Straights attending FOD meetings

[Cruise Arizona]

I forgot to mention who my favorite diva is.... "Kristen Chenoweth". I think she is more lovely and more talented than anyone else I could think of!!!

[Cruise Arizona]

I forgot to mention who my favorite diva is.... "Kristen Chenoweth". I think she is more lovely and more talented than anyone else I could think of!!!

[derf5585]

I forgot to mention who my favorite diva is.... "Kristen Chenoweth". I think she is more lovely and more talented than anyone else I could think of!!!

 

Chenoweth (sometimes referred to as "Cheno" by her fans) is short in stature, at only 4 feet 11 inches (150 cm) tall. She has a distinctive speaking voice; in monthly culture magazine FHM's March 2006 issue, she compared her voice to Betty Boop.

from

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Kristen_Chenoweth

 

Homepage

http://www.kristinchenoweth.com/

[West Coast]

We've cruise with Princess many times to a variety of destinations. On our first cruise the FOD party was hosted by one of the (gay) male dancers. His name was Lawrence and he was a riot. He picked up a round of drinks, compliments of the cruise director and told us that Princess will gladly advertise an FOD party but there must be someone to host it. He told us that he had volunteered to host because no one from the CD staff was available and personally, it allowed him to meet and socialize with a great group of passengers.

 

On another cruise the 'Rainbow Gettogether' was hosted by one of the assistant CD's. He was a nice guy who brought along a bottle of the infamous Princess Champagne. It was interesting to hear his take and experiences about on-board life as a gay man.

 

And on one of our most memorable cruises (to Alaska) the FOD party was hosted by one of the youngest female (straight) members of the CD staff. She was so cute... and did a great job. It was her first contract with Princess and she had only been onboard for about a month. She didn't know a lot about the why's and how's of an FOD party but did a great job socializing and engaging everyone in conversation. I found it interesting that while she knew she was hosting a group of gay men, she didn't know anything about the reference to Dorothy. A number of people were very eager to join the conversation and explain the historical signifigance.

[derf5585]

she didn't know anything about the reference to Dorothy. A number of people were very eager to join the conversation and explain the historical signifigance.

 

The origin of the term is unknown and there are various theories. Most commonly it has been linked to the film The Wizard of Oz because Judy Garland, who starred as the main character Dorothy, is often noted as a major icon in the gay community. Another theory is that the Dorothy referred to is in fact Dorothy Parker who befriended many gay people

from

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Friend_of_Dorothy

[Gator83]

Jack: How was the Century? It''s on my wish-list?

 

Aerrobear: That's interesting. I have never been to a FOD that was actually attended by a member of the staff. Like Etoile, my experience has been that they designate a place and whoever shows up is meant to introduce themselves and facilitate their own get-together. Which line do you sail predominantly that you have been having such facilitation? We've only been on RCL and Celebrity.

 

 

Dec. 2005 I was on the Coral Princess and the FOD meetings were hosted by a straight female member of the cruise director's staff. She was young, cute, and very nice. We had a great time.

[CindyM64]

Thanks to everyone who has posted to this thread...it's been very informative. As a single "40ish" straight woman who has no interest in romance at the moment, but loves meeting new people to hang out with, I have thought about attending a FOD event on my next cruise. Frankly, I'm looking for male (and female) friends, not someone to hook up with, and when the guy is gay there are none of those awkward sexual tension (or lack thereof) moments to distract from the friendship. I also happen to agree with the previous posters who know that gay guys are generally more fabulous than the rest of us. ;)

 

I've wondered if I would be welcomed or considered intrusive at the FOD gatherings, and from what the majority of people have said in this thread, a sincere straight person who just wants to meet new people would probably be welcomed. Is that a fair conclusion?

 

Cindy

[sactoken]

I think I generally agree that if someone makes their way politely into a FOD gathering, it should be no big deal. While never having had the opportunity to attend one, I would guess that there are more "unofficial" FOD meetings during the late-evenings, at a designated bar, etc.

 

Afterall, if a Republican stumbles into a Democrat meeting and doesn't tell Bill Clinton jokes, what's the harm? A social event is just that, a social event...and if we want more "private" gatherings, arrange them as we wish, but we can't expect the cruiseline to allowing an exclusionary practice. Frankly, in the final analysis, we should not want to be associated with any exclusionary or discriminatory practice...however subtle.

 

I think we should consider another possibility as well.

 

If someone comes to a FOD event who does not identify as gay, perhaps they are curious, questioning, or afraid. Being able to speak frankly and make friends with a stranger may do wonders for them and their process/exploration. Or perhaps they are struggling with the suspicion someone in their family is gay.

 

We are on vacation in a recreational setting. Hopefully we can relax and roll with something we may not understand immediately, knowing that as a gay person, we have been not understood ourselves.

 

Glad I signed on and found this board...you'all sound nice!

 

Ken

[JGarland]

I feel Gay meetings are just that - Gay meetings.

 

We Gays have plenty of access to "Breeders" and meetings like FOD are a means to meet other Gays in order to share Gay life experiences, Gay topics, Gay travel, etc.; and putting it bluntly - sometimes sex.

 

I personally do not need any more "Fag Tags" or curious Breeders. I enjoy them and think some of them are lots of fun -but not at FOD meetings.

 

I know I'm not the only one who feels this way.

 

Sorry to offend some.

 

JG

[CindyM64]

Certainly, everyone is entitled to his/her own opinion, and to assume that all FODs feel the same way about this or any issue would be presumptuous.

 

I can definitely see both sides. On one hand, in a world where FODs are often ostracized and worse, there should be some safe havens where there is no self-consciousness. On the other, it seems a bit ironic that there are those who would want to ostracize people who are merely trying to befriend you.

 

If you think of straights who are gay-friendly as "fag tags" (that's a new one for me) and they show up, why not just ignore them? Am I mistaken in assuming that FOD events are sort of like cocktail parties in which you may end up meeting everyone, but will likely gravitate toward some indivuals or groups a lot more than others?

 

Cindy

[pnhmrk]

I've wondered if I would be welcomed or considered intrusive at the FOD gatherings, and from what the majority of people have said in this thread, a sincere straight person who just wants to meet new people would probably be welcomed. Is that a fair conclusion?

 

Cindy - my feeling is that if you wandered in by accident then you'd be made to feel welcome, if you planned to attend then then personally I would find it a bit OTT. Would you go to a "Friends of Bill W" unless you felt a need to be there; a Bridge tournament and not play cards; a wine tasting and not participate in trying the wines; etc just to make friends? There are plenty of opportunities to make friends on voyages - I feel that FOD parties are really only for FOD.

[cruzin cruiser]

At the risk of asking a stupid question, how does someone know where and when the FOD meetings are held on each ship?

 

Are the meetings posted in the daily activities notices?

 

I have seen Friends of Bill W. meetings posted on every single cruise I've been on, but never FOD meetings.

[derf5585]

"fag tags" (that's a new one for me)

 

To amass a big group of gays, lesbians and their friends and take over a traditionally straight venue.

from

http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=fag+tag

 

Fag Tag is about getting together all of your friends—gay, lesbian, straight and all in between—and partying outside of the usual limited choices. Each month a different, traditionally straight, venue is chosen to be Fag Tagged and the word is spread among friends to come and party the night way.

from

http://www.doubletongued.org/index.php/citations/fag_tag_1/

[derf5585]

I feel Gay meetings are just that - Gay meetings.

 

Do you object to straights posting on the "Gay" board

[02143]

Sorry to offend some.

 

You know, I understand where you're coming from. But when someone comes in and asks politely about whether they'd be welcome at an event, there's surely a way to answer their question with the same respect they're showing us in coming to this board and asking us how we feel about their attending an FOD meeting.

 

Cindy--thank you for coming in here and asking. As you've read on this thread, some people are comfortable with all people coming to FODs, while others prefer to socialize with gays only at that time. But cruising is all about meeting new people and getting out and socializing, so I think your best bet would be to come up and introduce yourself to people you think you'd like to meet and would get along with at other times when you see them on the ship. Trust me, we'd be flattered and know exactly what's going on, and you could well hit it off since you have such a repoire with different people. My partner's naturally very outgoing and seems to draw in like-minded people whenever we travel. And people who are looking for a different environment for socializing will give off vibes that will make it clear, as it would with anyone else you might, gay or straight.

 

I hope this makes sense!

[travelertwo]

are Carnival cruise lines really "FOD freindly"? I will be cruising 1/28/07 on the Carnival Miracle and have no hopes for a "gay gathering"......last carnival cruise I was on (this is my 3rd) when I asked about FOD or any gay activity, they looked at me in horror.

[txflyer]

are Carnival cruise lines really "FOD freindly"? I will be cruising 1/28/07 on the Carnival Miracle and have no hopes for a "gay gathering"......last carnival cruise I was on (this is my 3rd) when I asked about FOD or any gay activity, they looked at me in horror.

 

FOD meetings were held on our last two Carnival cruises. There were 3 meetings on the 7 day Destiny itinerary, and 2 meetings on the 5 day Elation itinerary. Other than those two, I am not sure about the other Carnival cruise we did. It was our first on Carnival...and being fairly new to cruising, I didnt even know Friends of Dorothy meetings existed...so I never looked for it in the daily activities. ..>>jack

[txflyer]

Like I said a few pages back in this thread, I find it hard to believe that people within a segment of society that for years has screamed for acceptance and understanding.... would become UNaccepting.

 

After 10+ years of superior job performance, I was told by a supervisor that I would go no further with that company....because I am gay. I soon left that company and made drastic changes in my career path. A few years ago a national fitness chain told me that my long-term significant other was not entitled to a "family" discount. I eventually took our membership elsewhere...to a place that agreed with our definition of "family."

 

I have strong feelings about unacceptance.... with this idea of being exclusionary with our social gatherings: Does a gay bar or dance club query sexual orientation upon entry? (no) Does a gay mens sauna query sexual orientation upon entry? (no) Are gay-oriented magazines only sold to gays? (no) Are some of the dissenters on this thread willing to ask those attending a FOD meeting if they are in fact, gay? (you tell me)

 

The idea that we would expect a "non-gay" to come to an FOD meeting, identify their orientation and request permission to attend is simply silly.

 

I dont understand what breeds some of these attitudes. I had mentioned earlier about a recent cruise we were on where the FOD gathering was paired with "Diva Night" in the disco. That evening, one of the gay guys there mentioned to me that he didnt like the idea that the cruise line was "type casting" us by featuring the music of Cher, Mariah Carey, Diana Ross, Madonna and Elton John. Typecasting?? I thought it was a way of reaching out to us.

 

It seems to me that its all about being social. Its all about making new friends. Its all about making friends that we may find secondary commonality with.... beyond our sexual orientation.

 

If CindyM64 is on a cruise and enjoys socializing with a room full of gay men and lesbians, they why shouldnt she be there? I certainly would enjoy her company as well as that of Derf and Derfette...and anyone else that wants to participate.

 

I enjoy the interaction with the straight people in this thread. I certainly hope that none of them are offended by some of the ideas related here. I really hope they can all realize that not all gays are exclusionary and unaccepting.... and in reality are warm, friendly people. I can confidently and happily say that the exclusionary types are a minority.

 

Ive read some recent Princess Patters and noticed the Friends of Dorothy Ggathering was now called a "Rainbow Gathering" Maybe this will eliminate some of the harsh exclusivity.

[Schplinky]

I agree with Jack. If I were at an FOD party and someone was leaving because they were made to feel unwelcome, I'd likely go with them. This needing to have an exclusive event makes me feel as though we're telling people that we need them to leave so we can do the secret handshake (or plan an orgy). It's a frivolous waste of energy and my guess would be that some folks who want the party to be only gay would then sit there and gripe about how they were singled out in some other aspect of the cruise because they were gay. You can't have it both ways.

 

As everyone tries to carve out their own niche in this world, I'm afraid that even within the gay community, there are too many people trying to say "they" are a part of "us" , who ever they and us happen to be at the time. My feeling is that if they're not against us, they're with us. Whoever "they" happens to be. We travel as a group from time to time and it would horrify me to think that our friends would be made to feel unwelcome if they came along with (or came up to) us at a Friends of Dororthy party.

 

To answer the person who asks if they would be welcome at the FOD party, the answer is certainly a big yes if we're there. To the person who asked if straights can post on this board, I can't imagine why not (or how we'd accomplish that).

 

Friends of Dorothy should be open to all friends, not just Dorothy herself.

[etoile]

Hmm. I guess the real reason I go to an FOD event is to meet the other gay people on the ship. If I meet some straight people too, I can live with that! I'd feel a little funny if only straight people turned up, because that wasn't what I was there for. But as long as I get to meet some of the gay people on board, I'm happy. I just like knowing that there are people on board who are like me. (My gaydar has good days and bad days!)

 

I think what would make me unhappy is having a straight person be in there because they didn't know what it was, and then they rush off in a huff muttering about "ew, gay people." That's the only way a straight person could hurt my enjoyment at a FOD event.

[02143]

This needing to have an exclusive event makes me feel as though we're telling people that we need them to leave so we can do the secret handshake (or plan an orgy).

 

The issue is that some people feel a level of comfort in all-gay environments that we don't feel in mixed environments. This doesn't mean that we don't enjoy being in mixed environments, that we don't deal and thrive in the "real world", that we'd interrogate or chase out straight people who come to FOD meetings, or that we're going to do stuff like this:

 

my guess would be that some folks who want the party to be only gay would then sit there and gripe about how they were singled out in some other aspect of the cruise because they were gay.

 

I sense this is turning into a rehash of that "can I go on an Olivia cruise" thread that ended so badly.

 

I will add that I've never been on a mainstream cruise with FOD meetings. My most recent two cruises were with Pied Piper, which made FODs unnecessary as all the unconnected gay people found us. On my first cruise, I was in college and with my parents so I wasn't going to be in that frame of mind anyway, and on my second cruise, there was no FOD meeting and we found the other gay couple on the ship on our own. So, whereas my sense of a FOD meeting is for people to hang out and socialize, I may be in a different frame of mind from people who've used them to identify gays they wouldn't have met otherwise.

 

Honestly, in mixed company that I've just met, I feel awkward putting my arm around my partner when we're on a couch and kissing him on the cheek. Psychoanalyze that all you want, but it's how I react and it's a common issue. I think there's room for a discussion of how much comfort I should expect as one passenger on a cruise that is predominantly straight people.

 

Is this an issue that can be discussed constructively, or is this thread going to go up in flames? I hope it's the former.

[JGarland]

Do you object to straights posting on the "Gay" board

. . .Yes!

[derf5585]

Do you object to straights posting on the "Gay" board

. . .Yes!

 

I'll leave this thread if I am not welcomed.

[02143]

I'll leave this thread if I am not welcomed.

 

Well, he doesn't speak for me, and I doubt he speaks for many other people on this thread. And it's against both the rules and the spirit of Cruise Critic.

[JGarland]

A Fag Tag is also a straight person who likes to chum around with Gays.