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Island to Alaska with Pictures (part 2)

cworld

By cworld,
in Princess Cruises

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zachnlucy

zachnlucy

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Karla, thanks to you, I now have a new online addiction (as if I needed one), Dis Boards. Fantastic wealth of information! Thanks again.

 

Carl, I received your email. Thank you too. I'll be back in touch with both of ya after I read more on that board than even Island to Alaska can match! :D

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cworld

cworld

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Here we go. Crank up the volume. It’s gonna be big. It’s gonna be loud. Only Hank Williams Jr. can handle this one.

 

“Are you ready for some humor?”

“A Sunday night party?

“Carl is back and it time to get some writing started.”

“The Island is the set, and the crew is out of sight”

“And all my rowdy friends are here for some Island to Alaska with Pictures (Part 2)”

 

Somehow it just doesn’t quite work.

 

Oh, well. Yes I’m back. The world is once again spinning on its axis. The sun is rising in the east and setting in the west. (That’s right isn’t it?) Life as we know it has resumed. (I see you didn’t leave the big head in Florida.)

 

Let’s Rock.

 

When we left our starving, hot, sweaty, semi-exhausted warriors, they had just finished saying goodbye to Ms. sultry and her overheated motorcoach after a full day of LLLLL (lumbering leviathans that lollygag lugubriously as they go locomoting by, for those of you that have bad memories… yes, I mean you tee) hunting, and were proceeding to the Original Alaska Salmon Bake.

 

Let me tell you, this was one of the things Mrs. c and I had highlighted on our agenda from the day we started planning this trip. Just listen to the description “Enjoy wild Alaska salmon grilled over an alderwood fire, barbecued ribs and chicken, along with a variety of delicious side dishes. Roast marshmallows over a crackling fire”. How could anyone possibly mess up salmon, ribs, and chicken? We were pumped. We were ready. Let’s eat, and eat, and eat, and eat.

 

We walked in to the area where they were serving the Original Alaska Salmon Bake. The area reminded me of something out of the Walton’s. (Wonder why?) Glad you asked. On my first trip to Florida I was watching TV with my mom when an episode of the Walton’s came on where they were having a picnic. It reminded me of the Salmon bake area. There was this great big clearing in the middle of a bunch of pine trees. That’s about all the similarity there was between the two, but… (get on with it already)

 

We walked down a path from the parking lot into the clearing. On the right is the Alderwood fire pit, and on the left is the drink stand. Just past that there are the tables where the food is laid out and a bunch of picnic type tables where people are sitting and eating. The only thing missing from the Walton’s are the red checked tablecloths. Oh, boy, this is going to be good.

 

I went right for the drink stand. It was high time for some carbonation. I can’t even remember the last time I had a carbonated drink (seems like it was weeks ago). The only thing available were cans of Coke (maybe it was Pepsi, I can’t remember), but I was so thirsty I didn’t care. I bought one each for me and Mrs. c and went to find her. She had gone to put our stuff down at a table to hold our place while we grabbed some grub. Mmmm.

 

The drill was you started at the alderwood fire pit, where they handed you a plate with a piece of salmon (or 2 if you wanted) on it, and then you proceeded to the mile long tables with the other food, and load up. Yum. I piled on some ribs, (gotta have ribs) some cole slaw (sounded good with ribs) and a piece of cornbread. Good start, not too much on one plate. I could always get more, and I was sure I would.

 

Insert disclaimer here – This following is my opinion. It is only my opinion. I’m not a paid food critic, nor do I play one on Iron Chef America. If you disagree with my opinion you can call my special phone number at 1-800-URW-RONG (Insert disclaimer to disclaimer – if you actually call that number, number 1 you’re stupid, and number 2 you’re on your own. This is satire, and I can’t be responsible for any content that may be offensive at that phone number.) (Did I mention that the school I was at was last week was a management school.)

 

We got our plates, and started to eat… What first? Gotta be the salmon. So try the salmon. I’m not much of a salmon connoisseur, I have never really eaten salmon much, I did enjoy the salmon paste at the fish murdering place, but this… YUCK!!! I will probably never eat salmon again. I don’t know if it was the sauce, or the Alderwood, or what, but this was one of the awfulest things I ever put in my mouth. (Yes, I know awfulest isn’t a real word, but you get my drift.)

 

OK, so the salmon isn’t good, let’s go on to the ribs. How can you mess up ribs? These ribs were small but meaty. They were swimming in a brownish red barbecue (there spelling, not mine) sauce. When I say swimming, I mean swimming. This was not a little barbecue sauce poured on top of some ribs. This was a gallon of barbecue sauce (probably out of a jug) with a few ribs stuck in. So, how was it? Again YUCK!!!!!!!! This had to be the absolute worst barbecue sauce on the planet. It tasted like it was flavored with cigarette butts. It was almost inedible. It was worse than the salmon. I almost spewed (as opposed to spit) it out. Really, it was that bad. Two for two, I’m not so hungry anymore.

 

I did try the cole slaw, it was OK, and the cornbread was fresh, but too sweet. All in all the Original Alaskan Salmon Bake was a pretty big bust. Neither me or Mrs. c found anything we liked at all until…

 

By the way, I’ve seen a lot of supposition about the happenings in however many days on my countdown clock. None of them are close to being accurate. I guess you’ll just have to be Patient.

 

It’s good to be “Back in the saddle again”

 

It’s coming

Are you ready?

It’s gonna be big

Life as we know it will never be the same

Is it really possible?

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camperhawk

camperhawk

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Carl, so great to have you back! Yes Mr. Humility, the world is now right once again. I just got home from my long shift as always and was finally able to read the next chapter of my favorite "novel". I will sleep peacefully tonite, since I got to swear under my breath again, for leaving us hanging!

 

It better be big, both at the salmon bake and next week's event!

 

Patiently reading you again.

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cworld

cworld

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Now we’re officially bummed. Dinner is a dud.

 

AND IT’S ALL PRINCESSES FAULT.

 

They’ve ruined our whole vacation!!

 

Princess is the worst cruise line on earth.

 

I’m never booking with Princess again, and I’d suggest you do the same.

 

This is the worst thing that has ever happened to me in my entire life.

 

There, did I get that about right? Isn’t that what most of the whiners around here (not talking about anybody in this post, but some of the other posts that have reared their ugly heads lately) sound like? Well all I got to say to them is get over it, get a life, get real… and then… eat some dessert.

 

So that’s just what we did. Mrs. c wanted to try the dessert. I decided that I had had enough, and passed. The dessert was a cake with a blueberry topping. I’m not usually too fond of blueberries, so I was going to pass. Then Mrs. c goaded me in to trying a bite of hers. “…and the rockets red glare. The bombs bursting in air…” Oh, my GOODNESS. This stuff was TO DIE FOR. It was great! It was fabulous! And to think I was going to pass it up. Thanks dear. Sometimes you really are amazing.

 

What made it so good wasn’t that it was from some fancy recipe, or that there was some hidden super secret ingredient. It’s just that this simple cake with the blueberry topping was perfect. Light… Airy... Flavorful… Just absolutely divine. I would almost pay money just to go back and get another piece of that great cake. But please don’t make me eat any of that other crap.

 

What a great life lesson, when things are going crummy, and everything in the world seems to be going wrong. Take it Sweet Baby James…

 

When you're down and troubled

And you need a helping hand

And nothing, whoa nothing is going right

Close your eyes and think of me

And soon I will be there

To brighten up even your darkest nights

 

Well maybe I won’t actually be there, but the sentiment is there. When life is giving you a hard time, stop…

 

Eat some dessert.

 

It might just be the best thing about the whole day. (Is that ice cream ready yet?)

 

Sorry it's a little short tonight. But I had to save a little time to work on the big surprise. (And no, OU beating KSU on Saturday probably won't qualify, although I'd be happy.)

 

It’s coming

Are you ready?

It’s gonna be big

Life as we know it will never be the same

Is it really possible?

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tee_wrecks

tee_wrecks

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How bout them sooners? Sometimes a faulty memory can be a blessing though I have nothing to crow about. The CU buffs might have had a better chance against Rita and Katrina instead of the Miami hurricanes. Oh well...I've just finished watching the Broncs put some serious butt whuppin on the Chiefs. They thought they was contendas..but they was just pretendas. (Apologies to Muhammed Ali for the impossibly bad paraphrasing)

 

Welcome back Carl, we've missed you. I am surprised though...any self respecting Okie knows you should NEVER eat barbeque anywhere north of Kansas regardless of how it's spelled. I expect those folks think barbecue sauce is primarily ketchup and a little salt and if you don't know how to smoke meat, smother, no wait, drown it in "sauce" and everything will be okay. And there may be a food easier to cook incorrectly than salmon but I'm not sure what it might be.

 

Just got off the phone with Mrs. Tee who was calling from her business trip to San Diego (monkey business? No, sorry darling, I really didn't mean that. You know I love to poke the bear with a sharp stick sometimes.) Seems the Regal Princess is in port and tied up about 2 blocks from her hotel. Took a lot of willpower to avoid stowing away.

 

Anyway, I just thought I'd check in to say hi and have my memory refreshed. By the way, what is the Sooners' record? I can't seem to remember....I'm off now to finish an essay about my latest photo adventure to the wilds of Colorado for aspen viewing and bacchanalia in Crested Butte.

 

Peace, Out

 

War Rams

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cworld

cworld

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Dinner was over. At least dessert was good. So now it's time to jump on the bus to go back to the IP.

 

But wait, Carl, you didn’t tell us about the part where you…

 

Roast marshmallows over a crackling fire, walk the trail to a waterfall and enjoy the beautiful, relaxed setting.

 

Ooops, I almost forgot. Does anyone remember that stuff. That’s from the Princess website description of our current excursion. I posted it back on, well, it was on, hmmm… seems like just yesterday… hmmm… there it is, on August 14. (I know, it was hard for me to believe too) That was back before that evil fairy (whose name was stricken from this post by the OP because I’m still sore over what she did) stuck her little nose where it didn’t belong and tore out my heart.

 

Insert casual observation here: at this point I went back and looked at the little dribbles I’ve posted over the last month or so to see what I’d said about the Great Alaskan Salmon Bake. While I was reading, I noticed a trend. I haven’t posted very much information since we started (Part 2). Duh. As I read, I wondered (almost out loud) why would anyone still be reading this? What brings them back? You’re certainly not putting out a lot of information. (And it’s all that fairies fault. She messed me up. Really!) What are you doing to these poor people? Write! Get on with the story. Tell them something.

 

Insert semi-sincere apology here - Sorry. There, does that help? Does this mean I’m going to turn over a new leaf and start writing 2,000 word posts every night? (Don’t hold your breath) No. Does that mean anything will truly change? Maybe, maybe not. But I do promise to… no I can’t promise that. Maybe… No, not that either. Oh, well, I’ll try to do better.

 

After dinner, we were ready to leave. We may have seen where you could roast marshmallows, but we weren’t interested. Didn’t see a trail to a waterfall. I think I even read somewhere where we could have seen an abandoned mine. That would have been cool. But we didn’t do any of the above. I attribute that to our poor preparation. I didn’t do my homework. But you know what? If I wasn’t doing this vast post mortem, I wouldn’t have known we missed any of that stuff. We didn’t notice that we missed anything at the time. We were ready to head back to the ship and see if our bag had showed up. (Yes Marilee, were getting ready to talk about the bag.)

 

I’m about to make a heretical statement: (You people that live to plan your vacations to the nth degree, cover your eyes.) Planning may be overrated. There, I said it, revoke my Rodent World super planner credentials, or whatever, but sometimes it’s OK to relax and have fun just doing whatever comes up. Then again…

 

We hopped on the bus for the IP. This was not one of Princess motorcoaches. This was a yellow school bus. It had some extra decorations, but basically it was an everyday, old, 40/45 air conditioning, thinly padded seats, basic school bus. I’m not sure why Princess hauls us around all day in those well appointed motorcoaches, and then lets us come back to the ship in a cheap school bus, but I’m sure they have a reason. Probably has to do with ambience.

 

“Hey Jan, I hear you joined me on the upward bound train.”

 

“Yeah, Jimmy, it’s really cool up here.”

 

“So what did you do?”

 

“I saved the company $10,000.00 this month.”

 

“Howdcha do that?”

 

“What do you know about the Great Alaska Salmon Bake in Juneau?”

 

“Is that the overpriced picnic that has the ribs that they plop in that surplus sauce we pawned off on them 10 years ago?”

 

“Yeah, that’s the one. Did you know that they have their own bus fleet?”

 

“Sure, that’s how we get the dweebs that book that silly excursion back and forth.”

 

“Well did you know that we include that picnic in the Best of Juneau by Land and Sea?”

 

“You gotta be kidding.”

 

“No, really we do. I figured out that if we let the Salmon people bus our dweebs back after the tour, we save bookoo bucks on our bus drivers. Last month alone we saved $10,000.00.”

 

“Did anyone complain about the busses?”

 

“I didn’t hear any, but what I told the higher-ups was that we could pass it off as ambience.”

 

“Ambience?”

 

“Yeah, you know, keeping up the theme. We bus them to an old work camp and feed them crap, then we sit them on a hot, bumpy, crowded, not air conditioned, school bus and bring them back to the ship.”

 

“And we get to charge them an arm and a leg for ‘ambience.’ ”

 

“Now you’re getting the picture.”

 

Note to Princess – Ambience is overrated.

 

The driver was a young Alaskan Indian looking lady. (I’m from Oklahoma. I know what Indians look like.) She gave us some interesting commentary as she drove us back to the ship. (Much better than Ms. sultry) Finally we were back at the ship. Our long day was over. There was nothing else to do but go back to our cabin and go to bed.

 

What?

 

That’s not all?

 

We were going to do what?

 

You’ve gotta be kidding.

 

The only thing I want to do is grab a bite to eat, and go to bed. I know it’s only 7ish, but that’s like 10, or 11, or well, it’s really late, Oklahoma time.

 

OK, OK, Yeah, Yeah, I remember. Whatever… Yeah, I’ll be ready. I know, show time is 8:30. I’ll be ready. But for now…

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cworld

cworld

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My DH, don't you remember that she showed us her daughter and son-in-law on the corner and we all waved at them. She must be OLDER than us--for crying out loud--she has a SON-IN-LAW!!!!!

 

Mmmmm, now that you mention it...

 

Still, she looked pretty young.

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cworld

cworld

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The hits just keep on coming.

 

Welcome back all you great KRuZin fans out there in KruZin land, this is The KRuZin Man here to bring you the rockin’ hits from W K R Z land. WKRZ is the rockinest radio station this side of calm waters. Tonight, The KRuZin Man, here at WKRZ has a rockin’ selection of great oldies that will keep us all a rockin’ on all through the rockin’ night. Here’s a blast from the past to rock you night away from the KruZin man to you.

 

Hey, did you rock and roll, rock on down through my soul? (Or something like that.)

 

(New job prospect: Radio DJ… Whatcha think? OK, maybe not. It’s better if you actually hear me say it. Reading it just doesn’t do it justice. Really.)

 

We reached the ship. No problems with the stair thingy. Went through the honking things and had our bags X-rayed. Mrs. c was hungry (I was too) and wanted to go directly to the Horizon Court and grab some real grub. But I wanted to check on “THE BAG”. Would it finally be here? Would it be the right bag? Would all of our stuff be in “THE BAG”? Who shot J.R.? OK Carl, enough already, did you get the stinkin bag?

 

I don’t know, we decided to get grub first. (And DW, my memory is kinda fuzzy here, if this is not exactly the way it happened it’s OK. It makes for better drama this way.) We went up to the Horizon food court and looked over dinner. Mrs. c picked up a salad or something, and I picked up a dessert thingy, I think. (The memory is already fading, which probably means I’ve taken too long to write this. Ya think?)

 

We sat down for a minute and ate our little snack. Then we headed for the room. It was time to get ready to go to the show. “Tonight in the Universe Lounge Princess Cruises is proudly presenting the inaugural season of “Tribute”.” We were planning to go to the 8:45 show. I figured (quite correctly) that we needed to be early to get a good seat. So we went back to the room and started to get ready.

 

What? I forgot something. What would that be? OH, “THE BAG”, right.

 

(If I were a mean, cruel, vicious, uncaring, insensitive, unfeeling, person, I’d quit right now and never write another word. Well, I am a mean, cruel, vicious, uncaring, insensitive, unfeeling, person, but I'm having too much fun so I’ll keep going.)

 

We got back to the room opened up the door, and “Hey, there’s a message on our phone.” “Must be Dave the No Worries Guy.” Sure enough, it was. Actually there were several messages from Dave, not a good sign. So I listened to them.

 

Message #1

 

“Mr. cworld. Hi, this is Dave, the No Worries Guy, from the customer service office, how are you today? (Get on with it Dave, it’s a message.) Just letting you know that our representative here in Juneau is on his way to the airport to pick up your bag. We should have it on board within the hour. I’ll holler at you again when we actually get the bag on board. I assure you that as soon as we get it, we’ll get it to you. No Worries.”

 

There he goes again, with that No Worries junk. How would he feel if he was walking around on Tuesday in the same pair of jeans he wore on Saturday, and every day in between? Grrrr. What if it was his favorite sweatshirts that were missing for months and months? What if Mr. No Worries pants’ camera batteries were all dead and his chargers were missing, and he was in Alaska for the first time, and he was going on a dog sled ride the next day,? Hmmm? No Worries. Hah. If he could just spend some time in my head (a scary place), he’d change his tune, by golly. There'd be no more of this No Worries c$#*. I’m losing my Patience (there’s that word) with this No Worries stuff. JUST DELIVER MY STINKIN BAG.

 

Message #2

 

“Hi again Mr. cworld, it’s Dave, the No Worries Guy, again. Just wanted to give you an update. Our representative has picked up your bag. If our rep doesn’t run in to any problems he should have it on board within the hour. I wouldn’t worry about a thing if I were you. Let me know if we here at customer service can help you in any other way. No Worries.”

 

Picked up the bag... Problems... Come on Dave, where's my (just about to swear here, but I'll refrain) bag. I WANT MY JEANS. Please.

 

Message #3

 

“Good afternoon again Mr. cworld, How’s your day?” What’s that dear?

 

Shhh. I can’t hear the messages.

 

What?

 

Open my what?

 

What?

 

My eyes. Why?

 

See what?

 

Huh?

 

Oh, yeah it’s “THE BAG.” It’s here. COOL! Jeans, sweatshirts, Jeans, chargers, jeans…

 

Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hallelujah, Hal-le-lu-jah.

 

(I was going to insert some new words to the Hallelujah Chorus here, but after a couple of dismal failures, I decided that I’m not up to rewriting Handel. How can I compare with a guy that’s so famous he can misspell his name and get away with it.)

 

Message #3 (continued)

 

“Please call us at extension # thousand when you’ve checked all of the contents and made sure everything is there. Again we apologise (yes, he said it with the British spelling) for the inconvenience and hope that if you need anything while you’re on board, you’ll give us a ringy ding ding.”

 

So I did. I checked. I called.

 

Yes, everything was fine. I quickly plugged in the chargers and started pumping up the batteries. I gleefully hung up the jeans and sweatshirts. All of the rest of the stuff got put up, and we started to get ready for the show. Boy, it’s good to finally have all of our stuff.

 

Note to Princess – Dear Mr. Princess, We were on one or your ship, the Island Princess, out of Vancouver to Whittier, in May of this year when a major airline, based in Houston who is not in bankruptcy, lost one of our bags as we were traveling to meet our cruise. We, my wife and I, would like to commend your great staff in guest relations, or whatever you call it today, for the way they handled our lost luggage. They were very courteous and helpful in retrieving our missing bag. We know it wasn’t your fault that the bag was missing, but is seemed your staff went out of their way to make our trip was as comfortable as possible until our bag showed up. They offered us money, clothing and just about anything we needed. A special thanks to the officer in charge of the passenger relation’s desk, his first name was David. He gave us regular updates on the progress of our bag. Again, Dave and his staff went above and beyond and they should be commended. Thanks, Mr. and Mrs. cworld.

 

It’s coming

Are you ready?

It’s gonna be big

Life as we know it will never be the same

Is it really possible?

Patience

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Shirleya53

Shirleya53

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The hits just keep on coming.

 

(New job prospect: Radio DJ… Whatcha think? OK, maybe not. It’s better if you actually hear me say it. Reading it just doesn’t do it justice. Really.)

 

Patience

 

Carl, In your job as an air traffic controller, do you talk like that to the pilots of the airplanes? :p

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cworld

cworld

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And now the moment you all have been waiting for (some of you more patiently than others). Here it is. A little birdie tapped me on the shoulder this summer, and told me to advertize this website starting tonight. He said everyone who would read what I was writing would be prime candidate for what they were planning. I'm not really sure what that means, you can decide for yourself. Anyway, I hope you are all able to get something out of whatever it is that the birdie is peddling.

 

What the birdie wanted me to show you.

 

Till later.

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cworld

cworld

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What music to play? What kind of mood fits tonight? Hmmm? Maybe something a little playful, or melancholy. How about a little Scott Joplin “The Entertainer”… Oh come on. It’s that song they played on the movie The Sting. You know the one with the clarinet that goes something like bah bah bah-bah bah bah bah bah. You know. Can’t you hear it? Are y’all deaf? Maybe if I include the words it will help.

 

Now the curtain is going up, the entertainer is taking a bow;

Does his dance step and sings his song,

Even gets all the audience to sing along.

Yes, he knows just what he must do

Knows how to bring down the house when he's through

Snappy patter and jokes, he knows what pleases the folks,

The entertainer, the star of the show.

 

It was in vaudeville and he was on the bill

With all the singers, dancers, acrobats and clowns.

There was a dancing bear, even a dog act there

And a comedian who never let 'em down

But when he came on to do his fav'rite song

He really wowed 'em in the cities and the towns.

They came from near and far to see the vau-de-ville star

The entertainer.

 

Now the curtain is going up ..........

 

There now do we know what I’m talking about. (Don’t answer that?) Anyway this was one of the things running through my empty head as we walked out our door, took 5 steps to the stairs, down one flight, and 10 more steps and stopped. The door to the Universal Lounge was closed. Hmmm, wonder if there are problems? But, we were about 25 minutes early (me figuring we needed to be early to get a good seat), so let’s just go on down to the main entrance and wait. So down another floor we went and waited. In just a couple of minutes, one of the staff came out and told us that the theater would open in 5 minutes. So we waited, and we waited, and we waited, 4 minutes to go, wait, wait, wait, 3 minutes to go… Do you know how long 5 minutes is for a very bored, very tired, adult with ADHD? It’s an eternity. I can almost write a whole nightly ItAwP (P2) posting in 5 minutes when I’m really bored. Finally some other people showed up and gave me something to distract my overactive mind.

 

Right at 5 minutes later, they let us in the theater. There were only about 10 people waiting, so all of us walked in and took some seats. We picked a “LOVE” seat that was right in the middle of the theater. Very nice seats. Close to the front, in the middle, just about right. This is gonna be cool. Not quite as close as we were for the lifeboat drill, but who wants to be on the front row anyway? There was about 15 minutes before show time, and I was thirsty. (Imagine that.) So I got us a couple of Cokes.

 

The Universal Theater is a good setup for smaller more intimate productions. The seating was very comfortable, however the views were a problem for some of the more vertically challenged people that were sitting toward the back of the theater.

 

Note to you people that Randy Newman sang about several years ago… If you go to a show in the Universal Theater, you might want to sit in the first couple of rows downstairs. If you are upstairs… well…. you might have problems unless you are on the very front row, and even then there might be some obstacles. One word of advice, bring (you said one word, and that’s all you get.)

 

We chatted with a couple from somewhere in Texas while we were waiting for the show to start. As we waited I noticed that the theater was filling up. About 10 minutes before show time a lot of people were scrambling for chairs. This place was packed. Every seat was filled. I looked up top, and the same thing was happening up there. It was packed up there too. Good. That means this show will probably be good.

 

So here we are again, Carl is bored. Get this show started or I’m going to have to find something else to occupy my mind, and it will probably get me in trouble. Look at watch. Two more minutes. What was that about the curtains during the cooking show? Computer problems. What does a computer problem have to do with curtains working during a cooking show? But you heard they got the computer fixed, right? OK. Here we go. Time for the show.

 

But not tonight. I want to warn everybody, I start a new job tomorrow, and I’m not sure how much free time I’m going to have for a while. I’ll do my best to keep going, but it may be a little spotty for a while. Thanks again for all of your support, and keep those cards and letters coming.

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