Elderly Mother in Law Joining Us Question!!

[suesings]

Call me old fashioned - but I'd like to think that in todays world of "What is politically correct" - that common sense ON board will prevail.

This lady is 87! She is not a 21 year old squeezing in for suite benefits - she is 87 - and enjoying her twilight years with her family.

God forbid that anyone would deny her that pleasure.

I for one - sincerely hope - you all go on your cruise - and MIL gets to join you in all that you do -

My MIL came with us everywhere - many cruises and so many giggles -

Suddenly - at 83 she was taken with the big C - she refused treatment and passed quietly at home on Christmas morning...

But - we rejoice in the memories we made - those special moments - those Bon Voyages - those late night discos - and her gorgeous dresses..

We were often in suites with MIL across the corridor - but our Butler would order her up breakfast with us on our balcony - always fussing over her - its how it should be....

Whatever is said on the phone and in writing is one thing - sort it out on board - I am sure common sense will prevail .....

Do not deny your MIL her independence, that is sacred to her -

My best wishes to you and yours - hope you all have a wonderful family cruise!

 

Thank you so much for your message. I am so sorry to hear about your MIL's passing. I keep thinking that we must appreciate each chance we get with her as you just never know how much longer she has. She is still in good health but all it takes is one fall (God forbid) :(

Both of my parents are gone and my MIL is the only living grandparent our two daughters have.

 

We do not need anything "for free" My MIL has plenty of money. The suites show sold out and I don't know if she would want a giant room for just her anyhow.

I am just trying to figure how I can not look like the worst DIL in the world. I just told my husband this morning about how we have a suite and these perks that come with it. (I do all the travel booking so he did not even know). He says to me "Well you and the girls can board early and go to Cagney's for lunch and I will stay with my mom and board with her and go to the buffet, etc." CAN YOU IMAGINE ME BOARDING BEFORE MY MIL?? What kind of self-centered loser DIL would I be to get on board with her 2 grand daughters and go eat lunch without her??? I was just asking if there was a way she could be with us without having to sleep on our couch, share a bathroom with our teen daughters or have me sleep on the couch (with my bad back). I know my MIL, and she likes to have her own room and space to relax and get away when she gets tired.

She lives down in San Diego and usually spends Thanksgiving with my SIL so I didn't even think about it when I booked.

 

Is there a way we can just pay for the early boarding for her and lunch Cagney's, early tenders, etc?? She doesn't need the free drinks or free specialty restaurants, she has plenty of money to pay for those things.

 

I know we can forfeit all of our suite perks but that kind of stinks as this is our first big Suite experience. My daughters and I have been so excited about everything that comes with a suite.

 

Thanks for all the ideas.

 

Sue

:)

[suesings]

Sorry but all I can think is MIL.. Hide the life jacket:rolleyes:

 

 

:D:D:D

 

Actually, my MIL is much nicer than my mother was. She lives 460 miles away from us and is not a meddler at all. She is a great mom to my husband and fun to be around. My daughters only get to see her a couple times a year and with her age I want them to spend all the time they can together to build those memories. I always create a scrap book for my MIL when we take a trip together.

[suesings]

We had 5 in an SC. My husband and I in the master BR, my dad (he was about 79) on the couch that converted to a bed and the kids in the small bedroom.

 

The following year we had four of us in the SC and 3 kids in the adjoining mini. The kids that were in the adjoining mini were able to embark and dis-embark with us. (they were all under 21). My husband and the kids didn't really like getting up and going to breakfast at Cagney's so it was just usually me. One day my step son came with me to lunch in Cagney's, they only took one room card, and scanned it to see how many were in the suite.

 

You know, I could see our teen daughters never wanting to have breakfast in Cagney's either. They will probably want to sleep longer than my husband, grandma and I.

 

This might work well if we can find a room that is available! Thanks!!

[pathubia]

I really don't think the boarding would be an issue. At Cagneys breakfast and lunch they only swipe one card, it shows on their screen how many people are in the suite, not who is in it. It got to be a joke with them, I was usually alone at breakfast. And I think I only had lunch in their twice on my last cruise and that was a 10 day cruise.

[suesings]

How is booking an adjoining room under the minors name but for her to use "sacrificing her independence". Sure, they may extend all the privileges but officially they don't have to. So, what if they try that route and are denied? What s hassle that would be. Sounds like the perfect solution to book adjoining cabin in teens name is perfect.

 

I called our pre-concierge and the adjoining mini-suite is already occupied. There is one open 6 doors down. I talked to them for a long time. One option was to upgrade to a 3 bedroom suite for $17K. Way out of our price range. Jeez... how did a fun family trip turn into such a bummer?

 

The concierge did say that she can't imagine they won't let my elderly MIL board early with us. She said given her age, she just can't see anyone preventing her to board.

 

My MIL is talking with her travel agent to so we shall see what happens. I wish this wasn't how our first Suite experience goes.

[conandrob240]

Can you move your cabin to make the 6 doors down one adjoining?

[NLH Arizona]

I am just trying to figure how I can not look like the worst DIL in the world. I just told my husband this morning about how we have a suite and these perks that come with it. (I do all the travel booking so he did not even know). He says to me "Well you and the girls can board early and go to Cagney's for lunch and I will stay with my mom and board with her and go to the buffet, etc." CAN YOU IMAGINE ME BOARDING BEFORE MY MIL?? What kind of self-centered loser DIL would I be to get on board with her 2 grand daughters and go eat lunch without her???

It is an easy fix and I think your husband has the right idea. Instead of just your husband, you can all board together with your MIL as a family and then have lunch together in the buffet or MDR.

[suesings]

Can you move your cabin to make the 6 doors down one adjoining?

 

Not sure if there are two non-suites side by side? Perhaps there is. I didn't think to ask that as I was hoping to keep our Family Suite. How do they accommodate 2 adults and 2 teens in the non-suites? Bunk beds/pull out couch? Our family is very tall (husband 6'3, I am 5'11, teen daughters are 5'10 & 5'10-1/2).

[suesings]

It is an easy fix and I think your husband has the right idea. Instead of just your husband, you can all board together with your MIL as a family and then have lunch together in the buffet or MDR.

 

Yep, live and learn. Don't pay for a suite unless you can use the perks. But since we had no idea she was coming when I booked months ago, it was hard to know we would not be able to use it.

Edited August 26, 2016 by suesings

[NLH Arizona]

Yep, live and learn. Don't pay for a suite when you can use any of the perks.

I'm sure you can use them the rest of the cruise, as your MIL probably isn't going to want to have every breakfast and lunch with you. BTW, your husband sounds like one heck of a son, your MIL is very fortunate.

[pcakes122]

Are you past final payment date? If not, there is always hope that additional suites or the adjoining mini will open up at that time (folks with deposits deciding to cancel at the time of final payment.)

[Samstress]

I would book the mini suite that is available close to you & then worry about all the other 'stuff' later. Do not let this ruin your excitement! I have always found the port check in staff to be very accommodating & I bet you won't have any trouble getting your MIL to board with you.

If breakfast at Cagneys turns out to be an issue...just order breakfast to your suite and have her come there. Trust me...you could order enough food for 10 people to be delivered at a time of your choosing and no one will question it.

I'm not sure how old your children are; but if they're teens maybe they'd like the in suite breakfast so they could sleep in & then you, your hubby & their GM could go to Cagneys. As someone said previously they don't check the names but the numbers.

Most of the time the Butler & the Concierge will go out of their way to make sure your trip is a great one. Hey they want that good tip & NCL wants you back in a Suite.

Enjoy making those memories!

[suesings]

I'm sure you can use them the rest of the cruise, as your MIL probably isn't going to want to have every breakfast and lunch with you. BTW, your husband sounds like one heck of a son, your MIL is very fortunate.

 

He is a good man and a terrific son! I am sure I will be the only one going to Cagney's for breakfast and even that is a maybe. Our teens love the buffets and we can't think of anything to ask the Butler for LOL. The only real perks I can think of is the roominess of the suite and boarding early. Maybe there are other perks we aren't aware of as this is our first NCL cruise. We have been on RCCL, Disney, Carnival and Costa previously. What are all the Suite perks everyone talks about that they don't want non-suite people to utilize?

[suesings]

Are you past final payment date? If not, there is always hope that additional suites or the adjoining mini will open up at that time (folks with deposits deciding to cancel at the time of final payment.)

 

Hi, they just took final payment 4 days ago. Maybe something will open. My MIL is speaking with her travel agent today as well.

 

Thanks, Sue

[suesings]

I would book the mini suite that is available close to you & then worry about all the other 'stuff' later. Do not let this ruin your excitement! I have always found the port check in staff to be very accommodating & I bet you won't have any trouble getting your MIL to board with you.

If breakfast at Cagneys turns out to be an issue...just order breakfast to your suite and have her come there. Trust me...you could order enough food for 10 people to be delivered at a time of your choosing and no one will question it.

I'm not sure how old your children are; but if they're teens maybe they'd like the in suite breakfast so they could sleep in & then you, your hubby & their GM could go to Cagneys. As someone said previously they don't check the names but the numbers.

Most of the time the Butler & the Concierge will go out of their way to make sure your trip is a great one. Hey they want that good tip & NCL wants you back in a Suite.

Enjoy making those memories!

 

Thanks so much! You know, I guess I am showing my age but I am from a time when elderly people went first anyway. We always stand up on the Metro if an elderly person needs a seat, etc. We were raised that way so letting an 87 year old lady board early seems like it should be standard practice actually.

 

Our daughters are 13 and 16 now and I am sure they will want to sleep later than us. I would bet they never go to Cagney's for breakfast or lunch. My MIL does not eat big portions anymore. She is fine with a cup of tea and a piece of toast or fruit for breakfast. It is interesting how elderly people loose much of their appetite. We have never had a Butler so we can't think of anything to ask them for. Won't they be too busy taking care of many cabins?

 

Sue

:)

[NLH Arizona]

He is a good man and a terrific son! I am sure I will be the only one going to Cagney's for breakfast and even that is a maybe. Our teens love the buffets and we can't think of anything to ask the Butler for LOL. The only real perks I can think of is the roominess of the suite and boarding early. Maybe there are other perks we aren't aware of as this is our first NCL cruise. We have been on RCCL, Disney, Carnival and Costa previously. What are all the Suite perks everyone talks about that they don't want non-suite people to utilize?

I think the only ones that folks have an issue with non-suite folks using is the priority board and breakfast and lunch in Cagney's and the use of The Haven areas, if one is on a ship with a Haven. I understand that folks want their family to be with them even though they are not in a suite, but If you think about it, what if everyone brought 1 or 2 non-suite guests to use these perks. I personally pay a upgrade amount to travel in a suite and would be ticked off if I couldn't get a seat in Cagney's for breakfast or lunch because others brought non-suite guests. IMHO, If the cruise line makes an exception for one passengers, then why shouldn't they make an exception for every other suite passenger that wants to bring guests.

 

I'm with you, even though I sail solo, I love an aft penthouse for the extra room.

 

Some of the perks are: You don't have to pay for room service, which would be a great alternative for your family. You don't pay the 18% gratuity on the SDP or UBP, even though I always tip cash even though they say the gratuities are included. You will get treats everyday and you can request whatever you would like, they have great oatmeal raisin cookies. You'll get a bowl of fruit. You will get a bottle of sparkling wine. The Concierge will make dinner reservations for you. Luxury bath products. I'm sure there are others, but this is all I can remember.

Edited August 27, 2016 by NLH Arizona

[hawkeyetlse]

In case you were considering the idea I mentioned above (about having your MIL booked in two different cabins), the following thread might interest you:

Can 1 person have/pay for 2 cabins?

 

The main things that people seem to care about keeping strictly, exclusively for suite guests are Haven access (not relevant in your case), and breakfast/lunch in the suite restaurant. [edit: NLH just wrote the exact same thing! :D] The other stuff, like priority boarding, tendering, seating in the theater… if your MIL happens to go along with you, right or wrong I really don't think anyone will say anything. And your MIL is free to spend as much time as she wants as your guest in your suite, gulping down all the Nespresso and eating all the food the butler brings. :)

 

So as long as you can figure out something for the breakfast/lunch issue, I don't think it will be the major faux pas/disaster you are imagining if your MIL ends up in a regular stateroom without the suite perks.

Edited August 27, 2016 by hawkeyetlse

[suesings]

I think the only ones that folks have an issue with non-suite folks using is the priority board and breakfast and lunch in Cagney's and the use of The Haven areas, if one is on a ship with a Haven. I understand that folks want their family to be with them even though they are not in a suite, but If you think about it, what if everyone brought 1 or 2 non-suite guests to use these perks. I personally pay a upgrade amount to travel in a suite and would be ticked off if I couldn't get a seat in Cagney's for breakfast or lunch because others brought non-suite guests. IMHO, If the cruise line makes an exception for one passengers, then why shouldn't they make an exception for every other suite passenger that wants to bring guests.

 

I'm with you, even though I sail solo, I love an aft penthouse for the extra room.

 

Some of the perks are: You don't have to pay for room service, which would be a great alternative for your family. You don't pay the 18% gratuity on the SDP or UBP, even though I always tip cash even though they say the gratuities are included. You will get treats everyday and you can request whatever you would like, they have great oatmeal raisin cookies. You'll get a bowl of fruit. You will get a bottle of sparkling wine. The Concierge will make dinner reservations for you. Luxury bath products. I'm sure there are others, but this is all I can remember.

 

Oh wow, thanks so much for the list. I had no idea LOL! Is Cagney's really that great and crowded? I looked at the lunch menu and it looked pretty bland and it looked like it was the same menu the whole time? It must be really nice if people are clamoring to go and trying to bring non suite members. My MIL doesn't eat much anymore (maybe a slice of toast and cup of tea for breakfast) so not really a huge draw to go there daily. I totally get why people don't want non-Haven people in the Haven. That place looks so tiny and it would be cramped and uncomfortable with extra people. The concierge lady I spoke to today acted like an 87 year old lady boarding early was common courtesy given her age so not sure the only issue I am worried about will be an issue at all? I can do without Cagney's for lunch as the menu doesn't look that great anyway.

[suesings]

In case you were considering the idea I mentioned above (about having your MIL booked in two different cabins), the following thread might interest you:

Can 1 person have/pay for 2 cabins?

 

The main things that people seem to care about keeping strictly, exclusively for suite guests are Haven access (not relevant in your case), and breakfast/lunch in the suite restaurant. [edit: NLH just wrote the exact same thing! :D] The other stuff, like priority boarding, tendering, seating in the theater… if your MIL happens to go along with you, right or wrong I really don't think anyone will say anything. And your MIL is free to spend as much time as she wants as your guest in your suite, gulping down all the Nespresso and eating all the food the butler brings. :)

 

So as long as you can figure out something for the breakfast/lunch issue, I don't think it will be the major faux pas/disaster you are imagining if your MIL ends up in a regular stateroom without the suite perks.

 

Thank you! I totally get why people don't want others in the Haven. That would totally bug me. Have you been to Cagney's. Is it that great? I feel like I would have to beg my daughters and husband to get up and go to breakfast there with me LOL. And there is no way they would go there for lunch after that first day. Someone just said we can order breakfast in our suite so wouldn't that be better or is Cagney's breakfast way better? My MIL has maybe a slice of toast or piece of fruit for breakfast and can order tea for her room so I don't think she is going be looking to steal food from us LOL :D:D:D

 

Suites get priority seating for the shows? I didn't know that either! Our teens probably won't want to see the shows so we will never be using our 4 "paid for" spaces anyway. We will be using WAY less of what we have paid for.

[suesings]

 

Some of the perks are: You don't pay the 18% gratuity on the SDP or UBP, even though I always tip cash even though they say the gratuities are included.

 

What does SDP mean? I know UBP is the Beverage Plan. Do you mean you give the bartender a tip for each drink you order like we would do at any regular home town bar? I didn't realize we didn't pay the 18% gratuity but was planning on bringing small bills for tipping for drinks anyway as I would feel weird not giving a bartender a tip for a nice drink!

 

Sue

:)

[NLH Arizona]

Oh wow, thanks so much for the list. I had no idea LOL! Is Cagney's really that great and crowded? I looked at the lunch menu and it looked pretty bland and it looked like it was the same menu the whole time? It must be really nice if people are clamoring to go and trying to bring non suite members. My MIL doesn't eat much anymore (maybe a slice of toast and cup of tea for breakfast) so not really a huge draw to go there daily. I totally get why people don't want non-Haven people in the Haven. That place looks so tiny and it would be cramped and uncomfortable with extra people. The concierge lady I spoke to today acted like an 87 year old lady boarding early was common courtesy given her age so not sure the only issue I am worried about will be an issue at all? I can do without Cagney's for lunch as the menu doesn't look that great anyway.

It can get crowded at certain times, especially on embarkation and disembarkation and port days. The menu doesn't change, so I don't go everyday. I wouldn't say it is that nice as far as I'm concerned, but it is convenient and away from the crowds and that is the big draw in my opinion. As far as clamoring to go, I'm always surprised how many folks post on here asking if they can bring non-suite guests. NCL does have an accessible cruising department where folks who need early boarding can call and they will arrange it for them and that could be what the Concierge lady was speaking about as a common courtesy. Here is that number: 866-787-4955.

 

One thing you have to realize is that your MIL's key card will not be in the suite priority check in area (not sure if you can pre-arrange it), so she would probably have to check in with the masses, even if she is allowed to board with you and the other suite passengers, and then go to the suite lounge.

[NLH Arizona]

What does SDP mean? I know UBP is the Beverage Plan. Do you mean you give the bartender a tip for each drink you order like we would do at any regular home town bar? I didn't realize we didn't pay the 18% gratuity but was planning on bringing small bills for tipping for drinks anyway as I would feel weird not giving a bartender a tip for a nice drink!

 

Sue

:)

Specialty Dining Package. I tip the beverage server (usually don't go to a bar to get my drinks) and the specialty dining server, but one really doesn't have to as it is included for suite guests. Edited August 27, 2016 by NLH Arizona

[suesings]

It can get crowded at certain times, especially on embarkation and disembarkation and port days. The menu doesn't change, so I don't go everyday. I wouldn't say it is that nice as far as I'm concerned, but it is convenient and away from the crowds and that is the big draw in my opinion. As far as clamoring to go, I'm always surprised how many folks post on here asking if they can bring non-suite guests. NCL does have an accessible cruising department where folks who need early boarding can call and they will arrange it for them and that could be what the Concierge lady was speaking about as a common courtesy. Here is that number: 866-787-4955.

 

One thing you have to realize is that your MIL's key card will not be in the suite priority check in area (not sure if you can pre-arrange it), so she would probably have to check in with the masses, even if she is allowed to board with you and the other suite passengers, and then go to the suite lounge.

 

Okay thanks so much for the number. Good to know. Maybe my MIL's travel agent can get her on the early checkin list so she doesn't have to stand so long. Her travel agent seems to work with a lot of elderly people.

[suesings]

Specialty Dining Package. I tip the beverage server (usually don't go to a bar to get my drinks) and the specialty dining server, but one really doesn't have to as it is included for suite guests.

 

Okay Specialty Dining Package! Got it. You seem to know a lot about NCL so question for you! What are your favorite SDP restaurants?? Which ones would you not miss and why? Thank you!!!

 

Sue

:)

[17cruisesnsl]

My mom is 87 and we were blessed, after a 3 year break, to cruise on the Escape in February in a mini-suite and on the BA in June in the Haven. I don't know how mobile your MIL is but you may want to consider wheelchair assistance boarding and disembarking.

 

While it provides priority boarding, that is not the reason - we had that with CAS or the Haven -- the reason is, it can be a lot of walking all at once and people are excited, especially those running for Vibe passes --,an elderly person could easily lose balance and be hurt.

 

The run for Vibe on our February cruise was crazy - mom initially resisted the wheelchair assist, then admitted she was happy for it because of the crowds, the long walks and the wait through customs. It would have been too much standing. On the ship, you can always walk a bit, then find a seat. That's not possible boarding or disembarking.

 

Enjoy your cruise