megmno Posted April 28, 2012 #1 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Not having enough hours in the day to read all of the um, "discussion" threads on CC, I would like to ask a few questions about an upcoming cruise. First of all, we don't have passports but don't want to spend the money on getting them. Can I cruise without them? I understand you just need a birth certificate, but I don't want to have to pay for those either. How about the little card the nurses put on my son's bassinet in the hospital? Can I use that instead? They drew a cute little heart on it because he was born on Valentines Day -- I think the Carnival port agent would be so charmed by it! Also, if we happen to miss the boat while in port, the embassy would of course put us up overnight while they rushed to get us replacements, right? After all, we're American Citizens!!! Now, I've also been wondering about whether to buy cruise insurance. What a rip off! My flight will be getting in at 1 p.m. so that gives us three hours to get to the port. That should be plenty of time. And if we miss it Carnival will be happy to fly us to the next port (although I suppose we might have to make a little fuss about it. After all, my nephew's best friend's cousin's brother in law is Gerry Cahill's golf caddie, so I have an "in" with the Carnival beards!) And if we need to be med evac'd from the ship the Coast Guard wouldn't mind coming down to Belize to get us. After all, I did donate ten bucks to the Obama campaign! I was thinking about whether to bring onboard a few libations of my own. If I pack a case of beer in my undies, a couple of quarts of vodka in my water bottles and a bottle of whiskey in my bra do you suppose the screeners would notice? I figured that if I also brought my allowed bottle of wine they wouldn't check me out too closely. Once onboard I would appreciate never having to smell cigarette smoke. If I smell it I will march myself right down to the Guest Services desk and demand a full refund for my cruise. I have the right to never smell smoke. After all, it's my vacation. My DH, on the other hand, insists on his right to smoke on our balcony 24/7, (with the light on all night). The neighbors can just go somewhere else if they don't like it. After all, it's his vacation. I also wanted to ask about a sensitive subject -- TP. Is it ok to bring my own TP -- or those new wet wipes? I don't really care if they clog up the plumbing "downstream" as long as it doesn't mess up my "sanctuary". We're bringing our youngest child who still is in diapers. I expect he'll love teabagging in the pool. He'll probably love eating with us in the steakhouse too. If he gets a little cranky, we can just let him cry it out. He ususally tires himself out after an hour or so. Our teenagers get a little rowdy at times, especially when they've been drinking, but it'll be a great vacation since they can stay out all night if they want. They are so glad that the dress code has been relaxed and they can wear their wife beaters and baseball caps to dinner every night. (Me, I plan on having a chain mail dress made, just like the one I saw here on CC a while ago. It was so hot!) And I was so glad to read about how to remove tips -- there's no way we should have to pay $11.50 pp/pd in tips when "those people" really don't need much to live on at home. So, did I miss anything? Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MichelleChell Posted April 28, 2012 #2 Share Posted April 28, 2012 LOL Thats greatness and just about sums up the crazy posts I shake my head at. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rpb718 Posted April 28, 2012 #3 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Well, at least you won't be hogging any chairs... Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
combatboots2jimmychoos Posted April 28, 2012 #4 Share Posted April 28, 2012 LOL thanks for the great laughs as I'm home bored on a friday night! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truchattycathy Posted April 28, 2012 #5 Share Posted April 28, 2012 OP, can I cruise with you? You sound like a lot of fun!!!! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cruisenanny Posted April 28, 2012 #6 Share Posted April 28, 2012 HAH!:p Don't you need 4 chairs by the pool, 4 in the shade, a table under cover in case it rains, and the big hammock in Serenity, just in case you want to nap away from all the noisy kids by the pool??:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DAllenTCY Posted April 28, 2012 #7 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Don't forget to put all of your meds, expensive jewelry, birth control pills, sleep apnea machine, and other critical need into a small black roll on bag without a name tag or cruise tag, and be sure and leave it on the luggage carousel for cruise staff to identify and deliver to your stateroom if you fly in. If you take a shuttle bus, be sure not to note the color, company name or driver's identity. This will help everyone find your missing bag......not! David Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
CRUISE4JANE Posted April 28, 2012 #8 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Are you for real? I don't think so. :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
truchattycathy Posted April 28, 2012 #9 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Sure is funny tho! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
simplelife Posted April 28, 2012 #10 Share Posted April 28, 2012 You didn't mention anything bout dress code and whether you'll be wearing pantyhose or not.:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Rare Banditswife Posted April 28, 2012 #11 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Tipping? why do we need to tip the crew? They get free room & board right? :rolleyes: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
vivavegas Posted April 28, 2012 #12 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Now that was funny! You bout' covered it all. Thanks for the laugh!:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishtaco Posted April 28, 2012 #13 Share Posted April 28, 2012 You forgot to mention that you are Gluten intolerant and one of your kids has a peanut allergy so will Carnival have gluten free food everywhere on demand even the buffet,and can you be sure Carnival will notify all other cruisers that peanuts are totally banned on this trip because even the sight of a peanut packet would ruin your cruise,oh yes your other child is allergic to seafood so I hope they dont serve any on board in case of cross contamination,your husband is a picky eater so can he have burger and frenchfries for breakfast in the MRD and steak and fries at high tea!:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
RobynHenry Posted April 28, 2012 #14 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Great post ! Love it :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Frank12 Posted April 28, 2012 #15 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Just please make sure that your drunk teenagers hang out in the stairwells and block passage to the rest of the pax. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
StingRaysfan Posted April 28, 2012 #16 Share Posted April 28, 2012 LOL.. you covered a lot of it... I laughed particularly hard at teabagging the baby in the pool. :) I do think the only real issue that comes up that you missed is chair hogs, other then that you did a GREAT job covering all the bases! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Cristallo Posted April 28, 2012 #17 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Maybe someone in your group should rent a scooter to run into everyone while toting a small dog saying it's your "service dog". Said service dog could even eat from your plate in the mdr. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
David-n-Rita Posted April 28, 2012 #18 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Don't forget that your CC roll call is the most important thing on the minds of the crew, and your meet and greet takes priority over all other activities on the ship. Since every roll call has a power couple in the lead than the CD gave a ship on the stick and called them on stage during their last cruise, out of 4000 cruisers on board, you are the couple that Carnival is waiting to personally welcome aboard with the flock of followers you have gathered. The Funtime schedule is being held up so they know when your meet and greet is in the piano bar, and the main lounge so that these venues can be closed to other cruisers not as important as your CC roll call group in the evening. The Captain is also awaiting your arrival so he can plan his routine around your CC roll call plans. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MsTabbyKats Posted April 28, 2012 #19 Share Posted April 28, 2012 I hope your servers know your name and have your drinks waiting for you at the table. Also...your stewards should address you by name. If not...take off your auto-tips. The fact that they put in all those hours working is pointless....if they don't give you the respect that you're entitled to. Hey...you probably paid $49/per person/per day...and you deserve to be treated like royalty! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
fishtaco Posted April 28, 2012 #20 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Dont forget to threaten Carnival with a cancellation and shift of your custom to another cruise line if John Herald is not making a special appearance as CD for your cruise. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
room010 Posted April 28, 2012 #21 Share Posted April 28, 2012 And if you are a Super Dooper VIP Diamond Encrusted Platinum cruiser (and have a badge and a tacky door sticker to prove it) remember you are entitled to embark ahead of everyone else along a silken red carpet strewn with rose petals and a fanfare. If these basic privileges aren't forthcoming then you deserve a full and immediate refund plus a free cruise with limitless OBC for yourself and the party of 20 you are permitted to bring with you. Also, if you go ashore and spend the day getting wasted in a bar the captain will be very happy to delay the ships departure indefinitely until you decide to return. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
elcuchio24 Posted April 28, 2012 #22 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Well played. You actually had me going with the kids bassonet card with the heart on it, hahaha.:) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
funinthesun1964 Posted April 28, 2012 #23 Share Posted April 28, 2012 If you can't tip, at least bring a souvenir from your home state.. the stewards like t-shirts, ball caps, key chains, and if you sing, they would love a CD that you made 'specially for them! :D:D:D:D:D Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
sharecruises Posted April 28, 2012 #24 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Oh yeah you missed an important point..... It is NOT nice to leave nuttin...so...yeah...remove those tips..but be sure to leave the hard workers something they really love and much prefer to cash >>> John Deere Keyring and other accessories >>> a CD of you or any family member singing karaoke and a coffee mug from your hometown....they love it, much better than the autotip >>> splurge and TIP with a box of girl scout cookies for a "taste of home" *(not sure if they have them in Phillipines/Indonesia/Belarus but hey you tried) ~~~~~~~~~~~How bout formal night?? I know your husband enjoys the ball caps and shorts...and your boys will look good with "pants on the ground"...but there is no reason YOU can't show off a bit I saw a stunning "chain metal" dress for formal night.....that would be really special :) Rock it !! Have a great cruise :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
hansolosmom Posted April 28, 2012 #25 Share Posted April 28, 2012 Well played. You actually had me going with the kids bassonet card with the heart on it, hahaha.:) Omg - me too! I was thinking this woman's off, until I got to the 2nd paragraph Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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