to a cocktail or two;) Still got work until Thurs and a night out on Saturday - So Sunday will have to be the day I get everything ready on my holiday rail, ready to pack on Wed night. Mike - I'd love to see more photos of your desert house and surrounding area - it looks amazing. Mhairi I think Tam will deserve the cocktails after all that shopping!:D Am almost completely packed. Will fold Jerry's clothes Wednesday night. If mine get creased it is okay because my body will stretch those wrinkles right out.:eek: Got the pedi and the hair cut today. Just nails and color left to do next week And then away we go! Joyce Good to hear progress on the packing. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kugel Posted October 22, 2011 #1603 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Very funny. Here it is so possible! Joyce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteukmcr Posted October 22, 2011 #1604 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Nice quiet weekend in store for me. Will do a bit of housework. We'll be away from home for 6 weeks so I want to leave the place in reasonable condition but I am not one to want it immaculate while we are away. This is will be our first long trip that the house is empty, having lost both our cats this year. Normally the cat feeder came in daily so we'll have to leave a key with our neighbour and get him to check things over now and again. So, a bit of laundry and ironing in preparation. Am laying things out in the spare room but won't actually pack till next Friday afternoon. Ooohh, I'll be excited this time next week! Corinne Always seems to be laundry to do here, but that's probably because I space it our during the week. No packing here until Thurs. Afternoon, doing final wash & Ironing. We are pretty well packed now except for the final items. If I miss anyone Monday, I want to take this time to say how much I have enjoyed being your RC Keeper and to have a safe journey to Barcelona. Will see you in BCN or on board. BON VOYAGE TO ALL. Gay Gay, wanted to say thanks for all your efforts and safe and pleasant journey to BCN. Hi all, busy Friday. Less than 2 hours and away from work I go for 3 weeks!!:D:D In laws are here to assist with DD in our absence, getting them oriented. We did a lite cleaning before they got here, will be a disaster before we leave, so who cares:o. Hi beej, you can come back next week and wish us a bon voyage. We aren't leaving until early Tuesday morning. Not sure how much a chance I'll be able to get on CC over the weekend, so Bon Voyage and safe travels to all who are leaving today, tomorrow and Sunday. Probably finish the packing by Sunday, don't want to have to do much Monday but enjoy a leisurely wait for Tuesday. I keep talking about Tuesday, not excited or anything:confused: Hope to check in later, but if not, have a great last weekend before we cruise. Well done on finishing work for 3 weeks, now you can relax. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
091971Cruiser Posted October 22, 2011 #1605 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Well the packing list is done. Just a few more things to get together and I will be ready to pack. Luckily, because I fly too much, I have space for three 70# bags......but won't take all that space. Last year on Indy I packed way too much and I promised then that I would do better this time. Is anyone here going on the TA in April on the Liberty? Also what does one have to do to get in the NC, seems as if all the fun folks are there and I am not. *****! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamon Posted October 22, 2011 #1606 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Love the Target shopping list of misdemeanors. John and I laughed our socks off. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Okiguy Posted October 22, 2011 #1607 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Loved the Target list of misdemeanors!! My DW retired two years before I did and had all that time to arrange my life after I retired, so I can appreciate the boredom of shopping. Thanks to the internet we now have point-click-buy as an alternative! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Cruizers Posted October 22, 2011 #1608 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Your welcome Peter, now the packing is done, need to figure out how to handle all the luggage. LOL John has two I have 3, something isn't right with this picture.:D. Don't tell John, but he gets to drag the Garmet suitcase and my 28" and I will attach my carry on to the 25 and drag his carry on. there ya go. :) Marilyn the Retired Husband was hilarious. Safe Travels to everyone. Gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hillcruiser74 Posted October 22, 2011 #1609 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hope this gives you a smile - it did me! RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: Dear Mrs. *****, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares.Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. I could not stop laughing, I have a few friends who work at Target, I have to see if I can copy and paste this into an email and send it along! Thank you Marilyn for the hardest laugh I have had in a while. Also, finally got serious last night and started making packing piles, weeee, come on Thursday! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mazzza Posted October 22, 2011 #1610 Share Posted October 22, 2011 I could not stop laughing, I have a few friends who work at Target, I have to see if I can copy and paste this into an email and send it along! Thank you Marilyn for the hardest laugh I have had in a while. Also, finally got serious last night and started making packing piles, weeee, come on Thursday! You're welcome! I have read this several times and it still makes me laugh out loud! :D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tahoemc Posted October 22, 2011 #1611 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Happy Saturday to all and enjoy the last one at home! Next week we are in BCN and boarding Liberty - YAHHOOOOO. Three more sleeps before we board the planes to BCN. Marilyn, most excellent humour! ...Again, note the spelling:p. Thanks for the laugh. Peter, thanks, although still quite a bit of "work" to get ready to leave Tuesday. But this is better work than the paying job - will take it any day of the week:D Joyce, hope the arm is improving and your feeling better and getting some sleep. Corinne, the mochas are especially tasty today knowing that we are just around the corner from heading across the pond. We're counting on you to turn off the lights and unplug the Tassimo machine next week before you leave. Enjoy the rest of your day/evening....will try to check back later. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
samben Posted October 22, 2011 #1612 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Hi All, Just want to wish everyone SAFE TRAVELS and see you all on board if not at Hotel Universal Barcelona...... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kylea_s Posted October 22, 2011 #1613 Share Posted October 22, 2011 Spent the day with mani, pedi and then putting 90 percent of thos piles in the guest room into the luggae. 5 percent got put back and 5 percent is still looking for a home. We still havent weighed them but they arent overstuffed so Im thinking they will be fine. As this pre cruise roll call comes to an end, Id like to thank all the folks who have answered all of my questions. Youve made this experience so much easier for us. I so look forward to meeting you on board. If we pass you and I dont say hi cause I dont recognize you and you do us, please say hi first. Bon Voyage to those leaving on Sunday. Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten2729 Posted October 23, 2011 #1614 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Hope this gives you a smile - it did me! RETIRED HUSBAND After I retired, my wife insisted that I accompany her on her trips to Target. Unfortunately, like most men, I found shopping boring and preferred to get in and get out. Equally unfortunate, my wife is like most women - she loves to browse. Yesterday my dear wife received the following letter from the local Target: Dear Mrs. *****, Over the past six months, your husband has caused quite a commotion in our store. We cannot tolerate this behavior and have been forced to ban both of you from the store. Our complaints against your husband are listed below and are documented by our video surveillance cameras: 1. June 15: He took 24 boxes of condoms and randomly put them in other people's carts when they weren't looking. 2. July 2: Set all the alarm clocks in House wares to go off at 5-minute intervals. 3. July 7: He made a trail of tomato juice on the floor leading to the women's restroom. 4. July 19: Walked up to an employee and told her in an official voice,'Code 3 in Housewares.Get on it right away'. This caused the employee to leave her assigned station and receive a reprimand from her Supervisor that in turn resulted with a union grievance, causing management to lose time and costing the company money. We don't have a Code 3. 5. August 4: Went to the Service Desk and tried to put a bag of M&Ms on layaway. 6. August 14: Moved a 'CAUTION - WET FLOOR' sign to a carpeted area. 7. August 15: Set up a tent in the camping department and told the children shoppers he'd invite them in if they would bring pillows and blankets from the bedding department to which twenty children obliged. 8. August 23: When a clerk asked if they could help him he began crying and screamed, 'Why can't you people just leave me alone?' EMTs were called. 9. September 4: Looked right into the security camera and used it as a mirror while he picked his nose. 10. September 10: While handling guns in the hunting department, he asked the clerk where the antidepressants were. 11. October 3: Darted around the store suspiciously while loudly humming the 'Mission Impossible' theme. 12. October 6: In the auto department, he practiced his 'Madonna look' using different sizes of funnels. 13. October 18: Hid in a clothing rack and when people browsed through, yelled 'PICK ME! PICK ME!' 14. October 22: When an announcement came over the loud speaker, he assumed a fetal position and screamed 'OH NO! IT'S THOSE VOICES AGAIN!' 15. Took a box of condoms to the checkout clerk and asked where is the fitting room? And last, but not least: 16. October 23: Went into a fitting room, shut the door, waited awhile, and then yelled very loudly, 'Hey! There's no toilet paper in here.' One of the clerks passed out. thank you marilyn - Gave me a good laugh. Peter - Tam will no doubt have a guinness or two while he's waiting on me coming out of the shops. We were out tonight at a friends party - not too sure if we've got many friends left - they seemed to be upset at me asking 'is it you that's on a cruise next Saturday' They'd answer no and I had to tell them it must be me!!! Finalising my lists tomorrow and doing some ironing - Life in the fast lane!! Corinne - Think you're in charge of turning the lights off - We'll be waiting for you, won't leave without you. George - missed you going over the Friarton Bridge. Mhairi Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kugel Posted October 23, 2011 #1615 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Well safe travels to all my board buddies. Corrine glad you will be locking up. We will be waiting for you onboard. Skybar at 2pm unless it is raining and then we would head up to Viking Crown, but IT WILL NOT RAIN! Joyce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scotsman Posted October 23, 2011 #1616 Share Posted October 23, 2011 George - missed you going over the Friarton Bridge. Mhairi Mhairi I let the train take the strain :D passed through Perth Station will give you a wave this morning, on the 8:43 out of Tay Bridge Station to Glasgow going to the BBC food show this morning to see SEXY James Martin then the cruise show next door late afternoon before heading home to Ayr. Marilyn Printed off your story and took it to the hotel where we were having dinner last night. we were all in stitches and the waiter asked if we would allow the other diners to read it, the whole place enjoyed it :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamon Posted October 23, 2011 #1617 Share Posted October 23, 2011 (edited) Well, for many, today is the last day to organise packing and then go to work for another few days before travelling. I have sorted everything and now have a huge pile of ironing to do. As this pre cruise roll call comes to an end, Id like to thank all the folks who have answered all of my questions. Youve made this experience so much easier for us. I so look forward to meeting you on board. If we pass you and I dont say hi cause I dont recognize you and you do us, please say hi first. Bon Voyage to those leaving on Sunday. Donna Donna, I echo these sentiments. I am sure we will all struggle a bit to recognise everyone. I have studied the photos but there are so many it is confusing, especially given that we all have 2 names, often quite unrelated. Be assured everyone I answer to the name Cinnamon while onboard a ship. ;) [quote name=kitten2729;31067848 Corinne - Think you're in charge of turning the lights off - We'll be waiting for you' date=' won't leave without you. Mhairi[/quote] Very pleased to hear it Mhairi! :) MhairiI let the train take the strain :D passed through Perth Station will give you a wave this morning, on the 8:43 out of Tay Bridge Station to Glasgow going to the BBC food show this morning to see SEXY James Martin then the cruise show next door late afternoon before heading home to Ayr. :D Busy day George, hope you enjoy both exhibitions and that James Martin meets your expectations. Corinne PS, not quite sure why the second quote feature didn't work but never mind. Edited October 23, 2011 by cinnamon Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteukmcr Posted October 23, 2011 #1618 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Spent the day with mani, pedi and then putting 90 percent of thos piles in the guest room into the luggae. 5 percent got put back and 5 percent is still looking for a home. We still havent weighed them but they arent overstuffed so Im thinking they will be fine.As this pre cruise roll call comes to an end, Id like to thank all the folks who have answered all of my questions. Youve made this experience so much easier for us. I so look forward to meeting you on board. If we pass you and I dont say hi cause I dont recognize you and you do us, please say hi first. Bon Voyage to those leaving on Sunday. Donna Looking forward to saying hello! See you soon. Well, for many, today is the last day to organise packing and then go to work for another few days before travelling. I have sorted everything and now have a huge pile of ironing to do.Me too, ironing that is! Then again I've nothing better to do to pass the time until Fri :D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kugel Posted October 23, 2011 #1619 Share Posted October 23, 2011 About 144 hours Spain time till boarding. Joyce Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kitten2729 Posted October 23, 2011 #1620 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Looking forward to saying hello! See you soon. Me too, ironing that is! Then again I've nothing better to do to pass the time until Fri :D Just need to get motivated and start my ironing - should have got you to come up and do it. 5 sleeps to Barca 6 Sleeps to cruise.............. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kylea_s Posted October 23, 2011 #1621 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I got an email from the concierge this morning that included the dates for formal night. Thought Id share them since I think they are different from what we were able to find out several months ago when this subject came up. They are now scheduled for Oct 30, Nov. 5, and Nov. 9. One more sleep and we are off. Can you tell Im getting more excited? Im up at 7!!! Donna Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cinnamon Posted October 23, 2011 #1622 Share Posted October 23, 2011 That's great to know Donna, thanks. It is unusual to have the last one on the pre-penultimate night, not the penultimate. Presumably that is why they moved the Saturday Night Fever dates around. Corinne Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vegascruiser1 Posted October 23, 2011 #1623 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Thanks Donna for the formal night information. Only 2 more sleep nights for me. Almost all packed, just trying to get everything in 1 suitcase, plus I will have a carryon. Already at 41 lbs, and still haven't added the shoes and the bottles of hair products, lotions and etc.... Have a great Sunday everyone. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
peteukmcr Posted October 23, 2011 #1624 Share Posted October 23, 2011 I got an email from the concierge this morning that included the dates for formal night. Thought Id share them since I think they are different from what we were able to find out several months ago when this subject came up. They are now scheduled for Oct 30, Nov. 5, and Nov. 9. One more sleep and we are off. Can you tell Im getting more excited? Im up at 7!!! Donna Donna, many thanks for these dates, very much appreciated. We can now go and make reservations for the speciality restaurants on non formal nights. Bon Voyage for tomorrow and have a safe and pleasant journey. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Desert Cruizers Posted October 23, 2011 #1625 Share Posted October 23, 2011 Good Morning, received an email from the Universal this morning welcoming us to their Hotel. That was really nice, as I have never had a Hotel do this before. We couldn't get out of here without 2 carryons and 3 pieces of luggage. Us ladies need our stuff.:D Of course this includes all the goodies for all my LOST Friends as well. :). John & I leave Tuesday AM, wishing you all a safe journey and see you in Barcelona. Gay Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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