Really Really Clueless

[VICKIVICKI]

Okay,. I posted awhile back and got some good information. I had questions on dressing for my age and body-type. I mentioned that I am a nudist, and generally wear sweats in-between. I also mentioned that I am looking for a look that goes beyond my cruise[changing my "style" which is non-existent] Thank you for the information you gave me. May I please get some more? In my prior post, I do not think I mentioned that I am profoundly aDHD with aspects of Aspergers. We really don't "pick-up" on how others dress[or anything,. for that matter] and generally have terrible fashion sense[think Albert Einsteins hair,another clueless ADHDer with Aspergers]my body, for an "old Broad" is in pretty good shape[because i never stop moving and working out relaxes me and brings a sense of order to my mind] i was thinking of bringing a friend shopping with me. She promised she would be honest in her appraisel of what looks good on me.Now,. in general, are friends really honest about these kinds of things[in general] or do they say everything looks good in order to keep from hurting feelings?I was thinking of packing outfits together,down to jewelry and shoes[i sometimes have done this for special occasions, but not for every day]but with the mixing and matching I keep reading about, I don't know if that would work.What do you think? Also, i ussually wear toenail polish. If I wear sandals, do I need to change the color to match the outfit. My toenails are ussually a burgundy, whereas my gown that my husband picked out is red. Would that still work? Last, what are the "little Touches that make a difference' that you notice in a woman who has her style altogether? it is extraordinarily emberrasing for me to ask these questions,. but I really would love the help. Thank You.

[VICKIVICKI]

Sorry, forgot to mention I am not young, 51 years old,if that will help in your advice.

[joelmarj]

Vicki - having a son with ADHD and Aspergers, I understand completely with what you are dealing with!

 

First off, you have the right idea to bring a friend. What you should first do is tell her that you really want her to be honest, and won't be upset if she tells you something doesn't look good. If she understands that upfront, and is a good friend, then I think you should be able to trust her going forward!

 

I think your idea of matching the outfits together is a great idea. I know that my son likes order and finds that having things orderly helps him and makes things less overwhelming. If you have accessories like jewelry or belts, put them in baggies with each outfit. If you want the same items to be used on two days, just put a piece of paper in the baggie with a note that tells you which two outfits it goes with.

 

As for mix and match, I'm not in favor of it. I personally like to bring a variety, but sometimes that's not always possible. The easiest way to deal with it is to stick with pretty neutral colors. Blacks, whites and beiges are always easiest to mix and match.

 

For day wear, t-shirts and shorts (if I recall, you will be in the Caribbean) it's easy to stick to basic color shorts or skirts and then use the t-shirts to add some color. 4 or 5 shorts in black, beige (kahki) or white can be mixed with any color top. For evenings, again, if you go with pieces stick with basics for the bottoms, and use the tops to bring color or accents.

 

Good luck with your shopping. I'm sure you will be fine.

[Hoyaheel]

I do not match my toenail polish to anything! I live in the South and wear sandals half the year, it seems, and always keep my toes painted (never my nails, because I garden, but anyway....) I pick a color I like--usually a red with pinkish undertones, but sometimes I vary--right now I'm wearing something more orange-y--and wear it until it's time to re-do the pedicure. If you're worried about a vibrant color clashing (usually they don't) you could always go with a lighter, more neutral tone. But I like to have fun with my toenails:D

 

Regarding your clothing, as much as I am a mix & match packer, I think you would probably be more comfortable setting out all your outfits ahead of time as you suggested. It might turn out you could mix and match from your outfits, but if it will stress you out to worry about it, pack the extra clothing and worry about lugging it through the airport instead of worrying about what to wear:p

[Ehpride]

I wear red on my toenails and didn't change it. If it really clashed, I guess I'd find a shade that went with my formal gown and just wear that for the whole time.

[Happy ks]

I don't know about toenail polish, but I actually wear a burgundy shade of lipstick with red outfits. I don't recall where I learned this, but it looks better than trying to match red shades.

 

If you are worried about your toenail polish matching your formal wear, coordinate with that outfit and don't worry about the other days or nights. I get my feet pedicured about every 4-5 weeks and never touch the polish in between.

 

Absolutely take a trusted friend along to help you select a few new things. Tell them exactly what you told us here, that you need honest opinions and your feelings will not be hurt. Don't be afraid to try on clothes that you would not normally pick out for yourself, you may be in for some surprises. I've also learned that, if I like the fit of a garment, there is nothing wrong with having it in several different colors.

 

Finally, don't buy anything that you don't love.

[VICKIVICKI]

Everyone;Thank-you. I feel much more confident now. Except for my formal gown[which Bobby already picked out] I will be buying my clothes mostly mid-summer. I'll have my husband take some pictures with the digital and show them to all of you[i will keep all tags on for your final

critique,though, and I will bring a friend with me for the shopping.]

Marj, my son is also ADHD with Aspergers. I do daycare for other "creatively wired' kids. We have had kids with Aspergers,ADHD, bi-polar, and, until recently, a little girl who is schizophrenic.Trust me, it never gets boring!

I am TRYING to write a book for kids,. about a boy who is ADHD with Aspergers. I can only work on it when I have large ammounts of time when I can allow myself to go into the "zone" and am oblivious to anything else, until, a day or two later, when my husband shakes me and brings me back to this world.When I then read what I have written, I am ussually as surprized as anyone else.[sometimes I actually write with words I was not aware I knew!]there are many stories within one,but there is an alternate universe,and in this alternate universe, it is the "NORMLS" who have trouble adapting to a world that does not seem made for them.[though, they are treated much more compassionately than is the case in this world]The odds, of course, of getting this book ever published are slim to none,but it is cathartic for me,and I'm hoping it might help other'decidedly different" kids to appreciate who they are[and maybe aid a few "NORMLS" in understanding.]

[smoothdancer]

I think too it is a wonderful idea to bring a friend. If I was invited I would be honest. You can be honest without be offensive. Girlfriend shopping is so much fun!

 

My son, now 26 also is AD. What is amazing is what they lack in some areas, the make up for in others. He is absolutley the most compassionate and caring person you would ever want to meet. His insight on life sometimes just makes me shake my head in amazement. I seem to learn from him all the time.

 

As far as being 51, well I am 50 and trust me there are plenty of fashions that work well at our age... I never feel old in my weekly mall hunts!

[VICKIVICKI]

Smoothdancer, if you don't mind me asking, how is your son doing?I worry so much about my l.J. and love hearing "success" stories.

[BlueHerons]

Vicki, make sure when you go shopping you get fitted for a good bra. A good bra will help your clothes fit better.

 

Investing in a good bra is worth its weight in gold. Also, if you can only afford one, buy a nude bra instead of white.

[joelmarj]

I think too it is a wonderful idea to bring a friend. If I was invited I would be honest. You can be honest without be offensive. Girlfriend shopping is so much fun!

 

My son, now 26 also is AD. What is amazing is what they lack in some areas, the make up for in others. He is absolutley the most compassionate and caring person you would ever want to meet. His insight on life sometimes just makes me shake my head in amazement. I seem to learn from him all the time.

 

As far as being 51, well I am 50 and trust me there are plenty of fashions that work well at our age... I never feel old in my weekly mall hunts!

 

My son is the same way. He is so incredibly sensative and compassionate.

 

Vicki - don't give up on your writings. You would be surprised at how possible it is to get published. My son had a teacher who ended up writing a book about her experiences with teaching him. She is now in the process of getting the book published.

 

They truely are unique personalities. For all the quirkiness, there are some incredibly wonderful and charming.

[TJ&Ace]

1. a good haircut, color, conditioning, and style

2. fresh pedicure

3. fresh manicure

4. make up...not too much, but no naked faces with formal wear.( I have seen women put on a formal and not do a thing to their face and it freaks me out!:confused: You don't have to wear a lot of makeup to make a huge difference. We all know how I love my makeup.:p