Teen Drinking and Carnival - Not For everyone

[Blk_Amish]

It is not the villages business to raise other people's kids. It's time to hold the adults responsible for their kids. Instead we enable them by saying, "Don't worry, you don't have to parent because the village will take care of it." Well I'm not buying it. They are my kids, not the villages. If I want my kids owned by the village I'll move to Russia.

 

No, where I was born and raised, a village raising a kid means as adults we always look out for the best interest of children. As God is my witness, I thought I was part of a cruising community/village. Even though I don' know any here and hopefully some never will, I thought it was my responsibility to share what I learned, so maybe one parent can be more prepared. By doing this I thought I was being a good villager but it tuned out more like the village idiot. You know all villages need one, then again no village/community exist. I have people looking out for my kids as I do theirs, some I know, others I don't. If you think it's not a village/community business to look for for the best interest of kids, then I respect your opinion and your choice as a parent to care only about yours.

 

All I was trying to say, parents if you didn't or haven't, check the luggage. How really awful is that because I know I will next time. The rest like curfew or caring enough to give a darn about someone else's child, personal decision.

[mlrm]

We are cruising in a few weeks and our 19 yr. old daughter is coming with us. We did everything we could to raise her to be a responsible kid. When she shipped off to college we did not tell her that she is underage and not to drink. (I am not that naïve) Rather I told her I knew she was going to, just be smart about it. Once the "Forbidden Fruit" was taken off the table, it was not a big deal to her. She didn't have the rush of getting away with something behind her parents back. She is in her 2nd year of college now and doing quite well. Has she partied while she has been there? Absolutely. Part of the experience and growing up IMHO. Has she abused alcohol? No. She is carrying 2 majors, Chemistry and Biology. She tells my stories of the things she sees her fellow students do, and how poorly they are doing in school because of over indulging. I would not let her smuggle anything on the ship, however if she wants to go to Senor Frogs while in Nassau it's ok by me. I will probably go with her. I am fairly certain the captain will not let her drive the ship when she gets back on.

[Warm Breezes]

My first carnival cruise was one month BEFORE my 21st birthday. I was always a good kid, and didn't start "experimenting" with drinking until a little bit into college.

 

I can tell you, based on that experience, there was NO WAY carnival would serve me a drink, even a month shy of 21. Trust me, I tried a few times. They looked at me funny, and then basically told me "YEAH, NO WAY."

 

However, my best friends mother, who traveled with us, gladly gave us a few bottles. Looking back, probably not the best idea and definately made her negligent if anything had happened.

 

While I symphatize with the death of the 18 year old man, I upsets me how quick people are to put the blame on others nowadays, especially big companies. It's a sad, sad, situation, and maybe im jaded, but I feel like people look for the deepest pockets during any tragedy. We live in a very sue happy country that ends up costing all of us at the end of the day.

 

My experience was different. When we sailed Carnival Freedom in 2009 DS was 15. We went to the Lido upon boarding. I ordered DH and I Funship Specials and he left to get his food. The waiter came back and handed DH's drink to DS without question.

[jpurdy]

As Judge Judy says: "All teenagers lie". Love that quote. OP don't let the ruffled feathers parents get to you. I get what you were trying to say. You were just putting your thoughts out there. I wouldn't want to re-live the teenage years again EVER. It was hard, so stressful and yes, by the grace of the higher power we all made it through.

[irishnyc]

No, where I was born and raised, a village raising a kid means as adults we always look out for the best interest of children. As God is my witness, I thought I was part of a cruising community/village. Even though I don' know any here and hopefully some never will, I thought it was my responsibility to share what I learned, so maybe one parent can be more prepared. By doing this I thought I was being a good villager but it tuned out more like the village idiot. You know all village needs ones, then again no village/community exist. I have people looking out for my kids as I do theirs, some I know, others I don't. If you think it's not a village/community business to look for for the best interest of kids, then I respect your opinion and your choice as a parent to care only about you and yours.

 

All I was trying to say, parent if you didn't or haven't, check the luggage. How really awful is that? The rest curfew or caring enough to give a darn about someone else's child, personal decision.

 

 

I think you would have gotten a much different reaction to your initial post had you not mentioned your thoughts on Carnival imposing a curfew on teens.

[Blk_Amish]

I think you would have gotten a much different reaction to your initial post had you not mentioned your thoughts on Carnival imposing a curfew on teens.

 

No, I doubt it. To get a different reaction you would need people/village/community who care. Most people live in towns with curfew, mine has one. Would it be so bad if I thought regardless of the parents, young kids out at 3 am is not a good idea, something should be done to protect the kids. We stand by and say or do nothing while the child become a possible victim as a result of having so-so or bad parents? Worse than a bad parent is the so- called good one, who thinks that poor child is not my responsibility because mine is fine and dandy.

 

I made it clear the purpose was to share what I learned from a good scource, my teen.

[devion_mack]

I definitely think that the age should be raised for voting and you should have to take a test.

 

 

I agree! And since I'm a life long Democrat I should delevop the test...

 

NOT!!!!!!!!

[swodog94]

I definitely think that the age should be raised for voting and you should have to take a test.

There is a test...don't we all have to take some type of Government/ Civics class in HS? Naturalized citizens are required to take a test before they get their citizenship...I helped my parents prep for theirs and it's not easy, the average man-on-the-street would not pass it.

[swodog94]

We are cruising in a few weeks and our 19 yr. old daughter is coming with us. We did everything we could to raise her to be a responsible kid. When she shipped off to college we did not tell her that she is underage and not to drink. (I am not that naïve) Rather I told her I knew she was going to, just be smart about it. Once the "Forbidden Fruit" was taken off the table, it was not a big deal to her. She didn't have the rush of getting away with something behind her parents back. She is in her 2nd year of college now and doing quite well. Has she partied while she has been there? Absolutely. Part of the experience and growing up IMHO. Has she abused alcohol? No. She is carrying 2 majors, Chemistry and Biology. She tells my stories of the things she sees her fellow students do, and how poorly they are doing in school because of over indulging. I would not let her smuggle anything on the ship, however if she wants to go to Senor Frogs while in Nassau it's ok by me. I will probably go with her. I am fairly certain the captain will not let her drive the ship when she gets back on.

LOL! Thanks for inserting a little humor into what has become a fairly accrimonious thread.

[Socref124]

There is a lot of bad parenting going on and because of bad parenting, this will consistently be a problem at home, our colleges and university's and on cruise ships. To many parents trying to be their kids buddy instead of mom and dad. The OP makes some valid points. I agree with a curfew. If the parents don't care enough, then cities and corporations need to step in. Not to get into a political discussion, but progressives like to treat children like adults and they aren't adults. Children need direction and someone that cares enough to punish them when they step over the line. Spare the rod, spoil the child.:eek:

Thanks for this post. If it wakes some parents up and they check on their teens the op did us all a great service.

My kids were good kids growing up, but, they tried to sneak things by us. They got caught most of the time and I'm glad the times they got away with something like this wasn't life altering.

[frayedend]

No, where I was born and raised, a village raising a kid means as adults we always look out for the best interest of children. As God is my witness, I thought I was part of a cruising community/village. Even though I don' know any here and hopefully some never will, I thought it was my responsibility to share what I learned, so maybe one parent can be more prepared. By doing this I thought I was being a good villager but it tuned out more like the village idiot. You know all villages need one, then again no village/community exist. I have people looking out for my kids as I do theirs, some I know, others I don't. If you think it's not a village/community business to look for for the best interest of kids, then I respect your opinion and your choice as a parent to care only about yours.

 

All I was trying to say, parents if you didn't or haven't, check the luggage. How really awful is that because I know I will next time. The rest like curfew or caring enough to give a darn about someone else's child, personal decision.

 

You make a good point. I guess I would like if it was the way it used to be, where an adult could tell a kid what they are doing is wrong. Nowadays, you say something to someone else' kid and they get offended and you end up being in trouble. That's not so much what I was arguing about as much as making the point that parents really need to be parents.

[Georgia Peach 4]

My son is 15 and will be 16 by the time we cruise in October. He is a Boy Scout, active in JROTC and a very good, responsible young man. However, that doesn't mean that he doesn't push his limits. Last year a boy took chewing tobacco and cigarettes to Scout camp...which my son participated in....so, that being said. Kids will by the influence of their peers, or for whatever reason, experiment and go with the flow to be "cool" even after all of our lectures and explanations of dangers and risks.

 

He has roomed with his older brother on a cruise, but when it's just him and mom and dad, he rooms with us. He can hang out with the teen group in the "club" during the day and after dinner, but he DOES have a curfew and there are consequences if he doesn't make it.

 

Some things are learned from having an older brother too...seen what happens when you don't come home by curfew, mom comes hunting you down in her pj's. That's humiliating!

[kimberleyb1961]

I've never understood the allure of getting so drunk, that you don't remember where you have been or where you should go. Especially when you are paying good money to travel. But then again, my sister says I am oh so boring. At home, we don't drink much. My DH will have a couple of beers on a weekend, but not every weekend. On special occassions, we will enjoy a bottle of wine or champagne. And while on a cruise, I will partake in a DOD because to me, nothing tastes better than a drink I don't have regularly or a drink made by a bartender. I've tried to make margaritas or pina coladas, but I fail miserably at that. So, I just don't understand bemoaning the cheers package for limiting the number of alcoholic drinks to 15 a day (that's a lot of booze) or sourcing out booze smuggling methods, bragging about how wasted they got on a cruise or ringing up a four figure bar tab. I'm on vacation, I want to have fun, I want to do things I don't normally do, I get that. But I want to remember my vacation too, and not through out of focus camera pictures with people I don't remember much less know.

 

Now, I agree it is not Carnival's job to parent. It really isn't. However, each ship is a community unto its own. To operate efficiently and with safety for all concerned, Carnival must set some rules. Like no store bought alcohol. Limiting the number of bottles of wine brought aboard, the amount of water or soda brought aboard, sure, once can say that Carnival is protecting a lucrative income stream, and there is not a doubt that the bar revenue is an important factor in keeping down cruise fares, but just as any facility that does not allow outside food and beverage, it is also about food and drink safety and chain of responsibility for the safety of that food and drink. If you smuggle in tainted water and you get sick from it, then Carnival has no responsibility for the consequences, nor can it determine if the illness is caused by your breaking of the rules or if it is something under their control and they need to stop it to prevent others from becoming ill. Additionally, if you assault someone, you will be put off the ship. If you bring aboard a weapon, you will be put off the ship, if you violate any rule, you can be put off the ship. And these rules, just like the laws and codes in any community, are for the safety and benefit of all. So, if a community sets aside a set of rules for those under 18, including a curfew, it has nothing to do with a parent's responsibility or lack thereof, but is for the safety and benefit of all. Just as Carnival sets the minimum drinking age as 21, they should set forth a curfew for those under 21 as well, not to replace parenting responsibility, but for the safety and benefit of all, including the youth and other youth as well. The punishment for breaking curfew would be returning the youth to the parental unit, and warning them that continuing disregard for the rules will result in stiffer penalties, but what the parent does to the child, regardless, that is what the parent's responsibility is. The parent is responsible to see that their child follows the rules and accepts responsibility for breaking them. But a curfew should be made by Carnival, just as many resorts do, and it is up to the parent to make sure that their child follows the rules. JMHO

[mlrm]

LOL! Thanks for inserting a little humor into what has become a fairly accrimonious thread.

 

Acrimonious hits the nail on the head. A lot of Monday morning Quaterbacks out there. :D

[Georgia Peach 4]

No, where I was born and raised, a village raising a kid means as adults we always look out for the best interest of children. As God is my witness, I thought I was part of a cruising community/village. Even though I don' know any here and hopefully some never will, I thought it was my responsibility to share what I learned, so maybe one parent can be more prepared. By doing this I thought I was being a good villager but it tuned out more like the village idiot. You know all villages need one, then again no village/community exist. I have people looking out for my kids as I do theirs, some I know, others I don't. If you think it's not a village/community business to look for for the best interest of kids, then I respect your opinion and your choice as a parent to care only about yours.

 

All I was trying to say, parents if you didn't or haven't, check the luggage. How really awful is that because I know I will next time. The rest like curfew or caring enough to give a darn about someone else's child, personal decision.

 

I appreciate your reminder. Because, we aren't perfect. None of us are graduates of the perfect parenting club. And even if we were perfect parents, that doesn't mean our kids are perfect. I will take it as a reminder to check the luggage and carry-ons (even though there isn't alcohol at home that he would have access to, if he wanted to I am sure he would find resource). I will remind him about the dangers of underage drinking/smoking/dipping and the consequences. Both for cruising and for summer camp!

[babyher]

Let's not forget that the term "It takes a village" , was made popular by a woman whose own child was raised by nanny's and secret service agents while she looked the other way on a philandering husband .

 

Family values being what they are.

 

My kids (all grown now ) were always MY responsibility. Not "the villages"

 

 

 

Yes there were teachers that educated them, and coaches that guided them in athletic endeavors . But I was the final say on their upbringing and values . I know I wasn't perfect , but I must have done somthing right. Neither on ever got into REAL trouble and today they are both doing very very well You wanna have a say in raising my kids ? Here is half the grocery, utility, mortgage tuition,doctor, orthodontist etc etc etc bills. Write me out a check and we will talk about you having your say.

 

The OP finally wakes and realizes "Heavens to Betsy , minors can sneak alcohol " and suddenly wants the village to do something.

[Cuizer2]

If you don't mind my asking where in Cali do you live? I live in So Cal and there is no sense of a village raising a child here. And checking the luggage is good but a lot of rum runners are carried on the person. So unless you frisk your child you may miss it. I don't think Carnival should be responsible for the kids. That is up to the parents. Although I do believe that Carnival should kick the whole family off the ship if the parents dont supervise their kids.

 

Who are you asking?

[Blk_Amish]

 

The OP finally wakes and realizes "Heavens to Betsy , minors can sneak alcohol " and suddenly wants the village to do something.

 

No, I didn't but if I did what would be so bad if I learned something and say, hey to other like myself, I did not know. I woke up and realize the child who died from alcohol poisoning could have been mine or someone I know. Am I worried, yes, but I pray and have faith.

 

At what point did I say I want anyone to do anything except to check kid's luggage, be more vigilant, now that is a bad thing? So, I woke up not so much to minors sneaking alcohol but the DEATH of one. What is so wrong about that or should I wait for something to happen so more perfect parent can tell me I fell asleep or stayed asleep on the job? I woke up and for that I am glad.

 

To keep your kid safe at times, there are things money can't buy, an extra set of eyes, ears, or a gently hand on the shoulder to say no SON that's not nice.

[babyher]

No, I didn't but if I did what would be so bad if I learned something and say, hey to other like myself, I did not know. I woke up and realize the child who died from alcohol poisoning could have been mine or someone I know. Am I worried, yes, but I pray and have faith.

 

At what point did I say I want anyone to do anything except to check kid's luggage, be more vigilant, now that is a bad thing?

 

 

You be vigilant, you check your kid's luggage . Thats your responsibility. We don't need the government or some big corporation do do all our work for us .

[fireofficer5]

I've never understood the allure of getting so drunk, that you don't remember where you have been or where you should go. Especially when you are paying good money to travel. But then again, my sister says I am oh so boring. At home, we don't drink much. My DH will have a couple of beers on a weekend, but not every weekend. On special occassions, we will enjoy a bottle of wine or champagne. And while on a cruise, I will partake in a DOD because to me, nothing tastes better than a drink I don't have regularly or a drink made by a bartender. I've tried to make margaritas or pina coladas, but I fail miserably at that. So, I just don't understand bemoaning the cheers package for limiting the number of alcoholic drinks to 15 a day (that's a lot of booze) or sourcing out booze smuggling methods, bragging about how wasted they got on a cruise or ringing up a four figure bar tab. I'm on vacation, I want to have fun, I want to do things I don't normally do, I get that. But I want to remember my vacation too, and not through out of focus camera pictures with people I don't remember much less know.

 

Now, I agree it is not Carnival's job to parent. It really isn't. However, each ship is a community unto its own. To operate efficiently and with safety for all concerned, Carnival must set some rules. Like no store bought alcohol. Limiting the number of bottles of wine brought aboard, the amount of water or soda brought aboard, sure, once can say that Carnival is protecting a lucrative income stream, and there is not a doubt that the bar revenue is an important factor in keeping down cruise fares, but just as any facility that does not allow outside food and beverage, it is also about food and drink safety and chain of responsibility for the safety of that food and drink. If you smuggle in tainted water and you get sick from it, then Carnival has no responsibility for the consequences, nor can it determine if the illness is caused by your breaking of the rules or if it is something under their control and they need to stop it to prevent others from becoming ill. Additionally, if you assault someone, you will be put off the ship. If you bring aboard a weapon, you will be put off the ship, if you violate any rule, you can be put off the ship. And these rules, just like the laws and codes in any community, are for the safety and benefit of all. So, if a community sets aside a set of rules for those under 18, including a curfew, it has nothing to do with a parent's responsibility or lack thereof, but is for the safety and benefit of all. Just as Carnival sets the minimum drinking age as 21, they should set forth a curfew for those under 21 as well, not to replace parenting responsibility, but for the safety and benefit of all, including the youth and other youth as well. The punishment for breaking curfew would be returning the youth to the parental unit, and warning them that continuing disregard for the rules will result in stiffer penalties, but what the parent does to the child, regardless, that is what the parent's responsibility is. The parent is responsible to see that their child follows the rules and accepts responsibility for breaking them. But a curfew should be made by Carnival, just as many resorts do, and it is up to the parent to make sure that their child follows the rules. JMHO

Go away tea totler.:)

[Blk_Amish]

You be vigilant, you check your kid's luggage . Thats your responsibility. We don't need the government or some big corporation do do all our work for us .

 

We be vigilant, we check luggage, that's our responsibility. I agree!

 

One more got the purpsoe of this lovely thread. There is hope for us all. I see a village coming together:D

We do all this and our kids will be fine and dandy.

[Tapi]

We don't need the government or some big corporation do do all our work for us .

 

Really? Wonder what would happen to all the children who are removed from homes with unfit parents if there weren't any laws to protect them.

[Blk_Amish]

My gosh, I finally figured out what some of these responses are all about.

 

smh, the more things change, the more they stay the same.

 

To be called a liar and put so many on the defensive, for what, saying check luggage and heaven for bids have a curfew.

 

No, not that at all!

[DebJ14]

Does not surprise me that the kids are sneaking it on. Probably learned their best tricks from their parents.

 

I know that several kids on the Conquest were drinking. Some from their parents mini-bars. Some from smuggled boozes. Some in the ports of call.

 

Kinda scary but I do monitor what my teens pack and I do check them through hugs, high fives, etc for consumption.

 

It could have been the teen's parents who were sneaking it on for them. There have been lots of incidents in our town where parents gave parties for their teens and provided the booze and weed. The cops gave all the kids citations for Minor in Possession and underage drinking, drug possession etc. and the parents were arrested.

 

Many parents are naive about what their kids will get up to when they are in their own cabin. There are plenty of "Eddie Haskell" type kids out there. I know - our youngest son's best friend was like that. Charming and ingratiating to all the adults in his life, but in reality a sneaky, underhanded liar. His parents wouldn't believe their precious son was like that in spite of warnings from teachers, friends and law enforcement. Talk about denial! Thankfully our son listened to us and dropped the friend, but not after getting caught many times sneaking around with the kid after being forbidden to have anything to do with him. Our son finally grew up and saw the light and dropped the friend for good. Our son graduated from college and got his MBA and is gainfully employed. I doubt he would have succeeded with such a negative influence in his life. Unfortunately, his friend did not ever change his ways and it all ended tragically.

 

My brother was also an Eddie Haskell type. He used to smoke and drink behind my parents back and got caught often. He replaced the booze he drank with water until my father started marking the bottles by making a small cut on the label. He caught a dust mop and a rose bush on fire by trying to hide his cigarettes when my parents returned home early. I can spot kids like him a mile a way since I had to live with it in my home growing up. I see so many parents in denial about their little darlings.

[SJS]

I seldom make comments on these threads but enjoy reading others comments and recommendations. I don't understand the need to judge others who's opinions are different than ours? I'm taking my 18 year old grandson on a 4 day cruise in October to celebrate his high school graduation. He has heard about the joys of cruising from my 12 cruises and I wanted him to share the experience. But now I'm worrying this is not the best idea? I sure don't want him drinking and won't be relaxing for me if I have to worry about him sneaking out the cabin at night to join friends he may make onboard! Should I rethink this vacation??