BillW Question

[pookeysmom]

My son is new to recovery & we had already booked & paid for a cruise.

He was worried about maintaining sobriety on the ship, in a new environment, but I assured him that on every ship we've ever been (13), I've always seen Friends of BillW on the daily list of events.

 

Imagine my surprise when we boarded the Navigator of the Seas & there were no meetings listed the whole week.

 

I asked Guest Services & they said it's not something RC gets involved with, but that usually someone takes it upon him/herself to put a message on the bulletin board in the lobby about a meeting daily at 5:30pm in the chapel.

We checked all week & no meetings, no message, no one in the chapel.

 

Why doesn't RC get involved with promoting or taking an active part in advertising or setting up the meetings when other cruise lines do?

 

Other cruise lines, NCL and Carnival especially that I recall, have it permanently posted on their daily list of activities.

Why not RCI?

 

Very disappointing. I guess when we cruise RC, we'll have to be the people holding the meeting. Even if we just sit in there by ourselves. :(

[ehfl]

Did you post an announcement on the bulletin board? If you don't announce that you would like to meet, there's no way for anyone to know when/where to meet.

 

If you post an announcement and there is no interest, that's not necessarily something the cruise line can control.

[jo24]

First of all, congratulations to your son for being in recovery.

 

I have heard this response a few times recently but have seen the meetings listed in the cruise compass on at least 3 different cruises.

 

I think that it may depend on the ship. Perhaps see if you can contact someone on the ship in advance about arranging meetings and seeing if they are willing to add it to the compass. They may have already been contacted or can put you in contact with someone.

 

I hope that doesn't cause any problems going forward and that your son can continue in his recovery and cruising too :)

[ryano]

I too recall seeing "Friends of Bill W" meetings listed on the Cruise Compass.

Edited September 17, 2014 by ryano

[pookeysmom]

First of all, congratulations to your son for being in recovery.

 

I have heard this response a few times recently but have seen the meetings listed in the cruise compass on at least 3 different cruises.

 

I think that it may depend on the ship. Perhaps see if you can contact someone on the ship in advance about arranging meetings and seeing if they are willing to add it to the compass. They may have already been contacted or can put you in contact with someone.

 

I hope that doesn't cause any problems going forward and that your son can continue in his recovery and cruising too :)

 

Ok, thanks for the info. :)

And thanks everyone for the well wishes for his recovery. He's working very hard at it.

 

I guess it is that ship. Maybe not RC as a whole.

Next time we will definitely be more proactive & set up a meeting ourselves by placing a card on the bulletin board inviting others to join us.

I just got so used to it being a pre-arranged thing, I was thrown off. That & being new to all of this.

 

Thanks again!

[MattInFLL]

Actually, it is RCI as a whole. They made a decision to stop listing times for various groups in the Compasses and moved to the Bulletin Board system. This not only affected Friends of BillW, but the LGBT groups, Red Hat Society, etc.

 

What I have noticed in recent compasses is that they put a heading in that says something like - "for Friends of BillW (etc), please see the community bulletin board located in ...." I have also noticed that when you board, there are almost always notices that the crew puts up week in and week out for these groups.

 

At any rate, whatever the reasons for their decision, it is what happened. I suppose there are still some CD's that list certain meetings in the Compass, but it is definitely not RCI policy anymore.

 

Continued good luck with your son's recovery. And I hope you are able to find or organize a meeting during your cruise.

[xxoocruiser]

My son is new to recovery & we had already booked & paid for a cruise.

He was worried about maintaining sobriety on the ship, in a new environment, but I assured him that on every ship we've ever been (13), I've always seen Friends of BillW on the daily list of events.

 

Imagine my surprise when we boarded the Navigator of the Seas & there were no meetings listed the whole week.

 

I asked Guest Services & they said it's not something RC gets involved with, but that usually someone takes it upon him/herself to put a message on the bulletin board in the lobby about a meeting daily at 5:30pm in the chapel.

We checked all week & no meetings, no message, no one in the chapel.

 

Why doesn't RC get involved with promoting or taking an active part in advertising or setting up the meetings when other cruise lines do?

 

Other cruise lines, NCL and Carnival especially that I recall, have it permanently posted on their daily list of activities.

Why not RCI?

 

Very disappointing. I guess when we cruise RC, we'll have to be the people holding the meeting. Even if we just sit in there by ourselves. :(

 

Congratulations to your Son ! Having a brother that has been in recovery for over 10 years I understand the hard work that a person has to do to keep their sobriety.

 

Though some cruise lines post the time and place of Bill W. meetings in the daily news letter, none of the cruise lines actually lead or sponsor the meetings. All meetings regardless of the cruise lines are self led by those in attendance all the cruise lines do is to provide a place for such meetings. Have been on many cruises that there was never anyone in attendance.

 

RCCL generally does not publish a time in the Daily Compass but every RCCL ship I have been on has always had a notice of Bill W meeting posted on the bulletin stand by Guest Services.

[tgnorton]

I have a family member in recovery and he went to posted meeting locations every day for Friends of Bill and there was never anyone there. It was frustrating for him. Guess it depends on the cruise if anyone shows up -

[pookeysmom]

Thanks everyone!

I turned that Compass inside out looking for small print, some kind of mention of it, and nothing.

And there was nothing on the bulletin board all week.

It's surprising a crew member didn't post anything. You would think there would be at least 1.

I will definitely be more proactive next time.

Even if it's just us sitting in there discussing a "daily reflection" or something.

Thanks again!!

[EmpressofPurple]

Thanks everyone!

I turned that Compass inside out looking for small print, some kind of mention of it, and nothing.

And there was nothing on the bulletin board all week.

It's surprising a crew member didn't post anything. You would think there would be at least 1.

I will definitely be more proactive next time.

Even if it's just us sitting in there discussing a "daily reflection" or something.

Thanks again!!

 

Very surprised to hear there was no note on the bulletin board! I've always seen that on every cruise, and occasionally a listing in the compass (although that us rare)... and yes, on a couple of cruises it is just me sitting and reading my mini travel copy of the big book or the 12 & 12!:)

 

Congrats and welcome to your son. He will find many fellow travelers on the high seas. My favorite cruises are when ship staff attend, as they provide some continuity and leadership...as well as meeting friends in recovery from around the country and around the world, from those new to recovery to those like me who have been happy joyous and free for decades.

 

 

 

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[tanzer22pilot]

I too recall seeing "Friends of Bill W" meetings listed on the Cruise Compass.

 

I went to one of these on an early Oasis of the Seas cruise expecting to meet Captain Bill Wright. Wow, was I disappointed when he did not show and everyone was talking about quitting drinking.

[fishywood]

It's surprising a crew member didn't post anything. You would think there would be at least 1.

 

I don't think any cruiseline would permit a meeting held jointly for passengers and crew.

 

And you don't want something occurring again that I saw on sister-line Celebrity (which has a similar 'bulletin board rather than print in the program' policy): a conference room with a giant hand-lettered "AA MEETING" sign on an easel outside the door presumably put up by the helpful staffer who fielded the request for a meeting room without knowing what the second 'A' actually stands for.

Edited September 19, 2014 by fishywood

[pookeysmom]

Very surprised to hear there was no note on the bulletin board! I've always seen that on every cruise, and occasionally a listing in the compass (although that us rare)... and yes, on a couple of cruises it is just me sitting and reading my mini travel copy of the big book or the 12 & 12!:)

 

Congrats and welcome to your son. He will find many fellow travelers on the high seas. My favorite cruises are when ship staff attend, as they provide some continuity and leadership...as well as meeting friends in recovery from around the country and around the world, from those new to recovery to those like me who have been happy joyous and free for decades.

 

 

 

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Thanks, Denise! It would be great to participate in a larger group, but just making a point to sit there and meditate on the 12 and 12 works too!

[EmpressofPurple]

I don't think any cruiseline would permit a meeting held jointly for passengers and crew.

 

And you don't want something occurring again that I saw on sister-line Celebrity (which has a similar 'bulletin board rather than print in the program' policy): a conference room with a giant hand-lettered "AA MEETING" sign on an easel outside the door presumably put up by the helpful staffer who fielded the request for a meeting room without knowing what the second 'A' actually stands for.

 

Absolutely all are welcome at an open aa meeting. The second "a" is there for a reason. I have made lovely, supportive connections with staff, performers, and guests at friends of bill w gatherings over the years. As noted in my earlier post, it's even better when someone onboard attends, as they may have real meeting materials, rather than just whatever the cruisers that week have brought on board with them. And... nothing wrong with a sign that says "aa meeting" - saves a lot of confusion over people wondering who this bill w is!! :-)

 

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[Yorkvillain]

My son is new to recovery & we had already booked & paid for a cruise.

He was worried about maintaining sobriety on the ship, in a new environment, but I assured him that on every ship we've ever been (13), I've always seen Friends of BillW on the daily list of events.

 

Imagine my surprise when we boarded the Navigator of the Seas & there were no meetings listed the whole week.

 

I asked Guest Services & they said it's not something RC gets involved with, but that usually someone takes it upon him/herself to put a message on the bulletin board in the lobby about a meeting daily at 5:30pm in the chapel.

We checked all week & no meetings, no message, no one in the chapel.

 

Why doesn't RC get involved with promoting or taking an active part in advertising or setting up the meetings when other cruise lines do?

 

Other cruise lines, NCL and Carnival especially that I recall, have it permanently posted on their daily list of activities.

Why not RCI?

 

Very disappointing. I guess when we cruise RC, we'll have to be the people holding the meeting. Even if we just sit in there by ourselves. :(

 

Congrats to you and your son. Here's to many fun-filled cruises for the both of you.

[pookeysmom]

Thanks, everyone!

 

Question...what's the difference between an open meeting & a closed meeting?

And how do you tell the difference when you go to a meeting?

Are they all assumed to be closed unless noted otherwise?

 

I thought all were welcome, but the other day I attended a new meeting with my son & when I shared & the "leader" realized I'm not the addict but the co-dependent, she got her feathers ruffled and kept repeating "treat this as an open meeting, not a closed. We have a non-alcoholic here."

It made me feel awkward & unwelcome.

Of course I don't want to get in anyone's way or be where I shouldn't, but my son's been going to meetings for months & didn't know what she was talking about.

[pookeysmom]

Absolutely all are welcome at an open aa meeting. The second "a" is there for a reason. I have made lovely, supportive connections with staff, performers, and guests at friends of bill w gatherings over the years. As noted in my earlier post, it's even better when someone onboard attends, as they may have real meeting materials, rather than just whatever the cruisers that week have brought on board with them. And... nothing wrong with a sign that says "aa meeting" - saves a lot of confusion over people wondering who this bill w is!! :-)

 

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HaHa! I used to wonder the same thing...who's this Bill & why does he have so many friends on board? Man he cruises a lot, he's on this ship too!

LOL!

[Aislinncursala]

Hi:

On every one of my fifteen cruises I have gone to Bill W meetings. Each cruise line handles it differently.

 

On my recent B2B Carnival Liberty cruises in August when I boarded there was no meeting listed for that day or the next, I immediately contacted the Customer Service Desk and asked to speak to the Cruise Director and communicated my dismay. It was listed on the second full day program. However I had to do this again for the next cruise. I never had to do this on my previous seven Carnival cruises.

 

On Royal Caribbean they have a bulletin board beside the Coffee Bar where you list all meetings you want to have. I ask the Cruise Director what room/space is available for usually 5 to 6pm and then list that on this bulletin board. Other groups from Veterans to Friends of Dorothy to Red Hats to Knitters list their meetings on the bulletin board. I have suspected that since RC is now charging for announcements of birthdays & anniversaries on their daily calendar they have cleared the space of these meetings. However I have seen it listed to check the bulletin board beside the Coffee Bar for meeting announcements.

 

Princess had them listed on their daily schedule of activities.

 

Again being listed does not mean anyone shows up. My husband and I go to support those having difficulties with all the alcohol being pushed onboard. More people attend the longer the cruise and also on sea days rather than port days.

 

All the best to your son.

[TripleU]

I was just on the Majesty last month. There isn't a specific meeting listed, but it is addressed on the Compass. I had no idea what it was until I read this thread. Here's a photo of my Compass. It's the first item on the upper left.

 

I wish your son the best in his recovery.

 

 

 

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[pookeysmom]

Good information everyone. Thank you so much for the info and the well wishes!

 

I checked the bulletin board in front of guest services and didn't see another one anywhere else on Navigator, but I will definitely be more proactive & it's a great idea to call the cruise director for info.

 

Thanks!!

[xxoocruiser]

Thanks, everyone!

 

Question...what's the difference between an open meeting & a closed meeting?

And how do you tell the difference when you go to a meeting?

Are they all assumed to be closed unless noted otherwise?

 

I thought all were welcome, but the other day I attended a new meeting with my son & when I shared & the "leader" realized I'm not the addict but the co-dependent, she got her feathers ruffled and kept repeating "treat this as an open meeting, not a closed. We have a non-alcoholic here."

It made me feel awkward & unwelcome.

Of course I don't want to get in anyone's way or be where I shouldn't, but my son's been going to meetings for months & didn't know what she was talking about.

 

Having a brother that's been in recovery for over 10 years, AA meetings generally are closed to family members. Reason being that family members regardless of how supportive really aren't privy to hearing what the individuals have to say . Additionally there's the issue of anonymity allowing the members to speak freely thus the reason it's called Alcoholic Anonymous. Though your son might not have an issue with you attending ,your attendance violates the issue of anonymity with regards to all others in attendance. . There's a lot that is said that is very hard core and only another person fighting the same demon understands and can provide support/assistance. Forgive me for being blunt but by you attending the process couldn't take place and perhaps someone who really needed help/support that night was not able to properly receive it from their peers.

 

The appropriate meeting for family members is an Al-Anon Family Group meeting. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

Edited September 22, 2014 by xxoocruiser

[pookeysmom]

Having a brother that's been in recovery for over 10 years, AA meetings generally are closed to family members. Reason being that family members regardless of how supportive really aren't privy to hearing what the individuals have to say . Additionally there's the issue of anonymity allowing the members to speak freely thus the reason it's called Alcoholic Anonymous. Though your son might not have an issue with you attending ,your attendance violates the issue of anonymity with regards to all others in attendance. . There's a lot that is said that is very hard core and only another person fighting the same demon understands and can provide support/assistance. Forgive me for being blunt but by you attending the process couldn't take place and perhaps someone who really needed help/support that night was not able to properly receive it from their peers.

 

The appropriate meeting for family members is an Al-Anon Family Group meeting. http://www.al-anon.alateen.org/local-meetings

 

Ok, thanks for the info. That makes sense.

[xxoocruiser]

Ok, thanks for the info. That makes sense.

 

Have faith in the program. Be patient and I know you're being supportive. If this is your son's first time working on recovery know that it can be rocky road of pitfalls. Just continue to love him unconditionally. It took many years of falling off the wagon to coin a phrase and many attempts at working the program before my brother gained a hold on sobriety.

 

My brother learned through the process that he had to make a life long commitment and to make his illness ( yes it's an illness) his life's work. As a result he made a personal choice to walk away from a lucrative career went back to school got his masters as well as other related credentials and works on keeping sober by now being a Substance Abuse Counselor. He is well respected in the field because he has walked and continues to walk the path of his clients. This path isn't for everyone but it's the path that worked best for my brother. It was a long hard journey but he's very happy today. I share this story because I hope if gives you strength. Please feel free to share this with your son.

[pookeysmom]

Have faith in the program. Be patient and I know you're being supportive. If this is your son's first time working on recovery know that it can be rocky road of pitfalls. Just continue to love him unconditionally. It took many years of falling off the wagon to coin a phrase and many attempts at working the program before my brother gained a hold on sobriety.

 

My brother learned through the process that he had to make a life long commitment and to make his illness ( yes it's an illness) his life's work. As a result he made a personal choice to walk away from a lucrative career went back to school got his masters as well as other related credentials and works on keeping sober by now being a Substance Abuse Counselor. He is well respected in the field because he has walked and continues to walk the path of his clients. This path isn't for everyone but it's the path that worked best for my brother. It was a long hard journey but he's very happy today. I share this story because I hope if gives you strength. Please feel free to share this with your son.

 

Thanks so much for sharing this. I will pass it on to my son.

He's very new to recovery. 30 days today (for the 2nd time), and he's only 15 years old. So we've all got some growing to do in our own ways and as a family.

So far so good.

He's so inspired by his counselor that it's become his goal to become one as well.

Thanks again :D

[Badgertr]

You might want to post on the roll call for your interest. You may find others that may join you and maybe have a plan before hand. All the best wishes for your family.

 

 

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