Kids/teens at formal night?

[Keishaw]

We are planning to attend the formal night dinners WITHOUT our 12 and 15 year old sons. Is this fairly common? This is our first cruise, and we're just wondering if this is what parents tend to do. They're just not into the dress-up/formal thing at all.

Karen

[bettyvon]

We have two kids, 10 and 15. Our rule is that they have to come to ONE formal night with us. if they don't want to go to the other, that's okay. Our teenager just goes to the teen club, and if our daughter doesn't want to go either, I sign her in to Adventure Ocean. Usually on formal nights, or at least one I think, A.O. has an "eat with the staff" night where they go to the pizza place or the bufget, or get food to eat in. So that usually works out great! I think it's more fun for the girls to dress up than the boys, so we have less resistance with our daughter than our son.......

[Mildred]

My sons, 18 and 16 must attend dinner every night. On formal nights they wear a suit and tie and hubby wears a tux.

[Merion_Mom]

My kids enjoy formal night, and have since our first cruise, when they were 14 & 16. He wears a tux and looks SO handsome, and she loves getting and wearing a formal dress. We look so yummy - I always buy a pic or two.

[newmexicoNita]

I think it is a good idea to have the kids attend at least one formal night. Dressing for certain occassions is something everyone needs to experience. Will other kids do like your boys are thinking of doing? Maybe, but it has been our experience that most kids as well as parents take part in the formal night event. NMnita

[Keishaw]

Thanks for the feedback.

 

I guess it was our thought as much as the boys' ... partly because of the added expense of the clothing & shoes. They are both growing so much right now that buying them something formal would be quite a waste.

 

Does anyone know if the tux rental for their age would be the same price as the adult rental, which I believe is $85 each for the week? I'm not sure how the fitting works - they might actually fit into small men's tuxes, but perhaps there is a junior size?

 

If I was splurging for a tux rental for them, I would insist they go to both formal nights for sure!

 

This is a once-in-a-lifetime trip with their grandfather, so maybe the photo-ops at the formal dinners would be well worth the extra $$$!

 

Karen

[Sadfam99]

We went on Ebay and found very inexpensive outfits for my boys one was $6.00 Dress pants/vest/dress shirt and the other $8.00 Dress pants/jacket/dress shirt. Pretty good deal!:D

[stoney10]

My DW, works hard to find just the right suits for our boys, 16 and 12. My daughter dresses like the Princess she is. My kids love formal night, yes, they fuss and make a big deal out of it, but there is nothing better than seeing the smiles on there faces when we walk out of our rooms. We normally go to both Formal nights. MY DW shops through the year to find the deals on dresses and suits, she usually finds them good priced cloths for them and boy oh boy what a proud Dad I am on those nights to see my kids look the way they do. Cant wait til Friday, Voyager here we come!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Nliedel]

Oue intentions were to dress the boys up and go to dinner every night. HA! Little goons had other plans. They are younger than your kids but they wanted pizza in the cabin so it was a babysitter and pizza in the cabin almost every single night. Our Maitre'D put another couple at our table to fill their spaces. I missed them terribly and wanted them along but they were at breakfast every morning and were in general well behaved and good so I let the dreams of the family dinner slide. We eat together at home every night so I guess I can let this go. Sob :)

[PEGLEG]

$200 for Plane Ride

$600 for Caribbean Cruise

$300 for Shore Excursions

$0 - to look like a slob on formal night

PRICELESS.

[cruz1234]

Since it is your first cruise you should have them go at least 1 night. My DD loves dressing up for formal nights, she is a teen. We were in Nassau and had paid for a room and were at Atlantis but returned to the ship just so we could go to Formal night. I don't think it's necessary to have the boys wear a tux. A nice pair of pants and dress shirt w/ tie should be good. I have seen kids less dressed than that and some in tuxes. But to save on expenses you could go that route, unless you can find what you need on ebay. have a great trip, they might decide they want to go to both formal nights :)

[kahneinny]

both of my son's (15 & 19) just got new suits for this cruise. We have a wedding to attend in December so it was worth it. But they are both very excited to get all dressed up for the formal nights. One of the formal nights is Thanksgiving so that will be very fun!

[MrsPete]

Kids today have so few opportunities to learn good manners in a formal setting -- I'd take them. They'll stilll have plenty of time to wear slouchy clothes and eat pizza from paper plates!

[jazzmanfive]

Look! you dont have to make your kids "dress up".If they dont want to DONT! make them.

I know this is tough, but try to remember back when you were there age and say to yourselves yeah! what was that all about, why did my parents used to make me look like them,i am 15 not 50.

If they want to dress up and look formal they will without you pushing them,but i can assure you kids over 13 want to appear to there peers as cool, fashionable and streetwise more than they want to "dress" for dinner.

Let them be who they are!after all its there vacation too.

p.s. i have two sons who are now 17 and 14 they have been cruising with us for 10 years and as they have got older the more independant they have become they prefer to search out there friends at dinner (usually congregate in the buffet area) and generally "hang out".Never no problems we see each other round the ship during the evening everyones happy.

Have a great cruise!:)

Jazz.:cool:

[beth4652]

Look! you dont have to make your kids "dress up".If they dont want to DONT! make them.

I know this is tough, but try to remember back when you were there age and say to yourselves yeah! what was that all about, why did my parents used to make me look like them,i am 15 not 50.

If they want to dress up and look formal they will without you pushing them,but i can assure you kids over 13 want to appear to there peers as cool, fashionable and streetwise more than they want to "dress" for dinner.

Let them be who they are!after all its there vacation too.

p.s. i have two sons who are now 17 and 14 they have been cruising with us for 10 years and as they have got older the more independant they have become they prefer to search out there friends at dinner (usually congregate in the buffet area) and generally "hang out".Never no problems we see each other round the ship during the evening everyones happy.

Have a great cruise!:)

Jazz.:cool:

 

 

 

 

 

I disagree with that philosophy, Jazzmanfive. I think there are certain social graces that kids need to learn and social settings that they need to experience. Always having their own way and never having any expectations to live up to leads, in part, to the poor behavior we all hear about. If the kids are allowed to do pretty much as they please during the day, I see no reason that they cannot be expected to attend dinner with the family and dress appropriately. There are certain things I expect of my kids, like attending church, giving a firm handshake when they meet someone, dressing in smart casual on Thanksgiving and Christmas (even if it's just the immediate family there), not wearing grungy clothes of any sort on cruises, and eating in the dining room with DH and myself every night, dressed appropriately.

[newmexicoNita]

Thanks for the feedback.

 

I guess it was our thought as much as the boys' ... partly because of the added expense of the clothing & shoes. They are both growing so much right now that buying them something formal would be quite a waste.

 

Does anyone know if the tux rental for their age would be the same price as the adult rental, which I believe is $85 each for the week? I'm not sure how the fitting works - they might actually fit into small men's tuxes, but perhaps there is a junior size?

 

If I was splurging for a tux rental for them, I would insist they go to both formal nights for sure!

 

This is a once-in-a-lifetime trip with their grandfather, so maybe the photo-ops at the formal dinners would be well worth the extra $$$!

Ebay is the way to go. The stuff is usually in good condition and very inexpensive. I got my dress for my Granddaughters wedding next month on Ebay. I love it; The last thing I needed was one more formal as I have a about 5 as it is: so I watched Ebay, saw one I liked and $22.00 later including shipping I had just what I wanted. You are right about the boys growning fast, we got DHs tux on Ebay a few years ago; he is growning fast as well, it's time to get him a new one. LOL

[KelJ]

My TA told us, and I have read on this board, that many kids wear shirt and tie but no jacket. That is how my boys (10 and 13) are dressing for our upcoming cruise. I got those zipper ties from Talbots Kids for my 10 year old. He had never worn a tie in his life, and he LOVES them. He wants to wear them around the house because he loves to play with the zipper!

[Dreamfinders]

My 16 year old son rented a tux for our last cruise and I loved how this worked out. He wore it for both formal nights (hubby rented on too) and this saved us having to carry an extra bag for suits, etc. We are relatively new to cruising and for out first two cruises my guys just brought suits, but now that they rented we will go this way from now on. I love how they looked in their tuxs and our pictures are wonderful. In fact we are going to use a picture on our 2 children (son in tux, daughter in her formal dress) for our Christmas picture this year. Very special and great memories.

 

Have a Wonderful cruise!!

[caviargal]

If they want to dress up and look formal they will without you pushing them,but i can assure you kids over 13 want to appear to there peers as cool, fashionable and streetwise more than they want to "dress" for dinner.

QUOTE]

 

I have been cruising since I was nine and formal nights were - and still are - the highlight of my cruises. All kids and teens are not the same.

 

I took my 17 YO nephew and his friend on a short cruise with me last year. They both wore dress shirts and ties on informal nights and suits on formal. I was quite impressed with both of them and asked why they decided to do that. The answer was that they wanted to look great and not SOME of the teens on board who looked like they were going to a ball game.

 

These are both surfer dude guys who live in shorts and flip flops most of the time.

[newmexicoNita]

I disagree with that philosophy, Jazzmanfive. I think there are certain social graces that kids need to learn and social settings that they need to experience. Always having their own way and never having any expectations to live up to leads, in part, to the poor behavior we all hear about. If the kids are allowed to do pretty much as they please during the day, I see no reason that they cannot be expected to attend dinner with the family and dress appropriately. There are certain things I expect of my kids, like attending church, giving a firm handshake when they meet someone, dressing in smart casual on Thanksgiving and Christmas (even if it's just the immediate family there), not wearing grungy clothes of any sort on cruises, and eating in the dining room with DH and myself every night, dressed appropriately.

Social graces is the perfect word: I agree. I know the OP doesn't appear to have a problem with her boys dressing up, it is simply a matter of cost which is understandable but there will always be those who do not think their kids should be put under undue stress just to please adults. sure, give me a break!!!!!!

[larkwind]

Our DS 16+ had a love/hate relationship with his dress clothes in those early teen years, too. But we all survived on compromise and compulsion (sometimes we compromised and sometimes we required). Since last year he's started to enjoy dressing up and when he got into high school I watched the tux stores for their resale suits. Got him one including shirt and studs for $50. I know about the growing years--he went from 4'8" in 5th grade to 6'1" in 8th...He has slowed down now so tux should last through hs. He even runs into KWIK shop to buy a candy bar when he's got it on, just to be out and about in it:)

We're all looking forward to dressing up (girls 22,19 and boys 16, 4--wearing a blazer, not tux) and getting a new family pic for the livingroom wall.

A big fling with grandpa deserves a great picture, especially if grandpa likes to dress nicely. They and you'll be glad you did it when he's gone.

 

Just a little FYI for mom's of teen boys--you be their biggest cheerleader and let/make dad be their boss/coach. This is a big switch from the elementary years, but it really cuts down on the "leave me alone, Mom" stuff.

[jazzmanfive]

Seems like there are a few opinions on this but i still maintain when your kids reach a certain age they should have their own opinion on how they attire themselves.I do not think this leads to disrespect,bad behaviour or poor manners.As i say this is a holiday NOT a finishing school for Oxford university.If your child is bad mannered and lack social graces,putting him in a monkey suit is not going to transform him in to Prince Charles.

Its not the phoney photo pic. that's important here,it is making sure every member of the family has a great holiday because they got to choose what they wanted to do. (without upsetting any guests of course)

As i said (Beth) IF teens etc. decide they want to dress for formal night thats great! but surely dictating to others that do not want to can not be right.it just leads to a bad atmosphere for the sake of satisyfying you.

Let them chill,dont worry,you will find they will thank you for their independance.

As you will gather i am not a great believer in forcing my own opinions on to my kids,once they develop an understanding of intelligence i believe they have the right to express this.

jazz.:cool:

[bld16]

Kids today have so few opportunities to learn good manners in a formal setting -- I'd take them. They'll stilll have plenty of time to wear slouchy clothes and eat pizza from paper plates!

 

Amen!:)

[caviargal]

Seems like there are a few opinions on this but i still maintain when your kids reach a certain age they should have their own opinion on how they attire themselves.I do not think this leads to disrespect,bad behaviour or poor manners.As i say this is a holiday NOT a finishing school for Oxford university.If your child is bad mannered and lack social graces,putting him in a monkey suit is not going to transform him in to Prince Charles.

Its not the phoney photo pic. that's important here,it is making sure every member of the family has a great holiday because they got to choose what they wanted to do. (without upsetting any guests of course)

As i said (Beth) IF teens etc. decide they want to dress for formal night thats great! but surely dictating to others that do not want to can not be right.it just leads to a bad atmosphere for the sake of satisyfying you.

Let them chill,dont worry,you will find they will thank you for their independance.

As you will gather i am not a great believer in forcing my own opinions on to my kids,once they develop an understanding of intelligence i believe they have the right to express this.

jazz.:cool:

 

If their dad considers it a "monkey suit", it makes sense that the kids will as well.

 

Independence means being properly prepared to enter the adult world in a wide range of aspects, and, IMHO, allowing a teen to disregard the dress code of a restaurant or cruise ship teaches them the wrong lesson.

 

When my niece and nephew travel with me or go out to dinner with me, expectations are set for behavior, dress, etc. If they choose to disregard these, which has not happened yet, then I simply will no longer include them in my plans.

[beth4652]

If their dad considers it a "monkey suit", it makes sense that the kids will as well.

 

Independence means being properly prepared to enter the adult world in a wide range of aspects, and, IMHO, allowing a teen to disregard the dress code of a restaurant or cruise ship teaches them the wrong lesson.

 

When my niece and nephew travel with me or go out to dinner with me, expectations are set for behavior, dress, etc. If they choose to disregard these, which has not happened yet, then I simply will no longer include them in my plans.

 

 

 

I agree 100%. As always, on these boards, we can agree to disagree.