Traveling with a minor and absent parent

[SFplusP]

Okay, I know this has been asked before- about getting a letter to travel alone with your child, but this is a unique circumstance.

 

I will be traveling with my husband, 4 year old son who is his step son, and our mutual daughter. My 4 year old sons father is in prison, so I can't exactly get a permission letter from him- nor does he have any right to give or take away permission for anything.

 

What kind of documents can I bring to back up that he is in prison? I never got anything when he went.

[gerif]

Do you have a court order awarding you sole custody? If not, you should. Contact the attorney who handled your divorce about getting one. That would suffice for travel.

[SFplusP]

Do you have a court order awarding you sole custody? If not, you should. Contact the attorney who handled your divorce about getting one. That would suffice for travel.

 

There are no court orders. We were never married. He was arrested when I was still pregnant and went to prison when my son was 10 months old. After he was in prison they put him on the birth certificate- I did not originally have him on there, and I have copies of the original one that does not list him, but I believe there is a more recent version with his name on there. But he is in prison and not allowed contact with any kids, including his own, without notarized approval from a child psychologist since he is in prison for sex with a minor and is a child sexual offender now.

 

There is no real way for me to get permission from him- nor would I ask for it, really, as he has no rights at all in the situation, being in prison. But I don't know what that means for us going on board.

[SFplusP]

Further, he was sentenced to 30 years- not like he has a chance of getting custody back or anything (not that he ever even had it in the first place). Not sure if that makes a difference.

[Kerry's Girls]

You say you think there is a different birth certificate, but does the certified (not copy) birth certificate you're using to travel have a father listed? You need proof that you're allowed to travel alone with him - not that his father is in prison. If you have or can get a certifited copy of the birth certificate without a father's name on it, that would show that there is no father in the picture and would solve the problem.

 

If the certified birth certificate has a father listed, you need legal permission to travel. I would hate to be at boarding with excited children and end up not able to board. It's true that most likely you won't be asked IF all the last names are the same, but that's quite a risk if you happen to get someone who is aware of non-custodial kidnapping. I'd think it would be worth it with a 4 year old to get legal sole custody to avoid any hassles for 14 more years. But hopefully you're using a certified birth certificate with no father listed and shouldn't have any problem - there are lots of kids these days with only one legal birth parent.

 

Have a great cruise!

 

Best,

Mia

[Cruisin' Chick]

Sounds like you should be consulting a lawyer (family practice) because there could be other situations that can come up besides this one and you'll want to have something official that says he has no say so in your son's life. I imagine this is not really all that unique of a situation, unfortunately.

 

I think this would be important to get something that will keep him out of his son's life as somebody, probably a lawyer under his direction, managed to get that birth certificate changed, and to me that should be a major red flag.

 

Hope you get this resolved.

Edited April 5, 2014 by Cruisin' Chick

[SFplusP]

Sounds like you should be consulting a lawyer (family practice) because there could be other situations that can come up besides this one and you'll want to have something official that says he has no say so in your son's life. I imagine this is not really all that unique of a situation' date=' unfortunately.

 

I think this would be important to get something that will keep him out of his son's life as somebody, probably a lawyer under his direction, managed to get that birth certificate changed, and to me that should be a major red flag.

 

Hope you get this resolved.[/quote']

 

It was child support that added him to the birth certificate. They also said there would be no further hearings (re: child support or custody) until he gets out of prison- which if it goes as scheduled won't be until after he is 18- because his father can't do anything anyway right now.

[SFplusP]

He happened to call right after this, and I asked him to just jot out a quick letter- it's mostly at face value since he's in prison and not allowed to make decisions for DS, but whatever, we'll have it in our bag.

 

Still curious about if anyone has been in a similar situation though, for future. We don't have regular contact, and I have 14 more years of this, so for next time.

[Kerry's Girls]

Saying the father is in prison and having a non-notarized note isn't going to help if you're questioned. You haven't said if your child's ID lists the father - What document are you using for I.D. - a passport or a certified birth certificate? Hopefully a passport or a certified birth certificate with just your name. Sorry, but if it's something else I would have a back up plan ready for what to do if you're stopped at the port and not allowed to continue (will you all forfeit the cruise, will two continue on?). As you say, you have 14 years ahead - I would want a legal document showing that I have full custody so I could freely travel with my child. Cruisin' Chick gave excellent advice.

 

Really hope you all have a wonderful cruise.

 

All the best,

Mia

[russianmom]

I'm going to have to agree with the others. Unless you have some type of court order that terminated his parental rights and the "legal" copy of the birth certificate you have has his name on it I would seek out a lawyer.

 

Just a non-notarized hand written note isn't going to cut it.

 

My husband and I are married and I frequently travel w/ my kids w/o him. I always have a notarized note giving me permission to leave the country and I HAVE been asked for it more than once.

[Onessa]

This is a good excuse to get this taken care of once and for all. As others indicated you will need to consult with a lawyer. Many will do an initial consultation for no fee -- if it is something that HAS to be handled by a lawyer (or maybe a paralegal) it will cost you some money. But a reputable attorney will tell you what should really be done.

 

But if you get this "taken care of" then if something happens later on in your child's life you will not have to revisit this. What if something happened to you, who would have legal "claim" to your son -- his step-dad, one of your relatives, one of your son's biological relatives? What if there was some situation where you had to be with your other child and your DH had to travel with his step-son? What if your son had a medical issue and the biological father's relatives wanted to interfere with your son's treatment? Ugly things happen. Best to be prepared.