Etiquette: Dinner companions

[OCruisers]

"Then there was the last night of the cruise -- we had enjoyed the company of the other couple at our table so much that we were excitedly looking forward to our last dinner together, to wrap things up and to say proper good-byes. But when DH and I got to the table, we were told by the waiter that the other couple had opted to dine at the buffet. I was actually so disappointed that I cried. I was really saddened that I would not see these people again, and not tell them how much we had enjoyed their company and wish them well! Some may think I over-reacted (and perhaps I did), but this is how I felt"quote

as I have learned on these boards, that some people go to the buffet on the last night instead of the dining room to avoid tipping the waiters:eek:

 

Certainly understand your feelings were hurt when you realized they didn't care enough to even say "Good Bye". Hate that happened to you. :(

LuLu

[SeagoingMom]

"Then there was the last night of the cruise -- we had enjoyed the company of the other couple at our table so much that we were excitedly looking forward to our last dinner together, to wrap things up and to say proper good-byes. But when DH and I got to the table, we were told by the waiter that the other couple had opted to dine at the buffet. I was actually so disappointed that I cried. I was really saddened that I would not see these people again, and not tell them how much we had enjoyed their company and wish them well! Some may think I over-reacted (and perhaps I did), but this is how I felt"quote

 

as I have learned on these boards, that some people go to the buffet on the last night instead of the dining room to avoid tipping the waiters:eek:

Yes, I have since heard that. Of course, being first-time cruisers, we had no idea that that was something people did. I cannot say if that was the motivation of our table companions.

[John Bull]

 

as I have learned on these boards, that some people go to the buffet on the last night instead of the dining room to avoid tipping the waiters:eek:

 

Last-night absences reached embarrassing levels on P&O ships in the days of the envelope. :rolleyes:

I'm no great fan of auto-tip, but after it was introduced attendances rose significantly on the last night. :)

 

But to be fair, some skip the MDR on the last night to pack & get an early night.

 

JB :)

[JanineM]

If we have fixed dining, we always tell the waiter (at the least) if we won't be at dinner the next night. Depending on our relationship with the other people at the table, we will tell them too.

 

We've had some horrible table mates - like the couple who won a cruise and their table manners were just AWFUL. But honestly, we could stand spending 90 minutes with them, we just wouldn't plan to have drinks with them.

 

We would ask to change tables if we had real differences with other parties. For us, it would come down to politics or religion ... things that shouldn't be discussed in public ;)

Edited July 19, 2014 by JanineM

[JanineM]

There are a host of valid reasons for requesting a change. We have only changed twice. Once when we were two at a table for six, and the other four didn't speak English (or American, to be exact).

 

What is speaking "American"? I'm dual citizen Canadian/American and some of our closest friends are English. We all speak the same language - don't we? :confused:

[Dariah]

As a newbie..is this the way it is for all cruise lines? We did buy the My Time dining plan so will we be dining alone? Or with different people every night?

[Marie51]

As a newbie..is this the way it is for all cruise lines? We did buy the My Time dining plan so will we be dining alone? Or with different people every night?

 

With my time dining you can request to eat alone if you wish or be put at a large table. basically your choice.

[dancinman66]

Alit if common etiquette is not so common anymore

I try not let any other guests at the table get to me with their insensitivity

As long as I am following some guise if etiquette I am happy

 

 

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[ger_77]

If we aren't coming to dinner the following evening because we have something else planned, we always tell our table-mates and servers. Failing that, we call the dining room and advise the manager that we won't be at our table that evening.

 

On our first cruise, we didn't realize we could ask for a table change; we were seated with a mother/daughter couple who were very religious, and another couple - he was an accountant and she was a file clerk - now before you flame me, I have nothing against those occupations, but conversations with them were about as stimulating as watching paint dry. They had no interest in any topics we brought up, and dinners were painfully silent. When we ordered a bottle of wine for our first evening, the mother/daughter virtually shunned us from that point on . . . totally ignoring our attempts at polite conversation. We "endured" dinners that cruise, and swore the next time we would opt for the Lido, rather than having to put up with such discomfort.

 

Years later we look back and realize how "green" we were, and would have no hesitation to ask for a table change if we find we're not compatible with our table mates. Fortunately, we've had great dining experiences since that time, but the option is always there for us.

 

Smooth Sailing! :) :) :)

[rjgdjg]

Hi-

 

If you are going to make a table switch, it's best to do it the following day because after that, it gets increasingly difficult (the tables are more or less set after that). Of course, you can always do "my time" dining.

 

If you're simply taking a night off because you're eating at a specialty restaurant, I wouldn't think it would be necessary to tell anyone, but of course, it would probably be appreciated! (And you'd be nicer than many others!) - Diana, musingaboutcruising.blogspot.com.

[OCruisers]

Years later we look back and realize how "green" we were, and would have no hesitation to ask for a table change if we find we're not compatible with our table mates. Fortunately, we've had great dining experiences since that time, but the option is always there for us.

 

Brings back memories of being so "green" we simply didn't realize how easy it was to make changes in the MDR.

LuLu

[notentirelynormal]

A couple of cruises ago there were two larger tables next to our group. One table (I think they were 8 tops) had one couple every single night. I felt bad for them. The other table had one to two couples every night, just not necessarily the same couples. Never were either table full. They would look at our group with three tables all having a wonderful time and I had to wonder if they didn't wish they could have as great a time as we were.

 

A little of topic, but years ago we met a woman from Central America. We were on the Love Boat is very small ship. Can't remember the country. She was traveling with her aunt that she had only met once before the cruise. Aunt had traveled before but this was her first time. The aunt was a witch. Dictating everything she was allowed to do. One night we come out of dinner and she is sitting there crying. I ask her if she is okay. She says she is hungry but her aunt told her that because she was late for dinner she couldn't eat that night. Huh!? I told her I'd handle it. I go to the M'D and tell him the situation. He immediately finds her a seat in the late night sitting.

 

Next we see her eating alone for breakfast with aunt at the next table ignoring her. I told her that she didn't have to be alone that cruisers were darn friendly and a simple "good morning" with a smile with make you many friends on board. Later that night my brother took her to the casino (casino crew informed of aunt) and gave her some money. Bought her some balloons and she was crying telling us she had never been treated so nice. Next the aunt tells her that she has to go through LA and spend 3 days to get home. Um, no, go to the Purser's desk and ask for help. They re-routed her directly home.

[kirian]

Slightly off topic, but I think it's worth sharing...

 

A few years ago, my mom and I were on a Princess ship for a 10 nt cruise. We are very "people friendly" so we signed up for an 8 top because we love meeting other travelers.. The first night, it was just us. The second night another mother-daughter pair showed up as well as a couple who weren't from the States (I forget were they were from.... perhaps Israel). The latter couple were very kind, but sadly, they only came one other night (I think it was a formal night). The mother-daughter pair were two of the most unfriendly people we have ever encountered on a cruise. The mother was complaining before she even sat down (really... something about the air blowing on her). They never showed up again (although unfortunately, we kept running into them other places and they always wanted to sit with us (e.g. trivia, etc)).

 

So, for 8 out of 10 nights, my mom and I sat at this 8 top alone, and you know what... we LOVED it!!!! Our waiters (a husband/wife team) took extra special care of us. We made up stories about our pretend dinner guests (no weren't not crazy... well, not tooooo crazy... we were just having fun); and basically just had a blast.

 

Could we have asked to be moved to another table? Sure! But we were actually having fun!!! On or about day 4-5, a nearby table asked us if we wanted to join them since we were always alone. We very kindly thanked them for their thoughtfulness, but declined their gracious offer.

 

Because of our amazingly friendly and attentive waiter and his wife, our assistant waiter, we ended up having the best dining experience either of us have had in the MDR to date.

 

The moral of the story.... cruising is what you make of it. If there's something you don't like that can be changed, ask for it to be changed ASAP. Don't fret all cruise long or wait until after the cruise to say something. And if there's something you don't like that can't be changed, just go with the flow and make the best of it.

 

Happy Cruising!

Melissa

[OCruisers]

Meeting your new tablemates is sort of like a Blind Date ... some are better than others! :D

LuLu

[SeagoingMom]

Slightly off topic, but I think it's worth sharing...

 

A few years ago, my mom and I were on a Princess ship for a 10 nt cruise. We are very "people friendly" so we signed up for an 8 top because we love meeting other travelers.. The first night, it was just us. The second night another mother-daughter pair showed up as well as a couple who weren't from the States (I forget were they were from.... perhaps Israel). The latter couple were very kind, but sadly, they only came one other night (I think it was a formal night). The mother-daughter pair were two of the most unfriendly people we have ever encountered on a cruise. The mother was complaining before she even sat down (really... something about the air blowing on her). They never showed up again (although unfortunately, we kept running into them other places and they always wanted to sit with us (e.g. trivia, etc)).

 

So, for 8 out of 10 nights, my mom and I sat at this 8 top alone, and you know what... we LOVED it!!!! Our waiters (a husband/wife team) took extra special care of us. We made up stories about our pretend dinner guests (no weren't not crazy... well, not tooooo crazy... we were just having fun); and basically just had a blast.

 

Could we have asked to be moved to another table? Sure! But we were actually having fun!!! On or about day 4-5, a nearby table asked us if we wanted to join them since we were always alone. We very kindly thanked them for their thoughtfulness, but declined their gracious offer.

 

Because of our amazingly friendly and attentive waiter and his wife, our assistant waiter, we ended up having the best dining experience either of us have had in the MDR to date.

 

The moral of the story.... cruising is what you make of it. If there's something you don't like that can be changed, ask for it to be changed ASAP. Don't fret all cruise long or wait until after the cruise to say something. And if there's something you don't like that can't be changed, just go with the flow and make the best of it.

 

Happy Cruising!

Melissa

 

Your story was so interesting because it reminded me of our story on our 25th anniversary HAL cruise.

 

We, too, requested an 8-top, for the same reasons you did. However, when we had our first dinner, we knew there was no way we would enjoy ourselves with the folks at that table, especially for ten dinners! One couple in particular was insufferable (and we were apparently not the only ones to think so, as we later saw that no one else stayed at the table with this one unpleasant couple.)

 

So after dinner that evening we spoke to the maitre d' and requested a change. He told us to come at 8 the next evening and he would have a table for us. When we got there, the headwaiter led us across the dining room to a 2-top, which was OK with us. But there were two problems: the first was that this 2-top was right next to the table we had abandoned! It was simply too embarrassing to think of sitting there in full view of the table we had left! But the second problem actually was a blessing -- the table was already in use! We never figured out how that mistake had been made by the maitre d', but we were very glad it had been. So the waiter brought us back to the maitre d' and he sent us off to another table.

 

This time it was a table for eight, directly in front of the windows with a full view of the wake and the promenade deck. It was heavenly! (It was also within view of the first table, but not awkwardly so -- we could crane our necks to see the other table, but they would have had difficulty spotting us, so we were OK with that.) As the waiter seated us, he asked if we would be OK with having other people seated with us. Because of our first experience, we were a little wary. So we replied that we would be fine with having companions, but we would prefer not having them. In the end, we had none -- for the entire ten-night cruise!

 

DH and I had the most glorious "second honeymoon-style" dining experience on that cruise! The table's location was fabulous, our wait staff was divine, and of course, because there was only the two of us, the wait staff was not rushed and we had lots of time to interact with them, which was one of the highlights of our cruise!

 

And we think the restaurant manager felt pity for us, seeing us all alone at this big table, so he came to spend time with us each evening. He was truly a gem. And in the end, we think that the whole situation led him to recommend us as guests at the captain's table, which was absolutely the best part of our dining experience on that ship or any other! We were "nobodys," believe me -- we had booked a guarantee balcony, it was our first time on the cruise line -- except for it being our 25th anniversary, there was nothing special about us that would have caused us to "deserve" an invitation from the captain. But it was a little like the "upgrade fairy" coming to visit for that one dinner! And we truly believe that if we had stuck with an 8-top, we would not have enjoyed that memorable "upgrade."

 

So we totally agree that if you manage to fall into the right stream, going with the flow can lead to great things!

[Laurie S.]

We had a similar situation on Royal Princess. My friend and I wanted a two-top because we can be rather boisterous and wanted to talk about all the diving we were doing. The first night, no tables were assigned and we were given a two-top.

 

The next night was when assigned seating began and were lead to a 10-top. Huh? Very nice people, but all much older and sedate than us. We wanted the two-top we had been told we would have and saw two empty ones right near by, both by the aft windows. We were switched the next night and were right next to our former table.

 

We were friendly with everyone the whole time and talked with them always when we first sat down. We had a wonderful view eating dinner every night and a lot of fun.

Edited July 21, 2014 by Laurie S.

[TheBeeSea]

What is speaking "American"? I'm dual citizen Canadian/American and some of our closest friends are English. We all speak the same language - don't we? :confused:

 

 

Ummm..well...nearly ?:):):) "two nations divided by a common language" ?

 

From an English perspective:

 

These chips, are fries

This queue, a line

This tap, a faucet

Wardrobe, a closet

Vacation, holiday

Underground, subway

Chemist, a drugstore

Autumn, is fall

A garden, a yard

You see now? It's not hard

[kirian]

Your story was so interesting because it reminded me of our story on our 25th anniversary HAL cruise....

 

And we think the restaurant manager felt pity for us, seeing us all alone at this big table, so he came to spend time with us each evening. He was truly a gem. And in the end, we think that the whole situation led him to recommend us as guests at the captain's table, which was absolutely the best part of our dining experience on that ship or any other! We were "nobodys," believe me -- we had booked a guarantee balcony, it was our first time on the cruise line -- except for it being our 25th anniversary, there was nothing special about us that would have caused us to "deserve" an invitation from the captain. But it was a little like the "upgrade fairy" coming to visit for that one dinner! And we truly believe that if we had stuck with an 8-top, we would not have enjoyed that memorable "upgrade."

 

So we totally agree that if you manage to fall into the right stream, going with the flow can lead to great things!

 

How awesome!!! Thank you for sharing your story. It's so nice to read how something so wonderful can happen from something that started so yucky!

[JanineM]

Ummm..well...nearly ?:):):) "two nations divided by a common language" ?

 

From an English perspective:

 

These chips, are fries

This queue, a line

This tap, a faucet

Wardrobe, a closet

Vacation, holiday

Underground, subway

Chemist, a drugstore

Autumn, is fall

A garden, a yard

You see now? It's not hard

 

Trust me - I understand what you're saying. I am an English ENGLISH speaking Canadian living in the deep south. Try putting "I need my expense cheque before I go on holiday" in an email to your American boss ...

 

I couldn't understand why the poster said they changed TABLES because their table mates didn't speak AMERICAN. THAT was my point.

[dancinman66]

Meeting your new tablemates is sort of like a Blind Date ... some are better than others! :D

 

LuLu

 

 

That's actually the best and simplest description of the whole thread

So true

Thanks for the simplicity

 

 

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[sapete]

Meeting your new tablemates is sort of like a Blind Date ... some are better than others! :D

 

LuLu

 

 

Which it's why it's always a two-top for us!

 

 

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