Do you get a guilty feeling if you pull your kids out of school?

[sblahars]

Yes, that's why I do it. Luckily I'm secure enough in my parenting that I don't feel the need to justify my actions or decisions regarding my children to people on the internet.

 

So are you saying that the only time you are able to have good family time is during school year.

[Bsan1221]

I am having a hard time booking a cruise with my 8yo for a week that he has school. I know he will only be in 3rd grade, and it probably won't prevent him from attending an Ivy League school when he gets older, but I can't help but have this guilty feeling like I am being a bad parent. How do you get past the feeling?

 

 

Just take him on the cruise!

 

Let the school know and have them give him his assignments to get done.

 

Whats the big deal.

[Katz A Prowl]

I'm sure if you want to take your child someplace during the school year it will be fine. Just talk to their teacher(s) and let them know. I'm sure they can provide a few assignments for the child that they can do while gone, maybe just maybe you could arrange for a project that is cruise related. Pick an excursion that they could do a report about. Maybe they could interview a person from another country or a cruise employee about what their job is like. Be creative, go with the flow and make some fun educational experiences out of it for the whole family!

[sblahars]

Just talk to their teacher(s) and let them know. I'm sure they can provide a few assignments for the child that they can do while gone, maybe just maybe you could arrange for a project that is cruise related. Pick an excursion that they could do a report about. Maybe they could interview a person from another country or a cruise employee about what their job is like. Be creative, go with the flow and make some fun educational experiences out of it for the whole family!

 

Sometimes it isn't as easy as that. I know some schools do not require teachers to give work in advance if he/she is going to be absent if requested by the parents.

[Onessa]

I'm willing to bet that a large majority of people who take their kids out of school for a vacation do it just because it is what is most convenient for THE PARENTS. I'm sure there are exceptions, but mostly because of what the parents want.

 

A blanket statement.

 

Your assumption also seems to imply that just because something is most convenient for the parents that it is bad.

 

For those of you wrestling with this decision, make a family decision - what's best for the family? What works for your situation? If your school district and/or kid's teachers have a regulation against vacation related absences, maybe it is not the right decision for your family. If your child is having difficulty in school, you may want to reconsider. But if there are reasons to vacation at that time (work schedules, cost factors, etc.) and the rest of your stars align (kids can make up the homework, great-grandma doesn't break a hip, etc.) GO!

 

In our case Thanksgiving worked out well for us -

1) it was convenient for us all. DD had extra days off school that we would have needed to take some vacation from work to 'cover'. We could max time on the islands (HI) and minimize vacation days taken because of the holiday days in there.

2) Thanksgiving is a 'dull' holiday in both of our families - DH's side likes to deer hunt, so if we go to visit them we see them in their blaze orange glory just long enough to wolf down a meal, on my side it is just my sister's family and mine, and she has "obligations" from HER husband's side of the family.

 

DD had to miss a few days of school, but was able to make up the work. No harm, no foul!

[4minus1]

Let me put it gently this way. After dealing with leukemia for 5 years and then losing my daughter to a brain tumor 5 years ago at age l0, I never feel guilty whatsoever for putting real important things first. Vacation with family is not only important but educational as well. Just make sure you let them see this side of it and that it is still a privilege for all of us. Now, when they do get older, the amount of time gone from school should be weighed as far as the child's grades, effort, etc. Ok. that's it, but I really felt compelled to reply to this one. signed 4minus1, but she's still with us all the time...

[sblahars]

Let me put it gently this way. After dealing with leukemia for 5 years and then losing my daughter to a brain tumor 5 years ago at age l0, I never feel guilty whatsoever for putting real important things first. Vacation with family is not only important but educational as well. Just make sure you let them see this side of it and that it is still a privilege for all of us. Now, when they do get older, the amount of time gone from school should be weighed as far as the child's grades, effort, etc. Ok. that's it, but I really felt compelled to reply to this one. signed 4minus1, but she's still with us all the time...

 

While I'm very sorry for your loss, I still think those who take their kids from school don't face the same situation you do.

 

And I do have to disagree on the educational aspects of this kind of vacation. Most parents who take their kids from school don't make it educational...jet ski's, the rock wall, midnight buffets, swimming with stingrays, etc, aren't educational.

 

I think you CAN make it educational, but I think the large majority of parents don't. And I don't think the educational value is really all that much, what can you really learn in the few hours you may be in port when most likely, the port city is very unrepresentative of the culture of the country you are in?

[banditmag]

I sympathize as well with many situations, however, do not agree with taking kids out of school for many reasons. The most important being what are you teaching them? Don't answer that family is important because you have roughly three to four months that your child is not in school. I believe that school is a child's job and it should be treated as such. Our schools do not give work to students in advance for pre-arranged absences. It is made up when the student returns. When Junior calls from college to say he is going on a 3 week road trip with his buddies and you ask "what about your classes?" he may respond "you took me out of school all the time for vacation, what's the big deal?"

 

Of course, I feel the same way about parents not having their children (or themselves) follow the dress code in the dining room. If Suzy is sent home from school for not following the dress code her reply may be "you wore jeans in the dining room and that was against the rules." Blast away ;)

[MrPete]

This is Simple:

 

Checked with school; they didn't have a problem with it. Asked for lesson plans; they supplied them.

 

We went on cruise. Turned in homework.

 

Received report card. Straight A's.

 

Had they said no, we would have looked at other options.

[sblahars]

Let me put it gently this way. After dealing with leukemia for 5 years and then losing my daughter to a brain tumor 5 years ago at age l0, I never feel guilty whatsoever for putting real important things first. Vacation with family is not only important but educational as well. Just make sure you let them see this side of it and that it is still a privilege for all of us. Now, when they do get older, the amount of time gone from school should be weighed as far as the child's grades, effort, etc. Ok. that's it, but I really felt compelled to reply to this one. signed 4minus1, but she's still with us all the time...

 

I also want to say, and again, I am deeply sorry for your loss, but I don't think you can go through life just expecting something tragic to happen, and make all your decisions on that possibility. Of course your family is more important than work and school...but at the same time, if you use that attitude everyday, you will find that you won't do well in either.

[parrotthead]

I think you CAN make it educational, but I think the large majority of parents don't. And I don't think the educational value is really all that much, what can you really learn in the few hours you may be in port when most likely, the port city is very unrepresentative of the culture of the country you are in?

:confused:

I have to wonder...what do you base your ( unenlightened ) opinions on? Personal experince? All those things you mentioned are educational in their own right...yes, even the rock climbing wall and jet ski...(some people put their kids in sports, my girls dance)...anything that enriches that childs life is an educational experince. I have read this thread...all of it, and I can see that your views are very deeply set. So I am not trying to change you (narrow) views.

What ever reason parents choose to keep their children home is a personal choice...and I think many of the parents represented here are great parents...as they are willing to and desire to spend more time with their children...( in some cases at great financial expence to the family)...it would be cheeper to leave kids with grandma...but many would not consider depriving their children of a chance to see/do something that might otherwise be out of reach to them.

 

(I think some one could use some mental floss):eek:

You seem to be stuck in a rut as to your way of thinking...

Lighten up...and expand your mind.

[sblahars]

:confused:

I have to wonder...what do you base your ( unenlightened ) opinions on? Personal experince? All those things you mentioned are educational in their own right...yes, even the rock climbing wall and jet ski...(some people put their kids in sports, my girls dance)...anything that enriches that childs life is an educational experince. I have read this thread...all of it, and I can see that your views are very deeply set. So I am not trying to change you (narrow) views.

What ever reason parents choose to keep their children home is a personal choice...and I think many of the parents represented here are great parents...as they are willing to and desire to spend more time with their children...( in some cases at great financial expence to the family)...it would be cheeper to leave kids with grandma...but many would not consider depriving their children of a chance to see/do something that might otherwise be out of reach to them.

 

(I think some one could use some mental floss):eek:

You seem to be stuck in a rut as to your way of thinking...

Lighten up...and expand your mind.

 

 

Climbing a rock wall, laying on the beach, shopping for jewelry, etc, how are those activities contributing to the kid growing up to be a responsible adult? Believe it or not.

I believe that is one of the objectives of being a good parent, raising your kids to be responsible adults, and I don't see how pulling them out of school does that.

[Onessa]

. . . how are those activities contributing to the kid growing up to be a responsible adult? Believe it or not.

I believe that is one of the objectives of being a good parent, raising your kids to be responsible adults, and I don't see how pulling them out of school does that.

 

 

Climbing a rock wall,.

- My daughter's grade school has a rock wall for gym class. The gym teacher wrote a sucessful grant application with accompanying research that demonstrated that the sport assisted in developing reasoning skills, helped develop teamwork, developed abilities for giving and/or following directions. Since the course can be changed, it continues to be a challenge for the kids throughout their elementary education.

 

laying on the beach,.

I've never seen a child lay on the beach :D - they are building sand castles (spatial and engineering skills), running or swimming (excercise), investigating tide pools and other sea life (biology). I will also have you know that on our last HI cruise, we spent only 2.5 hours on the beach on the day we landed (which was an "early release" Friday for my daughter's school) and that was IT. We went to National Parks, snorkeling, Maui Ocean Center (aquarium), historic sites, etc. (And all of us had a GREAT time).

 

shopping for jewelry, etc, .

Budgeting, decision making, (if in a foriegn port) the math that goes with exchange rates, and Cultural awareness. The necklace my 10YO DD chose to purchase with the money she had saved, was made from local shells - she spent over an hour with the artist, who demonstrated how she hand made and polished the beads, and told her the native legends behind each shell.

 

LIFE is a learning experience!

[sblahars]

LIFE is a learning experience!

 

I agree that it is...but you know what, so is school. It is easy for adults who have completed school to say that life is a learning experience, but you need to learn the things you learn in school first.

 

And do you really think that by climbing a rock wall on a cruiseship you are going to learn teamwork...come one...isn't it just the ship employee trying to get your on and off as fast as possible so the next person in line can have a turn?

[goodml]

sblahars what difference does it make to you? I've got every confidence that onessa's child is going to turn out to be a fine responsible adult despite missing a bit of school. Her parenting skills sound just fine. You can judge all you want but the more you write the less credible your arguement is sounding. Sometimes you just have to know when to jump off the sinking ship. Pun intended.

[sblahars]

sblahars what difference does it make to you? I've got every confidence that onessa's child is going to turn out to be a fine responsible adult despite missing a bit of school. Her parenting skills sound just fine. You can judge all you want but the more you write the less credible your arguement is sounding. Sometimes you just have to know when to jump off the sinking ship. Pun intended.

 

Question: Why is it that you can make a judgement on parenting skills from what someone writes, but I can't? Are only positive judgements allowed?

 

I can say the same to you, the more you write the less credible your arguement sounds, but just because I say that, it doesn't mean it is true.

[Onessa]

And do you really think that by climbing a rock wall on a cruiseship you are going to learn teamwork...come one...isn't it just the ship employee trying to get your on and off as fast as possible so the next person in line can have a turn?

 

You asked "how are those activities contributing to the kid growing up to be a responsible adult?", I answered. I am simply telling you the research information that my daughter's Phy.Ed. teacher used to get a grant to purchase a rock climbing wall for his classroom - problem solving, team work, following/giving directions.

 

I also noted that you blythly ignored the other benefits quoted ;).

[wa.mama]

Very interesting reading here.

 

Our family lets the kids decide. They can choose to come if

1) they have straight A's

2) they finish their schoolwork before leaving for vacation

3) they have not missed more than the "allowed" days of school.

 

They know their education comes first. They also realize that perks like vacations need to be preceded by responsibility in the scholastic arena. Travel, though, is a learning experience not obtainable through the classroom. People need many dimensions in their life to be able to appreciate all that the world has to offer. We want our kids to learn with all their senses, and that is very difficult in the classroom. (yes, even though they go to private school)

[sblahars]

You asked "how are those activities contributing to the kid growing up to be a responsible adult?", I answered. I am simply telling you the research information that my daughter's Phy.Ed. teacher used to get a grant to purchase a rock climbing wall for his classroom - problem solving, team work, following/giving directions.

 

I also noted that you blythly ignored the other benefits quoted ;).

 

I have said before, in this thread, that I don't disagree that a cruise (or any vacation) can have educational value. However, I also said that 1) most of the time, they aren't because kids really don't do anything educational, or 2) the things you would learn are things you could learn in school.

 

My point is, don't try to justify your kid missing a week of school by saying that it will be replaced with the things they will learn on the trip.

 

Those things can still be learned if you go on vacation when the school is not in session.

 

I highly doubt that everyone is making their cruise education.

[Quincella]

Yes, that's why I do it. Luckily I'm secure enough in my parenting that I don't feel the need to justify my actions or decisions regarding my children to people on the internet.

 

I'm right there with you. Like you, that's also exactly the reason I do it, too. And see nothing wrong with it.

[Quincella]

While I'm very sorry for your loss, I still think those who take their kids from school don't face the same situation you do.

 

And I do have to disagree on the educational aspects of this kind of vacation. Most parents who take their kids from school don't make it educational...jet ski's, the rock wall, midnight buffets, swimming with stingrays, etc, aren't educational.

 

I think you CAN make it educational, but I think the large majority of parents don't. And I don't think the educational value is really all that much, what can you really learn in the few hours you may be in port when most likely, the port city is very unrepresentative of the culture of the country you are in?

 

Why does it have to be educational at all? What ever happened to experiencing the world as a family? Which do you think your child will remember longer...what he did in gym class and art history one week in 5th grade, or the rancient ruins he say at Tulum?

 

Also, I think that the point of 4minus1 was that you never know what might be taken away from you and you should live life to the fullest while you can. Hopefully none of us will have to go through what she did.

[Quincella]

I also want to say, and again, I am deeply sorry for your loss, but I don't think you can go through life just expecting something tragic to happen, and make all your decisions on that possibility. Of course your family is more important than work and school...but at the same time, if you use that attitude everyday, you will find that you won't do well in either.

 

 

Excellent point.

[sblahars]

Why does it have to be educational at all? What ever happened to experiencing the world as a family? Which do you think your child will remember longer...what he did in gym class and art history one week in 5th grade, or the rancient ruins he say at Tulum?

 

Also, I think that the point of 4minus1 was that you never know what might be taken away from you and you should live life to the fullest while you can. Hopefully none of us will have to go through what she did.

 

The reason I keep talking about it being educational is that everyone seems to be justifying their choices by saying the trip will be more educational than school.

 

You are right, as far as I'm concerned, I think that a vacation should be just that, a vacation. I don't want my kids to have to worry about schoolwork or do a report on the places they visit. Think about that, your are a young child, and you go to this great place to see, but you have to do homework there...that doesn't seem fair.

 

All that being said, there is a time for this, and the time is when he/she doesn't have other responsibilities, namely during times when school is not in session.

[racepoint]

OMIGOSH! I just can't read all of the postings on this subject and admit that after reading the same thing over and over, I began to skim through most of them. I am in disbelief at all the protest about taking a child out of shool for 5 days for a 7 day cruise and suspect that it's the same folks who despise finding children on board their cruise who are prostesting the loudest. IF WE COULD TRAVEL DURING BREAKS, WE WOULD! I'm fairly certain that I am just adding more fuel to the fire, but I have to add, "what is the big deal?" One week away from school (5 days) is not going to adversely affect a childs/teenager's schooling if they're good students in good standing. I won't begin to argue the "educational experience" or "family time" issues that have been brought up. Those are a given. I'm talking about 5 days from a perfect attendance schedule. I admit, we did this once before, 3 years ago. We're able to do it this Sping, but I'm not sure we'll ever be able to do it again. (looming college expenses) I would cruise during vacations in the school year other than the fact that I work for a sole practitioner who takes all of the school vacations for traveling himself, so I have no choice other than to not go (:eek: ) We don't make a practice of this, in fact, my kids have had perfect attendance for the last couple years We're anticipating a 7-day cruise in March and are already preparing them for the time off. The teachers will NOT give out assignments ahead of time. It was basically explained to us that they don't know exactly what they'll be teaching that week and assigning for homework until the day. Not a problem. The kids will make it up. What will we gain from it? MEMORIES for a lifetime. PRICELESS!!!!

[parrotthead]

Well said, racepoint! Well said! many are in agreement with you!:cool: