Do you get a guilty feeling if you pull your kids out of school?

[dad son team]

I am having a hard time booking a cruise with my 8yo for a week that he has school. I know he will only be in 3rd grade, and it probably won't prevent him from attending an Ivy League school when he gets older, but I can't help but have this guilty feeling like I am being a bad parent. How do you get past the feeling?

[Deb in Cali]

I pulled my son out of his first three weeks of first grade to go to Tahiti. It was the only time that the ticket prices/schedule would work. It wasn't a cruise, but a vaction back to my MIL homeland. He learned more about Tahiti and being in a foreign country than he ever would have accomplished in school.

 

 

Go talk to your son's teacher. Just made sure that you give the teacher a few weeks notice, then teacher can put him on Independant study. This means that the school still get their $$$. The teacher will send a packet of work to be accomplished during the time that you are gone. You can also have him do a special project and have him bring something exciting from the area that you will be cruising. He can bring money, stamps, postcards, posters, sea shells, etc to share with the class.

 

If you do a search on the family section under home-schooling you will find a thread with wealth of ideas for you to incorporate into your cruise. :D

[angelsx4]

My husband is a high school principal and I have to tell you as long as the kids are able to keep up with class work, it's not a problem. We do however give the school plenty of notice as required. We let them miss 4 days for a family vacation last year(first time we ever let them miss school for vacation) and they slid right back in with no problems. They will be out 8 days next year for our cruise, it's right after we get back from Christmas vacation. We're planning on letting the teachers know a full month in advance so we can try to work on it during Christmas break. We want them to come back "ahead" when they get back from the cruise. While school is important, family is more important, and they'll remember that. Just make sure too that it's not during crucial testing periods, like the Star/CAT tests. The schools really do need those results, and they need ALL the students to test. That's just as important as their results, 100% testing.

[tribbs1]

Just do it. We are a family of 6 so we pulled our kids for a week when they were in 4th and 5th grade to go to Disneyworld. October is cheaper, and the weather is nicer than summer or over other breaks. We just went back over x-mas and let me tell you how crowded it was. Over 2 hours wait for most attractions. So again, is it worth it? Absolutely. Family time is important. He will be visiting foreign countries and seeing different cultures. You can certainly work in a little language, history, p.e. every day, right? Besides he will not miss much in 3rd. grade. My three oldest are in H.S. now so I would never take them out for more than a day or two now, but I don't regret doing it when they were younger.

[justmarie]

We do every fall, (this will be our 5th cruise in Oct). My son is 11, and he has learned so much, and has had no problems getting back in the swing of things.We have traveled once during a Feb school break, but it is so much more $$ during these breaks, and summer is nice in Mich so we stay here. We always have him bring back some items for his classes.

[elaineof6]

Your school district probably has an absentee policy regarding the number of days kids are allowed to miss. As long as you don't go over that number, you should be fine.

 

I agree that you should notify the school in advance, and get information about upcoming lessons tat you may be able to cover while you're cruising. I would also ask if your child's teacher (or any other teachers in the school) are covering any of the countries you'll be visiting, and offer to bring some souveniers (menus in a different language, artsy things, small candies, etc).

 

You also could have your child(ren) keep a journal of the things they're doing while cruising. There is a thread here about homeschoolers going on cruises, and they have some wonderful ideas about what to cover and how to make it fit the lesson.

 

Language arts: compare menus (especially if you happen to stop in at a McDonald's or something familiar)

Math: converting currency/time zones/"is it a bargain?"/travel distance and time

Social Studies/Geography" Map work, post cards/culture/"what's similar, what's different"

Music/Art: self-explanatory

PE: snorkeling/hiking.clombing- especialy if you use the Shore Excursion worksheet that rates activity levels

 

I would think that as long as the school is comfortable that your children will still be learning, they'll be okay.

[cali-croozer]

In elementary school, the work is easy to make up. Like other posters have said, just talk to the teacher at least a month in advance. In middle school, it gets iffy, and depends on the subjects your child is taking and the school policy. In high school, it's just too hard for the kids to make up their work, and, in some cases, they won't be allowed to make up their work for an unexcused absence (this is the policy in my school district). We've gone from taking off-season vacations when the kids were in Elementary and Middle School (not every year, of course) to peak season vacations now that my kids are in high school. One plus during peak season cruising is that there are a lot of kids on board waiting to meet new friends!:)

[cruisinqt]

A long time ago, when I had first joined Cruise Critic and was new to the boards, I got flamed BIG TIME:mad: for saying that I pulled my kids out of school for a cruise. There are a lot of cruisers here at Cruise Critic that can't stand having lots of kids on board running around the ship. There is even a new group cruise that is for ADULTS ONLY. I just thought I'd warn you that someone might come along and flame you for saying that you pull your kids out of school. :(

 

That being said, I pull my kids out of school once a year for a week long family cruise every year and it has always been a blast for the whole family. :D And it DOES NOT cause any problems for the kids at school. I am president of the PTO, volunteer at the school several times a week, and have very close friendships with many of the teachers. The teachers and faculty have assured me that it causes no problem for them or my children as long as I let them know in advance and the kids take their homework along and work on it every day. My girls are in elementary now, so I can't comment on older children in high school. But as for younger children, it isn't really a problem.

 

After our first cruise, my oldest daughters teacher had her stand at the front of the class and describe what life was like in the foreign lands she went to on her cruise. She answered many of the kids questions and the teacher was pleased with how much she had learned on her cruise. On a later cruise, the school had a fund raiser so we could bring much needed school supplies to the schools in the poverty stricken areas of Mexico.

 

My experiences with pulling my kids out of school has been very pleasant. But if it's going to bother you or keep you from enjoying your cruise, then don't do it. My advice is to go ahead and give it a try. If it bothers you, or causes a problem for your kids or the school, then don't do it again. My kids not only learned a lot in the lands they visited, but they learned a lot in the kids center on the ship. The counselors all have a degree in teaching or some other child related subject and they don't just watch the children, they teach them lots of neat stuff. My children have helped make a volcano explode, they've created their own rubber balls, and they've done lots of other great learning activities.:)

[elaineof6]

the school had a fund raiser so we could bring much needed school supplies to the schools in the poverty stricken areas of Mexico.

 

Wow, great idea! There are some threads in here about bringing things to the impoverished areas in the Caribbean and in Mexico- maybe the OP's kid(s) could start a service project for something like gently used clothing, or school supplies, and bring things to one (or more) of the places they visit.

 

Try this thread: http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=152175

[angelsx4]

That's a great idea to take school supplies. We're going to do shore stuff on our own, except Puerto Vallarta possibly. We had a couple from our church take an entire suitcase of things to an area where their son served a mission near Acapulco. I would love to figure out where we could take items.

 

My youngest dd learns things "funny", and the teacher was telling me about how the staff was just watching a film about all the different ways teachers in other countries teach simple math, like addition/subtraction/mult/div. It would be fun to just see another campus where kids their age go to school. I'll have to start stocking up on school supplies and doing some research!

[whale-watcher]

Many years ago we got grief for pulling our daughter out of pre-K for a trip to Costa Rica! We discovered that travel is such an enriching educational experience, that we ended up home-schooling our 3 kids, primarily to allow us to travel more easily. I wouldn't feel guilty at all -- you will be providing him with experiences that he would never have if he stayed at home!

[joshmansmom]

We are getting ready to pull our kids out of school for the last two weeks of school to go on a cruise around the British Isles. My daughter who is in 3rd grade, will be actually withdrawn from school early. We were told that this way her days missed would not be counted against her and she would not have to make up any of the work. My son who is in 7th grade, will need to take a few tests when he gets back. Although I talked to all of his teachers a couple of weeks ago, only one has given him a few things to do before we go.

I think that the experiences gained will outweigh the two weeks of school missed. However, once they are in high school, I would think twice about even taking them out for a few days.

I tell people all the time, " I learned more about the world in the six months that I studied in London during my Junior year of University, than I did the other 3 and a half years."

[Cruisin' Chick]

Two years ago we took our 5-yr-old (at the time) out of kinder for a week as we got a fantastic deal. Asked for the homework (yes, kinders have homework now:( ) and took with us. She did miss the Valentines Day swap but I had brought in our candy and cards before the trip and when she returned she was given her take.

 

Now the LA public schools are making a big deal out of attendance. They get money per school per day from the state. There's also a lot of truancy but in certain areas. Where we live, if a child is out it's because he's sick or his parents decided to treat him to Disneyland, etc.

 

At one PTA meeting, someone said, oh a sick kid can come in for five minutes and count toward the day's attendance. I thought, "gimme a break." So a few months ago when a cold swept through the school and caused a lot of absences, the principal had to put in a note in the newsletter that if your child is sick, yes, leave him home.

 

Now some of the school board (and one mayoral candidate, if not both) is pushing for all high school students to be required to take a college prep schedule. Incredibly stupid.:eek: Let's just encouraged the less-academically able students to want to drop out!

[the4ofusandallourfriends]

You have nothing to feel guilty about.

 

First, my kids are in grade one and five.

 

Personally, I don't like travelling on a cruise with alot of other people's kids, so I avoid Disney ships and school breaks like the plague. When we've gone, usually in Jan or Feb ...it always seemed like the right amount of kids on board....( on Norwegian and Celebrity...about 100-150 kids on board)....and the parents seem to be more 'involved type parents' who keep a close eye on their kids, (as opposed to some parents who might choose a cruise, on a school break, to 'get rid' of their kids).

 

We've had one teacher who didn't like the idea but was okay with it, most have been really supportive and some thought it was the greatest thing.

 

I don't bring homework or journals anymore...that's not a vacation for me or them.....so now, my kids send a postcard with the days activities, everyday from the port of call. The class and the teachers loved getting the cards...Some took a week, some over a month to make it to the school.

 

There's so much to learn at each port of call. My kids have learned about monkeys and much wildlife, cavetubed in Belize, learned about mayan culture, seen a volcano, climbed an ancient temple ruin, seen the effects of a hurricane, have experienced all sorts of currency, learned about spices, brought supplies to Roatan and Grenada, experienced all sorts of transportation and bridges.............all things they can often relate in school. My daughter even made a replica of the pontoon bridge with a video of her walking on it, for one of her projects.

 

Most importantly, they get a great sense of family, of belonging, they've seen how other cultures live and they can appreciate the things they have....my daughter still remembers how the kids in Roatan had no shoes to run around in... just that is an education that is priceless.

 

If all else fails....just remember....a bottle of rum or a spice basket always makes for a happy teacher!

[sblahars]

I think it is a bad idea, I don't think it is a good lesson to teach kids. They have the summer off, that is when you should be going on vacation. Having the teacher put together a "study packet" is selfish because the teacher has enough work to do for the other students who didn't decided to take a vacation.

[angelsx4]

sblahars, it's not selfish to ask a teacher for a study packet. It's their job. There are plenty of parents that don't care about their children's academic success, but obviously not the parents in this post. My husband is an educator and he wishes half the parents cared enough to ask for help prior to a scheduled leave. An organized, trained educator would not have a problem getting together a packet a little early that the rest of the class will be working on anyways. And, as long as the parents write a note or call it in, it IS an excused absence. I resent being called selfish because I want to take my children on an experience of a lifetime.

[Cruisin' Chick]

Sometimes the parents can't take off during the summer. Schools have a problem with these kind of trips because they need the money that's based on daily attendence. If a teacher is putting together homework packages anyway, that's not a problem. A good teacher would even make suggestions for ways a student can keep up with the studies.

[Thomas M. Bottom]

We are taking our children out of school for their 3rd cruise next spring, &I don't believe it's selfish at all. If anything it's quite generous on their mother & myselfs part. My wife & I both bust our tails all year to afford taking the family on a week of pure paradise that will be etched in each mind forever. I'm proud to be able to provide a little better than my folks did for me...my daddy always told me I'd feel that way...

 

Anyway, We always take homework & they have had to write a journal (w/pictures!) detailing the days activities (which is a wonderful keepsake) on each trip so far.

 

 

There's so much to learn & expierience...do it now as tomorrow might be too late

[elaineof6]

Schools' incomes from tax revenue isn't based on daily attendance. There is A (as in ONE) day every year where they do a head count, and the funding is based on that count. It's been that way since the 1960's.

 

Further, if this absence is cleared ahead of time, the child(ren) would still be counted. Excused absences don't count against the schools, it's the UNexcused absences that count.

[familycruzer]

When my kids were younger (7 and 11) I had no problem pulling them out of school for a cruise. I made them read each day while on the ship and write in a journal each night before bed. I also made them do a report to turn in to the teacher and do all the missed work. Now that they are older (10 and 14) we dont take them out of school any more because the older child missed too much work.

Our cruises have been a great learning experience and memories they will have for a lifetime. Go while you have the chance.

[familycruzer]

I think it is a bad idea, I don't think it is a good lesson to teach kids. They have the summer off, that is when you should be going on vacation. Having the teacher put together a "study packet" is selfish because the teacher has enough work to do for the other students who didn't decided to take a vacation.

 

Maybe you are just a person who wants to cruise without children around.

 

My taxes pay the teachers salaries and it sure is not selfish to ask for study packets. I can tell you that a week on a cruise is more educational than what they can teach my kid in a week.

[sblahars]

I understand all these points, but why does it HAVE to be during the school year? I just think it is a bad lesson to teach kids that vacation is more important than their education. Family vacations ARE important, but they should be taken during the summer.

 

And I do think it is inconsiderate to the teacher and the other students to get special treatment (and that is what you are asking by wanting work in advance) just to go on vacation during school.

 

I'm sure someone is going to say, "I can't get off of work during the summer to go on vacation." My reply to that is that you should have the same attitude for your childs education as you do about your job. You can't play both sides and say "I can't get time off at any other point", but then take your kids out of school when they don't have time off.

 

Agreed that missing a week of 3rd grade isn't going to cause him/her to not get into a good college, but I feel that it creates a mindset that taking a vacation is more important than education.

 

And I also agree with what someone said about doing good for your kids and making things better for them than what you had, I have no arguement against that except that why does it HAVE to be during the school year. I truly feel that by taking your kids out of school, you are NOT making it better for them.

 

I realize that I'm not going to change anyone's mind, I just feel really strongly about this. I'm glad my parents didn't take me out of school for vacation. I believe that contributed to my sense of responsibility I have now towards my job and my continuing education.

[justmarie]

Try comparing the price of a cruise in the summer and then one during an off time. Our family goes when WE can afford to, not during the summer when the rates are over double and it's too hot (We only get nice weather in Mich for a few short months and do not leave) Holidays are also too pricey, not only the cruise but airfare is too. I have never had a teacher in the 4 years that we have gone say anything was wrong with what we were doing, they/class always asked many questions when he returned as to what it was like. We as parents choose to do things a certain way, and there will always be people with their own ideas about what is "right" There is no "right", it's what WE decide is best for our children that is "right"

[Onessa]

Going to school is my daughter's "job" - her responsiblity, part of my duty to make certain she gets an education. She takes it seriously, I take it seriously. She dresses appropriately for school, she does her homework, she does enrichment projects, she gets good marks.

 

My husband and I work full time. We vary our schedules so that I am there to get her on the bus in the morning, and he is there to pick her up at school in the afternoon.

 

Our school district (like all others) has "early release" days, vacations, staff development days, etc. throughout the school year. We use up most of our vacations covering those days off. So when, for example, she has off 3.5 days in November for Thanksgiving, we grab it for a family vacation. It is the difference between having a family vacation and not. It means she'll be out of school for 2.5 or 1.5 days, but we can fufill another duty we have - to be a family.

 

Has my daughter's education been compromised? No. She is in third grade and reads at the level of a college freshman. She gets all "3" and "4" (on a 1-4 grading scale). When her class was studying Europe, she shared her experiences in Italy, France, and Germany. When her class was studying geology, she shared her experiences on a glacier in AK, with volanoes in WA and HI. When her class studied ocean animals, she had seen whales, seals, dolphins, rays, jellyfish, etc. in the wild. When her class studied native Americans, she had seen authentic totums.

 

Does my daughter believe that her obligation to school is somehow diminished because we "flaunted the rules"? No, we followed the rules. We discussed the time off with her teachers and principal before hand. She has expectations as to school work she needs to do (either before the trip or during the trip).

 

The "bad lesson" is to demonstrate that work/school is more important than family. My friend (and her 13YO son and 10YO daughter) just lost her husband (their father) to a massive heart attack - he worked 10-12 hours a day, 7 days a week and they never had a "real family vacation".

 

I cherish the time I can spend with my daughter. If that means that my house is not 100% disinfected clean - so be it. If that means that she will miss a day-and-a-half of school this November - so be it. She knows that she is important to me.

[Nliedel]

I pull my children out for vacation every year. We have to work my husbands vacation schedule around other employees and a demanding "On Call" schedule and cannot work it out any other way. We go out of our way to notify the school and make sure that they work on assingments before we leave. We make our vacations educational. We go out of our way not to create work for their teachers as well. it is not a crime to take time off school I am not sure why we are so paranoid on this board about this. I have seen the worse sort of flames for this very thing. Honestly we care a great deal about our children's education I can assure you that is not the case with many kids in their classes. The absentee rate for the "Spring Music Concert" this past week was appalling and those were kids who were in school that day because I was there for something and know who showed up.

 

My children's education is not the responsibility of the Ann Arbor Public School System. The responsibility falls to myself and my husband. The school works in concert with our family philosophy and work. School is an imporant part of my children's education, it is just that however, a part. Learning to be functional human beings, play hard and work hard and take time to be together, all of us, is as important as a formal education.