Long, Detailed Allure August 21-28 review

[constable145]

Some of you may have followed my earlier thread http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2392797

Some of you may not. It is long and detailed. I am a discerning, but forgiving and understanding reviewer.

 

About my wife and I. She’s 29. I’m 34. Both gainfully employed Canadians who hadn’t had a chance to cruise since Alaska on the Radiance in 2013- These little things called newborns realign your priorities ( I’m not complaining, honest). My wife and I were celebrating our upcoming 10th anniversary ( 5 years for her, 5 years for me.. 5+5=10). We decided to splurge and make our maiden voyage into the Royal Suite Class ( Grand Suite 7254, Sky Class- more on this later). I feel I may have created a monster. She says she’s addicted to Suites ( as demonstrated by our SKY LOFT next year on the Harmony) but I could swear in a inside studio cabin…honestly. This was also our first time away from our Toddler for more than a few nights together.

We’re in the Golden Horseshoe (I lied to most of you on the cruise when I said I’m from ‘Toronto’ but it is much easier to explain). We got a great deal on flights out of Detroit ( 425 CDN/325 USD roundtrip total for the 2 of us) so it was worth the 3 hour drive. We usually fly out of Buffalo or Toronto Pearson. We dropped off our little one and pet polar bear and we were off to Detroit. (Many ‘Murican folks were shocked to hear that the temperature in Canada was a few degrees warmer than it was in Fort Lauderdale on the day we flew)

Our flight was seamless. I had got a great deal on the Renaissance Cruise port (165 Canadian) months ago. It was clean and comfortable. We took a cab to the Cheesecake factory. Fancy. Gourmet. I know but us Canadians are deprived from having one, so it was a nice treat. Plus, any place that makes mixes peanut butter and cheesecake is doing something right. Since they were doing Reno’s at the hotel, they comped the breakfast buffet. Good thing too. It sucked. I’m glad I didn’t pay for it. By now, it was 1015am Sunday morning. Time for a cab to the port.

We arrived at Port Everglades around 1030am. We went to the super fancy Suites check-in. For some reason, the shoreside folks didn’t have a record of my drink package purchase. My card did have the Coca-cola logo on it though and since I would rather die of thirst than drink pepsi, I though that was cool. We went up to the Suites waiting area. We were on board shortly after 11am… A whopping 10 minutes before Steerage class.

My wife and I had a near domestic. Her order of priorities was 1. Park café. 2. Maitre d 3. Drink package investigation. This was unacceptable. I needed alcohol before roast beef. So I went to the beverage hospitality desk on the Royal Promeande. They checked the list. Saw the ultimate package beside my name and promptly affixed a sticker to my pretty purple seapass card. It was at this time my wife whipped out her equally pretty seapass card and ordered up the same package. Cue domestic number 2. My wife isn’t a drinker but I figured what the hell.. She’s paying for it, and she’ll wake up hung over on day 2 and regret her purchase. More on drink packages in a bit.

 

A bit more about us. We like the MDR. Shocking, right? I had very little desire to try the Coastal Kitchen. I’m kinda picky… I like red meat, chicken, and pork. If it swims, I don’t eat it. Plus, we like the personal connection you get with the MDR. Plus, I dislike both Mediterranean and Californian cooking so I failed to see what good could come out of those two having a baby.

[constable145]

Night one in the MDR was great. Prime rib cooked to order. It was cooked perfectly. Our server was Camille. She’s from Jamaica. She did a great job. She also displayed a very decent wine knowledge to help my non-drinker wife find a wine that tasted the least like wine. Cleiton was her assistant. He was also great. Even though we prepaid gratuities, we left them extra at the end.

We went to the Comedy show. It was great. I have an incredibly inappropriate, non-politically correct sense of humour so it was right up my alley. I like the intimacy of Comedy live. I posted pictures of the cruise company in my original thread and the names of the Comedians are in there. I’m too lazy to look them up now.

Day two we attended the Top Tier party. A lot of people wearing name tags. I thought Royal had changed their name tag design. Nope. Pinnacle club members. I told my wife if I ever get to Pinnacle club, the name tag thing ain’t happening. They did a nice diving show for us. The rest of the day, I sat around drinking my face off until it was time to get ready for formal night. I donned my freshly pressed suit ( another nice suite perk) and went to dinner. I had the filet of beef. Again ,excellent. The strawberry cheesecake was great. The lemon meringue pie was the tarts you can sometimes get at Park Café with some meringue thrown on top. Tasty, but a let down.

Day 3. Labadee. We enjoy Labadee. We hadn’t been in a few years so we were looking forward to it. A week prior, the Concierge sent us an email. This email ended up costing me 383 bucks before my wife decided she wanted a cabana. She can’t deal with the sun for very long. I lobbied for a palm tree and umbrella. Cue domestic number 3. I bit my tongue. We had a beach cabana. To me, they aren’t worth the exorbitant prices they charge. The barefoot beach BBQ was AWFUL. I was looking forward to it. We were very disappointed. So we went back aboard and went to the Windjammer. My disappointment didn’t end there so it was off to the Park Café. Red meat is a great cure for my sadness. A kummelweck, 3 cheese panini and watered down American beer and I was happy. Back to the island for more labadoozies. We went back on board early to shower up and head to the helipad. I was excited for 2 reasons. 1. I’d never been on an Oasis class bow before and 2. The last time I was at on the bow of a ship was the Radiance in Alaska and a gust of wind cost me a pair of Ray Bans polarized shades, so I was hoping to see if I can hold onto my Oakley’s this time. My sun glasses made it through, white shirts glad-handed us, I expressed my dislike of the Windjammer to some white shirt with Restaurant in his title, and drank a few glasses of bubbly. I think I had chicken cordon bleu for dinner . I know I had wine. The chicken wasn’t bad.

 

Day 4. Middle of no where Jamaica. It had been 5 years since our honeymoon cruise when we did the Dunns river falls. We did them again. We booked them through the ship once we boarded. We booked the “ Dunn’s river falls Transfer Only”. I dislike Caribbean bus rides. I dislike the fact the port is now an hour from the water falls. But climbing the falls was worth it. The Tour time was supposed to be 5 hours. We were supposed to be back on board by 4pm. This tour was provided by The Bamboo Beach Club. Our guide was great. She told us to meet back at 2pm. Our group took too long to climb the falls. We were late. I figured we’d skip the second part of our excursion where we went to lunch because we had to be back by 4pm, right? WRONG. It was at this time where I realized the stop at Dunns River Falls was simply th ploy to get you to go to the Bamboo Beach club. Their menu had 3 options. It wasn’t cheap. We were supposed to be there for 30 minutes. We were there 75. We had a 90 minute drive back to the ship in good traffic. It was now 430pm. All aboard was 6pm… I was getting tired of their “ no problem mon “ attitude. We got back on board at 6:02pm. Way too close for my comfort level. Now, I’m not exactly the nicest person. I’ve spent many an hour giggling at Youtube videos of Pier Runners… I was worried karma was going to bite me on the ass. Crisis averted. Rum helped me calm down once back on board.

 

Dinner tonight was at Chops. Now, I love me some steak. I enjoy very good steak. I go to my butcher and get ribeyes when I want steak. We had a voucher from our travel agent. We have always enjoyed Chops – the entire meal. Apps, Entrees, Dessert so we opted for Chops instead of Giovannis. ( yes I know they apparently have the best steak at dinner). We had the bacon for a starter to share. It was great. As was the French onion soup and shrimp cocktail. My wife got the Maine Lobster. She loved it. I got the dry aged New York. This steak is not a steak that is worth what would have been a 61 dollar dining experience. I’ve had dry aged NY steak in some steak houses before and this fell way, way short of my expectations. Not too worry, we still had the mudpie to look forward too, right? Apparently not. This dessert is nowhere near the light and fluffy nearly orgasm inducing chocolate deliciousness it had been on my previous 5 trips to Chops. Instead it was thick and dense. It tasted like my elementary school report cards used to read.

 

Day 5. A fun day at sea. I went to the spa. First time ever on a ship. It was a nice indulgence. I got the salon sampler. Scalp massage, neck/shoulder massage, foot massage for 99 bucks plus 18%. The spa is beautiful. And HUGE! I had no idea. Anyway, after that it was off to get more drinks and watch people make fools of themselves during the men’s international bellyflop contest. I love it when stupidity translates to entertainment. After that, I have no idea what I did. Most likely eat somewhere, drink somewhere and nap somewhere. All were very enjoyable, I’m sure. Formal night. Dinner was good. Prime Rib. Again, cooked to order. Earlier, we had mentioned that it was our anniversary. Our server and her entourage brought out a bread pudding with a candle and sang “ Happy Versary”. It was a nice gesture. The bread pudding sucked, but it’s the thought that counts

[constable145]

Day 6. Cozumel. We booked Isla Passion by Twister. If you go to Cozumel, and you like to go fast. And you like beautiful beaches. And you don’t suffer from the myriad of health conditions that prohibit your participation… BOOK THIS TOUR!!! A jet boat picks you up at the pier. They go really fast and do some daring 360 turns on your way to Isla Passion, one of the most beautiful beaches I’ve ever been to. Once at the island, it’s all inclusive. The water is beautiful. There are water trampolines and hammocks in the water. You take the same boat ride back. One of my favourite tours ever. Do it. You’ll thank me later.

 

Dinner tonight was our inaugural trip to the Coastal Kitchen. Wife had rack of lamb . It was good. I had the Beef Tenderloin. It was INCREDIBLE. Dinner in the Coastal Kitchen was so good, wifey and I had the exact same meal the following night.

 

Day 7. Bittersweet. End of a great cruise, but I get to go home and see my kid. Hopefully she missed me. Only time will tell. I did a bunch of stuff today. The usual. Ate. Drank. Walked around. I tried my best to take the stair to fend off the excess calories. We packed, I monitored Hurricane Gaston with great interest. We had dinner, wife went to bed, I went to take more pictures of the boat. I had a milk shake from Cups and Scoops. Way too much money. 5.25 for 16 oz. Tasty but it should be for that price.

 

So now that I’ve put more effort into this review than I ever did in College, here are some general observations

- Shows- Ocean Aria, Ice Games, Comedy shows- very good. Didn’t see Mama Mia- too damned long. Blue Planet we skipped too. Saw it on the last cruise. I still don’t understand the plots of these shows, but it is fun to watch people dump and dive and bounce.

- Tim Connor was the CD. Now, I’m not a real CD guy. I don’t care who the CD is . I think Richard Spacey was great. I think Ken Rush is pompous. I have a good time regardless of who has the microphone on a cruise. That said, Tim was pretty funny. He did a great job during the Love and Marriage and Quest

- Captain was a fellow Canuck- Ron Holmes. Seemed like a funny guy. I found it funny that someone from Winnipeg is now the captain of a cruise ship…. Winnipeg isn’t exactly a Coastal town.. I did like how the Allure of the Seas Orchestra used the old school Hockey Night in Canada theme for his intro

- Drink packages- I got the ultimate. I got it because it was cheaper after the 20% off sale then the premium package I originally had. In hindsight, I didn’t get my money’s worth of the ultimate package simply because I didn’t drink enough NON-alcoholic . I had 2 speciality covers with booze after dinner, 5 redbulls, a few powerades, and 1 fresh squeezed OJ. It would have been cheaper to get the premium package, and pay a la carte for my non-boozy drinks. Oh, in case you care- wife admitted she will never get an alcoholic drink package ever again. She didn’t get her money’s worth and often ordered a drink out of financial obligation. I think she still has alcohol in her system.. but she admitted I was right so who the hell cares.

- The good- The ship, my suite ( but I’d still sail an inside) MDR, Park Café, Stateroom attendant, Shows, CD, Suite embark/disembark. Rum, Beer, and Vodka.

- The bad. Chops. Windjammer. Kate Spade. My wife went there far less often when it was a cupcake shop. Cupcakes cost 2.50. purses over 300. Suite Lounge- honestly didn’t do much for me. Pretty stuffy atmosphere- bordering on pretentious. Appetizers blah. I had a drink package so I didn’t care about the freebies. Nice view, though. Cabana- way too much $$$. Labadee BBQ can be better. Also, I don’t need fruit and cheese plates delivered to my room. I’ll give them to my folks who are travelling with us but staying in a d2 next summer. Breakfast, lunch, and desserts in CK left a lot to be desired.

 

If I had to give lady Allure and her crew a score, 4.8/5. We’ll definitely sail on her again, and can’t wait for our big family cruise on the Harmony next August.

 

Feel free to ask any questions- thanks for readin’

[sdpete]

Interesting, informative, and enjoyable review.

[Clarea]

Very detailed review, thanks.:)

[mirp]

Nice. Thank you.

[champagne123]

Great review!!!!! Thank you for sharing. :):):)

[BillOh]

Good reading, though I feel compelled to say some of us Muricans are pretty good at geography. Maybe it helped that I could see Canada from my bedroom window.

[constable145]

Good reading, though I feel compelled to say some of us Muricans are pretty good at geography. Maybe it helped that I could see Canada from my bedroom window.

Hahaha obviously. But it wouldn't have been as funny that way. Some people I chatted with were quite conversant on Canada.. Others, not so much.

 

Interestingly enough, one of the most "Canada-aware" folks we chatted with was a Jamaican server at breakfast on the final day. "what do you mean you don't drink da coffee mon? You're Canadian you got da Tim Hortons mon! You going to tell me that you don't drink da Molson's too?"

 

Stereotypes were maintained when I assured her that while I avoid coffee I do enjoy the 'odd' bottle of barley and hops.

 

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk

[BillOh]

Hahaha obviously. But it wouldn't have been as funny that way. Some people I chatted with were quite conversant on Canada.. Others, not so much.

 

I did have to look up the Golden Horseshoe area though. I grew up on the southern edge of Lake Erie so Long Point and many Ontario places were within view. I grew up with a couple of Canadian TV stations and am now an avid curler. I'll keep watching for more.

[stretch44]

Breakfast, lunch, and desserts in CK left a lot to be desired.

 

What did you dislike about them?

[cruiser82]

May I ask what you didn't like about the breakfast in Coastal Kitchen? We're used to going to the suite restaurant for breakfast on our NCL cruises and really enjoy that, so we were hoping we would have similar experiences in CK.

 

Thank you for your review.

[constable145]

What did you dislike about them?

Breakfast is essentially the same as the MDR. Run of the mill.

 

Lunch I had a chicken sandwich. The chicken was rubbery. My wife had a pasta dish and it was 'fine'.

 

Dessert... I'm a cheesecake / pie / chocolate cake sorta guy. I'm not a tiramisu sorta guy. The cafe cake thingy I had was fine, just not my cup of tea. I'd take the strawberry cheesecake offered night 2 in the MDR all 7 nights..

 

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[LuCruise]

Happy anniversary (5th or 10th)! What a wonderful way to celebration. Cruises are addicting, and since you spoiled her with only the best, it must be hard to go down. :-) Thanks for the feedback. Sounds like a great trip.

[ramanda]

Some of you may have followed my earlier thread http://boards.cruisecritic.com/showthread.php?t=2392797

Some of you may not. It is long and detailed. I am a discerning, but forgiving and understanding reviewer.

 

About my wife and I. She’s 29. I’m 34. Both gainfully employed Canadians who hadn’t had a chance to cruise since Alaska on the Radiance in 2013- These little things called newborns realign your priorities ( I’m not complaining, honest). My wife and I were celebrating our upcoming 10th anniversary ( 5 years for her, 5 years for me.. 5+5=10). We decided to splurge and make our maiden voyage into the Royal Suite Class ( Grand Suite 7254, Sky Class- more on this later). I feel I may have created a monster. She says she’s addicted to Suites ( as demonstrated by our SKY LOFT next year on the Harmony) but I could swear in a inside studio cabin…honestly. This was also our first time away from our Toddler for more than a few nights together.

We’re in the Golden Horseshoe (I lied to most of you on the cruise when I said I’m from ‘Toronto’ but it is much easier to explain). We got a great deal on flights out of Detroit ( 425 CDN/325 USD roundtrip total for the 2 of us) so it was worth the 3 hour drive. We usually fly out of Buffalo or Toronto Pearson. We dropped off our little one and pet polar bear and we were off to Detroit. (Many ‘Murican folks were shocked to hear that the temperature in Canada was a few degrees warmer than it was in Fort Lauderdale on the day we flew)

Our flight was seamless. I had got a great deal on the Renaissance Cruise port (165 Canadian) months ago. It was clean and comfortable. We took a cab to the Cheesecake factory. Fancy. Gourmet. I know but us Canadians are deprived from having one, so it was a nice treat. Plus, any place that makes mixes peanut butter and cheesecake is doing something right. Since they were doing Reno’s at the hotel, they comped the breakfast buffet. Good thing too. It sucked. I’m glad I didn’t pay for it. By now, it was 1015am Sunday morning. Time for a cab to the port.

We arrived at Port Everglades around 1030am. We went to the super fancy Suites check-in. For some reason, the shoreside folks didn’t have a record of my drink package purchase. My card did have the Coca-cola logo on it though and since I would rather die of thirst than drink pepsi, I though that was cool. We went up to the Suites waiting area. We were on board shortly after 11am… A whopping 10 minutes before Steerage class.

My wife and I had a near domestic. Her order of priorities was 1. Park café. 2. Maitre d 3. Drink package investigation. This was unacceptable. I needed alcohol before roast beef. So I went to the beverage hospitality desk on the Royal Promeande. They checked the list. Saw the ultimate package beside my name and promptly affixed a sticker to my pretty purple seapass card. It was at this time my wife whipped out her equally pretty seapass card and ordered up the same package. Cue domestic number 2. My wife isn’t a drinker but I figured what the hell.. She’s paying for it, and she’ll wake up hung over on day 2 and regret her purchase. More on drink packages in a bit.

 

A bit more about us. We like the MDR. Shocking, right? I had very little desire to try the Coastal Kitchen. I’m kinda picky… I like red meat, chicken, and pork. If it swims, I don’t eat it. Plus, we like the personal connection you get with the MDR. Plus, I dislike both Mediterranean and Californian cooking so I failed to see what good could come out of those two having a baby.

 

 

Thanks for posting that review! I love the way you write. We were on the week before you on August 14. We went to Nassau, St Thomas and St Kitts. Sorry you were disappointed in some of the food. We went to Chops, Giovannis, Coastal Kitchen, the Main dining room and we also tried Windjammer and the Mexican restaurant. The only place we didn't like was the Mexican restaurant. Otherwise we loved everything else we had. My only other complaint was on sea days the pool was just too crowded. You couldn't really swim and relax. You could only stand there and hope you didn't bump into your neighbor and vice versa. We also had a Grand suite and yes we are now spoiled. We just loved it and we loved the cruise in general. Our neighbors who we tried to convince to go with us weren't interested at the time. When we were on the cruise my husband posted pictures of our daily activities and the ship etc. on facebook and now they want to go with us on the Harmony in 2018. Harmony looks awesome too.

Edited August 30, 2016 by ramanda

[molsonschooner]

Good reading, though I feel compelled to say some of us Muricans are pretty good at geography. Maybe it helped that I could see Canada from my bedroom window.

 

I know what OP is referring to. I too am Canadian and quite often we have talked to "Muricans" who think all Canadians live in igloos

[molsonschooner]

nice review constable. You seem to have a good sense of humour. Too bad about the steak in chops. I am not a steak eater but if I pay extra for anything I want it to be good.

[BillOh]

I know what OP is referring to. I too am Canadian and quite often we have talked to "Muricans" who think all Canadians live in igloos

 

Well, many people who find out we are Ohioan ask us how many cows we own!

[molsonschooner]

Well, many people who find out we are Ohioan ask us how many cows we own!

 

So how many cows do

You have? Lol

[secrui]

Well, many people who find out we are Ohioan ask us how many cows we own!

 

When my wife tells people she's from Chicago, she often gets the response,

"Oh, you're from Illinoise", i.e. pronounced at the end like "Noise" rather than the last part of "annoy". That does annoy her!

[shdixon]

Thanks. very informative. I have 4 months before we sail. this will be the most expensive of all the cruises I have been on so I plan to do any and everything to make it a great one

[constable145]

I forgot to mention. Day 2. Lunch in Sabor. Very tasty. Chicken stuffed jalepeno thingys. A few different types of tacos ( pork and braised beef).

It was very good. Wifey reports that the guacamole was delicious. I think all guacamole is vile.

[PhilNDebbieAtSea]

Great, funny and informative review!! Thanks for sharing!!

 

 

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[Espn]

What did you think about the suite perks like reserved seating at the shows and the sundeck? If you weren't drinking and can remember that is. We are in a GS at the end of Oct and looking very forward to it. Sorry to hear your impression of the suite lounge. We are not getting drink packages so plan to get our moneys worth, or at least try, during the cocktail hours and probably during the day with some beer and wine. I don't mind pretentious, I really enjoy pulling people's strings when they are like that.

[constable145]

The suite sun deck is a nice place to get a drink. No lines at the bar. Ever.

 

It is a pain to get from the suite sun deck to the pool.

 

Reserved seating at Studio B and the Aqua Theatre are great. Didn't take advantage of the Amber theatre seating.

 

What did you think about the suite perks like reserved seating at the shows and the sundeck? If you weren't drinking and can remember that is. We are in a GS at the end of Oct and looking very forward to it. Sorry to hear your impression of the suite lounge. We are not getting drink packages so plan to get our moneys worth, or at least try, during the cocktail hours and probably during the day with some beer and wine. I don't mind pretentious, I really enjoy pulling people's strings when they are like that.

Suite sun deck

What did you think about the suite perks like reserved seating at the shows and the sundeck? If you weren't drinking and can remember that is. We are in a GS at the end of Oct and looking very forward to it. Sorry to hear your impression of the suite lounge. We are not getting drink packages so plan to get our moneys worth, or at least try, during the cocktail hours and probably during the day with some beer and wine. I don't mind pretentious, I really enjoy pulling people's strings when they are like that.

 

 

Sent from my Nexus 6P using Tapatalk