Happyscot - Welcome Home

[silverfoxcruiser]

I'm so glad to see you posting. How was your cruise? Did you post a review? I want to read it.... I appreciate your point of view and want to see more of it. Please, Sir, I want some more....

 

Silver :cool: Let those of us who appreciate your point of view hear more. Please, Sir.

[happyscot]

Wow. No one's been that nice to me before without charging by the half hour and checking I'd brought a condom......... Thank you.

 

Not sure too many folk agree with you, perhaps I was a bit naughty and was duly punished by the forum police. I e-mailed to ask why precisely, but no response was the response............maybe they work for Princess customer services part-time. ONLY JOKING HOST THINGY. Princess Line, Cunard Line, Host Caro-line. All powerful, all giving, all taketh away-ing. All hail the hosts, for they are bountiful and fulsome. Hic. Yes I am pissed (in the GB sense of senseless).

 

Still a princess virgin (a fairly unusual status in the British royal family), sailing on Sea Princess in May around the Med. Travelled a lot by land, but new to the cruisy thing, having only one beneath my belt, on a wee GB line called Thomson, as regular listeners will know. Bad, bad things happened, and I'm looking to an experience that will restore my faith.

 

I've become completely addicted to this wonderful, wonderful site, to the extent that my long-suffering boss, a Glaswegian called Joe, explained to me that Cruise Critic actually did not occupy a prominent part of my job description the other day. First off, such fantastic information, for which, once again, THANK YOU ALL. Not enough people say that - you guys save us newbies mega dollars/real British money every day.

 

Secondly, most of you are completely insane in the British, monty python way. Zip loc bags, smuggled booze, Bears, zip loc bags, jeans in the dining room, zip loc bags, marwichuana, zip loc bags, Captain Nash and so on and so on. The world is completely unsafe in your hands, you need more help than a liner full of therapists can provide, but hey its going to be fun until you blow us all up.

 

But I've caught the bug. On God know's how many previous holidays, including one to Florida, in the heart of the Great Satan itself, I started worrying about details when I reached the airport. Now I find myself, months away, worrying frantically about whether I have enough of the large zip-loc bags for used toilet paper, whether my twin beds are convertible, whether the asparagus is served on the Tuesday or the Wednesday WITHOUT the whey flour additive incongestant I can't tolerate, whether my assitant waiter is Pedro or Pepe (is that a name or a medical condition), whether DW's personal stimulation aids are the only source of excessive vibration in the cabin, whether Captain Nash is Port-averse, whether Cabin BZ 76843 has the partly-obscured window and the view of the Strength through Joy Spa (huurrrrraayyyy) , and most importantly of all, whether the scapbook class is still running.

 

I leave you, gentle Amurikan cousins, with a question, and please answer, and be witty:

 

What the bloody hell is a towel animal????????????????

[Ula]

HappyScot,

You should not encounter a towel animal on your Princess Cruise. Do not fret. We did a towel animal cruise with my folks, my mother the bad influence made one back. It was X rated. Her reason she may be a senior but not dead.

On your ziplocks, my husband is the ziplock king. He heard you should pack things in the bags. This was for things that might leak. My husband does everything, and his dad owned the town butcher shop. You open his case and it looks like a well stocked sausage case.

If Princess ever opened his case, I think they would have heart failure. It is all sausage rolls of clothes and such. He is to old to change.

[Wormy53]

I am also glad you're back! There is only one problem - I sit in here and laugh out loud!!! My husband wants to know what is WRONG!!! I told him the poem guy was at it again.

 

By the way - I would like to know how to make that towel animal!!!

[DesrtDrmr]

:D Me, too!

And welcome back...................you inspired many giggles around here......thanks!

[Colo Cruiser]

What the bloody hell is a towel animal????????????????

 

 

 

[DougYWG]

Eh've niver din this afore so maybe it'll nae work. Eh've attempted tae attach towel animals. Here goes...

[silverfoxcruiser]

Are you bringing the Scott toilet paper and ziploc bags to store your "things" in? Inquiring minds want to know...another question -- were you absent because you were banned? For what reason? Silver:cool:

[happyscot]

Banned??? You can get banned? Oh thank you lord, a challenge at last!!!!

 

Nah, just wandered off and argued with some brilliant Amurikans about food, and wrote some poems. Anyway, enough about that, or Caro Line will smite me with her sword of justice. Funny thing, in Scotlandshire, the Moderator is the name for the head of the main Scottish protestant church, like Archbishop or Raving Loony in other proddy churches. Extending the logic, the Super Moderator must be God then.

 

Wow those pictures of towel animals are deeply, deeply scary. You people present your children with towelette effigies of plucked chickens with unfeasibly large human genitals for fun? You've just risen considerably in my estimation.

 

Well its rainy and cold in Scotland this evening. The bonny bonny banks have just announced record profits, and another poor sod copped one in Iraq. Our local wee toon is the HQ for one of the most famous regiments in the British army, the Black Watch, and each time they come back there's a few more medals and a few less men to wear them. Must be a better way to settle arguments. Towel animals at dawn.....it could work!!!

 

Ibn Bin Laden......are you rrrrrready. George Bush........are you rrrrrready. Gentlemen, fold your towels!!!!!!!!!

 

A short verse.

 

I sail the sea

In the vibrating Sea

In the May of 007

I hope to see

In the vibrating Sea

Lobster and crab leg heaven.

 

 

I hope to see

In the vibrating Sea

A vibrant needlework class

I hope to feel

After my meal

Scott's tissue on my

 

Right, time to go.

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[Shogun]

Hi Happy Scot,

 

I see that more Brits have died this time in Afgani... do you think our mates over the pond realize that we are such a small country in numbers to them and that hundreds killed in action means a lot to us.

 

yours Shogun

[Sea Fan]

Happyscot, Oh yes you can get banned so please be careful because you are a breath of fresh air. I haven't laughed in a long time as much as I have in the last couple of days.

 

I'm with you your Towel Animals at 12 paces certainly works for me!

 

Shogun~Trust me many of us realize it, including my cousin and BIL who are there. There must be a better way.

 

Dianne

[happyscot]

Well it's still cold and miserable in Scotland. It's ok though, because the Government hasn't yet taxed rain.

 

Thanks for your message Shogun. I'm sure our Amurikan cousins are aware of our casualties in Afghanistan, because sadly there's quite a good chance they caused them, with another poor young under-trained over-worked F16 pilot on speed to keep them awake. Ach well, we're all suffering through this silly war. We all have our votes, we all know what we have to do. Oh God, we in GB have to vote Tory (think wimpy neo-con with a silly accent)............you get to vote for a lady or a black guy, so mega mega cool, don't mess it up now.

 

Imagine a woman President? "Madame President, why have you declined to reduce the fiscal burden on small Amurikan businesses"? "Well if you don't know I'm not going to tell you!!!! You never pay any attention to my fiscal policies - its all you, you, you!!! I'm going to bed!!! Oh by the way, New Orleans is under 6 feet of water again, and I can't remember whether we agreed to invade Iran or Iraq, and the cat hasn't been fed - you sort it out!!!!"

 

Imagine a black President? Sorry guys, got carried away, I'll be hearing vibrations on the Sea Princess next.....

 

What's "needlepoint"?

 

What's prime rib - is that Roast Beef?

 

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

[cruiseapril]

Shogun- Ah, if only the world were comprised (fully) of peaceful cruisers, traveling diplomats, and kindly folk.

[cruiseapril]

happyscot- There are "Amerikuns" who weep for every loss in dreadful wars. Please keep us in mind. Happy Cruising.