.......idle jottings

[abenaki]

I just wanted to know if you were listening before. Fine, have it your way.

 

The ladies of the village, down below the Manor, will be enthralled with it all when they are invited up to Poshland for a private screening, pre all the BAFTA hoopla that is sure to overtake the village.....

 

Coachloads of cruiseship passengers on excursions to simply drive past the legendary Manor Hum, craning their necks from the upper deck to see over the walls, hoping for a glimpse of the glamorous couple lounging in the oddly lit jardin.

 

The laneways and the teashops will be equally clogged on days when Carnival ships are docked. Perhaps even drones with cameras flying overhead... who knows how the tabloids will treat this story....."Stunning new discovery of cinematic glamour couple leading humble lives behind the manor walls"

 

Some such drivel learned from none other than the master himself.

[popper]

Not really outside dining (with a bottle of rose) weather though is it?

 

Global warming has been good to us this year.... Nearly 90F early part of last week.... More temperate now!

[popper]

I just wanted to know if you were listening before. Fine, have it your way.

 

The ladies of the village, down below the Manor, will be enthralled with it all when they are invited up to Poshland for a private screening, pre all the BAFTA hoopla that is sure to overtake the village.....

 

Coachloads of cruiseship passengers on excursions to simply drive past the legendary Manor Hum, craning their necks from the upper deck to see over the walls, hoping for a glimpse of the glamorous couple lounging in the oddly lit jardin.

 

The laneways and the teashops will be equally clogged on days when Carnival ships are docked. Perhaps even drones with cameras flying overhead... who knows how the tabloids will treat this story....."Stunning new discovery of cinematic glamour couple leading humble lives behind the manor walls"

 

Some such drivel learned from none other than the master himself.

 

Just make sure they bypass the proposed (?) solar panel farm near Manor Hum! Brings the tone down a bit! Or is it considered progressively posh now?

[ho-hum]

Bye, bye Malagaland!

Fantastic voyage.

Hope you felt you came along in a virtual Hum sense.

Photo taken 15 minutes ago...yes its cold and cloudy.

We will walk through our door in 4 hours time for champagne!

[ho-hum]

Bye, bye Malagaland!

Fantastic voyage.

Hope you felt you came along in a virtual Hum sense.

Photo taken 15 minutes ago...yes its cold and cloudy.

We will walk through our door in 4 hours time for champagne!

 

Ok it wasn't 4 hours and it's a NZ Syrah....can't trust that Hum.

Oh and it's a glorious day too.

[CruiseCriticAUeditor]

We would have stayed on for another week Jim but we have a 50th birthday bash in Sydney, Australialand to go to (yes a SD chum).

 

Hello from Cruise Critic's editor down under - yes, there is now an Australian site! I'm a quiet, lurking fan of this thread (and my first cruise was SDI in 2005, what a cruel way to start) so thought I'd say g-day. Am very much looking fwd to your Australian jottings :)

 

Louise Goldsbury

Australia Editor

Cruise Critic

[abenaki]

Fortunately you have arrived home in time to celebrate, ol Hummie.

 

"World Naked Gardening Day: Annual Holiday Celebrating Nudism in Nature to Be Held May 7

On World Naked Gardening Day, people are encouraged to tend to the various flora around or outside their home while in the nude. The event is celebrated annually on the first Saturday of every May."

[ho-hum]

Safe travels to Oz Ho-Hum and Blondie.

 

Got to pop over to Panama for a few days first Jim.

Your Obama chappie has cracked down on money laundering and Hum has got to personally attend a hearing before sending it all back to "Swisscheeseland".

Of course when Trump and even if Clinton get in then these policies will be dropped and we will be back to normal again.

 

Ruddy nuisance actually.

Finding secret safe havens these days for your "piles of dosh" is getting far more difficult year on year.

Some people will never know!

 

Hums chums in the FO (Foreign Office) says its Mr. O "having a pop" at Putin for "out-smarting" him all the time.

Comrade P has billions over there.

It just makes it such a "kerfuffle" for those with just a few tens of millions.

Again it's the "little guy" that always has to suffer.

The bank has put on a private jet transfer from Miami (stocked with DP) and back, so there are a few precious "small mercies" and they are putting us up in a "swish gaff" too.

 

Then we return to "Blighty" to pay the staff.

Costs rise all the time yet they remain oblivious to the price of fine champagne and as the caviar stocks are dwindling, so the prices rise, all of which adds to the costs of simply trying to keep our "heads above Badoit".

But do they care?

At least the minimum wage they cry and reduce hours to 60 a week!

Where will it ever end?

Weekends off next, no doubt!

 

It is then we travel (Emirates....of course 1st!) to former "Convictland" for a two week, birthday "bash"!

Now these Aussies are a genteel lot and not used to drinking and although they will all be 15 - 20 years younger than Hum. Hum will demonstrate that the "Aristos" from the "old Country" can still teach them a lesson or two about behaving whilst well "lubricated".

They're also suckers for the "Downton Abbey" accent which Hum will accentuate a tad for the "Sheilas".

Give them a bit of the ol Hummy charm, well it'll be a nice change from the Aussie guys they are used to.

 

But really they love the banter which they call "sledgin'"........there is no finesse in their barbs and Hum's reposts (of taste, refinement and wit) are lost on these Neanderthals (the men that is; the ladies are a lot smarter, no really, a lot!).

Oh how smug Hum feels at times.

The food in "Ozland" is "proper bonzer" and there are some brilliant wines to be had too though the "amber nectar" is pissibly worse than your country's offerings.

 

Hum was introduced to Vietnamese "street food" whilst staying in Sydney last time after being introduced to it by other Aussie friends from Brisbane (yes from SD also and yes we stayed a few days with them too: the Sydney chum is also a SD chum and we intend to meet up with even more of' em: 8 at the last count and their chums too, no doubt to "gawp" at the film celebrities of such notable BBC2 documentaries).

So we cannot wait to eat well again amongst great Aussie chums who also know "a thing or two" about wine too.

 

The Aussies are (or were quite well off) selling the huge deposits of "dirt" they have to the Chinese so we met a lot of them on their SD travels but due to the downturn, well things aren't quite so "hunky dory" for them now.

We get almost 2 of their "Drongos" to 1 of our "Rule Britannias" so we can afford the "fillet" rather than the "hanger" now and maybe even the 707 rather than the "Yellow Tail" (no, we never drink that muck). There are some fabulous wines out there and Aussie riesling (Polish Hills) is divine: Hum prefers it to the "Krauts" version (sorry GCMV).

 

Hum will give you the "nod" when he flies out Jim but until then Hum will "take his foot off the pedal" (pisting-wise): you are probably all "drivelled out" and sick and tired of "His Obnoxiousness" anyway!

"Indeed" ehh Cabbie?

[ho-hum]

Just make sure they bypass the proposed (?) solar panel farm near Manor Hum! Brings the tone down a bit! Or is it considered progressively posh now?

 

It certainly is not!

[ho-hum]

Hello from Cruise Critic's editor down under - yes, there is now an Australian site! I'm a quiet, lurking fan of this thread (and my first cruise was SDI in 2005, what a cruel way to start) so thought I'd say g-day. Am very much looking fwd to your Australian jottings :)

 

Louise Goldsbury

Australia Editor

Cruise Critic

 

Hum thought first "Oh crikey what has Hum done now"?

Another warning?

Saw Editor and Cruise Critic you see.

Quick think back of what offence Hum could have caused this time.

But no, it was friendly, no warning.

A sigh of relief.

 

But then really Hum should have read your post before penning Hum's "Aussie post" previous pist.

You know it was all "tongue in cheek".

Hum pretending to be much grander than he actually is: the compensating reflex of a man with low self-esteem if the truth be told.

No doubt you've met these pitiful types before Louise (if Hum may be so familiar).

 

So Louie.

Sorry.

So Lu Lu darling

Hum cant help himself today. Pull yourself together.

Making a damn full of yourself again.

Apologies.

 

So Ms.Goldsbury

You want to read Hum's "......Aussie jottings"!

Haha

Really?

Hum had intended to slow down on account of "Hum overload".

 

But you know Hum is really looking forward to this trip and the chums will be wonderful, food will be great, wine will be fantastic and Sydney is brilliant and Hum hears the weather is good even for your winter.

 

So in the spirit of chum-ness, you bein' nice and friendly and all and to partially amend for Hum's earlier rude posting.....

Well alrighty then, Hum will think about it.

It would only be about meeting up with Aussie chums (mostly all SD chums), eating and of course the odd "drinky-poo".

 

We are staying at a variety of places; a self-service apartment at Pullman Grand Quay which we love, our chum's beautiful apartment in Pyrmont and Longitude (you know where...always wanted to visit this place) and hopefully we will visit our chum's mother at Collaroy (wonderful quaint coastal town) as well as SD chum's homes on the water around Sydney.

Phew!!!

Maybe photos too (if internet is good).

 

Do you know the SD representative in Sydney? Forget the ladies name.

Well she is a chum of our chum who is having the birthday.

 

Hopefully no lasting harm done, Louise.

Lovely to have heard from you and a great idea having an Aussie, Cruise Critic site.

Aussies love to cruise and visit Europe.

They are always friendly, approachable and have a great sense of humour.

Hum and Blondie luv 'em.

[sydneycruisers]

Hi from the Colonies - and yes, I must confess to being a long time lurker of this(and cc in general) thread. Happily following your SD travels and commentary since our most recent sailing together, Venice - Rome, 2016. George (the last time I think you caught up with each other was mid Dubai airport) and I would love to share some of our fine food and wine with you and Blondie if you have time whilst here in Sydney later this month. Seems I have an old email address for Blondie so apologies for masked method of contact!

In answer to your question re Australian SD rep, her name is Julie Denovon.

This being my very first post - am not sure if possible to private message?

Hope we can catch up - at the very least a glass of bubbles in the Pullman Quay Grand Bar.

H x

[vandrefalk]

I've sailed with Julie several times -- she is a delight!!

Vandrefalk

[ho-hum]

I just wanted to know if you were listening before. Fine, have it your way.

 

The ladies of the village, down below the Manor, will be enthralled with it all when they are invited up to Poshland for a private screening, pre all the BAFTA hoopla that is sure to overtake the village.....

 

Coachloads of cruiseship passengers on excursions to simply drive past the legendary Manor Hum, craning their necks from the upper deck to see over the walls, hoping for a glimpse of the glamorous couple lounging in the oddly lit jardin.

 

The laneways and the teashops will be equally clogged on days when Carnival ships are docked. Perhaps even drones with cameras flying overhead... who knows how the tabloids will treat this story....."Stunning new discovery of cinematic glamour couple leading humble lives behind the manor walls"

 

Some such drivel learned from none other than the master himself.

 

The price of fame, the price of fame alas......how Hum sometimes pines for your simpler life in the "settlement", whittlin' wooden spoons for the ocassional passing tourist at the settlements "Gift & Tea Shop" and singing folk songs of long ago attired in your simple country smock.

 

"The ladies of the hamlet" (not village: we dont live near Manhattan you know or other such great ghastly conurbation!). The ladies lead by Dame Witherspoon-Crutchworthy, a retired "big wig" in our intelligence agency (MI6; one above MI5) specialising in Serbo-Croat arms smuggling offered her wide experience of organisation to create the "Friends of Hum Manor" whereby the ladies pop over and clean the whole "pile" from top to bottom for a round of cucumber sandwiches and a brew of Lady Grey tea (less bergamot than the "Earl" varietal: Hum likes it). They have the lightest of touches around the "Chippendales" that really should have their tenons re-glued but the authentic adhesive is boiled up horse bone and well they are kept so much better these days, so fewer old "mares" you see.

Dame W-S wears an eye patch after a knife fight in Kosovo with a Russian arms smuggler many years ago. Her real sexual preference is ambiguous but she shuns George the gardener's son whom the other ladies swoon over when they view him topless in the potting shed. No, she likes "cook" who can snap the necks of hens, rabbits in a "jiffy" but her faithful "red setters" are company enough.

 

About what was Hum suppised to be listening before?

Hum's "shell likes" are always turned and tuned towards the frozen tundra of Abenaki-kins's bleak "settlement"....... maybe the "baying" of the starving wolves has drowned out your furtive cries.

 

Was it this message by any chance ?

 

I keep forgetting to ask what ever happened with your budding new career as an Irish Travel Writer? It is almost a year ago that I forwarded to you the appropriate Guinness stained FairIsle sweater for your costume.... You probably haven't been anywhere in the meantime, so you have nothing to write about....

 

Hum would definitely have remembered a Guinness "stained" Fair Isle jumper (Brits call "sweaters", "jumpers": a term that caused some quite fierce disdaining looks of disapproval from some Americans when Hum said he was going to his cabin to get his 'jumper". It baffled Hum for days until he was told suicide wasn't something to joke about! Hum agreed. When asked to explain, the misunderstanding of terminology was discovered).

 

Sorry, returning to subject.

Hum would have remembered receiving a gift from you.

Well any gift really!

Maybe you are confusing Hum with another budding "beau"?

A young (well young-ish) man starting his career on the "boards".

Yes there have been so many, it must be difficult to recall all the gifts and who you gave them.

Maybe it's you who should consider the tattoos, Hum referred to.

Please Abenaki-kins, go and feed the cats now, dearest dear.

[abenaki]

You confuse me so, o great one.....

[ho-hum]

You confuse me so, o great one.....

 

...touche, even greater One (dearest, please remember the Oloroso is stringer that you think and it seems every day you are taking a nip earlier and earlier. Hum's not chiding you...just, well just informing)

[Jim Avery]

They have the lightest of touches around the "Chippendales"

 

https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q=&esrc=s&source=web&cd=4&ved=0ahUKEwiIppCxhb7MAhVFOiYKHbjyDK8QFghGMAM&url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.chippendales.com%2Fdancers&usg=AFQjCNFzs1XoMshWPN48LHfNx8FIwPlZYg

 

Now I know why Blondie is always so happy...... All those Chippendales around.:D

[ho-hum]

They have the lightest of touches around the "Chippendales"

 

Now I know why Blondie is always so happy...... All those Chippendales around.:D

 

Furniture....Hum was referring to the dining room chairs.

Oh Jim, really!!!

[ho-hum]

Fortunately you have arrived home in time to celebrate, ol Hummie.

 

"World Naked Gardening Day: Annual Holiday Celebrating Nudism in Nature to Be Held May 7

On World Naked Gardening Day, people are encouraged to tend to the various flora around or outside their home while in the nude. The event is celebrated annually on the first Saturday of every May."

 

First may Hum say how much Hum is enjoying your revival to post.

But you are frigging kiddin' ol Hummy!

Gardening in the "nuddy"!

Haha

 

It's 8C here and frosts are forecast next week too!

We live in Britain dear chap not ruddy Southern California!

And Hummy aint goin' to go exposing his ample folds and "Crown Jewels" to any walkers that pass on the public footpaths and bridleways that abound the Estate!

 

Hum's "knick-knacky-noos" are kept well and truly under wraps at ALL times!

 

What the heck is the matter with these people?

But maybe we should not be ashamed of our bodies and we should not pass on our inhibitions to children (yet naturally safeguard them from predators).

Unfortunately for Hum, inhibition is just too predominant and actually the wish to shed simply is not there though thinking about it, Hum did have a "funny turn" in Death Valley many years ago and actually wanted to do precisely that!

To commune with the ALL, avail oneself from separation and just be......oh Hum is a mystic too.

But Blondie was at hand (so to speak) to talk Hum through the consequences ...... but Hum was gone!

 

To bed up the hanging baskets and pots (with or without white Geraniums) in the "all together" just doesn't appeal and Hum doesn't have the same "ripped" looks as your Adonis-like self dear chum besides where do you keep your "dibber"....no, don't answer that!

 

Enjoy the video Abenaki ....... you dear, dear man.

Haha

 

[YOUTUBE]et1DzrNO5fc [/YOUTUBE]

[ho-hum]

Hi from the Colonies - and yes, I must confess to being a long time lurker of this(and cc in general) thread. Happily following your SD travels and commentary since our most recent sailing together, Venice - Rome, 2016. George (the last time I think you caught up with each other was mid Dubai airport) and I would love to share some of our fine food and wine with you and Blondie if you have time whilst here in Sydney later this month. Seems I have an old email address for Blondie so apologies for masked method of contact!

In answer to your question re Australian SD rep, her name is Julie Denovon.

This being my very first post - am not sure if possible to private message?

Hope we can catch up - at the very least a glass of bubbles in the Pullman Quay Grand Bar.

H x

 

Oh my, just how many "Aussie Lurkers" are out there?

Don't usually think of Aussies as the shy and retiring type.

So, so pleased you ventured out into the Cruise Critic forum and made contact sydneycruisers. God bless you darling!

 

Blondie tells Hum, you sailed 3 times with Blondie (twice with His Eminence). The first time was when Blondie sailed with a "super-chum": Mad Helen.

"Mad Helen" has a laugh that pierces metal.

A passenger in 215 complained about hysterical dolphin shrieks. The Concierge said it was Blondie's chum laughing ......... she could be heard from the TOYB!!

Once she starts..........

 

What better way of life is there than to meet up with chums in a nice and relaxed environment eating and drinking well, swopping tales and having fun.

All our SD chums are rich in life experience, have a sanguine approach, are easy going, fun in a relaxed style and interested in one another. There is nothing better than that.

 

So of course, we would love to meet up!

God help our livers though!

And as the Universe expands so does Hum's stomach.

Maybe Hum's the cause!

 

Blondie tried to contact you too.

 

So Hum suggests this: you email SDII Concierge (sd2-concierge@seadream.com) and ask Rachel / Arla to send you Blondie's email address (Hum has notified them that George and H..... from Sydney, Australia are chums and would they be kind enough to give Blondie's email to you).

If that doesn't work, we shall devise another way.

 

Another idea to try.

Use Blondie's "real" first name followed by:

"....@mfca.co.uk"

 

Yes Julie Donovan....that's the lady.

We briefly met at a party in our chum's Pyrmont apartment.

Nice lady and fun too.

 

Again sooo nice you err......bovvered.....

[abenaki]

hahahahahahahahhahahahah You do make me smile, ol Hum

[Jim Avery]

Furniture....Hum was referring to the dining room chairs.

Oh Jim, really!!!

 

Furniture???? Oh THAT Chippy. Lois says she likes the other type better.:eek::D

[ho-hum]

You know Hum has been hearing whispers.

The same ones.

And do you know what they are saying?

SDIII !!!

Something's going on, that's for darn sure!

Senior people are moving around the company and coming into the company and then they go all quiet.

Do you believe there really could be a SDIII?

Soon (say within two years)?

Oh Hum is so cynical.

But .......

Hum has obtained exclusive photos!!!!

[ho-hum]

You know both SDs seem to be having more charters than ever.

Great news for the company but bad news for you and Hum!

[TrapperZimmy]

You know Hum has been hearing whispers.

The same ones.

And do you know what they are saying?

SDIII !!!

Something's going on, that's for darn sure!

Senior people are moving around the company and coming into the company and then they go all quiet.

Do you believe there really could be a SDIII?

Soon (say within two years)?

Oh Hum is so cynical.

But .......

Hum has obtained exclusive photos!!!!

 

Not sure I'm going to like SDIII. Looks like all inside cabins. And where are the Bali beds going to go? But it does appear to have a huge TOY bar. Seems that will be the only shaded space on deck. Do you think they will permit pets onboard?

[ho-hum]

Not sure I'm going to like SDIII. Looks like all inside cabins. And where are the Bali beds going to go? But it does appear to have a huge TOY bar. Seems that will be the only shaded space on deck. Do you think they will permit pets onboard?

 

Well enquiries are "flooding in"!

Bali beds not fitted.

It's expected to sail only in heavy rain conditions

Yes pairs of pets are allowed, encouraged even.....

The odd thing is, there is only one crew!

God knows how it will all work out