Having a Bad Day - Need Funny Cruise Stories for a Pick me Up!

[ComeSailWithME]

The funny paddle boat story reminded me of my own funny story involving a banana boat in Playa del Carmen.

 

We were in port at Cozumel and did a Carnival excursion of a booze cruise that took us to a beach in PDC for a few hours. The beach was really nice and there was hardly anyone there besides the other passengers from the booze cruise. During the 45 minute ride to PDC, there was a storm we passed through and the boat was a-rockin! I remember them putting up these tarps on the side of the boat to keep the water out and just tons of water flow on the sides, fast, like it was coming off a waterslide.

 

They kept the rumpunch flowing during this since they didn't want it to interfere with our good time and now about 80 minutes later, we arrive in PDC to a beauitful open sky. The water was still a bit rocky so one of the flags was up limiting some of the water sports. I was really determined to do SOMETHING though, so I somehow convinced my DH (then, just my BF) to get on the banana boat with me (he is VERY afraid of deep water!!)

 

Since the water had been bad right before we got there, there was really no one on the beach but the people from our boat ride.. so when we got on this banana boat, we were the only 2 on there. He advised us to sit in the middle and we became our ride. The water was quite choppy and he was making some crazy turns! Before we knew it we were holding on for dear life trying not to fall off the dang thing! To make matters worse, he made the ride about 10 minutes longer since no one else was waiting and here is Frank in the back of me flipping out!

 

We arrive back at the beach and he all but falls in the sand. My poor husband, he has shaky hands on a good day and he could hardly contain himself after this.. he was like a bowl of jelly. We went back on the boat after this and he was like 'get me a drink, stat.' He was shaking so horribly that he couldn't even hold the plastic cup! So here I am serving him drinks laughing my tail off :D

 

He vowed never to ever do anything like that ever, ever again and I still laugh hysterically every time I tell the story.

[Unknotted]

Our exciting, scary day in Puerto Vallarta, just last week:

 

We grabbed a taxi to take us to the "Malecon" which (for those who haven't been there) is a boardwalk along the coast. Artists make awesome sand art on the beach there. It's a little cobblestone road for pedestrians only, with a few little alleys coming into it, which is where our Taxi dropped us off. There are shops, bars, restaurants and a sidewalk on one side of the walkway, and the beach is on the other side, also with a sidewalk.

 

Soooo, we started walking along, and when we got to the first little side street/alley we noticed a bunch of cops on ATVs right in the intersection. I thought maybe there had been an accident because we could hear sirens in the background.

 

Then, all of a sudden we saw a car driving very fast and out of control on the malecon, where no cars should be. The rest happened really fast, and I sort of froze in fear. The car was headed right for us, honking and going up onto the sidewalk, people were jumping out of it's way. There was another smallish car and a police car with it's siren blaring behind the first car, but the first car was the scary one.

 

The first car dodged around the police road block and just before it was going to run into us it took a turn into the alley. It had been close enough that we could see 4 HUGE mean looking guys in it. I'm not kidding, they were close enough we could see them looking right at us. All I could do was stand there frozen in terror, sure they were going to run me down.

 

OK, so, they turned down the alley, and so did the police and the other car. Then we heard crashing sounds and what sounded like gun shots...and then the policemen in the road block started cheering and giving each other high fives. So I knew they had probably killed or caught the bad guys.

 

I took a deep breath and said to nobody in particular "Holy Cow, that scared the crap out of me, I feel like I'm having a heart attack." And then a guy in the crowd, said "OH NO! NO! I am SOOO sorry! Are you ok?? We are filming a movie and you walked up on it. It wasn't real, are you ok??"

 

I heard people laughing, so I guess I was the only one who didn't know it wasn't real. He was worried about me and I was embarrassed but I told him I live in AZ a few minutes from the Mexican border and in our area if we see something like that, it's real and we run, unless we freeze in place instead!

[mrsdoc3]

I've shared this story before, but it's always good for a chuckle.

 

I had cruised before but hubby hadn't. On the last night of the cruise, we were having fun with friends when it hit me that it was late and we had to put the suitcases outside (before self-debark days). I started to panic to run upstairs when hubby kindly says he would go. I thanked him and told him he needed to put the suitcases outside our door.

 

He goes and then comes back. We come home late and crawl into bed. Next morning as I get ready to debark, I notice that ALL of our clothes were in the closet and drawers, all of our souvenirs...everything.

 

Husband did exactly as he was told. He put all of our suitcases out the night before but EMPTY! :rolleyes: I just assumed he knew I meant to pack them too. The big doofus.

 

So our room steward was "kind" enough to allow us to use two giant clear garbage bags to put everything we owned in them and traipse off the ship and to customs like a couple of middle-aged hobos.

 

THAT'S funny! We must be explicit with those y-chromosome people!

[tamirpr]

Tami OMG Hilarious. I can imagine Tim doing this. I have tears in my eyes I am cracking up hahahaha!:D

 

I know, right?! LOL I let him carry both garbage bags and did my best to stay five feet in front of him.

 

The funny thing is we still fight about it. Just this weekend when getting off the Imagination, I said, "It sure is nice being able to carry our clothes off in suitcases and not plastic bags." He fusses, "I DID EXACTLY WHAT YOU TOLD ME TO DO!" :D He still thinks it's MY fault.

 

Like I said, big doofus. Gotta love him.;)

[mrsdoc3]

My step-mother is 81, but when she was a youngster in her mid-seventies, she went on one of her annual cruises with her friend. They decided to take a canopy tour. :oShe and her friend thought it was a tour around town in a horse drawn carriage with a "canopy" over it. Oh yeah, did I mention that she is terrified of heights? :eek:

 

Hehe, she did it, and LOVED every second of it. Everyone on the tour was so impressed the she was so young at heart, they told everyone they met. They were minor celebrities on that cruise. I think it is one of her favorite memories.

 

I giggle every time I think of her long legs flying over the jungle. She is one tough broad!! :cool:

 

We were on a cruise with my mother and two of her sisters MANY years ago. My mother was probably in her 70s at the time, but she was always ready to try something new -- flying lessons when she was younger, hot air balloon ride in her 60s -- and she was also afraid of heights. Anyway, she decided she wanted to try snorkeling. Interesting, because she always hated to put her head under water! Well, I got a picture of her coming out of the water with all her gear on -- flippers, mask, and tube. I refer to it as The Creature from the Black Lagoon, but it's one of my favorite pictures of her!

[Karmalady]

I've shared this story before, but it's always good for a chuckle.

 

I had cruised before but hubby hadn't. On the last night of the cruise, we were having fun with friends when it hit me that it was late and we had to put the suitcases outside (before self-debark days). I started to panic to run upstairs when hubby kindly says he would go. I thanked him and told him he needed to put the suitcases outside our door.

 

He goes and then comes back. We come home late and crawl into bed. Next morning as I get ready to debark, I notice that ALL of our clothes were in the closet and drawers, all of our souvenirs...everything.

 

Husband did exactly as he was told. He put all of our suitcases out the night before but EMPTY! :rolleyes: I just assumed he knew I meant to pack them too. The big doofus.

 

So our room steward was "kind" enough to allow us to use two giant clear garbage bags to put everything we owned in them and traipse off the ship and to customs like a couple of middle-aged hobos.

!

 

OMG this is hilarious! Husbands are amazing, aren't they? I can so relate. Gotta love our men! :D

[Karmalady]

this isn't as good as the chocolate pillow or putting empty suitcases out, but it's my story, so here goes....

 

my DH hates cruising and I think this is why: on our cruise in 2008 we missed a port due to rough seas, i believe a hurricane/tropical storm had come through a few days before, so the water was still very rough.

 

When we finally hit port in Cozumel, we headed for the beach. DH isn't a big swimmer, so after an hour or so in the pool and an hour or so of non-stop drinking, we decided to walk on the beach. I spotted a row of pedal boats and thought they looked like fun. DH had never been in one and I had only ever been in one on a lake. He donned a life jacket and we pushed the boat out into the water.

 

from the get go there was trouble with the boats as the adjustable backs wouldn't stay upright...therefore, you basically laid on your back in order to pedal. So we were drunk, laying on our backs and pedalling for our lives, only to realize that the swift current was dragging us out to sea. the harder we pedaled, the faster the current was taking us, and the further away we were getting from the shore.

 

The resort we were at had a rope of demarcation that sectioned off it's part of the ocean from, i guess, the ocean part of the ocean. as we drifted over that rope, i reached down and grabbed it, hoping to use it to pull us back to the shore. NO DICE. the current took us as my hands slipped from the slimy rope and we kept on a-drifing.

 

I was juuuuust about to dive off of the boat and try to swim it back to shore when luckily, someone saw that we were having a hard time and they sent a big red boat with a blaring blue siren and the words "RESCATE" emblazoned on the side. they hooked us up to their boat and gave us a tow to shore. We both stumbled out of the pedal boat, exhausted after the long battle with the current ,fell down into the sand and promptly ordered another drink.

 

LOL This is funny and I can relate! We got rescued one time at a AI when hub and friend assured us they had training in hobycat manuevering. Embarrassing when the RESCATE boat comes back to save you but so wonderful that they do! :)

[KatMo]

On a cruise several years ago, shortly after we got on the ship embarkation day, we were in our room unpacking, starting the "disconnect" from the real world process and we hear commotion in the room next to us....we quickly realized what was going on and let me just say...they were having some fun and they had already disconnected from the real world! My husband and I were trying not to laugh out loud and finally had to just leave the room because they were getting louder and louder and louder...

 

We went to dinner and were anxiously waiting for our tablemates (we had been assigned a booth for 4). They arrived shortly after we did and were a lovely couple. We liked them instantly upon meeting them and we had great conversation all through dinner. Then toward the end of the meal, we got to talking about our staterooms. We asked them what deck they were on...they were on deck 11, (same as us)...they then told us their room number. Yep...you got it!!! They were in the room next door to us!!!! It was all we could do not to burst out laughing. We never mentioned the "commotion" from earlier in the day -- but we couldn't look at them anywhere on the ship without smiling and getting that "visual".

[zirka]

On the last night of one of our cruises we all went to the Legends show except my DH. On the way back to the room I almost wet my pants as my DH was sitting in the hall, on our suitcases, wrapped in a towel. He was in his undies and set out the luggage and it tipped over. He tried to pick it up and the door shut so he robbed the housekeeping cart, as no steward was to be found, and sat there and waited for us to get back!:D:):eek:

[re-re]

Funny Now, But was very embarrassing back then, i'm shame to tell it but what the heck. I was sitting with my feet in the pool and some kids started playing around and pushed me in the pool, I can't swim so i panicked and was literally drowning and i'm choking and fighting and the kids are trying to save me, and i'm drowning the poor kid that's trying to save my life and finally the kid slaps me and says just stand up lady the water is only 4feet. I was so embarrassed i stayed in my room the rest of the day.:o

[Love PalmTrees]

Many many years ago on our very first cruise - our honeymoon cruise at that - DH and I would tease each other, trying to get the other person to look out to sea. For example, one of us would say, "Look at that boat out there!" and the other person would get fooled. Well..... on one of our last sea days, we were out sunning on deck. I had walked over to the rail and was looking out at the sea for a while. I suddenly turned around, pointed and declared to DH, "Look at those whales out there!" Not only did DH get up and look, but nearly everyone on the deck came running over! :o Thank goodness it was nearly the end of the cruise. As a matter of fact, today might just be the anniversary of that funny story. We still talk about it. Funny thing is that this was in the Caribbean. Are there whales in the Caribbean in May?

[Tutankhamen]

Not mine, but always make me laugh:

 

Guest calling room service,

Subject: "Tenjewberrymuds"

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. T

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds." G : "You're very welcome."

[Sandpiper10]

On the last night of one of our cruises we all went to the Legends show except my DH. On the way back to the room I almost wet my pants as my DH was sitting in the hall, on our suitcases, wrapped in a towel. He was in his undies and set out the luggage and it tipped over. He tried to pick it up and the door shut so he robbed the housekeeping cart, as no steward was to be found, and sat there and waited for us to get back!:D:):eek:

 

I woke my husband up because I was laughing so hard!

[gobucks_43228]

Not mine, but always make me laugh:

 

Guest calling room service,

Subject: "Tenjewberrymuds"

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. T

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds." G : "You're very welcome."

 

Ha! So true

[spunkyhungry]

Not mine, but always make me laugh:

 

Guest calling room service,

Subject: "Tenjewberrymuds"

To get the full effect, this should be read aloud. You will understand what 'tenjewberrymuds' means by the end of the conversation. This has been nominated for the best email of 2005. T

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."

Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."

RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"

G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."

RS: "Ow July den?"

G: "What??"

RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"

G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."

RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"

G: "Crisp will be fine."

RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"

G: "What?"

RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"

G: "I don't think so."

RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"

G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."

RS: "Toes! toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"

G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."

RS: "We bodder?"

G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."

RS: "Wad?"

G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."

RS: "Copy?"

G: "Excuse me?"

RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"

G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."

RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"

G: "Whatever you say."

RS: "Tenjewberrymuds." G : "You're very welcome."

That's why my husband always insists that I'm the one who will call to order room service.

[theneals4]

I made my husband read this out loud, he did it so good I am crying! Love it!

 

Sent from my HTC Sensation 4G using Tapatalk 2

[Specks_143]

I've shared this story before, but it's always good for a chuckle.

 

I had cruised before but hubby hadn't. On the last night of the cruise, we were having fun with friends when it hit me that it was late and we had to put the suitcases outside (before self-debark days). I started to panic to run upstairs when hubby kindly says he would go. I thanked him and told him he needed to put the suitcases outside our door.

 

He goes and then comes back. We come home late and crawl into bed. Next morning as I get ready to debark, I notice that ALL of our clothes were in the closet and drawers, all of our souvenirs...everything.

 

Husband did exactly as he was told. He put all of our suitcases out the night before but EMPTY! :rolleyes: I just assumed he knew I meant to pack them too. The big doofus.

 

So our room steward was "kind" enough to allow us to use two giant clear garbage bags to put everything we owned in them and traipse off the ship and to customs like a couple of middle-aged hobos.

OMG ROFLMAO Loved this it has been a very long day and this just made it end on a good note THANK YOU FOR THAT:D

[pyropoodle]

I really think it's stories like these that make it so easy for things to kinda roll off my back when i'm on vacation. No matter how embarrassing or upsetting something is at the time, as time passes it becomes a fond/ funny memory and helps me relive the whole experience.

 

I mean, I never want to be rescused by RESCATE again, nor do I want to schlep garbage bags through the halls to the empty suitcases waiting for me at the port, but man, this thread has definitely shown a bunch of people making lemonade out of some hilarious lemons.

 

Keep those stories coming. :D

[virginiab]

I loved the story of the grandma on the canopy tour! I actually retold that story last night to a therapy client, as an inspiration to rediscover wonder in her life. Thanks for the story!

[Harrier1961]

We were on the Liberty this pas April.

We were at the steakhouse one evening.

Next to us, the Captain and several of his officers were also having dinner.

As we were leaving, we asked the captain, who was driving the boat.

Without missing a beat, he replied "My sister!".

Hilarious.

 

Andy.

:D

[Smiling Cruiser]

Thanks for the laughs. Made my day!!!

[nodogkisses]

Funny Now, But was very embarrassing back then, i'm shame to tell it but what the heck. I was sitting with my feet in the pool and some kids started playing around and pushed me in the pool, I can't swim so i panicked and was literally drowning and i'm choking and fighting and the kids are trying to save me, and i'm drowning the poor kid that's trying to save my life and finally the kid slaps me and says just stand up lady the water is only 4feet. I was so embarrassed i stayed in my room the rest of the day.:o

 

Omg! I am dying. This thread is hilarious.

[plywood12]

I was on my honeymoon cruise and were seated with great people for dinner. There was another honeymoon couple from Oregon at the table that we quickly became friends with. Trying to be politically correct here I have to say she was a beautiful women and very amply endowed between the waist and neck. I was sitting across from her one night at dinner when suddenly I felt a sharp pain just below my eye. It turned out that this women had used a safety pin to keep her top a little bit more closed. However, the strain became to much for this simple pin and it popped, shooting across the table stabbing me on my cheekbone. I don't believe she quit blushing for the next 3 days.

[seacat66]

more please

[Cruisin'Doc]

Turns out, the electricity just isn't what it is at home, and the clock wasn't getting enough juice to keep the right time. Over the course of the 12 hours it was plugged in, it slowed down by 90 minutes even with the time change taken into effect!!

 

I learned that day never to rely on a clock plugged into the wall on a cruise ship!!

 

Ok...here's a funny story for you... I didn't realize that's why the clocks slowed down... my mom came by today and showed me the new clock she bought for our cruise we leave for on Sunday. We've thrown at least two away thinking they were broken... :rolleyes: Hahahahaha. Wonder should I tell her...or wait to see if this one can keep time.