A Spring Break on the Mardi Gras Review 3/12-3/19 with a few pics and far too many words....

[HolySpearit]

Welcome to this review of the Mardi Gras that literally  nobody asked for!!! I have reviewed exactly one of my prior cruises and I think it made it to a screaming 4 pages so clearly, I can’t disappoint anyone and skip this. Mostly I do it because I like looking back and it organizes my thoughts. 

 

This 7 day cruise on the Mardi Gras left out of Port Canaveral. Our original itinerary was San Janu, Grand Turk, and Amber Cove. This was modified to Nassau, Grand Turk, and Amber Cove. We have done all these ports before and mostly cruised for the ship.

 

About Us:

This cruise was taken by my husband, here to be referred to as “D”, and me. I will be referred to as “me”. We are pushing 40 with a very short stick (D’s shorter than mine) and are from Minneapolis. We are the ultra elite red status on Carnival, this being our 3^rd Carnival cruise and 5^th cruise overall. We are not loyal but generally don’t dislike Carnival. Like many, this cruise was a rona redemption cruise-we got cancelled 3 times (from the Dream, the Breeze, and the Magic) and accordingly ended up with over 1k in onboard credit. I like to think we’re fairly laidback people….in reality, D is laidback people. I am “appear externally calm while internally screaming” people.  I am a beach person, D is not. We do not have kids and did not realize it was spring break when we told our PVP ‘sure go for it’ when she suggested putting us on this cruise. That made this quite the adventure.

 

PRE-CRUISE:

We are upgraded to 5g and our signal is boosted (jokes, I’m very pro vaxx, you do you though!) so we had a 3 day window for our nose swabs vs 2.  Covid tests completed on 3/9. We had the Binax Now at home tests. D passes his with flying colors. I am a dummy (and also had a difficult time understanding the proctor—I have bad hearing and accents + not great connections is hard times ya’ll) and accidently touched the part of the test I should not have. So the proctor lady yelled at me and told me I couldn’t do it now. Dramatically deciding I not need this level of difficulty in my life nor random women in India yelling at me while I’m trynna go on vacation, I found an appointment at CVS for a rapid test in 2 hours. In and out in 5 minutes, and had my results within an hour.  We are cleared to board!

 

 

 

[HolySpearit]

FLORIDA PRE CRUISE:

Do you set 3 alarms too when you have to be at the airport early, or are you normal? 

 

We arrived at MCO on Thursday 3/10 around noon via a Delta direct flight. They ended up grounding flights due to storms about an hour after we arrived so that was some excellent timing. We arrived to pouring rain and I considered filing suit against someone for calling this the sunshine state. Picked up a rental at Enterprise.

We previously had an Air BnB booked. The host emailed us the night before saying the hot water heater was broken and we could either cancel for a full refund, or he’d give us a discount. I hate being dirty slightly more than I hate rain in Florida, so we cancelled and were scrambling at 10pm to find a hotel for the next few days. In Florida. Over Spring Break. We ended up booking an Extended Stay Suites in Melbourne at a price I am still not ready to discuss. It was fine. Definitely geared towards longer stays and heavily populated by people working construction in the area but it was fine for 2 nights. Thursday night we went to Target for the 90 things we forgot even with 3 suitcases full of junk (???), hit up Zaxby’s for dinner (I love me some Zaxby’s) and called it a night pretty early.

 

 

[HolySpearit]

Friday 3/11 we sleep in a bit and head out in search of some breakfast around 10…we attempted to go to Backwater in Melbourne. It was a 75-minute wait. At 10am on a Friday?! Don’t ya’ll have jobs and school?! Oh wait, it is spring break. D decides he wants Perkins. We have Perkins at home and I do not like Perkins but after some debate, he wins and we go to Perkins. We are the youngest people there by at least 30 years. He should have let me win the debate. It was not good. They did offer to grill my muffin for me though which was wild, who knew you could grill a muffin?! I am not brave and decided to just have it warmed up. Regrets.

 

Stop at WalMart for more crap we forgot (honestly what did we even pack? Why do I have like 24 tank tops but not eyebrow gel? Did I forget my face exists?) and an umbrella because it is still somewhat rainy.

 

Back to Chateau Extended Stay to drop off our loot, then over to Disney Springs. Crowds were not bad! Pic was taken about 5pm. Do some shopping, then over to Morimoto Asia for dinner where we had a reservation. It was good. The kid at the table next to us puked all over the floor, that was not good. D had the ribs below as an appetizer (you can get a larger portion should you wish) and the filet mingon. I got kung pao cauliflower (if you are not one of the 7 people that read my last review, I am a lazy vegetarian. I dislike the idea of meat, but I like bacon and ham and chicken. So I get lazy and still eat them occasionally). We also split some Edamame. Overall decent dinner.

 

I wanted some Peanut Butter Cold Brew and a cookie from Gideons because both the internet and a few of my coworkers had convinced me I will LITERALLY DIE if I don’t try them. Well I’d like to see the Mardi Gras so guess we gotta go. There is occasionally very long lines in which they start a “virtual queue”—you put your name in and they text you when it’s time to wait in line. The irony of putting my name on a list to wait in line to spend money is not lost on me. Anyways, when we arrived for dinner we stopped to check (it’s right next door to Morimoto) and they said no virtual queue-just wait in person for about 20 minutes”. Cool. Ate dinner, went back and it had gotten busier so they fired up the ol virtual queue. Ok signed up, shopped a little more, got a text about 20 minutes later to go stand in line.  Get in line and it’s about 10 mins til we’re there. Order the PB Cold Brew and a cookie each. We could have shared, they are HUGE. Pretty sure I contracted the beetus from these. The cold brew is also good but I got 95% melted chilled peanut butter taste and very little coffee. I am fine with this as I love peanut butter. If you do not love peanut butter, 2/10 would not recommend. As our pancreases scream for mercy, we head back to the hotel because tomorrow is CRUIIISEEEE DAYYYYYYY!

^Crowds around 5pm

^Gideons inside...it's cute and kinda spooky but like in a fun way not in a scary way. Very like Harry Potter for the slightly emo crowd way. 

 

Morimoto short rib. Sweet and sticky but per D, tasty. 

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[lazydayz]

Great start and thanks for doing this.  We loved the Mardi Grass, and can't wait to get back to it (less than 60 days now).  Looking forward to hearing about your cruise! 

[bradkristi]

Two things I love Disney and cruising!

[BabyJacks17]

Loving this review!  I thoroughly enjoyed Mardi Gras when I got to sail on her this past January and looking forward to hearing about your experience with D 🙂

[HolySpearit]

EMBARKATION:

Up and at em around 9 at the Heauxtel du Extended Suites. Checkout quick and easy. Hit up WaWa for some breakfast sandwiches as I had heard they were good, turned out to be….gas station breakfast sandwiches. I don’t get the hype but who knows maybe lunch is better or maybe I picked a defective WaWa.

 

Dropped the rental at Enterprise at the port around 11:15. (side note: very easy to rent from MCO and return to the port, but they’re gonna charge you about $80 for that luxury). Waited for the (free) shuttle over to port, the couple in front of us were on the soon to be stuck in the mud Escape cruise and were talking about how excited they were. Big yikes, hope they’re ok! Our port arrival time was 12-12:30 and we arrived a little before noon. Luggage handed to the porters along with a tip so they don’t throw my 250 tank tops and newly purchased moisturizer/eyebrow gel into the ocean, and walk right up. Dude checks our boarding passes and we head into the long line up a winding ramp. It is now absolutely POURING but it’s covered so it’s cool. Make it to the top, where it’s slightly uncovered but there’s Carnival people with umbrellas who walked with us which I thought was nice. Boarding pass checked again and we’re inside! Masks required once you’re in.

 

 Wait in line about 15 minutes and are called to a small table with 2 people who check our passports, boarding passes, vax cards, and covid tests. (Info note: I was slightly worried about my vax card. My first 2 doses were official looking with a sticker as they were done through the county. I did my booster at Walgreens and they haphazardly wrote “booster” and a date on the back of the card. Honestly it looked kinda forged even though it wasn’t. It passed inspection. D had his home test results on his app. I had a screenshot of my results via my CVS account. Both were acceptable). The workers at the table said people were being mean to them about the docs needed and people had a lot of issues. That made me bummed, be nice people! Anyways, cleared for boarding we walk over past the picture people. There’s nobody sitting. I have no idea what boarding zone we’re on (you can not hear a THING in there in terms of announcements, D has the hearing of a bat and he couldn’t either so it’s not just my bum ears) but since there’s no line and nobody sitting we just decide to walk up and try to get on. Dude looks at my passport again and then we’re on the boat!

 

I have no pics of this part so pretend there’s a pic of some rain. It was raining. A lot.

[cruisingguy007]

Great review so far! I like your wit and writing style. 

[HolySpearit]

I’M ON A BOAT:

And we’re onnnn the Mardi Gras!!!!! You enter on deck 6 I think. Our muster station was B7 which was the casino, mid. Make a beeline over there to get this done as I am NOT gonna be one of those people holding up the cruise! We are the only ones there. They scan our cards, ask if we’ve been on a cruise/done this before. We say yes. They say lifejackets will be at the muster station, tell us to watch the safety video in our room, and we’re good to go. I am……aghast. Amazed. SO HAPPY. This is the easiest muster of all time! No more 9000 people sweating on me while we stand outside trying not to pass out while nobody knows what’s going on because nobody can hear?! This is the best rona development ever! The casino bar appears to be open and there’s nobody there so we order a couple Miami Vices to kick off the cruise. We had Cheers. We paid tax. The bartenders there were all very nice people. 

 

Mosey up the the Pig and Anchor for some lunch. It is crowded but not insane and we easily got a table. Pig and Anchor BBQ is fine. It’s not my favorite but it’s fine. I had some mac and cheese and some bread (I am clearly not on the keto lifestyle train), D had some sausage and brisket, mac and cheese and greens. He concurred it was fine. It was about 1:40 by then so we decided to see if our room was ready. We had a balcony cabin on deck 10 on the starboard side. Get there and the door is propped open but it looks clean? Can I go in? Who knows!

 

Out pops our room Steward who’s name I honestly can not recall but he told us to call him G so we’ll go with that. Introduced himself and asked what time we wanted service. After some debate we settled on “around noon” which is not morning or evening but in the middle. He offered it and it was the time we were most likely to be out of the room so it worked out great! D watches the safety video diligently as he is a rule follower. I decide if the boats going down I’m prob going to get eaten by a shark anyways so whatever. I half pay attention. No smoking the devil’s lettuce, no smoking anything in your room, don’t throw crap overboard. Got it. The TV had our names on it, I do not recall that from our last cruise so that was fancy!

 

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[Joe817]

Great review so far! Loving it! 👍

[HolySpearit]

IM ON A BOAT (YEAH YEAH I KNOW ITS A SHIP BUT THATS NOT A SONG) CONT...

 

 

Up to Lido for sail away about 3 to try and get a primo spot…I think sail away was set for 4:30. Numerous announcements for people to do their #$^#^$ muster. Dawg, it’s like 3 seconds long now, take a quick bar break and do it.  We were wearing jeans and sweatshirts. It was appx 30 degrees when we left Minneapolis. It was about 65 but I have quickly adapted to this Florida lifestyle and decided 60 is freezing. Then it starts to rain. Then it’s announced sail away party is cancelled on account of weather. I have no idea if it was moved inside somewhere or just cancelled. Chris the Flying Scotsman (who sometime sounded Scottish and sometimes sounded like he was from Nebraska??) just said cancelled. Ok then!!!

 

We don’t have a dinner reservation until 7:30 at the steakhouse which is far too long to go without food, so we stop by the new Shaq’s Big Chicken for a little snacky snack. We both got the tenders (chicken, not the boat kind) and fries. You get 2 tenders. They have some sandwiches too. Fries were kinda skinny but tasty. Chicken was pretty good! The sauce comes from a dispenser and you can pick BBQ, BBQ Ranch, Shaq Sauce or….something else. Maybe it was just ketchup. Shaq sauce tastes vaguely like Blackened Ranch from Popeye's if you are a chicken connoisseur like me and know what that tastes like. They tasted fine but were pretty runny/thin. No idea if this was the intended viscosity or if they just got hot. I mean it’s 60 degrees so I’m guessing the former but who knows.  I did not die of food poisoning from them so it’s all good.

 

Decided to go back to the room for sail away from our balcony. And we’re on the open ocean!! I think we ended up heading out about 5. DO YOUR MUSTER PEOPLE. Again no pics here so picture a chicken tender in your head.

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[HolySpearit]

OFFICIALLY OUT TO SEA:

Decide to take a shower and look presentable as we had our aforementioned reservations at the Fahrenheit 555 Steakhouse that evening.

 

I will take this time to comment on the bathrooms. They are….small. Like exceedingly small. The glass shower door is a GREAT improvement over the shower curtains. The shower itself is a decent size. It seemed taller than I remember them being.  But like the space between the toilet and the shower is tinnnnny. Like tiny tiny.  I mean it worked but….downgrade from the older ships IMO. Unless I just got exponentially larger since our last cruise. I mean covid was hard on all of us but I don’t think I got that much larger. 

 

Boat was reallllll rocky that afternoon too. We were effectively rolling with the storm that hit Orlando that afternoon leading to pouring rain during embarkation. This will be a theme for the next few days.

 

 

FAHRENHEIT 555 STEAKHOUSE

Head up to the steakhouse for dinner. Check in, they say it will be a few minutes. We belly up to the bar and scan the QR code for a drink menu (all menus are QR codes now, I think they will give you a paper menu if you ask but bring your phone so scan away) when the hostess comes over and says our table is ready. No drink for me!

 

Sit down and our waitress comes over with some water. Free bottle of wine offered and declined, I paid for cheers I want the hard stuff. Order drinks. Then we sit. For 45+ minutes.

 

Ya’ll. This was slow. This was so slow. This cruise was close to capacity at 5800 people per Chris the Flying maybe Scotsman maybe Nebraskian. 45 minutes go by. Our waitress comes over. She seems very flustered and takes our order. All courses including dessert need to be ordered now. Okie dokie then. We remind her we still had no drinks. She apologizes profusely.

 

D orders the risotto, the NY Strip, and some mac and cheese. I order the stuffed mushrooms and the chicken (#lazyveggie), and the mashed potatoes. We decide to do the art at your table for dessert.

Wait another 30 minutes. Out comes our apps. We still have no drinks. We mention it to the woman that brought our apps (not our server). D says his risotto is good. The mushrooms are also good. I have had these before. I still do not know what to do with the “mushroom tea”. Do I dunk the mushrooms in ti? Do I drink it like a tea? Deciding once again dunking a mushroom in something I should be drinking looks less dumb than drinking something I should be dunking a mushroom in, I dunk em. They were good.

 

We wait a very quick 10 minutes and out comes the entrees. D’s steak is fine. Not the best steak he’s ever had but not bad either. My chicken is quite good. Mashed potatoes are tasty, I am a sucker for wasabi. I want to order another drink but do not want to be here until 3am so decide against it and chug some water. Well at least I’ll be hydrated.

 

Waitress comes out with the big art on the table plastic thing (for anyone who has not done it, a chef comes out and smears some puree and crumbles some stuff on what is a large cutting board. Then in the middle there’s a ball of chocolate with some  stuff in the middle. They pour some hot chocolate on it to melt the ball and you pretend to be amazed at how cool this is). We sit for another 30 minutes. Waitress stops by. She looks beyond frazzled, apologized for the wait, and says there’s 2 tables in front of us waiting for the ar-tiste to do this thing. The table next to us seated 30 minutes behind us gets their cheesecake. I should have ordered the cheesecake.

 

Chef comes, does his art business, we act impressed. It was good. There’s some passion fruit puree they use that is SO GOOD. It’s kind of sweet and sour and I contemplate asking for a bowl of it.

 

And finally a solid just under 3 hours later, we are done. Woooof that was long. It’s not their fault. I believe this was the closest to capacity cruise the MG crew has dealt with to date. Our poor waitress seemed so stressed. As we are elderly, we decide to call it a night and head to bed. Day 1 done!

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[HolySpearit]

DAY 1 A DAY AT SEA

So our itinerary for this cruise was set to be:

Embarkation—Sea Day—Nassau—Sea Day – Amber Cove—Grand Turk---Sea Day. So today’s a sea day!

 

Boat is ROCKING all night long and I don’t mean that in a fun way. Them seas were angry! Slept like total garbage. Decided I couldn’t sit in bed any longer around 8. It is still rocky and cold out.

 

Head down to Java Blue for the first of many iced vanilla lattes I would drink. Pick up a caramel one for D too, who I know also did not sleep well. Drink coffee in our room for a bit and decide to go to Sea Day brunch.

 

The new system for anyone unfamiliar is you have to check in via the hub app. It will give you an approximate wait time. You check in, then it sends you a notification when your table is ready. When you get that notification, you can either cancel or notify them that you’re on your way. They hold your table for 10 minutes.

 

Check the app, says it’s an under 10 minute wait. Ok cool, let’s check in. While we wait, we review today’s happenings and D notes there is early bingo card sales going on in Grand Central, which is effectively the atrium. D is a big bingo fan so we NEED TO GO DOWN THERE IMMEDIATELY.

 

There’s a decent line and D is amongst his bingo loving people. I believe it was around 11am, and bingo was set to start at 3pm. There was also card sales just before the actual game, but if you were an early bird you got an extra bingo card thing. Well wow, early birds to bingo, we are officially the oldest people I know. Bingo packages are $25 (3 cards per game), $35 (6 cards per game) or $48 (9 cards per game, plus a pull tab thing and a dauber). I give you one guess which one he picked for us. Oh well, gotta spend that onboard credit somehow.

 

Shortly after we secure the bingo goods, I get a notification our table is ready. It had been about 30 minutes instead of "under 10" but it worked out because Lord forbid how upset D would have been if he missed the early bird bingo. Ohhh he's my favorite. ❤️ Off to brunch we go! 

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[Momma1980]

Following!  Thanks for posting!

[HolySpearit]

SEA DAY NUMBER 1 CONTINUED:

 

We head to the Palms dining room for brunch. Check in with the hostess who reviews my phone to make sure I really have a table number. Once confirmed, a guy walks us to our table. There are NUMEROUS people standing in the entrance complaining about wait times and how the app is wrong. I mean they are correct, but yelling ain’t gonna change it. Overall, I felt like people were extremely demanding on this cruise. I don’t know……just a lot of seemingly cranky people.

 

Waitress stops by quick, I don’t remember her name. She asks if we’re ready to order. Uhhhh ok sure guess so? This is quite the change from the steak house! D is trying to eat relatively healthy so he orders one of the additional charge juices. It was the one with turmeric and ginger. It is $5. Come through onboard credit.  He also orders the parfait. Waitress asks if that’s sure that’s all he wants? He insists that is all. I order a spicy bloody mary, along with the eggs/bacon/potato dish.  I also order a blueberry muffin. They do not come around with the bread basket anymore, or at least did not this day. Probably covid related but I didn’t ask. I was not going to be the Karen yellin about bread basket cutbacks to the staff.

 

We sit for 20 minutes. It is crowded in the dining room. Our drinks show up and DB’s parfait does as well. It is hilariously tiny. Think the size of a Yoplait yogurt. No wonder the waitress seemed skeptical. My food did not show up by my muffin did a few minutes later. Bloody mary was good, heavy on the clam juice which is normally not my thing but I guess the ocean spirit got into me because I liked it. It was sufficiently spicy. D said his parfait was good, even if it was gone in 3 minutes. My food shows up. It was, to be succinct, atrocious. One day I will stop ordering eggs on Carnival. It was clearly powdered scrambled eggs. The breakfast potatoes had onions and peppers and like….a tomato based sauce on it? It was like potato spaghetti. No. Just no. Hard pass. The bacon was fine. I am finished eating in 5 minutes. I desperately miss the cheerio French toast they had back in the days of yore. It was ridiculous but tasty.

 

Waitress clears our plates. We sit for 15 minutes as I assume we have to sign a receipt for my drink and D’s juice. Nothing happens. Finally we say screw it and leave. I figure if they really need me to sign something they can find me in 2 seconds.  Overall score 4/10. Again no pics here so picture a powdered egg and a claim in your head.

[HolySpearit]

SEA DAY NUMBER 1 CONTINUED (TOLD YOU IT WAS TOO MANY WORDS):

 

We decide to go make the first of many donations to the casino. Mardi Gras casino is about 2/3 non smoking, 1/3 smoking. I believe this was the first “return to smoking in the casino” voyage. The smoking side is…. intense. I say this as a former regular/still an “occasionally sneak a single cigarette or two while I’m drinking:” smoker. Like real intense. I can’t be on that side more than about 20 minutes. You can not smoke in the bar area at all. I think it used to be ½ and ½. It’s now all non smoking, at least for now. Gotta be at a machine. The non smoking side is enclosed. Some smoke does waft over from the doors constantly being open but it is LIGHT YEARS better than the joke of the “non smoking” area of older ships.  Lose some cash and then it’s time for Bingo with our early bird cards. 

 

Bingo is held in the Mardi Gras theater today. It is about 1/4-1/3 full of D's fellow bingo lovers.  It is our first time in here and it seems small for the size of the ship. It technically spans the space of 2 decks but seating is theater style and there’s no weird poles/vision obstructions, and there’s none of that “random chairs on the ground floor” malarkey that some of the other ships have. Seats all have cup holders and there’s a vent thing on the back that seems to blow cold air?

 

Bingo is hosted by Gabe of the fun squad. He is indeed fun, adorable, and could be a cruise director some day. We do not win. I also somehow get ink all over myself while trying to get my dauber to start daubing. I look like I have strangled a smurf. So needless to say I really did not win.

 

It's about 4:30 so we head back to the room to get ready for dinner. It is elegant night in the dining room. Elegant is one of the last words one would ever use to describe me. So we decide to go to Chibang to avoid our lack of elegance.

 

If you have any time dining on the MG, you can go to Chibang, Cucina de Captain or whatever the Italian restaurant is called, and the Pig and Anchor smoke house for free, anytime they are open. At least for now. I greatly enjoyed this. You just have the follow the same check in process as outlined on the brunch post. There are no reservations. They open at 5:30, you can start to check in around 5:20 or so. It’s clear from the app if you can check in or not.

 

Table is actually ready in under 10 minutes. Service is quick. I do not recall our servers name, he was very nice. D ordered the ultimate nachos, a steak, and the “c-bang” for dessert. I got the lettuce wraps, the mao pao tofu, and also the c-bang. We had 2 drinks each and a bottle of water. We also got a primo table next to window and not near anyone else. Score!

 

I have heard very mixed reviews on this place but honestly I was a fan! All of our dishes were at least good, the lettuce wraps were actually very tasty. I am calling a conspiracy and saying the “c-bang” dessert is just melting cake with some ginger on it. But it was still good! We were in and out in under an hour. Overall a good dinner experience!!!! 

 

Again no pics here so picture an exploded bingo dauber and some melting cake.

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[HolySpearit]

 

SEA DAY NUMBER 1 CONTINUED

After dinner we head down to the center stage area. There is allegedly some kind of circus show going on. I think it started around 7 or so. It is crowded, but we are able to find a seat. Not a primo seat, but a seat.

 

Not my favorite venue for shows. Poles are placed in weird spots and if you’re too far back. I love cruise shows ok. Honestly I live for anything gaudy, tacky, and over the top. Cruise shows check every single one of those boxes. A few drinks in me and a cruise show is my happy place. They are just so hilariously over the top. D hates them. But I play bingo for him, he attends cruise shows for me. It’s a fair trade. Mostly.

 

This show had some kind of circus theme although I don’t recall anything circus-y really other than the costumes. The cast for this show (and most center stage shows going forward) was a woman and 2 men singing, and some dancers. The woman had a really good voice. The men were fine. It was very glittery. It is shorter than the theater shows and only runs about 30 minutes. It repeats twice—once usually around 7:30 or so, then again around 9:30 or so. So if you miss the early one come on back later. There are drink dudes walking around regularly. Drinks came in about 15 minutes.

 

We then go over to the Mardi Gras theater for the production show “Broadway Beats”. It is different performers than the ones in the center stage area. Also worth noting, this show ran the first night too. So if you miss it the first night, it repeats.  There is also 2 shows a night. There is no bar in the theater which is unfortunate. We stopped into the casino bar before hand to pick one up...the theater is right next to the casino. It is crowded. Wooooooow. This was really something. The singers were fine. The story line was I think sort of about a woman that goes to New York. I was 4 drinks in by now. There was a man in a glittery police uniform. There was a song from Hamilton and “Rich Girl” by Gwen Stefani from like 2002. They dressed up like homeless people and sang Green Day which was certainly a choice. It was really an experience to be had.

 

One last Tito’s and soda at the casino bar (pours are getting liberal here as we’re becoming regular…tipping reglars), we donate a little more cash, and then it’s time for bed. Nassau tomorrow! Or is it……

 

No pics here so picture Gwen Stefani bopping to a bad version of “The Room Where it Happens”

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[HolySpearit]

 

DAY TWO-NASSAU….OR NAH.

Today is our day we are supposed to be in Nassau. Our plan was to stay on the ship. Another night of not great sleep due to rough seas. I am shaken awake from my restless beauty sleep by what I assume is the boat docking around 5:30am. We’re shaking and baking and shimmying…it feels like we’re stopped. Then we’re….moving again? Decide I must go investigate so step out on the balcony and yep, we’re moving away from Nassau.

 

I had the social media plan for this cruise and the news on the cruise’s Facebook group that Nassau is indeed cancelled for the day. We were apparently unable to dock due to wind. So today shall be a sea day and our itinerary will now be reversed. So now it looks like this:

 

Embarkation -- sea day --sea day -- Grand Turk -- Amber Cove-- sea day -- Nassau.

 

This is later confirmed via an announcement from the captain. I personally like a sea day last but again I am not going to get upset, nothing I can do and I would rather be safe than being blown into the dock.

 

We also had a Jeep rental booked for Grand Turk. Now it’s booked for the wrong day. Since I have zero chill I shake D awake to explain whats going on. He was mostly already awake since I was traipsing in and out of the balcony since 6am. He has the premium internet plan as he needed email access. He emails the vendor asking if we can change our date. We promptly go back to sleep. It is still cold and rainy.

 

 

We wake up again for good around 8:30 and decide to check out Emeril’s for breakfast. D orders the shrimp and grits ($5), I order the banana foster crepe ($5), we split an order of beignets ($5), and we both get lattes (free with cheers. Of note-I am intolerant of dairy-they have soy and almond milk). You order at the counter, they give you a number and you sit at a table and they bring you your food. It is once again somewhat crowded, and people love to put down their sweatshirts or jackets and a book and then go order. It’s like chair hogs of the Emerils. That is not very Bam! of them. We do indeed find a table. Food was good!!!! Crepe was extremely sweet but we’re on vacation so it’s ok.

 

Go donate some more money to the casino since it’s open. D has decided his favorite thing next to bingo is that stupid claw machine where you can try and pick up a wad of cash. Much like bingo, he is eternally not a winner. He does manage to win a bit at the casino so we’ll call that an unplanned sea day win.

 

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[Jamman54]

Enjoying your review and liking your style! You'll be on page two by the end of the day! 😁

[HolySpearit]

UNPLANNED SEA DAY CONT

We are getting hungry so we decide to head up to Guy’s. This cruise was a week after the Sailabration and they apparently had left over buns. Which reminds me, we did receive the 50^th b-day lanyards for free at embarkation as well, which was nice!

 

Line at Guy's looks long, but we're through it in under 10 mins. I feel like that's a theme on this ship too---lines look long but end up being not that bad. D gets a burger and fries. At the suggestion of someone on here back in the day, my go to at Guy’s is “a bun and some fries” as I don’t eat beef. I then go make a veggie sandwich at the condiment bar. It is not half bad! Guy looks at me weird in the line but whatever, gimmie my bun, I’m happy. Guy’s was good, it always is! We took our plates into the buffet and ate there since it was still somewhat chilly out. 

 

 

Guy’s is also right next to Club o2, which is for the youths. Teenagers to be exact. Which made it so there was a ton of them up there. So let’s stop here for a minute….and go on a tiny rant. Tiny. 

 

As I mentioned, I did not know this was spring break. We don’t have kids, by choice. Kids are cool, they’re just not for us. There were over 1000 kids on this voyage per Scottsman/Nebraskian Chris. I am treading carefully here as I am not a parent and realize that puts me in no position to judge anyone’s kids or what they allow their kids to do. 

 

But my LORD people need to control their kids. This entire cruise kids were running up and down the hallways at all hours of the night. All buttons to the elevator would regularly be pushed. They screamed. Constantly. So loudly. I swear like a sailor too but I don't scream curse at the top of my lungs like some of these hooligans were doing.  Not little kids, teenagers. Our Facebook group was rife with tales of fights breaking out and um….amorous activities happening on the upper decks (17 and 18 clamshells) after about 11:30. We were virtually never in that area (or up that late) but it was consistent stories from so many people I have to believe at least some of it was true vs people just being dramatic.  It seemed to be a couple specific groups of kids being just downright ridiculous and obnoxious vs every single teen on the boat but still....it was tiring. A perfect example is us running into a group teenage girls just sitting on the floor of the elevator one night, and then yelling at people when they tried to get on?? Like they were just sitting inside the elevator eating pizza while it apparently stopped at every floor and they started screaming when the door opened? I just side eyed them and let them keep on riding. Aint my kids.

 

I get we were all young and dumb, and we all lament kids these days but…..oy. We will absolutely never, ever, EVERRRRRR cruise during spring break again.  Rant over and I will be taking a short break as this is already too long. Dont worry though I'll be back I aint no quitter. I know you were all worried. Deeply. 

 

I love that like 10 people are reading ya'll are my heroes ❤️ 

 

 

Edited March 25, 2022 by HolySpearit

[lazydayz]

Your review is a total hoot!  I love it.  We were on two weeks before you, masks were required when we boarded but once March 1 rolled around, most people just stopped wearing them.  Our cruise had around 4800 and it was pleasant.  There was smoking allowed in the casino, but they policed it well.  I mostly stayed in the non-smoking part, which was quite pleasant.  

 

Glad you made it to Emeril's.  We had an awesome dinner there! 

[csm5986142]

Love your review.  I totally agree with you on the bathrooms - people seem so happy w/shower doors, maybe that helps distract them from how tiny the bathrooms have become.  I'm a fairly petite person, but still felt really tight to me.

How did your husband like the turmeric and ginger juice?  I always contemplate getting it, but never have.

[Knights on the Beach]

2 hours ago, HolySpearit said:

IM ON A BOAT (YEAH YEAH I KNOW ITS A SHIP BUT THATS NOT A SONG) CONT...

 

 

Up to Lido for sail away about 3 to try and get a primo spot…I think sail away was set for 4:30. Numerous announcements for people to do their #$^#^$ muster. Dawg, it’s like 3 seconds long now, take a quick bar break and do it.  We were wearing jeans and sweatshirts. It was appx 30 degrees when we left Minneapolis. It was about 65 but I have quickly adapted to this Florida lifestyle and decided 60 is freezing. Then it starts to rain. Then it’s announced sail away party is cancelled on account of weather. I have no idea if it was moved inside somewhere or just cancelled. Chris the Flying Scotsman (who sometime sounded Scottish and sometimes sounded like he was from Nebraska??) just said cancelled. Ok then!!!

 

We don’t have a dinner reservation until 7:30 at the steakhouse which is far too long to go without food, so we stop by the new Shaq’s Big Chicken for a little snacky snack. We both got the tenders (chicken, not the boat kind) and fries. You get 2 tenders. They have some sandwiches too. Fries were kinda skinny but tasty. Chicken was pretty good! The sauce comes from a dispenser and you can pick BBQ, BBQ Ranch, Shaq Sauce or….something else. Maybe it was just ketchup. Shaq sauce tastes vaguely like Blackened Ranch from Popeye's if you are a chicken connoisseur like me and know what that tastes like. They tasted fine but were pretty runny/thin. No idea if this was the intended viscosity or if they just got hot. I mean it’s 60 degrees so I’m guessing the former but who knows.  I did not die of food poisoning from them so it’s all good.

 

Decided to go back to the room for sail away from our balcony. And we’re on the open ocean!! I think we ended up heading out about 5. DO YOUR MUSTER PEOPLE. Again no pics here so picture a chicken tender in your head.

 

We were on that cruise!  And we live here so yeah, 60 was freezing.  🤣 We missed the announcement that the sailaway party was cancelled or moved or whatever.  And we were out there on Lido at Red Frog Tiki.

 

We had Big Chicken for lunch, we love it.  You can get as many tenders as you want - I had 3.  No sauce for me, I love that chicken as is.

 

2 hours ago, HolySpearit said:

FAHRENHEIT 555 STEAKHOUSE

Head up to the steakhouse for dinner. Check in, they say it will be a few minutes. We belly up to the bar and scan the QR code for a drink menu (all menus are QR codes now, I think they will give you a paper menu if you ask but bring your phone so scan away) when the hostess comes over and says our table is ready. No drink for me!

 

Sit down and our waitress comes over with some water. Free bottle of wine offered and declined, I paid for cheers I want the hard stuff. Order drinks. Then we sit. For 45+ minutes.

 

Ya’ll. This was slow. This was so slow. This cruise was close to capacity at 5800 people per Chris the Flying maybe Scotsman maybe Nebraskian. 45 minutes go by. Our waitress comes over. She seems very flustered and takes our order. All courses including dessert need to be ordered now. Okie dokie then. We remind her we still had no drinks. She apologizes profusely.

 

D orders the risotto, the NY Strip, and some mac and cheese. I order the stuffed mushrooms and the chicken (#lazyveggie), and the mashed potatoes. We decide to do the art at your table for dessert.

Wait another 30 minutes. Out comes our apps. We still have no drinks. We mention it to the woman that brought our apps (not our server). D says his risotto is good. The mushrooms are also good. I have had these before. I still do not know what to do with the “mushroom tea”. Do I dunk the mushrooms in ti? Do I drink it like a tea? Deciding once again dunking a mushroom in something I should be drinking looks less dumb than drinking something I should be dunking a mushroom in, I dunk em. They were good.

 

We wait a very quick 10 minutes and out comes the entrees. D’s steak is fine. Not the best steak he’s ever had but not bad either. My chicken is quite good. Mashed potatoes are tasty, I am a sucker for wasabi. I want to order another drink but do not want to be here until 3am so decide against it and chug some water. Well at least I’ll be hydrated.

 

Waitress comes out with the big art on the table plastic thing (for anyone who has not done it, a chef comes out and smears some puree and crumbles some stuff on what is a large cutting board. Then in the middle there’s a ball of chocolate with some  stuff in the middle. They pour some hot chocolate on it to melt the ball and you pretend to be amazed at how cool this is). We sit for another 30 minutes. Waitress stops by. She looks beyond frazzled, apologized for the wait, and says there’s 2 tables in front of us waiting for the ar-tiste to do this thing. The table next to us seated 30 minutes behind us gets their cheesecake. I should have ordered the cheesecake.

 

Chef comes, does his art business, we act impressed. It was good. There’s some passion fruit puree they use that is SO GOOD. It’s kind of sweet and sour and I contemplate asking for a bowl of it.

 

And finally a solid just under 3 hours later, we are done. Woooof that was long. It’s not their fault. I believe this was the closest to capacity cruise the MG crew has dealt with to date. Our poor waitress seemed so stressed. As we are elderly, we decide to call it a night and head to bed. Day 1 done!

 

We also ate at the steakhouse the first night - our reservation was at 6:30 and we only had to wait a couple minutes to be seated.  And then wait. And wait. And wait.  There were 4 of us, our poor waitress was frazzled.  We got our drinks fairly fast but everything else was soooooooo slow. I had filet that wasn't very tender.  The mac and cheese and mashed potatoes were the best part of the meal.  We also had art at the table which was fun and delicious.  We were actually seated in the little part of the steakhouse directly behind the bar, not in the main part.  I think our meal took a little over 2 1/2 hours.

 

After dinner, our son & DIL are elderly so they went to bed.  We thought we were young so we decided to stop and listen to Owen Stephen singing by Fortune Teller Bar. He was great! We ordered 2 glasses of Sweet Star champagne (which of course the whole ship was out of for our cruise but I kept trying to order it at every bar just to make sure).  We got brut instead and ended up taking it back to our cabin because we sadly remembered we're also elderly and couldn't stay awake.  🤣

 

1 hour ago, HolySpearit said:

 

SEA DAY NUMBER 1 CONTINUED

After dinner we head down to the center stage area. There is allegedly some kind of circus show going on. I think it started around 7 or so. It is crowded, but we are able to find a seat. Not a primo seat, but a seat.

 

Not my favorite venue for shows. Poles are placed in weird spots and if you’re too far back. I love cruise shows ok. Honestly I live for anything gaudy, tacky, and over the top. Cruise shows check every single one of those boxes. A few drinks in me and a cruise show is my happy place. They are just so hilariously over the top. D hates them. But I play bingo for him, he attends cruise shows for me. It’s a fair trade. Mostly.

 

This show had some kind of circus theme although I don’t recall anything circus-y really other than the costumes. The cast for this show (and most center stage shows going forward) was a woman and 2 men singing, and some dancers. The woman had a really good voice. The men were fine. It was very glittery. It is shorter than the theater shows and only runs about 30 minutes. It repeats twice—once usually around 7:30 or so, then again around 9:30 or so. So if you miss the early one come on back later. There are drink dudes walking around regularly. Drinks came in about 15 minutes.

 

 

I actually love the Center Stage area for shows.  I didn't think we went there the first elegant night but I took a picture of the circus show around 7:30 so apparently we were there too.  🤦‍♀️

[Knights on the Beach]

We also love Guy's and agree - the line looks long but moves fast.  We ate there several times that week.

 

And the teens!  Fortunately, we were oblivious to most of their antics until towards the end of the week.  Our cabin was on deck 16 at the end of the hall closest to Lido so we didn't have any hall runners or kids stealing decorations off the doors or anything like that.  We didn't get internet so I didn't check the FB page at all until we got home.  Our son & DIL got internet I think on the last sea day so they could check on their puppy, etc. and they told us about all the issues with teens.  Basically all we saw were the huge messes they made at or near the ice cream machines.  On the day we were docked in Nassau, we ate at Guy's at a table by the water.  Some of the kids or teens dumped a huge pile of ice cream from the deck above and it landed on the deck narrowly missing a crew member who was bussing tables.  I mean, they must have filled multiple bowls or cones and taken it up there and dumped it all at once.  Security went up after them.

[Sunandslots]

Thank you for this hilarious review!  You are a great writer.  Enjoying it so much😀